


it takes a village

by INTPSlytherin_reylove97



Series: friends with kids [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Absentee parent, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety Attacks, Babies, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo Would Wait For Eternity To Be With Rey Forever, Ben Solo is a DILF, Ben Solo is a Proud Dad and The World Will Know of His Daughter's Greatness, Ben is Just Cringe But We Love Him, But Its Quick in the Fic, Character Death, Character on the Autism Spectrum, Children, Endometriosis Mention, F/M, Fatherhood Mellowed Ben Solo, Funeral, Gen, Han Solo Can Be Wise, It's An Original Charatcer, Leia is THAT Grandma, Like Father like Daughter, Major character death - Freeform, Mention of Abortion (Super Brief), Mom Rey, Not Really Reylo Children, Not Rey or Ben But the Kid's Other Parents, Pneumonia, Pregnancy, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey is Clueless to Ben's Feelings and Her Own, Roommates, Single Parents, So Calm Your Tits, Step Parent Adoption, THEIR DAUGHTER IS AWFUL WITH EMOTIONS, Talk of Sex Because Hux has No Shame, The 2000s Were A Time Where Ben Solo Was A Moody Young Man, Unplanned Pregnancy, Young Adult Ben is Bad At Relationships, alcoholism mentioned, but still cute, dad ben solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2019-10-31 00:19:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 91,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17838815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INTPSlytherin_reylove97/pseuds/INTPSlytherin_reylove97
Summary: Over the course of sixteen years, Rey and Ben were roommates who became friends, who became single parents, who became roommatesagainand are now a couple.How they became a couple? Well it took more than just moving in--it took time, and patience, and friendship. After all, it takes a village to raise a child--or two.~*~*~*~*~*~A continuation on the Single Parents/Roommates AU "Friends with Kids"





	1. September 2005

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was asked by the majority to continue this universe and here we are! I had a couple of scenes written that didn't make the fic or just little snapshots written for my sake that I can share here! :D
> 
> So if you have not read the oneshot ["Friends With Kids"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16070738/chapters/42064109), I recommend you go and read it now before this! Some brief review--Thea is Ben's daughter and Max is Rey's son. There is about a seven year age gap between the kids, and about a five year one between Rey and Ben. Alright here you go! Typos will be fixed later.

“Why not just ask Rey?” Poe suggested, pouring milk into his bowl of cereal—pouring milk into a bowl of cereal in _Ben’s_ kitchenette. Despite not living together for the last year, Poe Dameron still made himself at home in the tiny apartment. He stopped by to hang out on the weekend, mostly there to watch Thea in the afternoon while Ben went to his part time job, but came early to chat. “She’s always looking for an extra way to make cash and you’ll give her a place to hang out at night and do homework.”

“I won’t be able to pay her much—”

“Pay her with food, girl won’t turn down food,” Poe looked up from his CoCo Puffs, “We all lived together for like, what? _Two, three years_? How do you not know this?”

“Oh, you mean when Rey and Finn lied on their application saying they were eighteen when they were really _sixteen.”_

“They were almost seventeen—”

“Doesn’t change the fact they were _sixteen_ —”

“Don’t forget they were emancipated. They didn’t want to be placed back in the foster system,” Poe reminded him, stirring his cereal. “And I think it was _smart_ , moving to a college town, living with other people who are trying to figure out the whole adult thing. In a way, we sort of helped them.”

Ben suppressed an eyeroll.

Poe huffed, “And I don’t know what your problem is; you didn’t mind when we found out, and you still lived with her. Why now?”

He hesitated a moment before shrugging. To be perfectly honest, he did not have a good excuse.

It wasn’t that Ben didn’t _like_ Rey. She was okay. A smart and clever girl. Never a messy roommate. They had similar tastes in music and when putting both their skills together they could make a decent spaghetti dinner.

But that was as far as their friendship went—

 _Well_ …except for that time she sat him down and flat-out told him Jyn wasn’t going to stick around. His first ever serious relationship was with the sharp and prickly, Jyn Erso, who wasn’t exactly the motherly type and preferred to travel and do ‘good’ for the world . Thankfully the two parted on good terms…for the most part.

He should have listened to Rey then, but she was still the somewhat annoying kid who lived with them because she knew how to bend the rules. Now she was just the kid who was his acquaintance and Poe’s roommate.

“I have Dad Vision now,” Ben explained pathetically. “Everyone I see, I suddenly remember all the mistakes and questionable choices they made, and I can’t help but be paranoid.”

Poe sighed, not really in the place or position to argue with Ben on the matter. “Ben…you are not going to be able to find someone else you even remotely trust to watch Thea if that’s how you view everything.” He picked up his spoon and ate a mouthful of puffs. Chewing thoughtful, he shrugged. “You _know_ Rey—all her mistakes and some of her victories. She works on campus—the same college you both attend and goes to undergrad there. She is free from noon to six everyday, you need someone to watch Thea during the day,” Poe gave Ben a hard look, “She is your only option right now, unless you want to take your mother on her offer to move in—”

“No!” Ben nearly shouted, before dropping his voice a little lower. “No—the moment my mother moves in, is the moment everything goes to shit.” He sat up straighter, arms crossed over his chest. “I can do the single parent thing…I just need help from someone who isn’t my mother.”

Poe raised an eyebrow, but did not argue.

“Then call Rey and say you’ll pay her by letting her use your internet, eat your food, and having access to your car.”

“What happened to her car?”

“The little Speeder VX? Died, like it’s dead-dead. I don’t even think your dad can resurrect it.”

“Damn,” Ben muttered, feeling more obligated than privileged to let Rey babysit Thea.

Well, he didn’t have many options…

 

* * *

 

“Call me for anything—I mean _anything_ ,” Ben ordered the nineteen year old sharply.

Rey nodded again, arms crossed. “Yes, I heard you the twelve other times. I already have all the emergency contacts you gave me in my phone.” She cocked her head to the side, raising an eyebrow. “You do know I have babysat children before, right?”

“I know,” Ben huffed, “I’m just…” He shook his head. “Just let me do this.” Taking a deep breath, he began to head out the door.

“I think you might be forgetting something,” Rey called out.

“What?” Ben turned around.

She pointed to the baby carrier on his chest, Thea looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Right,” he muttered. He could not walk out with the baby strapped to his chest. Carefully, he lift Thea out and handed her over into Rey’s awaiting arms. Crouching down, Ben gave his daughter a leveled look. “Be good for Rey, Theodora. No fits okay?”

The six month old blinked at him before gurgling into a smile.

Okay. She’ll be _okay_.

“Say ‘bye’,” Rey teased by Thea’s ear, having the baby wave back at him.

Stepping away, Ben picked up his backpack and keys, heading to the door. With great effort, he left the apartment, putting all his trust into Rey.

 

* * *

 

Astonishingly enough, Rey and Thea clicked instantly.

And Ben tried his absolute best to not be jealous.

‘Tried’ the key word.

Thea babbled and smiled happily with Rey, doing grabby hands whenever she saw the young woman. Playing with Rey’s hair became Thea’s favorite pass time, chewing on the chestnut strands. While Ben would usually scold Thea lightly about it, Rey didn’t seem to mind and continued to read to the baby.

Not to mention Thea seemed to cease crying in Rey’s presence, as though she knew to be on her best behavior with her—and screw Poe with mentioning the little nickname to everyone— _Auntie Rey_. Ben had spent countless days and nights with Thea’s insistent crying, yet the moment Rey appears, it is as though all pain and tears were gone.

His daughter apparently love the babysitter more than her parent, and it was a tough pill to swallow.

“Don’t think of it like that,” Leia assured him when she came for her usual Sunday visit. Thea sat in her jumper, playing with all the knick-knacks and thingamabobs attached to the tray as Ben and his mother talked. “Thea hasn’t interacted with any other woman beside myself and Amylin since Jyn left for Portugal after the birth. It is _natural_ she gets attached to the woman who has been caring for her on daily basis.”

Sitting on the floor beside Thea’s jumper, Ben considered his mother’s words. From the beginning it had been Ben and Thea against the world, she relied on him for everything— _she’s a baby for crying out loud—_ but the thought of her relying on someone else who wasn’t her parent, or anything resembling such, caused an uncomfortable swirl in his gut.

“Ben,” Leia called out softly, “Rey is not going to replace you and I can promise, Thea does not love her more than you. Just look at the kid,” Thea giggling smile lifted his heart, “your daughter _adores_ you. Relish in that.”

And so Ben tried and it worked for the most part because at the end of the day, Rey left and it was just father and daughter.

That is until the unrelenting five day rain storm in December.

His drive back to the apartment took at least a half hour longer than the usual ten minutes with the streets flooding and the shift between rain and hail at high winds. With great effort Ben was able to make it into his complex, though sopping wet, only his laptop protect under several layers in his backpack.

“What the hell took you so long? I am going to be late for class,” Rey cried out as she shrugged on her jacket and march out the door.

Quickly, Ben caught her arm, swinging her back into the entryway.

“Yeah—you are not going to class,” Ben declared, closing the door behind him. Hairstyle, he set down his belongings and took off his drenched layers of clothes. “The streets are flooded and most of the classes have been cancelled due to leaks and floods in the lecture halls.”

“Shit,” Rey muttered, picking up the wet clothes from the floor. Unceremoniously she dropped the articles of clothing back in its pile, Ben nodding in understanding. “What the fuck I am supposed to do now? I can’t get back to my apartment in this weather.”

Ben squinted at her, wiping away the water on his glasses. “What do you mean, ‘what are you going to do’? No way are you going outside.”

She frowned, her eyes narrowing at his implications. “Are—are you saying I can stay here until the rain let up?”

“Well,” Ben shrugged, picking up his wet clothes, down to his black t-shirt and drenched jeans, “ _yeah_ , I’m not a heathen. Don’t need you getting sick or stuck because of the rain.”

He marched off to his room, dropping off his clothes in the hamper knowing he’d have to move laundry day sooner this week. Quickly he changed into dry, comfortable clothes and towel dried his hair before making his way back into living room.

“How was Thea today?” Ben asked surprised to see Rey sitting on the floor with Thea, working on more homework. He titled his head to the side, watching as Thea looked at the array of papers with laser focus attention. “So is this what you do all day; work on homework with Thea watching?” he quipped in amusement.

Looking up from her notebook, Rey rolled her eyes. “No, only sometimes. And she is not looking at my homework, she’s like my bracelet.” To prover her point, she held out her wrist. A simple, thick leather band bracelet. She wore a matching one on the other wrist. “She tries to take them off and put them on, but I kind of draw the line jewelry as chew toys.”

“She’s not a dog.”

“But she is teething,” Rey reminded him. “I actually picked up a few books on infant development since I started babysitting Thea. Trying to, you know, look out and do my part.”

Crouching down, Ben joined them on the floor. Seeing her dad, Thea attempted to wiggle on her belly to him. After a moment, Ben picked her up, Thea happy to be held in his arms.

“What do you mean by _doing your part_?” he asked, moved his head away from a small grabby hand.

“You know,” a slight flush dusted her checks as she kept her gaze trained on the papers in front of her, “on being informed and not totally clueless on babies. I mean,” she grinned cheekily, “I am her Auntie Rey. I should know these things.”

A sigh left him as he helped Thea get situated on his lap, the baby playing happily with his left hand. While pleasantly surprised to hear Rey was doing her research, he also felt guilty for his quick judgement and brief jealousy. The girl was _trying_ to help. She wasn’t demanding to be paid and seemed to genuinely care for Thea.

“Babies don’t usually like me,” Rey admitted quietly. Her eyes focused softly on Thea, a ghost of a smile gracing her lips. “But for some reason Thea does. I think it’s pretty cool.” Her gaze shifted up to Ben, she biting her lip. “You know what Ben…you’re a pretty decent dude.”

“Thanks—"

“And I don’t throw around compliments often,” she continued, turning back to her homework, “but you are. I mean someone either needs to be egotistical dipshit _or_ a decent guy with a tortured soul to own all The Smiths albums _and_ Morrissey’s solo stuff.”

He raised an affronted eyebrow. “You went through my music collection?”

“Dude, what else I am supposed to do when Thea can’t sleep? Have her watch _Playhouse Disney_?” Rey stressed, shoving her homework away. “No—I educate her on good music. You just happen to have an adequate collection.”

Ben scoffed. “My collection is _more_ than adequate—”

“You have ‘MMMbop’ on your shelf!”

“It’s a classic!”

“It’s an _atrocity_ ,” Rey corrected with a shameful shake of her head. “If it makes you feel any better, I also play some Bach and Mozart. I read somewhere classical music makes infants smarter. Don’t know if that has any substantial evidence to prove it, but doesn’t hurt to try.”

Huh, he didn’t expect that.

Ben hummed in approval. “You actually…” ‘care’ was on the tip of his tongue, but Ben had the sense to banish it away, “…are not that bad, Rey Jacobs.”

She beamed brightly back at him, Ben feeling a random spike of exposure in his soul at the sight.

For as long as he’d known Rey, Ben had never seen her smile— _genuinely smile_ —and he was pretty sure no else had either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thea and Rey were always two peas in a pod. And for those of you who mentioned Rey has kind of always been "Mom" to her, you are absolutely right! At this point, Rey and Ben are not quite friends but are slowly getting there. 
> 
>  
> 
> So for these snapshots and oneshots, there won't be any rhyme or reason to the order, but I will make an effort to point out where they fall in the timeline in the top notes. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; I love discussing the fic with my readers :D
> 
> follow me on twitter @intpslytherin97


	2. May 2008

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go!
> 
> Typos will be fixed later! :D

“You told me you’d be here for the recital,” Ben muttered into his phone, waving politely to the other parents as they entered the building for Rebel School of Dance’s dress rehearsal. “I told Thea someone _special_ was coming.”

“Ben, I tried to get out on an earlier flight, but tropical storms are a thing,” Jyn prattled on, the harsh winds heard from her end of the conversation. “I am calling you on a fucking _landline_ —it is pretty serious here.” A tried sigh escaped her, her voice dropping. “You have no idea how bad I feel for missing Thea’s dance recital.”

While Ben wanted to be understanding and give Jyn the benefit of the doubt, he knew this was how she worked. They only had three rules in their agreement—

_Jyn needed to give child support._

_Jyn needed to give health information when needed._

_And Jyn needed to be there for the big events, holidays excluded._

She followed through on the first two like clockwork, even having emergency numbers she be could reached at if she was out of contact for some time. But she failed _every_ time when it came to their third agreement.

The last time Jyn actually saw Thea was on the girl’s second birthday, and that was nearly _two years ago_.

“Fine…” he took a deep breath, “I’ll figure out what to do on my end, and I’ll send you the bill for the dance costume. The least you can do is pay for that—”

“Of course! Absolutely, just send it to my brother. He will take care of everything—thank you so much Ben, and I am truly sorry.”

He didn’t both to try and listen to her excuses anymore, only said goodbye and for her to be safe. Ending the call, Ben tucked his Blackberry in his inner jacket pocket.

 _Well, shit_.

What the hell was he supposed to do now?

He promised Thea someone special was coming to her recital—last time he’d ever use such phrasing—and his surprise was stuck in a tropical storm in Japan. Grabbing his phone once more, Ben scrolled through his contacts, seeing who’d Thea would think as a _special person—_

He stopped on the one person who he knew would show up no matter what…but she _did_ say she had a work thing. For the last six months Rey had been working as an assistant to a website developer for an graphic design company, coming closer to becoming a project manager. Of course this meant she had less free time and was often coaxed or required to attend events in relation to the company. Office gatherings she had come to loathe during her time there. She had been invited to Thea’s dance recital and said she could _try_ to make it work.

Part of him felt awful for telling her about the situation, but if he knew Rey, she’d _jump_ at the opportunity to leave a party if it was an _emergency_ of sorts.

“Fuck it,” Ben mumbled, raising the phone to his ear. The dial tone rang out for a moment before Rey picked up. “Hey—so do you think you can make it back to Chandrilla by five-thirty?”

“Um—I’m in Expora, like three towns over,” Rey explained, a small sigh in her tone. Lowering her voice, she spoke again. “Why what happened?”

“Jyn cancelled.”

“ _Fuck_.”

“I know.”

“I told you not to tell Thea someone _special_ was coming,” she tsked in disappointment, “You just can’t trust Jyn to follow through with her line of work and track record.”

Ben rolled his eyes, pushing his hair out of his face. “Yeah, well I learned my lesson, but now I am in a shitty situation where my daughter is expecting someone to be here—”

“Say no more,” Rey declared, “I am about to lose my mind over this dinner thing I need to go to. I’ll say my niece is in the hospital or something—”

“Don’t say that, it’s like wishing bad on Thea!”

“ _Oh my god_ ,” she grumbled, “Fine! I’ll tell them my _dearest_ friend has a _literal_ stick up his ass, how about that?”

Ben gave an empty chuckle. “ _Charming_ , no wonder all the men are rushing to date you,” he remarked, before he saw his mother and Thea coming closer to main entrance from the glass doors. “See you in a few, love you, bye.” He quickly hung up, tucking his phone away before Thea crashed into him.

Hugging his legs tightly, the four year old smiled brightly up at him. “Hi!” she greeted cheerfully, loose hair falling from her ballerina bun he hastily pulled together on the top of her head that morning.

His mother tutted, as she brushed away Thea’s curls. “I swear, her hair is almost as bad as yours. I am going to need some industrial hairspray to get her hair down into a perfect bun.” She then raised an eyebrow. “Fixed your little problem?”

“Yup,” Ben nodded, “Nothing to worry about.”

Nothing to worry about if Rey was able to make it in time.

 

* * *

 

He checked his watch again.

Only five more minutes until the doors closed and the recital started.

And still no Rey.

Logically, Ben told himself to not be upset. He kind of put Rey on the spot, however willing she seemed to be. Initially she wanted to come to Thea’s recital, marking it on her calendar when the little girl babbled happily about her dancing one Saturday a couple of months back.

But she had a life outside of him and Thea; something his mother tried to remind him every time he’d get the slightest bit annoyed Rey spent less time with them.

 _“She’s a young woman with ambition. Son, she might be your friend, but she does not have any obligation towards your daughter_.”

And Ben _knew_ that. Yet his friendship with Rey kind of stemmed from her relationship with Thea. He never realized it until these last few months, she trying her best to make time for Thea, such as making to nearly every single one of their ‘playdates’. Thea called them ‘playdates’ when she spent time with Rey, claiming the young woman was her friend and not Ben’s.

Oddly enough, he was starting to believe his daughter.

Looking back on the last couple of years, he could only count on one hand the amount of times he and Rey actually spent time together without Thea or one of their friends.

Which was a little weird considering how often he saw the woman.

Checking is watch once more, Ben sighed.

_5:28pm_

Yeah…she wasn’t going to make it.

Just as he was about to head back into the building, he heard a sharp—“ _Ben_!”

Turning around, he watched her hurry down street, her high heels clutched in her free hand. With her hair usually up in three buns, he was surprised to see it loose and wavy, a little mused from her running.

“I’m here! I’m here!” she cried out, coming to a stuttering stop a couple of feet away from him. “Totally got a ticket speeding here, but I am here!” Her breath came out deep and scattered. She was dressed in a navy blue pleated skirt and a loose beige button-up blouse, clearly arriving from work, but she bizarrely made the ensemble appear casual for a preschoolers dance recital.

God, she ran here for a preschoolers dance recital—would it be wrong to find that _hot_?

“Goddamn, I am pretty sure I have three types of diseases now from running barefoot—”she struggled to put on her heels, using him as a balance. She sniffed under her arm pits, before turning to Ben, offering her part of her underarm for him to also take a whiff. “Do I smell to you?”

And nope. Not hot—definitely _not hot_ — ‘pretty girl’ was still Rey and her quirks.

His face fell as he pulled her along into the building. “No and we have less than a minute.”

They quickly rushed into the building and to the auditorium, Ben presenting their tickets just in time before the doors closed. Easily he found his mother and father sitting a few rows away from the front, two seats saved from him and Rey. With some stumbling and mutters apologies, they were able to sit down as the first performance began.

“Which group is she in again?” Rey asked quietly as a trio of high school girls performed a tap number.

Ben shared an deadpanned look with her. “The last one.”

“Of course, the preschoolers are in the _last_ group,” she grumbled, before facing forward. “Trying to seal everyone in their seat with their cuteness.”

After nearly twelve groups of varying skill and age—neither Ben or Rey wanted to even think of the poorly performed hip-hop number by the middle schoolers—the chime of the _Sugar Plum Fairy_ music filled the room before the lights went up on a group of seven little girls dressed in their soft pink tutus and hair piled in tight buns on their head. All the way at the end of the line was Thea, the smallest of the group but easily the best in the bunch. Her head was held high and her slightly clumsy steps more refined than the other girls, clearly determined to be the best at what she did.

Ben would not have expected any less.

As soon as the performance began, it was over, followed by bows and lights going up in the room. Families quickly tried to scramble to find their dancer out in the lobby, the Solos amongst them. About halfway through the agonizingly slow trek, a small girl was pushing and shoving her way through the milling crowd. It wasn’t until the little body crashing into Ben’s legs did he see it was his own daughter, smiling fully at him.

“Did you like it Daddy?” she cheered, not really listening to his answer, lost in her own euphoria.

“It was amazing!” he praised, picking her up so they would not hold the audience members attempting to get out. “Best Sugar Plum Fairy I have ever seen!”

She giggled in delight, her arms wrapped around his neck until she saw who was lingering behind him.

“Auntie Rey! You came!” Thea cried out, practically leaping from his arms into Rey’s. Well versed in this situation, she caught the girl and placed her on her hip with ease. The little ballerina began to speak rapid fire to Rey, only stopping once to wave at her grandma and grandpa, before barreling on through.

Glancing back at them, Ben bit down his smile at the sight.

Maybe Jyn didn’t come. But that did not mean someone special didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; I love discussing the fic with my readers! :D


	3. July 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it looks like this fic is just becoming my morning writing exercise where you all reap the benefits, hahaha.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy! :D

“Yes.”

“ _No_.”

Ben’s eyes snapped to Rey, astonished by her sharp disagreement. Meanwhile, Kaydel smiled in understanding, not at all offended by the matter.

“No worries, take some time to think about it. My little brother will be staying with me for most of the summer, so just let me know what day works for you.” The young woman departed politely, continuing on her way to her car.

Opening his mouth to speak, Rey turned on her heel and went back to the kids who were starting to wait impatiently on the sidewalk a few feet away, effectively cutting off any response from him.

So much for having a mature discussion.

 

* * *

 

“You know it is perfectly normal for a seven year old to go on overnight playdates, right? Especially with someone who is a close friend?”

In front of the bathroom sink, Rey raised an eyebrow. With a toothbrush in her mouth, she was unable to respond, much to Ben’s victory.

Stepping into the bathroom, he closed the door behind him to prevent any lingering ears from eavesdropping.  With Thea as his daughter, Ben learned to take all precautions. Quietly, he went to sit on the toilet seat and looked up at Rey with earnest understanding.

“Max and Toby have been friends for a couple of years and speak astronomy talk neither of us can comprehend,” Ben chuckled a bit, recalling how he found the boys talking rapid speed about spaghettification. He didn’t even know seven and eight year olds knew what spaghettification was, let alone argue about it. “It’s good he has someone his age he relates to or can hang out with, and not just us.”

She quickly finished brushing her teeth and rinsed her mouth before turning to Ben, her gaze cold yet fearful.

“Max is not ready for a sleepover,” she said simply, gathering her hair to the side. She began to twist the hair into a loose braid, Ben watching as she brought all her focus to her task. Distracting herself. “He still gets the usual nightmares, it will disrupt his nightly routine and then his morning routine, which will lead to a meltdown. And pray tell how will we handle a meltdown when he is in another person’s house?”

Ben looked down, clasping his hands together on his lap. “He hasn’t had a real meltdown in weeks and the last few have been at home.” He sighed before saying, “He is completely mainstream, he has been for the last year and Toby is one of the few kids—if not the only kid—he is social with, Rey. I think he can handle spending the night for _one_ night.”

She pressed her lips together, then shook her head. “My answer is still ‘no’.” She started to leave the bathroom and then halted turning back around to face him. “And just because Max is ‘mainstream’ and is doing well in school—which he has _always_ done—doesn’t mean the other hurdles aren’t there, Ben.”

“I’m not saying they are not there—”

“Well, it sure does sound like it, and I thought you would understand where I am coming from.”

Ben sat up straighter, watching her carefully, knowing she starting to get flustered. “I do understand where you are coming from, but I also understand Max is a _kid_ and not just his disorder, Rey.”

Her jaw tensed, a series of aggressive emotions passing through her. Rey then crossed her arms and took a seat on the edge of the tub. Glaring into the blue bath rug, she finally spoke. “I know my son is more than his disorder—I know that, but that does not mean—” she shook her head, chewing hard on her inner cheek, “that does not mean I can’t help but fear for him and want to protect him because not everyone understands he is more than the weird kid in class who likes to line up his crayons from darkest to lightest and doesn’t like playing with other kids or being touched. They just see the weird kid and don’t want to hang out with him—”

“Kaydel and Toby are not like that,” Ben reminded her gently, “Kaydel has know Max since he was a baby, she knows the situation and Toby still plays and hangs out with Max despite it all.”

He nudged her knee with his knee, Rey glancing at him briefly. He noticed her eyes pooling with unshed tears, realizing how difficult this decision was for her. Her tense back and shoulders reminded him she wasn’t in the mood to be physically comforted, so he resorted to his silence and patience.

“I just…” she paused, lifting her gaze to him, “I just don’t want my son to lose one of his only real friend because of a little sleepover that could go wrong.”

She released a shaky exhale, hot tears sliding over her cheeks. Hastily, she wiped them away with the back of her hand.

“Max is my baby—my very _lonely_ baby,” a water smile edged its way through her before vanishing all together, “and I told myself I would never, _ever_ let him feel the loneliness I felt and apparently the universe fucking hates me because I have a son I might not ever understand—”

“No one actually understands their kids, Rey,” Ben muttered, “We just know them very well to the point where we think we understand them, but we really don’t.” An annoyed groan came from the back of her throat, sounding something along the lines of ‘ _know-it-all’_ , but Ben continued on. “And Max is not lonely—”

“Yes, he is—"

“No, he is not,” Ben assured her, taking her hand into his own, “You— _you_ , not anyone else—made sure he is loved and loved unconditionally. You are the reason he is such a caring and loving boy, and doesn’t let anyone bring him down.” He squeezed her hand lightly, “Now you just need to trust him and let him try. If spending the night away goes well, then great. If it doesn’t, then we at least know right now is not the right time, but we can try again later.”

Licking her lips, she nodded slowly.

“Can I sleep on it?” she sniffed, leaning more into his touch.

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in the initial fic, some of you caught on to Max's little quirks. And this confirms, yes, he has autism though a little on the milder side as of right now. Though as someone who has first hand experience with a loved one on the spectrum, there is flux when it comes to severity over the years, which does sort of happen with Max. 
> 
> And talk of the first sleepover or major playdate is an important discussion, so I thought this would be a nice way to fully confirm the theory.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; I love discussing the fic with readers :D


	4. February 2019

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

_12:43AM_

The kids _should_ be asleep.

It was Tuesday, they both had school in the morning. Thea needed to get up early because of a group project, the girl going to bed shockingly early. For Max, Rey made sure he had all his blankets, his Porg stuffed animal, and his night light on.

The kids _should_ be tucked in tight—they had been since a quarter until ten.

So that meant Rey and Ben _should_ have time to themselves for _adult activities_.

Because _wow_ , had it been a while. More like almost _never_ happening.

Becoming a couple happened fast—extremely fast, almost zero transition time because apparently, they’d been acting more like a couple over the years than either realized.

Of course, they _tried_ to take it slow. Such as not moving into one bedroom and try the whole ‘dating each other’ thing people did before they decided ‘hey, let’s be exclusive’.

(Ben wasn’t too sure if people still said ‘exclusive’ on the dating scene. Neither did Rey. They googled it and still didn’t stumble upon the answer.)

Essentially for two whole days, the two attempted to be logical adults, taking account of the fact they had their children to think about, and their family and friends—

But then they decided that was _unbelievably_ stupid considering how much time they had danced around their emotions. Why were they going to go out to ‘get to know one another’ or try to place some boundaries when Ben already knew Rey drooled in her sleep and knew every single one of her fuck-ups in extreme detail because she is his best friend.

Overall, it was strange ground to walk on, but at least they could skip the awkwardness of starting a new relationship. The unsureness of ‘Does this person like me?’ or ‘Can I actually be in a relationship with this person?’. Rey and Ben already knew the answer.

_Yes, they like me for me, and yeah, I can’t imagine my life without them._

Emotionally and mentally in their relationship they were already eons ahead; practically old married couple status.

Their sex lives on the other hand had some catching up to do.

That was where the awkwardness set in and it had nothing to do with them or each other per say and it had all to do with…

A knock.

Well, it sounded like a knock. Neither were really paying attention. It could have been the heater kicking into its night cycle.

The door was locked—they were fine.

Leaning back against the pillows, Rey’s sigh morphed into a moan as soft, tantalizing lips trailed from her collarbone, to her chest, and agonizingly slow down her waist. She felt his hands hold and caress, meticulous in his teasing, knowing exactly how to make her delightfully shiver under his touch.

Ben mumbled against her skin. “The door—”

“Ignore it,” she closed her eyes, already loosing herself in the heat on his breath.

Another knock, followed by a series of insistent knocks.

Ben pulled back, sharing an apologetic look with her. “Rey—”

“ _I know_!” she hissed, slapping her hands over her face. “Just—just give me a moment and pass me a shirt or something,” she grumbled.

Quickly throwing on clothes, all while hearing a couple of more knocks, Rey rushed to the door—but not before checking to see if Ben was also properly clothed. Brushing away her hair, she opened the bedroom door and put on her best ‘concerned mother’ face—

To find Max in near tears.

“Buddy, what happened?” Rey asked, all former pretenses gone and replaced by genuine concern.

He sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. Glasses were skewed on his face and his Porg was clutched tightly to his chest.

“Scary dream and fell off my bed,” he said, his frown firmly intact.

She tried her best to be frantic. “You _fell_ off your bed?”

“I forgot I was on my bed.”

Briefly she closed her eyes, glad she decided to go with the lower bed, knowing Max’s depth perception was not the best. Opening her eyes, she smiled sadly down at her son.

“Come on in,” she said resignedly.

The little boy rushed into the room, climbing into the bed. He plopped himself in the center, curling into Ben’s side without prompting. From across the room, the parents shared a tired but understanding look.

Yup, they were going to have to be a tad more creative than waiting in the middle of the night.

 

 

“I mean it would be different if we were together forever—”

“We kind of have been together forever,” Ben mumbled into his coffee, squinting at the morning sun peaking higher. “But I know what you mean—it’s kind of hard to have sex for the first time with a partner when you know your kids are a door down.”

“Damn, we sound so pathetic planning when we are going to do it,” she rubbed her eyes tiredly, “People have sex all the time, Ben! We should be able to say— _yes, lets fuck now in this car_!” she declared heatedly, nearly spilling her coffee.

“Do you _want_ to fuck in this car?” Ben raised an eyebrow.

“God, no!” Rey huffed, slumping back in the seat. “I’m not sixteen sneaking around, and I really don’t want you to break something, you are a bit of a giant and I don’t think car insurance covers sex related accidents.”

“Yeah,” Ben chuckled, setting his coffee back into the cup holder, “that’s what I thought.”

 

 

And so the next _logical_ solution was to come back to the house during the day when the kids were at school. Rey would just take a half day, and Ben would cancel office hours for that next Wednesday. No big deal. Then there wouldn’t be any interruptions, at all, what-so-ever.

That is until Ben shows up at the house with Thea, who has dried _vomit_ on her shirt. In a frantic scurry, Rey hid anything that might be scarring for a thirteen year old. Which meant sloppily putting her blouse back on, missing a few buttons here and there, and tossing the fake reading glasses somewhere in the kitchen before Thea could put two and two together.

Ben had a sexy librarian kink, _okay_? And Rey didn’t think the thirteen year old would show up at all.

Rey’s eyes bounced back and forth between father and daughter, neither speaking.

Biting the bullet, she decided to ask, “What happened?”

Naturally, Thea combusted into tears, slumping dramatically on the couch.

“ _I threw up in class in front of everyone_!” A series of loud wailing sobs followed, Thea curling up into a ball on the couch. Concerned yet exasperated, Rey gently sat down beside the girl, rubbing soothing circles into her back. The wails did not stop, but the volume did decrease.

Ben closed his eyes, wincing at the sniffles and hiccups coming from Thea. Hands clenched, he looked up at Rey apologetically. “Science lab, blood type testing. She got sick at the sight of blood.”

“Ah, I see,” Rey patted the girl lightly. Thea peaked up glumly, her face blotchy. Tenderly, Rey wiped away the girl’s tears, the light mascara she was allowed to wear smudging under the careful care. With a sigh, Thea sat up and leaned into Rey’s arms.

Middle school wasn’t great for anyone, and Thea Solo was no exception. She wasn’t the best at making friends, always a smidge ahead of her peers and always a little _too_ blunt with her words. Throwing up in front of the entire class because of a little blood must have been exceedingly embarrassing for the dramatic girl.

Sitting on the other side of Thea, Ben nudged his daughter playfully. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I get sick when I see blood, too.”

Rey snorted, “Yeah, one time I fell—”

He shook his head adamantly, “Let’s not talk about—”

“—and I somehow cut my bicep—”

“It’s really not—”

“ _And blood was everywhere_!” she cackled, “And your dad fainted—”

“I wouldn’t call it fainting,” Ben muttered, “It was more like…I got a little dizzy and took a knee.”

Rey lowered her voice conspiratorially, “He fainted.”

Thea squinted at them, “When did this happen?”

He ruffled the top of her head, the thirteen year old squirming away. “You were a baby, not even a year old. I had to figure out how to get you settled and drive Rey to urgent care for stitches without passing out.”

“I could gone one my own,” Rey defended lightly, though a grateful smile on her lips told otherwise, “But your dad didn’t want me to go by myself.”

“That’s really sweet,” Thea complimented, turning to her dad with a proud grin.

“Eh, I’m alright sometimes,” he humbly joked.

Glancing between the two Thea frowned. “Wait, why are you both home in the middle of the day? Don’t you have work?”

Neither adult spoke, sharing a stretch of panic, before Ben chuckled awkwardly covering with an ill produced cough. “We—we just wanted to spend the afternoon together—”

An indignant gasp escaped Thea, the girl ripping herself away from them. Turning around furiously, she narrowed her eyes. “You two were going to have sex!”

Ben blanched. “Now Thea—”

“That’s so _gross_ —and in the living room! While Max and I are gone?!”

Not in the mood to handle this battle, Rey dropped her head tiredly into her hands.

Knowing Thea was going to play into her theatrics, Ben just shrugged. “Well, yeah. Rey and I are in a loving relationship and—”

“ _Lalalalalalala_!” she cried out, slapping her hands over her ears as she ran up to her room. “I can’t hear you!”

 

 

Needless to say their plan did not work and the two received scowls and disgusted looks from Thea for the rest of the day. Luckily her melodramatic response faded after a day or two, but both Rey and Ben knew they’d never hear the end of it if the girl somehow caught inkling of it again.

 

 

“You two just need to go on a vacation or something without the kids,” Leia unwelcoming suggested after dinner that Sunday. As second nature, Ben rolled his eyes, but did not completely discount the idea.

Over the last week, the couple became terse with each other. Snapping and bristling more than usual, tension coiling from the lack of their long overdue activities. To the point it was becoming noticeable to their family.

“Your father and I did it all the time when you were a kid, that’s why you spent weekends with Uncle Luke—”

“Oh god, I did _not_ need to know that!” Ben exasperated, nearly dropping the drink in his hand. Leave it to his mother to taint one of his few happy memories of his childhood.

“Son, I am just being honest,” Leia remarked dryly, pouring herself more wine, “If you and Rey want to—”

He cringed, dropping his chin down. “Don’t say it—”

“ _Fine_.” She bit out, sharing a conspiring wink with Rey. The woman could not help but shake her head fondly at Ben’s mother, knowing her to be just as stubborn—if not more—than her son. “If you and Rey want to do the… _hanky-panky_ ,” Ben’s teeth gritted at the phrase, “then you need to get clever and use and abuse your resources!”

“What ‘resources’?” he hissed back at her, “It’s not like we can just drop the kids off anywhere—”

An aggravated groan came from Leia, she leaning back in her chair smugly. “ _Oh I don’t know!”_ Leia said obnoxiously, the words clearly sarcastic as she eyed her son mockingly.  “I sure would _love_ to see my grandkids more, maybe have a little camp out in backyard, maybe make some s’mores—”

“Are you saying you’ll watch the kids for one weekend?” Rey interjected before Ben could object.

“I am saying I’d be willing to spend some quality time with my grandkids every other weekend,” she shrugged simply. “Do what you will that information.”

 

 

“But what if I don’t like camping?” Max asked as he watched his mother pack his last pajamas in his overnight bag. Porggy was clutched to his chest tightly. “Can I come home then?”

Suppressing any betraying frustration, Rey turned back to her boy. Her patience reinforced at the sight of his innocent hazel eyes blinking back at her, true concern shining from him. Sitting beside him, she brushed away his hair, able to see his face fully.

“Buddy, you’ve spent the night at Papa Han’s and Nana Leia’s before—what’s been bothering you, my guy?”

He slumped slightly on his bed, pressing the back of his porg on his face. Porggy was made was fuzzy-fabric material, Max becoming particular attached to the texture since he was an infant. Touching and holding the push toy soothed him, going everywhere with him besides school. Over the years Rey was able to replace Porgy once, along with buying at least six more stuff animals in panic after Porggy 1.0 succumbed to wear and tear.

With his face pressed in the porg, his glasses pushed up awkwardly in his forehead, Max mumbled, “ _I’m scared I’ll get a bad dream_.”

“A bad dream? If I may ask, what have these bad dreams been about?”

He shook his head ‘no’ vigorously.

“ _Okay_ ,” she drew out, thinking of another way to go about the situation.

As child she was also prone to nightmares, though she did not have a caring parent to soothe her cries or make her feel warm after waking up. Instead she had the quiet of the room, the moon, and the stars.

 

“You know what you can do if you get scared,” Max lifted his head slowly, his curiosity piqued. “You can look at the stars and find constellations—or just count as many as you can find.”

“And I can go to space in my dreams?” he asked quietly, wonder caught in his voice.

“Maybe,” she answered softly, pressing a warm kiss on the top of his head. “Now go get your jacket so we can go.”

Her son scurried along, grabbing his things and dashing down the stairs.

She sighed—one near crises averted.

 

 

“So what are you and Rey going to do, _hm_?” Thea asked as she and Ben started to walk to the car.

“Go an a date,” he answered curtly, opening the backseat door for her. “That is what adults in romantic relationships do—they go on _dates_.”

She stood by the door, flinging her backpack into the middle seat. Mischief shined in her eyes, the girl acting as though she were wiser and older beyond her thirteen years. “I just want to say—”

“ _Thea_ ,” he said warningly.

“—I hope you and Rey have a great time,” she finished with a far too sweet smile. “But I just want to say, I am not _too fond_ on the idea of another sibling—”

“In the car!” Ben order with a sputter.

Her lips turned sour, but she listened nonetheless. She climbed into the car with all the flourish of a stubborn and dramatic middle schooler. Ben mentally prayed it was a phase and she’d eventually mellow out.

“‘ _not too fond’,_ ” he repeated, puzzled at the wording. What type of thirteen year old girl said ‘not too fond’? He tapped the window, catching her attention.

She rolled down the window an inch, gleaming at him. “Yes?”

“Cut back on the BBC—you are starting to sound like them,” he said before heading back into the house.

“ _DOWWTON ABBEY_ IS A CULTURAL PHENOMINON!” she shouted out to his back, Ben shaking his head.

 

 

With quick goodbyes and a stern look from Thea, kids were dropped off with Ben’s parents, leaving Rey and Ben truly alone without the possibility of interruption. A giddy energy filled the car as they drove back to an _empty_ house, thinking of how they could do whatever they wanted.

Anything—

Which led them eating greasy food, sitting on the couch, and finally finishing _American Horror Story: Apocalypse_.

“What the fuck ending was that!” Rey cried out, spilling popcorn across the coffee table. “He should have fucking lived!”

Okay—so they did plan on having an _intimate_ , _romantic_ and _sexy_ night. That was the _plan_. But the feeling of just having the house to themselves, eating the expensive pizza out for delivery—thin crust, Brooklyn style—and having it all to themselves. Not to mention finally fucking finishing _American Horror Story_?

Well, that was too tempting on its own.

“Perfect redemption arc opportunity, wasted,” Ben sighed sadly, brushing off the popcorn from his lap.

Rey whiled to him wide eyes, folding herself back beside him, “ _Right_? I would have made a redemption arc happen!”

“I know _you_ would,” he rolled his eyes playfully, his hand reaching brush away the loose hair in her face. “Because you like to see the good in people, even when it hurts.”

She caught his wrist in her hand, her thumb rubbing circles into his skin. “That’s an oddly sentimental thing to say,” she peaked up at him through her lashes.

“Well, you make me oddly sentimental,” he remarked, dropping to press a kiss against her temple. His lips lingered, slowly pecking his way down to the curve of her neck. She squirmed delightfully at the touch, pulling him closer.

“And that was unbelievably cheesy—but I’ll take it,” she said between breathy chuckles.

Ben hummed against her skin in agreement, before leaning in for a warm, urgent kiss. Easily, she fell into his embrace, for once her mind on nothing else but him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you are a usual reader of mine, you know I don't write smut, and if you are a new reader, well now you know. But that does not mean the topic of sex and its importance in a relationship does not appear in my fics, as you can see in this chapter. I have humorous or sentimental ways of going about it, and this was kind of a manifestation of both.
> 
> I am not entirely happy with this chapter, but I have been sitting with it for awhile and thought I should just post it since I have other chapters partially written for this :)
> 
> Also side note-- several children on the autism spectrum have difficulty with depth perception, especially when they sleep. Sometimes they don't quite develop that unconscious awareness which leads to falling off the bed, and they won't realize they fell off until they wake up. So some have lower beds or railings to help them :)
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	5. November 2012

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So everyone has been asking for pregnant Rey, and here you go!
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy!

“ _Bed rest_?” Rey echoed the doctor, squinting harshly at her.

The lilac haired woman smiled pleasantly, marking down a few notes. She glanced back up at Rey, sympathy shinning in her eyes. Rey hated it when her OB/GYN gave her such a look.

While Dr. Amilyn Holdo was an excellent doctor, who worked hard for her patients and carried around a serene disposition, Rey despised her with every fiber of her being. All these check-ups and tests just to come to the resolution she was basically incapacitated until further notice…it put Rey _on edge_.

Not to mention she was friends with Solos which made everything ten times more difficult.

“Yes,” Dr. Holdo stressed, reviewing Rey’s file and test results. “Due to your Endometriosis, you can have a premature birth. This is us merely taking precaution. We need that little guy in there for as long as he needs to be.”

“I _can’t_ do bed rest,” Rey declared, “I do not have the—the _mental capacity_ to do ‘bed rest’.”

She had work and _somewhat_ of life. Sure, things have been different since moved out on her own—something Ben wasn’t too happy about—and it wasn’t like she had many friends in the area with Poe and Finn off living the married couple life. But that did not mean she did not have a life or liked to go out occasionally… mostly just to go to the movies and cry, and eat a bucket of popcorn. She was _really_ liking movie theatre popcorn, once specifically asking Ben to bring her back some when she heard he and Thea went to see _Wreck-It-Ralph_.

Dr. Holdo remained placid. “I think you do have the ‘mental capacity’ as you say. Especially if you want your baby to be okay.” She patted Rey’s arm as she stood, her next words sincere. “I know you are living alone right now, but I really think you need someone around, or to stop by just to check on you. It’s okay to need help, Rey.”

 

* * *

 

Ben busted into laughter at the news.

Rey glared hard at him, squeezing her paper cup to the point the lid almost popped off. They met for lunch at a cafe a few blocks away from the doctors office. Ben was already there waiting for her as he usually did when she had her appointments.

He went with her to the first appointment as moral support. Held her hand the entire time, reminding her to the point of annoyance how she wasn’t alone, he’d help her with anything, how his family is her family—the list could go on. It wasn’t until she excused herself to the restroom did she decided to go to the rest of her appointments by herself. While she’d been in the restroom, a few of the other women commented in passing how sweet and caring her ‘significant other’ was. One even remarked how cute the baby would be with _her and Ben_ as the _parents_.

She needed to throw up for something other than morning sickness after that encounter.

If he was offended by her request to go alone from that point, he never let it show. Instead, they agreed to simply meet after her appointments for lunch. Mostly for Rey to rant and for Ben to make sure she was actually _okay_ and not get a passive aggressive text message that she was ‘okay’.

“Oh— _you’re serious_?” He sputtered, schooling his expression. “I thought this was one of your self-deprecating pregnancy jokes. She really wants you to go on bed rest?” Rey nodded shrewdly. “She does know you are the same person who had her appendix removed and still tried to go into work the next day, right?”

She decided to ignore him, chewing her hot sandwich moodily. The same chicken and avocado panini she ate every time because Ben liked to ask the cooks and manager a thousand questions on how the food was prepared because she could only eat certain things and most smells made her nauseous. To save the staff the pain of Ben’s paranoia, Rey ordered the same things every time and made a mental tally of what she would order once the damn baby was out in the world and Rey can finally only eat for herself.

“So what are going to do?” He asked, picking up his coffee. Rey eyed him with envy before drinking her water with a pout.

“Go on bed rest,” she answered, raising an eyebrow.

Ben rolled his eyes. “I know that. I meant what are you going to do with the fact you live on your own—”

“Oh god, now you sound like Dr. Holdo,” she grumbled, dropping her food back on her plate petulantly. “I think I can get around this whole bed rest thing. I’ll just sit and keep everything within a few feet—”

“What about using the restroom? Hmm?” Ben argued, “Or making food—”

“I am pregnant, not incapacitated!” she huffed.

“Yeah, well you are now to a degree,” he said sharply. A few people looked their way, Ben taking notice. Lowering his voice, he continued, “What did she say about the bed rest?”

She pursed her lips. “I need to be off my feet, not carry or lift anything remotely heavy, and not to leave my apartment for anything other than the doctor appointments—”

“Rey! You should not be driving back to work, let alone here—”

“Stop being melodramatic.”

“Stop not taking this seriously,” he shot back.

Momentarily stunned, Rey clamped her mouth shut. Searching her mind for something witty or stubborn to spout out, she fell short. Part of her wanted to yell back and bicker with him, mostly out of instinct, but the logical part of her knew he wasn’t wrong.

Her pregnancy had not been pretty or blissful or whatever other garbage mothers twittered on about. She did not feel like she was fulfilling a life long dream or purpose, nor did she feel a deep connection with her child. If anything she got annoyed with the twerp because he would not let her damn sleep at night. She had morning sickness far longer than most and it was starting to come back into full swing in her last trimester. Her pregnancy brain made her forgetful, leaving her apartment more than a few times without her purse and keys…and missing a major deadline at work because of fatigue and sleepiness. Not to mention the anxiety—

Rey could care for herself. She’d been caring for herself since she could remember. Throw a kid into the mix? That seemed a little too much.

Ben argued she’d be _fine_ , claiming Thea to be basically a practice run for her. But he did not see how it was different. Because Ben was Ben, who was thorough and paranoid to the point you could trust he knew everything he needed to know when it came to caring for his daughter.

Rey on the other hand…she still needed to remind herself she could not drink alcohol during pregnancy.

“I am…trying my best,” she said unconvincingly.

“I know your best Rey, even through hell I know your best…and,” he took a shaky breath, “this is _not_ your best.” Pressing his lips together, he considered her for a moment. His eyes searched hers, apparently finding his answer within their shared gaze. “Do you not want the baby?”

She didn’t answer.

Instead she picked up her food and resumed eating.

 

* * *

 

“ _BOO_!” Rey cried out, _The Bachelor_ playing on her television. “You should have fucking gave the rose to the other woman!” The scene did not listen to her as she watched the rest of the program. Sneering, Rey picked up the remote and changed the channel to ABC Family _, Beauty and the Beast_ playing. With a pout, she watched Belle and Beast glide across the ballroom. “Now _this guy_ knows how to give his roses out.”

Fluffing her quilted blanket out, Rey burrowed deeper into her spot, only to wince have a second later. The baby’s leg _apparently_ liked to kick near the ribs. Frowning, Rey grabbed the extra pillow beside her and stuffed it between her and the back cushion.

Satisfied, she watched the film once more. Though this did not last long as her lunch with Ben continued to loom in her mind.

He wasn’t surprised when she effectively dropped the subject. In fact he had the decency to move to a better topic—Thea getting a dance solo for the recital in a few months.

“Why is it I can be excited for someone else’s kid but I don’t feel like that with you?” Rey asked, looking down at her swelled bump. She sighed, reaching for the semi-melted ice cream bucket beside her. “Eh, but Thea is my girl. She and I are tight like koalas because, you know, they hang tight to the tree branches?”

She paused as she picked up her spoon.

“Of course you _don’t_ know that,” she mentally scolded herself, “being all incubated in there.” She dug right back into the ice cream she abandoned. “It’s not that I don’t want you,” she mumbled, not sure if she believed in the whole ‘the baby can hear you thing’. “I just don’t _want_ you.”

Not feeling the need to continue the conversation with her bump, she focused back on the film. “Go get your Beast, Belle,” she cheered on quietly.

At some point she fell asleep, not quite remembering watching the end of the film. The sound of the front door’s lock twisting open roused her from her slumber. Only two other people had a key to her apartment, Finn—who was in another state—and Ben.

But vaguely remembering this did not quell her surprise.

Squinting at the door a couple of feet away, she frowned when Ben entered with a sleeping Thea in _Avengers_ pajamas slumped against his shoulder, held by his right arm.

“What are you—” He shook his head, nodding to Thea. Carefully, he shut the door behind him and carried the sleeping girl to Rey’s bedroom. It must have been late, later than Rey thought because Thea was out like a light, not waking or moving around once during her travel. That was the nice thing about Thea, she could fall sleep instantly and not be woken up until she so pleased. It was also hell in the morning, the girl refusing to get up.

Once he came back, he answered her cut off question. “I am not comfortable with you being alone all the time.”

She huffed, rolling her eyes. “Ben—” she pleaded. However, he was adamant.

“Just hear me out,” he asked, taking a seat next to her on the sofa. He stared at her straight on, a stern lock in his jaw while his eyes continued to latch on to her with unbridled concern. “As your best friend—”

“Which is currently out for debate—”

He ignored her comment, accustom to the deflecting technique. She often did that, claim their friendship was out for the verdict when in actuality he was the person she was closest to. Undoubtedly, Ben could say the same about her.

“As your best friend, I care about you, Rey and I care about the baby, and I want both of you to be okay.”

“I know,” she said quietly, not finding it easy to be sentimental at the moment. Her hormones were hoping all over, tired and stressed at one moment, excited and joyful the next.

“That’s why I think we need to do something about this,” he then finally said what he had been leading up to, “I talked to my parents and they want to help.”

“You _what_?” she blinked dumbly at him. “What do you mean you talked to your parents?”

“I mean, I talked to them about what happened and they want you to move in, at least temporarily,” Ben explained, “until the baby comes.”

Her eyes widened, Rey not too sure if she was grateful or furious. Maybe both.

Before she could respond or articulate how she felt beyond ‘ _what the fuck, Ben?_ ’, he hastily continued.

“I had to because you were never going to ask for help from anyone and you need help even if you don’t want to admit it.” His brown eyes bore into hers, begging her to understand. To more so understand where he was coming from.

_Damn him._

Meddling in her business that somehow became his business. And damn him because he was right. She couldn’t do this alone no matter how stubborn she was about the matter. She told herself the moment she decided to keep the baby (and after a chaotic meltdown) she’d be strong enough to do this on her own. After all, she’d done everything on her own. Of course Ben offered his support and she knew she had him to lean on, but somewhere in the depths of her mind she scolded herself for even _thinking_ relying on him was an option.

People—friends and family—left all the time. If that weren’t the case, her parents would have came back to her. Would have tried to at least contact her years later. That was the cycle of life; people left, and you had to move on or better yet, not invest too much of yourself in them. Clearly she failed with a few named individuals, such as Finn, Poe, Ben and Thea but those relationships did not override the instinct she ingrained in herself over the years.

Carefully, Ben took her hand in his own, holding with steady care like he always did. Warm and sure, it was one of the few things Rey could name in her life as a constant. “I know you don’t like asking for help—for reasons we don’t have to get into,” he assured her, his thumb rubbing the back of her hand soothingly, “But I need you to understand people care about you, and want to help without anything in return,” he spoke tenderly, Rey hearing the sincerity of his words with every syllable. “Because whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with us Solos.”

Feeling tears well in her eyes, Rey uttered mid-sob, “ _Fuck you_ ,” and threw her arms around Ben. She felt him freeze for a moment, before his comforting hands rested on her back. Enveloped by his arms, she let her cries run freely. Muffled by his chest, she lifted her head slightly in order to speak. “I’m…I’m sorry if I scared you early about not wanting the baby thing—”

“Rey—”

“No, I need to apologize, just for my sake,” she insisted, shifting so she was more so leaning against him rather than clutching him for dear life. “I shouldn’t have said that, but I just fucking hate this,” she waved down to her protruding baby bump, “being pregnant and all that comes with it. I am sure I’m going to love the little guy, but right now I positively despise having children,” she admitted freely, finally feeling she could speak openly about how she felt now that it was just her and Ben in private. “Hell, children were never part of the plan!”

“And what was the plan?” Ben asked bluntly, though Rey saw the corners of mouth twitch up teasingly.

She shrugged with a sigh. “I don’t know, be happy, have a job, maybe fall in love if the great deities declare it so,” she said with an eyeroll, “But being pregnant and having a baby were not part of this vague plan for my life.”

Ben snorted, staring down at her with placid compassion. “How about this? If you really don’t want to, you never have to go through this again.”

Rey yawned, fluffing out her blanket. “I am holding you to that. Get it stitched on a pillow or something so I can have it as a reminder.”

His chuckle sounded distant as she began to doze again, allowing herself to be cared for once in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So slight rant time-- most of the fics (not all) I have read with Rey being pregnant had a combination of these things: she is happy to be having a child, bonds with it, always wanted a family, has slight fear but overcomes it etc. essentially a bit more blissful than the experience would be. Basically, I did the usual me thing and tried my best to go against the norm, hahaha.
> 
> Personally, I think she'd want a family ~eventually~ but she'd hate being pregnant because she'd have to rely on others. Which is an awful time for fiercely independent women. 
> 
> This Rey genuinely hates this time in her life and will probably never be pregnant again after Max. Yes, as of right now, I am not planning on her and Ben having biological children together. Go ahead throw the tomatoes and pitchforks, I'll take it. It might change if I find good reason within these snapshots. Also this DOES NOT mean they won't have children together at all whatsoever, just maybe not biological.
> 
> BTW, I do have the snapshot of Rey finding out she is pregnant written. I am just holding on to it a little bit longer until I decide it is the right time to post it. Mostly because I think we need to explore Rey and Ben's friendship a bit more until we see that moment.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated :D Love discussing fic with readers!
> 
> follow me @intpslytherin97


	6. December 2019 Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this little snapshot will have three parts, this is just the beginning and will probably be the shortest out of the three. 
> 
> Also, I looked over the timeline again in the fic and I put the wrong month for the previous chapter, so I fixed that.
> 
> Anyways, typos will be fixed later! 
> 
> ENJOY :D

“Thea, turn down the Christmas music!” Rey called up the stairs as she came down with a basket of dirty laundry.

“ _IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOU ARE NOT JOLLY FOR THE SEASON!”_ the girl cried out from her room, the music becoming ever so slightly louder. The combination of Thea’s off-key singing and the overplay of Sia’s _Santa’s Coming for Us_ and Wham!’s _Last Christmas_ caused tensions to rise between the two, Rey not particularly one for the Christmas spirit.

“Well, it is only December 7th! I’d like to not drown in the sounds of Santa and bells before the twenty-fifth!” Rey argued, coming down the rest of the stairs, heading straight for the laundry room.

As she passed by the kitchen, Ben sent her a sympathetic glance—one she did not return. He would have followed her out, but his hands were deep in cookie dough and he had lunch in the oven. Not to mention she’d probably prefer to be alone at the moment.

For the last week and half she’d been on edge with Max’s IEP assessment meeting looming. Both a good and bad thing. Good because it would tell them where Max was with his individualized educational goals. Bad because they would suddenly see in clarity the places he still needed help with. His behavioral therapist was coming over later in the week for their usual bi-monthly meeting. Another situation that caused Rey to stress; one of Max’s medical assessments before the school year started came back indicating while highly intelligent, he still struggle to communicate and was becoming recluse due to sensory overload. Which meant more outbursts and everyone’s patience being tested.

Ben tried his best to be a support for Rey, but more often than not she would shut him out over the matter. Eventually she’d come around, like she always did, but the lack of open communication on the matter caused uncomfortable tension between the two.

Overall, Ben just wanted the week to go smoothly without too many hiccups or Rey would quickly lose her remaining cool.

Needing the dough to make sure all the chocolate chips were mixed well, Ben heard the doorbell ring. He froze, his hands still covered in sticky dough and oil, unable to answer.

“Thea!” Ben rolled his eyes at his futile attempt, realizing she wouldn’t hear him over the music. “Rey!” He tried for his partner, the woman not responding. “ _Anyone really_!”

“I can!” Max suddenly pipped up, looking up from his book and his noise-cancelling headphone chucked off.

“What? No, Max you’re not supposed to answer the—”

The five year old boy hopped off the couch and dash to the door before Ben could finish. Huffing, Ben poorly wiped his hands and ran after the boy.

Just as he caught up to him, Max opened the door. Hastily, he side stepped the boy, putting some distance between him and front door.

“Max, you aren’t supposed to—”

“Ben!” a British voice greeted.

Lifting his gaze from the child to the guest, Ben blanched. Slightly tanned and large hiking backpack slung on her back was the mother of his child.

“ _Jyn_?”

Face scrunching up, Max tugged on Ben’s pant leg and whispered rather loudly, “Who is she?”

Jyn frowned at the comment, though she recovered quickly. “Ah, you must be Maximus. I haven’t seen you since you were a baby.”

“I’m not a baby,” he stated matter-of-factly, chin held high.

She chuckled lightly, amused by him and his sweet face, “Oh I know, I was just saying that was the last time I saw you—”

“I don’t like you,” Max said simply before running off back into the house, leaving Jyn jaw slacked.

Blinking dumbly, she looked back at Ben, expecting him to do something about the matter. Once upon a time her piercing blue eyes would will him to do anything, partially because he feared for his life and he was slightly turned on by the look.

It would take him a few years after his relationship with Jyn to realize he only really liked that look because it kind of reminded him how fierce and intimidating Rey would be when she was upset with him. After some thought and retrospect, Ben came to conclusion the majority of the reason he liked Jyn in the first place was because she reminded him of Rey—which was whole box of issues Ben still wasn’t prepared to open just yet.

Now he was just awkward around Jyn, not really _hating_ her but also not necessarily _fond_ of her.

Unable to find the words, mostly because he was still stunned Jyn was actually standing there in the flesh after five years of inconsistent contact.

“He…is not great with people,” Ben settled on saying, earning a quirk of an eyebrow. Nodding once she accepted the excuse.

“Babysitting?” Jyn asked edging her way into the house without waiting for an invitation. She easily strolled into the house like she owned the place, dropping her backpack down by the couch.

“Uh, not exactly,” Ben uttered, a cold realization hitting him at her question. Jyn didn’t know about him and Rey. She didn’t know at all because she was off saving the rainforest or something. It was difficult to keep up with her updates because sometimes he’d get a postcard for Malaysia and then one from Jamaica, to only realize the Jamaica postcard was _older_.  She usually called on Thea’s birthday, but she effectively missed the last two by a solid week. To keep Jyn in the loop about _anything_ was futile. “You see Rey and I—”

“Babe, I can’t find the stain remover. Did you put it back after you used—” Her words came to halt as she entered the living area. Her eyes widen, bouncing between the two, confusion etched on her features. She made eye contact with Ben, noticing how helpless he appeared. Sensing this she tried her best to sound pleasant. “Uh—Hi, Jyn! What—what are you doing here?” she asked.

“I came for a much overdue visit,” she answered a coy smile forming on her lips. Glancing between the two with a knowing look, she giggled as the situation dawned on her. “Wait a minute—are you two,” she gestured crudely with her hands as though to indicate sex. Ben had to refrain an eyeroll, while Rey had no restrictions and rolled her eyes as she pleased. “ _Together_?”

A series of nods and yes’s followed, Ben mortified by Jyn’s childishness about the matter and Rey simply not liking the encounter all together. Ben suddenly felt he was in college again—Jyn making herself at home in the apartment and Rey rolling and scoffing at every other word that came from the other woman’s mouth.

Rey and Jyn…were _not_ friends for a number of reasons despite the latter’s best efforts. Rey just never seemed to like her, even in college when they were mere acquaintances by association. This distaste for Jyn only seemed to intensify when Ben was left to raise Thea on his own. Of course, Jyn noticed this but she never let it deter her efforts to become the best of friends with Rey.

Jyn appeared pleased with herself, plopping down on the couch with a satisfied smirk. “I would just like to say I called _this_ ,” she waved to the two of them, Rey bristling at the gesture, “years ago. I mean, Ben has _always_ had a crush on you—”

“Jyn!” Ben said frantically, he room suddenly feeling warm. Coughing into his shoulder, he turned back to her with a strained smile. “Where are you staying? How long are you even going to be around?” he asked, cutting to the chase.

Humming in thought, she shrugged. “I think I am going to stay until the winter holidays are over. You know, maybe finally have a Christmas with Theodora.”

Both Ben and Rey winced at the use of Thea’s full name, not quite use to hearing it. The girl had been called Thea her entire life. Neither were sure she’d even _respond_ to her given name if called.

“And where are you staying?” Rey asked again, hoping it would not be the answer she feared.

“Why, here of course!” She chuckled, “Why would I go anywhere else when I can spend so much lost time with all of you?”

 

* * *

 

“I want her fucking _gone_ ,” Rey declared the moment she and Ben were alone. Which was unfortunately in the laundry room, the washer humming and thrumming loudly beside them.

“You think I don’t want her gone too?” Ben chewed harshly on the inside of his cheek. “She’s going to do the thing she always does—try to get close to Thea, get to know her, but then get frustrated and leave without a word, leaving me to pick up the pieces.”

“I know,” she agreed wholeheartedly. “And I don’t want either of you to go through that. Thea _especially_ does not need to go through that.”

“But I can’t just kick her out,” Ben argued dejectedly.

Rey pursed her lips, shaking her head. “Of course you can. It’s simple. Just say, ‘Hey, Jyn—get the fuck out of my house before you break my daughters fragile teen heart!’” she said vehemently, face reddening at the words.

“Okay,” Ben said slowly, not expecting her react like in such a way. “Alright, um, I’ll say something like similar just with a little less profanity and you know _anger_.”

Coming to terms with the plan, Ben and Rey left the laundry room on a mission.

Only to have it fall apart at the seams when they entered the living room.

“You guys, Mom’s here! And she is going to have sleep over with me tonight!” Thea cried out joyfully. She wrapped her birth mother, smiling brightly at the woman. Jyn smiled smugly at them, before squeezing her daughter happily.

“Well, shit,” was all Ben could say, Rey already leaving the room for a much a needed scream in a pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, we finally get to meet Jyn. And nobody completely hate her. She is not entirely bad, but that doesn't mean Rey does not hate her, lol.
> 
> Also, IEP stands for Individualized Education Program and it is for children with special needs; specifically it determines if a child is seen as special needs in the eyes of the federal government beyond the medical diagnosis. It also includes goals the child must reach both educationally and social in school. Many families with those on the spectrum try their best to have both in order to have the proper support and aid for their child in education. And this is mostly my general understanding of it through personal experience, so I can totally be wrong about certain aspects, but I am trying my best to research properly and have accurate information :) And it does happen where a child on the spectrum needs to return to ABA therapy (Applied Behavioral Analysis) as they become older because certain part of their life and education are changing. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; I love discussing the fic with readers :D


	7. December 2019 Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this might be expanding to four sections, just because there is a part I debating on including in this snapshot.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Ah, there are my favorite customers,” Luke greeted as Rey entered his bookstore and coffee bar. He frowned when he realized it was just her. “Or one of my favorite customers—where is your mini me?”

Rey rolled her eyes, taking a seat at her and Thea’s usual Tuesday evening table. “You mean Thea? _Out_.”

Sensing her disdain, Luke strolled from around the counter and sat across from her. Very few customers came in during the evenings, Rey and Thea making a habit to spend some time with each other and read some of their favorite books. And Tuesdays were the perfect time—Ben with his night class and Max spending time ‘star hunting’ with Grandpa Han, it left the girls off to their own little outing. It was simple and nice, and usually it was one of the few times where it was just Rey and Thea, like old times.

“Out? Where could she have gone?” Luke asked with a  chuckle.

“Jyn,” Rey spat, unable to hide her distaste for the woman.

“She’s _still_ here? Hasn’t it almost been a week?” he said in understanding. Everyone in the Solo family had a sense of contempt against the women, no one ever truly getting along, not to mention no one thought the two would have a long standing relationship (they didn’t) let alone have a child together (sad to say, but Thea was absolutely an accident).

“No, almost four days, but it feels like an eternity.”

If there was one thing Jyn knew how to do, it was make herself at home in any adobe. Her belongings were finding their way into every little corner of the house. Little Buddhas clustered in random places, like the kitchen counter or entry table, Rey and Ben accidentally knocking them over when they weren’t paying attention. Her bright scarfs were finding themselves draped over all the chairs, Jyn removing the accessory every time she entered the house and never putting it back with her belongings.

Of course there was also the burning on incense and essential oils in the house. While Rey was all for the use of essential oils and their beneficial health properties, Ben was also allergic to strong floral scents. He practically locked himself up in their bedroom when he caught a whiff of the smell, cursing up a storm behind closed doors. Yet he still refrained from kicking the woman out because Thea and her were _bonding_.

Rey rolled her eyes at the thought. Was it really bonding if the woman chatted nonstop about her _adventures_ and never took the time to listen to Thea?

Last but not least, Max _loathed_ the woman. With all his heart because they had to share a bathroom space.

In the downstairs bathroom Jyn exotic toiletries littered the counter space, Max shoving them off every morning because they got in the way of his morning routine. Jyn tried to laugh it off, but Rey could see right through her fake smile.

Tensions were growing and all Rey and Ben could do was smile and bare the pain.

“Damn, wish I had alcohol,” Luke said stunned.

“Don’t we all,” Rey grumbled, pulling her book from her purse. “And on top of it all, she is adamant about staying with us! Decided to swoop right in and be all chummy-chummy with Thea. They had _another_ ‘sleepover’ last night.”

Music, movies, and chit-chatting could be heard from the room until the late hour. Rey nearly went charging into the room when the hour was nearing two in the morning and Thea was still up. Ben had to physically hold her back from unleashing petty wrath upon Jyn. Despite being thirteen and allowed to stay up a little later, Thea needed her sleep or she’d be grumpy the next day or oversleep. And no one wanted to interact with a sleep deprived Thea.

Naturally, Luke cringed at the news.

“Thea and I use to do the whole sleepover thing all time before,” she waved her hands vaguely to herself, “well, before me and Ben were together.”

A panicked part of Rey fleetingly believed her and Ben starting a romantic relationship hindered the friendship she had with Thea. As though knowing Rey and Ben were together caused a block for Thea. Logically Rey knew that was not the case, but insecurities found a way to wiggle themselves into her mind. After all, this was a major change for all of them despite her and Ben’s relationship being a welcomed change. Adjusting took time. Furthermore, Thea was their biggest cheerleader—she was the one to give the push and shove. Thinking Thea wasn’t happy or didn’t like her was… _absurd_.

Looking up from her fiddling hands to Luke, Rey waited for some words of wisdom. Whether it would be helpful doses of wisdom would be up for debate, the older man tried.

However, it appeared the man was in deep thought over the matter. “Rey—the _novelty_ of Jyn being around will wear off soon. And I am saying this as someone who’s father was absent for most of his childhood,” Luke said, his empathy shinning through, “Just because Jyn is Thea’s biological mother, does not mean she _is_ a mother. You’ve been more of a mother to that silly, brilliant little girl than any other woman. Just remember that.”

Feeling her eyes prickle with unshed tears, Rey nodded mutely. Luke was right, even if Rey’s doubts liked to cloud her judgement.

Knocking against the table, Luke stood up. “Alright, I’ll make you your usual on the house!”

“It’s _always_ on the house,” Rey teased with a croak in her throat. Maybe Thea was missing Sunday outing to Luke’s, but that did not mean she needed to spiral into unnecessary worries.

She could still read her book, have her frilly coffee, and get her mind off everything.

 _A nice mental break_. That’s what she needed.

 

* * *

 

“So Theodora, tell me what’s going on. What’s new?” Jyn asked conversationally as the two walked about the mall.

She convinced the girl to have a day out with her to allow them to catch up, Thea agreeing excitedly. They hadn’t been able to see much of each other over the last week, Thea going to school and Jyn off roaming the city. Something neither of Thea’s parents were too fond about since Jyn would come in later in the night, nearly causing the house alarm to go off more than once.

And then Max would wake up from the piercing sound, which would then lead to one of her parents having to camp out in his room until he was lulled back to sleep.

Some good ole shopping could help them bond, as their sleepovers seemed to be more about Jyn’s adventures rather Thea’s life. The girl tried to convince herself she was okay with this; after all, Jyn traveled and experience life beyond the States and confines of the average home. Objectively, a teenagers life wasn’t as exciting.

“Oh nothing much,” the girl shrugged, not too sure where to start. Sadly, she barely remembered the last time her mother visited. It had been sometime when Max was a baby, and then she’d only been there for a day or two before leaving.

Jyn frowned at her lack of enthusiasm.

Hoping to make up for it, Thea smiled brightly. “I mean, there is…just _so much_ to talk about!” Her forced laugh wasn’t noticed by Jyn, who’s mood considerably improved at her response. Encouraged by this, Thea continued. “I am in eighth grade, so I promote to high school in the spring.”

“Wow, high school!” Jyn repeated loudly as she and Thea rounded the corner to the pretzel stand. “I didn’t think you’d be old enough to go to high school,” she said with a bit of astonishment.

Thea chewed the inside of her check at the comment. Jyn had been doing that quite a bit—remarking about how much time had passed, how old Thea had become, how she _shouldn’t_ be growing so fast. The girl found it odd how these words got caught under her skin.

 For her, time hadn’t ‘gone by fast’, instead it felt normal.

“That just means I am just going to have to get a new picture of you to put in my wallet,” Jyn declared as they joined the line at _Pretzel Wetzel_. “The picture of you at your dance recital is a little old.”

“Which dance recital?” Thea asked, holding her tongue back. If she recalled correctly, Jyn had never gone to one of her recitals. Never made promises to attend any either, always saying she was proud in their few and far between phone calls, but she could not remember if Jyn had even seen her dance.

“The one with the sugar plum fairies, I think?” Jyn said offhandedly. She pulled out her wallet from her purse as they stepped closer to the register. Opening her wallet, she handed the old photo to Thea. “See.”

Taking the picture, Thea felt her stomach drop. She must have been four or five at the time, all her baby teeth intact and her face chubby with baby fat. It was the solo photos all the kids at the dance school had to take during dress rehearsals. Her dad ordered at least three dozen to share with everyone. Even his co-workers who’d still constantly call her the ‘Little Sugar Plum Fairy Girl’. Ben Solo was proud of his daughter in every little thing she’d do and he wanted to world to know.

While occasionally embarrassing, Rey explained that’s how Dad showed his love and to be happy he expressed it so freely. Thea learned to accept this about her father, use to seeing the photo in the home of every single person she knew because apparently people were sentimental like that.

But to see her… _mother_ with the photo, this the only photo she kept with her after all this time…

“Um, I’m not feeling well. I think I am going to go to the restroom,” Thea mumbled quickly, handing the photo back. The room suddenly felt too hot and too bright, she needed to get out of there quickly.

Jyn barely heard her before the girl dashed off in a hurry.

 

* * *

 

“I think I will have another latte,” Rey declared as she finished her third cup.

Picking up her empty mug, Luke squinted at her. “Aren’t you slightly lactose intolerant?”

“It’s called living on the edge, Luke. Got to squeeze danger in somewhere.”

“Alright,” he said with sighed, heading back to the counter. “Didn’t know you were a Rainbow Rowell fan. Seems more Thea’s wheelhouse,” he commented.

Rey turned the page, eyes scanning the quirky romance novel. “Technically we are reading _Attachments_ together, but you know what, I don’t think she understands at least half of these nineties references—”

Just then her cell phone began buzz against the counter top. Picking it up, she frowned at the unknown number. Going against her best judgement, she decided to answer.

“Hello—”

“Rey?” Jyn’s voice came through the speaker, frantic. “ _I-I can’t find Thea._ She ran off and I looked in the restroom and she is not there—”

“Have you tried calling her?” she asked effectively cutting off the other woman’s hysterical rambles. Her body going into autopilot, Rey quickly gathered her belongings, shouting out a brief goodbye and promise to explain later to Luke.

“Yes, but she ignored my calls,” Jyn explained, “And I tried calling Ben, but it keeps going to voicemail—”

“Because he has a two hour night class he teaches,” Rey interjected, unlocking her car. “The idiot puts his phone on airplane mode during class. He is not going to see it for another half hour.” She glanced at time on the dash as she put her car into drive. “Calm the hell down and go to where you were with her last,” she order, “I’ll be there in less than five minutes.”

On that note, she hung upon on Jyn before she could go into another cycle of cries and rambles.

Getting to the downtown mall in record time, Rey hopped out of the car, the drive calming down her initial response of panic. Opening the ‘Find My Friends’ app on her phone, Rey groaned when she saw where Thea was located. It was almost as though Jyn didn’t even _try_ to look for the girl.

Entering the building, she marched through the evening crowds of teenagers and families, muttering off handed apologies as she picked up her pace. When she saw the glowing sign of _Yogurtland_ , Rey shook her head; Thea would run to the nearest sweet treat and eat it in corpus amounts.

By the window, Thea sat sadly poking and probing her melting frozen yogurt.

Rey knocked on the glass sharply, the girl stilling in her seat. Lifting her head, Thea winced when she Rey standing on the other side. Nodding her head back, Rey motioned for the girl to join her outside the shop. With an overdramatic slump, the girl followed orders.

Apologetically, Thea glanced up at her, fearing the worst. “Rey, I’m—”

Thea didn’t get to finish, wrapped in a bone crushing hug. She was still shorter than Rey and probably would always be, but she was perfect hugging height. Resting her head on Rey’s shoulder, Thea felt a little sob leave her. In the middle of the mall, Rey simply held the girl and let her cry for as long as she needed.

Leaning back, Rey held Thea’s face in her hands, staring at her sternly, “Never, _ever_ scary me like that again. Do you know how _terrifying_ it was to get a call that your daughter is missing? I had to use that stupid stalker phone app to find you. I resorted to stalker levels, Thea,” Rey finished with a water chuckle, releasing the girl.

“I’m sorry—I just—I just,” Thea sighed, “I needed to get away and—” she squeezed her eyes shut, her face blotchy and burning, “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t,” Rey argued, earning a solemn nod of understanding. “But I know you feel sorry and we can talk about this later with your dad. Now let’s go find Jyn and—”

“NO!” Thea cried out. Coughing into her elbow, she shrugged. “I’d…I’d rather not see her,” she hastily explained.

“Oh,” Rey uttered, not sure what to do with these change in tune about her mother. “How about…I call her, let her know you are safe, but you will be coming home with me?”

“Okay,” Thea mumbled, not entirely happy, but accepting the circumstance.

Picking up her phone, Rey noticed several missed calls from Jyn _and_ Ben. “Well, shit,” she muttered, tapping away the notifications. She then clicked on Ben’s number, calling him back. He probably saw the missed calls from Jyn and was on the verge of a catastrophic freak out—

“ _How can you lose a thirteen year old_? _Please explain that to me_!” A distinct voice came from a few yards away, both Rey and Thea freezing.

The girl looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole. “Is that…?”

Both knew the answer.

“Yup,” Rey said, grabbing Thea’s hand. “Come on, let’s go to them before your dad cause more of a scene.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Ben Solo. We finally get to see angry Ben next chapter and I am excited!
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; Love discussing fic with readers :D


	8. December 2019 Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last installment of this snapshot! 
> 
> Looks like I might add Cassian in at a later date, but that is okay! I think some important things are addressed in this chapter :)
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy! :D

“It’s not my fault she wasn’t picking up her phone,” Jyn reasoned firmly, not even raising her voice an inch. “She should have known to pick up her phone,” she said simply.

Ben, on the other hand, was trembling in anger.

This was why Jyn was the _worst_ person to argue with—she never got into the arguments or became passionate about her stance. Her voice never grew louder in an attempt to triumph over the other person. She was just calm and matter-of-fact, making who ever she was with feel invalidated or stupid for reacting in any way. It was almost as if she didn’t care. And maybe that was worse than screaming at each other until their voices gave out.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Ben starred down at Jyn with indignation. “Jyn, she’s _thirteen_. No thirteen year old _actually_ answers their phone,” he said, his voice quaking deeper the more he tried to reign control over his festering fury.

“Then how _else_ am I supposed to find her?”

“Oh, _I don’t know_ ,” Ben blinked mockingly, “Maybe _look_ for her? She’s a teenager and likes only three places in this mall. _Gamestop_ , _Hottopic_ , and _Yogurtland_ ,” he listed off easily, earning a raised eyebrow from Jyn.

“I…I didn’t know that,” she said simply. She should have been embarrassed by this development, or the least bit shameful, but _no_. Jyn still stood with unwavering confidence, as though the words bounced off her like a wall.

Chewing the inside of his cheek, Ben glared hard at her, “Well, yeah Jyn you don’t know shit! Because if you really fucking knew Thea you would have known she doesn’t really like shopping and she only decided to come along because she wants to spend time with you. She’d do anything to spend time with you and what boggles my mind is that you _can’t even see that_!”

She did not seem affected, still speaking in placid, even tones. “I am trying to spend time with her now.”

“ _You are not getting the fucking point_!”

“Ben!” Rey’s voice called from a few feet away. She must have rushed over as soon as she heard. He wouldn’t put it past her to spring right into action once she knew Thea was missing.

Turning away from Jyn, he saw Rey with—

“Thea!” he exclaimed, relief flooding his lungs at the sight of her. She was crowded against Rey, as though hiding from the rest of the world in shame. Glancing around, he noticed a few passers were watching the little exchange between him and Jyn with fascination. Pure curiosity he wasn’t up to feeding.

Without thought, he rushed over to Thea and pulled her into a hug, pressing a quick firm kiss on the crown of her head. She was tense in his hold, possibly expecting him to lash out at her. After the display he demonstrated, he didn't blame her.

Instead he said, “I am so glad you are okay,” and held her to his side.

He felt her wrap her arms around him then, sticking to his side like glue. Like she was five all over again, hiding in her father’s coat or leg when she was scared or nervous, as though his large frame would protect her from all the horrors of the world.

Even at thirteen, some part of her believed this as she refused to look up from the ground.

“Where was she?” Ben asked Rey, his partner finally looking away from Jyn. The other woman slowly made her way over, standing a few feet away from their little cluster.

“ _Yogurtland_ ,” she answered with a shake of her head and downturn lips.

Jyn sighed tiredly, reaching out to touch Thea’s shoulder. “Oh, Theodora if you wanted yogurt instead of—”

The girl shuffled away from her grasp, further into the sanctuary of her parents. Instinctively Ben guarded Thea with his arms. Logically he knew Jyn would not bring any physical harm to his daughter, but that did not mean her physical proximity did not cause the emotional wounds to sting.

“How about we all head back to the house and discuss this further there,” Rey suggested, digging through her purse, “Jyn, here,” she handed over her car keys, “You can take my car back.”

The two women held each other’s gaze, Jyn embarking on an inner debate as the key’s were held between the two. Ben knew Thea needed to not be around Jyn, especially in a car with her, and if Rey were to be in a car with her…let’s say there was no telling what would happen.

And Ben and Jyn driving together wasn’t even an option.

After a moment, Jyn nodded once and took the keys.

 

* * *

 

“Thea, what happened?” Ben asked sternly once they were all sitting alone in the car.

Evening had fully set, the lamp posts in the parking lot their only light. Rey hadn’t even bothered to put the key in the ignition, fiddling with the set of keys in her hands as they waited. In the backseat, Thea avoided the question.

“Thea, answer your father—we are not going to get upset with you. We just need to know what happen to better understand why _you_ are upset,” Rey said, hoping to sway the girl into speaking.

A deject huff escaped the girl, followed by a subtle, wet sniff.

Rey and Ben glanced at each other with doleful faces at the sound. To hear their daughter cry…it was a pain no one taught or explained. To cope with the sorrowful and pitiful cries was not natural, only experience teaching them how to navigate the minefield.

Thea hiccupped, sputtering excuses, “Don’t be angry with Jyn, she didn’t do anything wrong—”

“I get to decide if I am angry with Jyn, _you don’t_ ,” Ben told his daughter rigidly, leaving no room for argument. “She might not have done something purposeful to make you upset, but she clearly did something.”

“Why…” she sighed heavily, scooting forward in the middle seat to get a better look at her parents. “Why does she only have my first dance recital picture?” Her sniffs peppered between her sentences as she struggled to get out the words. “I thought you send her pictures of all the recitals. She should have dozens of pictures! Not just one—”

“We _do_ send her pictures, Thea. We do,” Ben assured her, turning in the passenger seat to get a better look at her. On the lower half of her face, her tears glowed in the dim streetlamp lights. “I…I don’t know why she doesn’t have them,” he answered honestly.

“I saw it was the only one she had and I freaked out—because—because, _everyone has that picture_! And she is not supposed to be just anyone!” Thea cried out in miserable rage, crossing her arms over her chest. “She is…she is supposed to be—” she stopped herself. Instead of continuing the thought, she slumped against the backseat. “So I ran and got food because…food makes everything better,” it did not go past Ben how many times he’d heard Rey say that same exact phrase, “But it didn’t make me feel better, and all I can think about is how she’s never been to any of my recitals and how she’s never been there for my birthday or for _anything_. But for some stupid reason I still want her to like me!”

Soft sobs came from Thea, Ben already getting out of the passenger seat and moving to sit in the back with his daughter. Feeling him near, Thea leaned against him, crying into his chest.

“I’m sorry you feel this way—I never wanted you to feel this way,” Ben said quietly against her hair, brushing her wavy, longs curls out of the way. “And I want to say you don’t need her to like you, because you _don’t_ Thea. And maybe I shouldn’t be saying this but…” he shared a fleeting glance with Rey, she watching the two with loving melancholy, “you don’t need Jyn to be your mom. A mom is someone who will drop anything to be there for you and help you, doesn’t matter if its big or small. She is the person who spends time with you not because she feels like she has to, but because she _wants to_ because she _loves you_. And a _great_ mother would never make you feel the way you feel right now—she’d be trying to _fix it_.”

No one spoke for a moment, Thea harshly wiping away her tears with the meat of her hand. Her breathing was starting to get back to normal, the sound of their seat belts clicking echoing in the silent car.

Facing forward in the driver’s seat, Rey tried her best to not let her own tears be known.

 

* * *

 

When they arrived back home, Jyn was waiting in the living room for them. Upon seeing Thea, she moved to speak to the girl, only for Rey to lead her upstairs before Jyn could get a word in. Thea did not even bother to glance her way, her gaze intensely focused on the floor.

“You and I need to talk,” Ben said once Rey and Thea were out of an earshot. He sat down on the loveseat, in the spot furthest from Jyn.

“Didn’t you already throw your tantrum?” Jyn asked, unamused by him. Ben chewed the inside of his cheek at the comment, his hands clenching at his sides. “What more needs to be said? You are angry with me because I lost Thea for less than thirty minutes—”

“This has _nothing_ to do with loosing, Thea,” Ben said, his aggravation seeping into his tone. “Because loosing her is one thing—all parents have lost their child for a millisecond,” he said with an empty scoff, “It has to do with why she ran in the first place.”

Jyn rolled her eyes, taking a seat on the couch opposite him. “I did nothing wrong—”

“What happened to all the photos I have sent you?” His voice plowed over her, not wanting to her even a slight of her excuses.

“I don’t know what you—”

“Yes, you know exactly what I mean,” he interrupted, lifting his hard eyes to her. “I have sent you dozens of photos of Thea and yet the only one you have around is the first one I sent? Did you even bother to keep the other ones?”

Jyn pursed her lips, considering her answer. “When you travel, you can only take so much with you—”

“IT’S A FUCKING PIECE OF PAPER!” Ben bellowed, shooting out of his seat. “Photos are fucking pieces of paper! They hardly weigh anything—and—and yet you can travel with a thousand Buddhas and all your scarfs and essential oils?”

“Buddhism is a religion,” Jyn stressed, slowly becoming offended at his accusations. “Are you telling me you think I should hold your daughter above my religion because that is—

“That is exactly what I am saying because I can bet my ass you don’t know the first thing about Buddhism and you just like the figurines!” Ben declared, staring back at Jyn with the sourest twist of his mouth, his entire face following its pull. “You don’t care about anything, Jyn! And this the exact fucking reason I didn’t want you in Thea’s life. Because you would pull this type of shit, and no kid fucking deserves a lifetime of heartbreak from someone who is supposed to love them no matter what!”

She blinked furiously at him, forcing herself to stand to face him. “Are you saying I don’t love your daughter?”

A empty bubble of laughter came from the depths of him as he processed her words.

This was absurd.

No, this was _fucking_ rich.

“Jyn—do you hear yourself? _You can’t even call Thea your own fucking daughter_!”

Silence fell over the two, Jyn shell-shocked by Ben’s assertion.

Taking a breath, he stood taller, finally feeling she was listening to him.

“Hate to break it to you Jyn, but you aren’t some gypsy with no obligations. You had a daughter thirteen fucking years ago and she is not some—some _plaything_ or friend you can visit when your heart so damn well pleases. She is a human being with feelings and desires and opinions.”

“I know she is,” Jyn said tiredly, Ben starting to see the words break through her crumbling wall of indifference. “I know she is a human being—I pushed her out of me.”

“Okay, yes I give you that,” he said without malice, not bothering on provoking that point, “But did you spend weeks of sleepless nights taking care of her? Or hold back her hair when she had the flu? Take her to her first dance class, or first days of school? Help her fall back asleep after a nightmare? Did you _ever_ take care of her?”

“No,” she said without regret, “Because you didn’t let me. You let me leave, even told I should go.”

Ben shook his head, not liking how she was trying to turn this on him. “Because you wanted to leave, and you let me know the entire time you were pregnant. So I gave you an out because I’d rather have you completely out of her life than you causing more harm than good with your coming and going.”

“You didn’t even give me the opportunity,” she tried to argue, but her heart wasn’t in it, “Whenever I visit I never get to really spend time with her because she was always with Rey.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “Don’t bring Rey into this—”

“No, I am going to because she is probably the reason why Thea and I—”

“ _No_ ,” Ben said sternly, holding a hand up to stop her. “No, you will not talk bad about Rey in our house. If anything you should be thanking her because she is part of the reason your daughter is amazing. She helped raise Thea and gave more of herself to our family than she ever should have and without obligation.”

“Because she loves you—”

“Because she loves _Thea_ ,” Ben corrected, “And to me, that matters more than her loving me any day.”

She did not argue against him, deciding to remain quiet on the matter.

He squinted at Jyn, “Why are you really here? This visit doesn’t make any sense—you never visit.”

She shrugged, silently agreeing with the assessment. “I got a job interview for global outreach in the area, it requires international travel, but also gives me a home base in Coruscant.”

He frowned, doing the math in his head. “That’s about three hours away, why stay here?”

“Because where else would I stay? My family is back in England, and even then we don’t keep in contact unless it is about money or the estate,” she explained simply. “I thought, might as well try to get to know my other family. I just didn’t expect… you and Rey to be serious and for all of you to have this _life_.”

“So is this your way of saying you want to be in Thea’s life?”

She frowned in thought.

He asked again. “Jyn, do you want to be in Thea’s life?”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, my dad dropped off Max a half hour ago,” Ben said as greeting when he entered his and Rey’s bedroom. “He was knocked out, so I just put him in bed with his day clothes. I don’t think he will really mind not wearing pajamas.”

Sitting on the bed in sweatpants and one of his old t-shirts, Rey hummed in acknowledgement though remained lost in her own thoughts. Walking across the room, he took a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Jyn also left.”

Her head shot up, her bright hazel eyes shining with relief and heartbreak.

“Oh,” she uttered, not sure what to say on the matter. “I heard you really laying it on her, and I gotta admit I am proud of you.”

He sighed deeply, but smiled nonetheless. “Thanks. It was kind of therapeutic to get it all out there, let her know I am not okay with her MIA attitude and relationship with Thea.”

“Does this mean we won’t see her for another five years?”

Ben’s face pinched at the question. “I told her she is free to visit, but we need a warning ahead of time and she needs to stay somewhere else— _not with us_. Even told her she picked the worst week with Max’s IEP coming up and just her inconsiderate actions toward all of us. She apologized for that by the way,” Rey rolled her eyes, but nodded. “She also said she is going to call her lawyer about relinquishing all her custody rights. She’d rather have us and Thea make the choice on her level of involvement. She also made it explicitly clear—she doesn’t want to be a mom.”

Rey’s face scrunched up. “Is it awful to say I hate her, but I am also grateful about her decision?”

“No, because I feel the same,” he admitted quietly. “I have a feeling she is going to try to visit more often, but take a different approach with Thea…and maybe that is for the best.”

Resting her head on his shoulder, Rey reached for his hand. “I talked to Thea…it sounds like it is going to take some time for her to come around to wanting to see Jyn again. She doesn’t hate her, but she also really doesn’t like her. She just seems confused.”

“Then we need to make sure she doesn’t feel that way about us and we are there to listen to her when she wants to talk about it,” Ben said with resolve.

Playing with the cuff of his sleeve, Rey gave him a soft smile. “Hey, you are pretty great dad. Don’t let this one… _hiccup_ bother you.”

He mirrored her gaze, squeezing her hand. “You are not so bad yourself,” he pressed a light kiss to the corner of her mouth, “And thank you. For everything—I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he said earnestly, his nose bumping against hers.

Rey hummed in agreement and curled into him, feeling sleep starting to pull on her eyes.

.

.

.

Standing outside the bedroom door, Thea debated on knocking, having heard the majority of the conversation and her father’s booming voice downstairs.

She wanted to be upset. Yell, scream, curse like her dad. Tell her how she deserved more time.

She should be upset with Jyn, hearing how easily she decided to leave again.

But instead, Thea was just _sad_.

The sound of footsteps were then heard from the other side of the door.

In a panic, Thea rushed to her room and climbed back into her bed. She closed her eyes and attempted to steady her breathing when her door edged open. The side of her bed dipped as a gentle hand—Rey’s hand—rest on her shoulder. She adjusted the blanket around Thea, tucking her in better than the girl’s hasty job a few moments earlier.

“Thea, I know you are a sleep—gosh, I would be too with _that_ emotional rollercoaster,” she chuckled softly, the sound just above a faint mumble, “but I just want to let you know… you will _always_ be my little girl. You made me less afraid of becoming a mom because you already made me one.” Rey inhaled a shaky breath, brushing away hair from Thea’s face. “I hope one day you can call me that.”

Rey squeezed Thea’s shoulder once more, before gradually getting up. “Night, Thea,” she whispered as she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Opening her eyes, Thea felt her lips curve into sleepy smile. “Night, Mom,” she said to herself.

Something about it felt right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M NOT CRYING, YOU ARE!
> 
> Yeah, so Jyn is out of the picture again. But she will be coming back...after all, she has to meet Cassian eventually!
> 
> AND WOOO BEN LAYING IT ON THICK TO JYN. No throwing anything because Rey would have had his head over that. He respects the home he made with his love and children :D
> 
> Next snapshot will probably in the past. LIKE WAY IN THE PAST. Like...dare I say, pre-Thea?
> 
> Let me know what you think! What are your thoughts on Jyn or how Ben handled the situation? Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	9. March 2002

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot of you have been waiting for this chapter...and you will know what I mean when we get to the end ;)
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

“We should invite them—”

“No,” Ben grumbled, turning the page on his copy of David Foster Wallace’s _The Girl With Curious Hair._ The short story collection was a required reading for one of the lower level creative writing courses he TA, the professor asking Ben to follow with the reading and present a lecture Wallace’s writing sensibilities. He was not initially a fan of the authors work, he found himself intrigued by the style—bending the truth to his will. “It’s Spring Break and I am sure they have plans.”

“They don’t,” Poe stressed, taking a seat across from Ben at their modest dinning table. ‘Modest’ a generous word considering they got it in a yard sale, and the main support was getting a little wonky when too much pressure was added. “Finn and Rey are planning on sticking around the apartment and I feel like shit to leave them here while we mooch off your parents the entire week.”

“Maybe they want a break from us—people _can_ be annoying, Poe,” he said, raising an eyebrow at his childhood friend.

The other man did not play into the tease, instead staring sternly at Ben. “I’m serious. I think we should invite them. And if you don’t want to see them, your parent’s house is big enough where you can hide from the world for a solid week.”

Ben wanted to say ‘no’ again. He wasn’t the most comfortable around Rey and Finn just yet, but Poe loved the freaking daylights out of those kids. Wanted to be ‘Big Brother’ Poe and teach them the ways of the world—which was stupid, considering Poe was more sheltered and privileged than the average kid. But he was adamant.

Finn wasn’t that bad when he had something to occupy him.

And Rey knew how to fall into the background…

“Fine,” Ben said with a huff, “But we do not tell my parents they are minors—my mom would loose it and try to find them a home like they were stray dogs or something.” He rolled his eyes, returning to his book.

Poe cheered, swooping in for a big hug. “You are the bestest Ben Solo!”

“‘Bestest’ is not a word!”

 

* * *

 

“There they are!” Leia Organa-Solo cried out in delight as Ben and his roommates came up the driveway.

She was out of her work clothes, dressed in casual lounge pants and a light pink sweater. Ben noted this, knowing his mother must have taken a shorter work week due to his arrival. A recent development since he went off to college—it was almost as though she felt guilty for not being around as much when he was a child.

Waiting for them, Leia stood excitedly on the porch, arms wide for Poe. The young man charged up to the woman, wrapping her in a big bear hug.

“Oh Mama Leia how I have missed you!” he declared, earning a welcoming pat on the back before letting her go. “We have so much to catch up on.”

“Save it for the wine tonight dear,” she chuckled, letting him rush off into the house as though it were paradise. And for Poe it might as well been; his parents were often busy with international work and spent most of his summers running around the Organa-Solo home.

“Hey Mom,” Ben greeted in a more subdue manner than his friend. “Long time no see.”

Leia smiled at her son, patting his arm, knowing he wasn’t the most affectionate boy. “Hello, Ben. I’m happy you decided to come,” she squeezed his shoulder, sharing a warm look with him. He felt uncomfortable under the careful touch, but accepted it nonetheless. Glancing over his shoulder, she noticed his other roommates shuffling awkwardly by the base of the stairs. “And brought friends!”

“Uh, yeah,” Ben rubbed the back of his neck, stepping back to motion to the two. “This is Finn and Rey—my roommates.”

Leia beamed at the two, stepping down the two steps. She then pulled Finn and Rey into individual hugs, giving them a warm welcome. Naturally, the two teenagers remained stunned, not accustomed to the freely given affection. “Any of Ben’s friends are always welcomed here. Come on I’ll show you were you can set your things.”

She quickly ushered the two along, Ben following behind after.

He noticed Rey trailing a step or two behind Finn and Leia, the two chatting instantly, the girl unintentionally becoming an outsider.

That was the thing about Finn, he could adapt to any situation easily and make a friend, that’s why he and Poe got along so well with their social sensibilities. Rey on the other hand…she smiled politely and kept her mouth shut. It was no surprise she reacted in such a way when in a new environment.

Walking closer to her, Ben dropped his voice. “Don’t worry, she’s not this… _energetic_ all the time. She just hasn’t seen me in a while and I don’t really bring friends over.”

Rey blinked owlishly at his quiet explanation, but nodded in understanding all the same.

 

* * *

 

“So…these new roommates,” Leia started the moment she and Ben were alone in his old room. She cornered him as he went about unpacking his duffle bag, knowing no one would attempt to encroach on his privacy…except for herself. “You never told me how young they are…or how one of them is girl…” she walked over to sit on the edge of his bed and patted the space beside her. Sighing, he dropped the pajama pants he ways tucking away in the drawer and followed her orders. Sitting beside her, she wrapped a stern but warm arm around his shoulders. “Why don’t you tell me more about these two?”

“Why don’t you try and get to know them?” Ben countered in the same condescending tone. “They are pretty nice people, except a little skittish. But they get over it.”

“Ben,” Leia said in warning, raising an eyebrow, “Why are you housing two practical minors?”

He rolled his eyes. Of course she’d notice; when would Leia Organa-Solo not notice something off? “They are emancipated. Poe and I didn’t know until a few weeks ago, and we are not going to kick them out—this is exactly why I didn’t want them to come, because you would try to go all social justice worker lawyer on them—and they don’t need that.”

“For someone who acts like he doesn’t care about his roommates, you sure are defensive about them,” Leia commented, earning a soft glare from her son. “And I am not upset. In fact, I am happy you brought them, they seem like wonderful people…I just want to let you know I might be keeping tabs on them because they are young and might need support.”

“Mom, they don’t need you to be their savior—”

“And I am not going to be! I am just going to get to know them better, maybe become a welcoming adult figure in their lives. Finn and I really hit off; apparently he is a soft blues man, and we immediately got talking about all our favorites.” She smiled happily, excited about talking more with the boy. “But Rey…I just cant figure out what makes her tick.”

“You’ve only known her for ten minutes. I’d be concerned if you knew how she ticked,” Ben reminded her, standing up and out of her grasp. “Maybe try talking about…comic books with her? She likes superheroes.”

“Huh,” was all Leia said, making her way to leave the room.

“She’s not the most girly girl out there, so don’t try to force it on her.”

“Son, I would never—”

“I know you always wanted a girl and you got a son,” he said, holding the door open for her. She appeared affronted by the assessment. “Now please let me be in peace and not scar them too much.”

Leia sniffed at him, but marched out with her head held high.

Dear god, why did he agree to this?

 

* * *

 

For most of the week Ben attempted to remain in the solitude of his room.

And everyone noticed.

Yet, Rey took note how his family and Poe let the young man be.

“I swear he will always be a moody teenager,” Han Solo, Ben’s dad, grumbled when he came home the first afternoon to find two strangers and Poe up and about in his house. He gave a gruff ‘hello’ and regarded them as though he had known them for years and were not merely acquainted. He squinted at the three other young adults, “Does he do that back at school?”

“All the time,” Poe answered easily, “But it is kind of difficult in a tiny apartment to be alone, so you can imagine how annoyed he gets when he has to share the living room.”

Ben's parents chuckled at that, Rey finding herself trying to laugh along but not fully committing.

It was odd to be where Ben grew up—mostly because she never considered him as a child or teenager. He was always this grumpy, grim-reaper type giant who’d read and write all the time in the corner of the room. To think he was small and defenseless once upon a time…really screwed with her brain.

For some reason in the depths of her mind she conjured Ben to be someone like her.

Lost. Looking for purpose. Neglected. Alone.

However meeting his parents and seeing where he grew up, she felt the ‘Ben Solo’ she created in her mind deeply contrasted the ‘Ben Solo’ this environment projected.

And like the curious individual she was, she asked Poe about Ben’s sullenness towards his parents.

“Oh, Ben doesn’t get along with them,” he answered simply as he and Finn struggled to set up the old Playstation in the basement. “Never really has.”

“What do you mean he doesn’t get along with them?” she said with a scoff. She watched as Finn and Poe struggled to differentiate the cords. Rolling her eyes, she grabbed the cords and went about hooking up the system for them. “Leia and Han adore him.”

Poe winced at the comment.

“ _Yeah_ …” he said with force, earning confused glances from Finn and Rey. “It wasn’t always like that. Uh,” he glanced over his shoulder, checking to see if anyone was looming around. Once the coast was clear, he continued. “Ben and his parents only recently started talking again. They had a major fallout when he was seventeen, mostly because he decided to go to a different college and a whole bunch of drama with his high school, the Knight Academy—long story short, Ben wasn’t the best son and Han and Leia weren’t the best parents.”

Rey’s eyebrows creased, her and Finn attempting to piece together the information. “What do you mean they weren’t the best?” she probed, shoving the right adapters behind the television set. “I have never seen more loving parents—”

Poe shifted self-consciously, lowering his voice for only Finn and Rey to hear. “That’s the thing—they have only started acting more loving _now_.  Han and Leia worked, _a lot_. To the point Ben rarely saw them when they were home, and then in middle school he was sent to boarding school and—” he shook his head, “You know what? I really shouldn’t be telling you guys this because Han and Leia are great, and Ben is great too—they just have a lot family things they are still working out.”

Poe remained tight lip on the subject from then on.

But that did not mean was not even more intrigued by the turn of events.

However her inquisitive quest was put on the backburner as Leia seemed to make it her mission to know every little thing about Rey.

Where she grew up? _Jakku_.

Where she gained her accent? _Not too sure, always kind of had it since I could remember_.

How were classes going? _Uh…great?_

Each question became more and more personal, as though Leia was trying to needle her way through Rey and find all her darkest secrets. Which there wasn’t much besides the obvious. Though all talk ceased when Ben entered the room, Leia attempting conversation with her son.

It failed spectacularly every single time.

With Han it seemed easier, the men talking in short sentences, followed by a nod to end the conversation.

Rey was becoming more and more befuddled by the Solo family dynamic, she was realizing she was better off _not_ understanding

That is until the Easter Sunday BBQ happened.

And Ben practically lost his shit.

 

* * *

 

“What the hell is he doing here?” Ben hissed to Poe as the four of them remained in their little cluster in the furthest corner of the backyard. “I thought he was in hospice, the old bastard.”

“I think…your uncle brought him?” Poe tried, tilting his head up to get a better look.

Every Easter Sunday, the Organa-Solo’s while not the most religious set of folks, threw a huge BBQ and invited all their closest family and friends. Which mean nearly a fifty people flittering in and out during the majority of the afternoon. Lots of food, music, and socializing were provided.

Of course Finn and Poe thrived in the atmosphere, Poe gladly introducing everyone to his roommate and friend. Meanwhile Rey and Ben took to sitting as far away as possible from guests and silently eating to their heart’s content.

Maybe that was one of the redeeming qualities of Rey. She nearly disliked people as much as Ben. Or at very least was not socially apt and preferred to be alone than embarrass herself. Which every one it was, Ben found it agreeable.

Usually Ben was able to get by without talking more than a few words and keeping a low profile. But apparently his grandfather decided to make a grand appearance.

“I…I need to get out of here,” Ben declared, feeling his heart beating restlessly the longer he saw his parents interact with his grandfather.

Palms sweaty and vision blurring, he rushed out of the backyard, hearing a few voices calling out to him. His mother, his father, his uncle—even his grandfather, but Ben did not stop.

He charged straight through the crowd until he was inside the house.

Clumsily he took the stairs down to the basement, old instincts kicking back into his mind.

Once down stairs, he sat on first beanbag he saw. Puffs of air and Styrofoam beads popped out, but Ben did not even bother reacting. He simply sighed deeply, trying his best to get his breathing back in order. He counted the beams over his head, the light from the still open door streaming into the room and providing him adequate light.

After what felt like eternity, Ben was able to think a little clearly and not feel like his heart was about to pound right out of his chest.

But that did not mean he was actually going to get up.

Nope.

He was perfectly content laying on the basement ground with his dying blue beanbag chair until the end of time.

The creaking sound of feet climbing down the stairs warned him he was unfortunately no longer alone.

In retaliation, Ben snapped his eyes closed. If he acted like he was asleep, maybe the person would leave him the hell alone.

“Hey,” Rey’s voice came from above him, “I just…” she released a puff of air, “I just came down here to check on you.”

Peaking open one eye open, Ben was meet with her beat up Converses. The white canvas was now a brownish beige, worn and tired, but most of all loved by their owner. She was wearing a simple light blue dress, hitting just above her knee. Something his mother probably said she had in her closet but bought for Rey because she was already doting on the girl.

Her foot nudged the beanbag.

Ben decided to remain silent.

Rey took this in stride. He numbly watched her walk over to the red beanbag in the other corner of the room and drag it to rest beside his. She flopped down and looked up at the ceiling, mirroring him.

“I…don’t know what happened back there, but it was fucking scary.”

He opened his mouth to apologize for making a scene or whatever else his brain liked to apologize for in these moments.

But she continued. “It was scary because I didn’t know what to do. I mean…I know we are not friends, as you so like to point out all the fucking time, but I guess I sort of care about you. We do live together, Solo.”

She glanced at him.

Ben willed himself to not look her way.

“I was kind of upset with you earlier—mostly because you seem like this privileged asshat, with a loving family, and a big house. You have everything I ever wanted…” she toyed with skin around her nails, the polish Finn begged to paint on her nails a couple if days back chipped and ruined from her picking. “But I think I get why you are sad all the time.

Ben blinked dumbly. “I’m not—”

“You are,” she said simply, turning on her side to look at him. “You are sad all the time and you think no one notices and yeah, not a lot of people do because they think you are some moody brat.”

“Do you think I am moody brat?” he found himself asking quietly. He played with the little beads resting around his beanbag, too afraid to look at her.

“No—I think you got a shit ton of issues—like a fucking moving box of issues,” she snorted, “And that’s what makes you moody, but I don’t think you are a brat.” She dropped her hands on her stomach, intertwining her fingers playfully. “I don’t know what shit went down between you and your family, and I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. And I kind of still do, but also…” she pursed her lips, looking away from him, “if you need someone on your side, you always have me.” She paused, a lighter chuckle escaping her. “Even if I might be fucking shit at it.”

She then had a ghost of smile…

                                                  …but it was gone in an instant.

And for a moment, Ben Solo felt this alarming urge to kiss Rey Jacobs—

To hold her.

To make her smile like that over and over again.

To hear her loud and awkward chuckles and know he was the cause.

To have her say she’d be a shit friend but perfectly okay with that—

Because gosh, she could really be _so much more_ than a friend and—

 _Fuck_.

She was seventeen.

And lonely.

And lived with him.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

Swallowing tightly, Ben sat up abruptly.

“Uh, thank you,” was all he could say before standing up.

From her beanbag, Rey quirked a curious eyebrow at him.

“I…I am thirsty. Do you want me bring you anything?” he asked pathetically out of breath for no other reason but becoming consumed with thoughts of her.

She squinted at him but shrugged. “Sure, a Coke would be good.”

Ben nodded, before climbing up the stairs two at a time and out of the basement.

Once the bright afternoon sun hit him from the windows, he faced the reality of the situation—

Rey Jacobs was always going to hold a little piece of his heart.

He unabashedly, silently _giving_ it to her in the fleeting moment of her not-even-there smile.

And she was never going to see him _that_ way…in the _romantic_ way.

For some reason, Ben felt like crying.

And he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben has been somewhat in love with Rey for sixteen years. 
> 
> Yeah. I know.
> 
> And I know I kept on claiming he hasn't been in love with her for that long but like...he has but he hasn't. Like he goes through bouts of REALLY LOVING HER and then being like "Rey is the stupidest person and I can't believe I have thought about her in any other way than my annoying friend."
> 
> And I was purposely ambiguous as to what is going on with the Skywalkers and Solos and left many things unanswered all over the place because I NEED TO SAVE THAT FOR ANOTHER SNAPSHOT!
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers! :D


	10. December 2012

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IF YOU HAVE NOT READ CHAPTER 9, GO AND READ CHAPTER 9. IT IS IMPORTANT.
> 
>  
> 
> This one is sweet. And probably make some of you cry.
> 
> Warning: Birth happens but nothing explicit.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later. (Because they might really exist since I wrote this one mostly on my phone.)
> 
> Also I am apparently awful at numbers and years and Rey should be pregnant with Max in 2012, not 2013. My brains wants to insert this year and not 2018 when I do math...so long story short, i fixed the years and they should be right now!
> 
> Enjoy!

 

“ _I want him out of me now!”_ Rey cried out, her words morphing into a pitiful sob. A sheen of sweat laid across her skin, chestnut strands sticking to her forehead and the back of her neck.

She breathed heavily, squeezing her eyes shut.

“You are only dilated six centimeters, Rey,” Ben droned from the uncomfortable armchair-recliner contraption beside her. He was still dressed in his work clothes, though his tie discarded and a jacket replaced with a sweater. “You heard the nurse—ten centimeters.”

A tired whine came from the back of her throat, all different types of pain blending into one cacophony of chaos inside her body.

“Just have them cut me open,” she mumbled into her pillow, “remove the damn bastard _Alien_ style.”

Lifting his head, Ben squinted at her. “Have you ever seen _Alien_? Because trust me, you don’t want the baby removed _Alien_ style.”

She looked back at him, but didn’t give him a response.

Ben felt pity blossom in his chest; Rey had been in labor for over twelve hours and she still refused the Epidural. She acted as though she were fine when her water broke and was calm when he drove her to the hospital. But something must have snapped from within her in the last hour because she was starting to get stir crazy.

Ben glanced at his watch— _10:12PM._

Maybe talking about something would ease her mind.

Standing up, he went to sit on the edge of her bed. Grabbing her hand in his own, he rubbed soothing circles into her skin.

If someone told him ten years ago he’d be holding Rey Jacobs hand as she prepared for labor—for a child that was decidedly _not_ his—he would have laughed in their face.

“Have you picked a name?”

Rey pursed her lips dejectedly. “No.” She played with the medical bracelet on her wrist, twisting and pulling on the plastic absentmindedly. “Naming him would make everything too… _real_.”

“Not the fact he moves in your body?” Ben remarked, slightly confused by her logic.

“Oh, shut up,” she grumbled. “I have tried thinking about it…but I just hate every name I come across.”

“I understand the feeling,” Ben said though with a hesitant wince, “But also I kind of don’t…”

Rey scoffed, having a strong feeling where this was going. “Don’t tell me you were one of those people who had their kids names picked out—”

“I had the name ‘Theodora Clair’ picked out since I was fourteen,” he admitted before Rey could finish her accusation. “She was the main character of all these short stories I would write as a kid—knew how to slay dragons, fight with a glowing blade, was kind and smart…and so when I found out I was going to have a girl I _knew_ I wanted her name to be Theodora Clair—divine brightness.”

The meaning was not lost of Rey. She could picture a young and awkward Ben Solo writing fantastical stories in the solitude of his room, picturing a heroine to come and save the day. To be the brightness in his darkness; she found it ironic how little Thea did just that.

Sure, Ben still had this melancholy shadow over him—he probably always will—but the day Thea was born, a new light shone through the emotionally turbulent man. He smiled more, made thoughtful decisions and took initiative. He had something beyond himself to live for and to see that part of him come to life… Rey found she wanted to keep Ben Solo around for a lot longer than the average friend.

“That’s…sweet, I guess,” Rey said with a yawn, still keeping her hand in his. “Also, you are the biggest dork I have ever known.”

He smiled tiredly at her. “I’m sure you have a name you find yourself drawn to…maybe even subconsciously like—”

“I hate long names,” Rey announced as she saw the cogs in Ben’s brain turning. He was going to pick a name for this monster inside her if it was the last thing he’d do. “I rejoiced to the heavens with you shortened Thea’s name because, fuck, Theodora is a mouth full.”

Ben frowned. “It’s only four syllables.”

“Mouth full,” she stressed.

“Fine, no long names you can’t shorten.”

“And nothing too… _common_ ,” she decided. “I like simple names, but nothing like he being one of seven Johns in a class. Don’t want to doom him by being something like John J. or worse, _J.J._ for the rest of his life.”

“Understood,” he commented, staring at her hard. “And I assume you want it to sound good with Jacobs?”

She paused, twisting her lips side to side. “I…want it to sound good with any last name,” she said quietly, dropping her gaze back to the pale blue sheets on her lap. “And I want it to have meaning…and a _good_ meaning.”

“How about ‘Maximus’?” Ben tried a moment later. “Can be shortened to ‘Max’ and means ‘greatest’.”

She huffed into a laugh. “And how do you know all this?”

“Looking at baby naming books,” he said simply before his eyes widened, “Not—not for you or the baby but for writing. Because wow, it is like naming children all the time. And readers like them to be modern and retro at the same time—honestly so much work.”

She didn’t even bother to argue with him or tease, too exhausted to form coherent words beyond their conversation.

"It is not a bad name," she thought it out, "I can see myself yelling that when he gets in trouble."

"Interesting how that is your first thought when truly considering a name," he teased, feeling her starting to relax despite the pain. "How about a middle name?"

"I have one picked," she said immediately.

Ben's face scrunched up, blinking down at her in surprise. "Wait, so you had a middle name picked out before a first name?"

"Of course," she answered as though it were the most obvious matter in the world.

All Ben could do was shake his head bemusedly on the matter.

Glancing at his watch again, Ben cringed.

_10:40PM_

"Hey, I am going to grab some coffee." Ben stood up, making his way over to the door.

"You need to sleep," she argued lightly. She was well aware he was up late grading papers the previous night, and probably got three hours of sleep.

"I'll let you get second hand caffine high from the smell," Ben offered with a weary smirk.

"Fuck, you know me too well," she lamented, dropping her dramatically on the pillows. "Fine, hurry back. I hate being alone in here."

He nodded with a soft chuckle and left the room.

Only for a nurse to pop right in a minute later. She went about checking Rey's vitals and cervix like a routine, and at this point it was with how long she'd been there.

"Looks like we made progress," the nurse said cheerfully, "We are now at 8 centimeters!"

"Damn it!" Rey groaned unabashedly. "Come on Max, get your act together!"

The nurse chuckled in understanding, rearranging the blankets back in place. "I know, I know, but at least you have your husband around to ease the time by." At this point Rey didn't bother to correct her; Ben had been mistaken as her husband. Not that she could blame them. He hovered and acted like an on edge husband since they entered the building. Part of her was tempted to remind him that the pipsqueak inside he was not actually his child and he needed to calm the hell down, but she knew how much he cared. She couldn't do that to him. "In all my time here, I have never seen a spouse so terrified to leave another. He even asked me to stop by to keep you company," she explained, leafing through Rey's medical information on the clipboard attached to the bed. "Ah, now I see what is taking so long. This little guy wants to come out nearly an entire month early."

"Yeah," Rey mumbled, "he's being a moody brat."

"Most babies are," the nurse declared as the door opened. Ben stepped back in a large black coffee in hand. Upon seeing him she smiled and patted Rey's leg. "Alright, hopefully the next time I see you it will be time to meet your guy."

She exited the room as Ben waved to her in appreciation. He sat back in his spot on the edge of the bed, Rey leaning forward to sniff the coffee.

"Oh god, I needed that. First thing I am doing once he is out is drink all the coffee in the world," she sighed delighfully. 

Ben snorted at her, lifting his cup to take a drink. "I'm sure you will."

His disheveled hair and bags under his eyes seemed lighter as he sat beside her, even though she knew he wanted to crawl into a hole and sleep for an eternity. Honestly, he didn't have to be there. She even yelled at him to get out a couple of times and tried to convince him she didn't need him to drive her or waste his time waiting with her. Yet here he was.

She could kiss him.

Though that was probably the hormones talking.

"Hey," she poked his forearm. Ben blinked up at her, eyes probably dried out from wearing contacts and not switchibg to glasses. "Hey, you know you are my best friend and I love you, right?"

He stared at her silently for a moment. A strabge panic swelled in Rey's chest, she not sure if it was heartburn, the baby, or Ben's lack of reaction.

Did she never say she loved him? Is that why he was acting like that? She could have sworn she told him before.

Well, wasn't she a shit best friend.

Ben then stuttered out, "I know. I love you too, Rey."

His lips quirked in a smile and Rey felt like she could breath again.

* * *

 

Ben pleaded with himself to not look at the mucus and the blood and everything else and just focus on Rey.

He just needed to focus on Rey. Only Rey. Keep his gaze on Rey...and maybe not how she probably broke his hand, one he couldn't feel because _wow_ adrenaline is a thing.

Luckily the actual birth happened quicker than either expected. Within moments a shrill, infant scream tore through the room.

Everything happened in a blur and suddenly Dr. Holdo is insisting he cut the umbilical cord and he is trying his best to not look at any blood--

And it all kind of fades away when he sees the baby...when he sees _Max_.

Because Max is tiny. Possibly due to being premature or maybe he was just going to be a small child. He had strong lungs, still screaming and making those insane sounds babies do. Brown hair stuck to his head and forehead and his limbs were moving without purpose, not use to the air.

A warmth filled his chest and terrified chill consumed Ben.

But Ben knew this feeling. He felt it when he first laid eyes on Thea.

Ben wanted to wrap up little Max and keep him close. Keep him warm and protect him from all harm because he was perfect in that odd, gross baby way.

He knew he'd love Max. Ben just did not expect to love him as though he were his own.

* * *

 

"Do all babies look this squishy?" Thea asked, peering over Rey's shoulder at the baby. Even though it was the morning and a school day, Thea skipped to finally meet the baby. "Because all the babies I have seen don't look this squishy."

"Well, he has been swimming in a tight space," Ben reminded his daughter, standing behind her to make sure she didnt encroach too much into Rey's bubble.

"Oh," she said, leaning back happily, "that makes sense." Thea then looked back at the baby in Rey's arms. "What's his name?"

"Maximus Benjamin Jacobs," Rey said proudly, unable to keep her eyes off her child.

"'Benjamin'?" Ben echoed, not quite believing what he heard.

Rey smiled serenely up at him. "Yeah, I told you I had the middle name picked out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am pretty sure I never gave the kids middle names and if i did, well these are their middle names now and I am not changing it, hahaha.
> 
> And yeah, Max was born a little premature but he ends up being okay :)
> 
> Also I have never given birth, so this is slightly based off of memories I have of family's pregnancys and a little research.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	11. January 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this would be a cute Ben and Max bonding chapter, but Ben had to go be Ben and get all introspective and this was the product.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Only three days,” Rey reminded the two as she placed her carryon in the back of the car. “I will only be gone three days, and if anything happens, I can come back sooner.”

Ben smiled down at her reassuringly. “We will be fine. Like you said—only three days. Max and I can survive a couple of days without you two.” He ruffled the boy’s hair lightly, Max not bothering to fix it compulsively.

Standing beside him, Max nodded in agreement, standing taller. Despite his mother’s hesitance, the boy was excited to have an entire weekend with just him and Ben, even if it was going to be a simple weekend.

“Ugh, why is this bag so heavy!” Thea cried out from the front door, struggling to roll her large suitcase behind her.

Rey pursed her lips at the sight, walking over to help Thea. “I told you to pack light. We are only in San Francisco for a long weekend not three weeks.”

“But what if it snows?”

“It’s not going to snow.”

“But what if it gets super-hot?”

“It is _January_ , Thea.”

Nevertheless, Rey rolled the suitcase over to the car and put it with her carryon. Slamming the back hatch shut, she turned to her boys with a forced smile, trying her best to not cry at her and Thea’s departure.

“Call me about anything—”

“I know,” Ben rested a warm hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. “I will call you every night to just ease your worries. We will be _fine_ , don’t worry about us and just have fun at the ballet.”

“ _Everything was beautiful at the ballet!”_ Thea sang terribly off-key, earning a playful eyeroll from her father. Her giddiness was beginning to shine through as she practically buzzed with excitement beside Rey.

“Alright, alright,” Rey sighed, rather amused by Thea. “We need to get going if we want to make it to the hotel by check-in.”

At those words, the girl surged forward and wrapped her dad in a tight hug. A mumbled ‘thank you’ was heard from her; it was his idea to have her go see a professional ballet performance as a Christmas gift. As she became older, her interest in ballet and performance grew as well as her skills. Naturally Ben felt it was his job to help her see what classical dance was in the professional world if she desired to pursue it. Give her the support and encouragement she deserved, something he didn’t always have growing up.

But of course, that didn’t mean he had to sit through a three hours of ballet. Rey could do that.

Saying goodbye, Ben held his daughter close and pressed firm kiss on her forehead, like he always did. She released him and then went on to hug Max, the boy burying his head in her stomach with loose arms around her. Once satisfied with the rather short hug, the boy bolted out of Thea’s arms into his mom’s, leaving the girl huffing and heading off to the passenger seat of the car.

“Love you, Mom,” Max mumbled as he hugged Rey roughly, hands locked around her.

“Love you too, Maxie,” she said softly, brushing his hair away from his face. She hugged him back for a moment, rather awkwardly with the boy so short and not giving her chance to crouch down to hugs him properly. After a moment she, let go—

But Max refused.

Rey patted his arm lightly. “Okay, Max. I need to get going, I’ll talk to you tonight, alright?”

He shook his head silently, still holding on.

Nervously, Rey looked back up at Ben. It was as though what she knew would happen was coming to life. And she was going to fall back into old patterns. “You know what—I can stay and you can go—”

“No,” Ben interrupted her excuses, crouching down beside Max. “You are going to go and have fun with Thea,” he said earnestly.

He could not remember the last time Rey went on a longer trip without Max coming along. The longest the two had been separated was when she had to go to a two day, overnight conference for work. At the time, Max was only two.

Carefully, he laid a hand on the boy’s back, rubbing soothing circles. “Hey, we need to let Mom get going, okay? We will talk to her tonight, I promise.”

Pinching his lips together, Max sighed through his nose. A second later he let go of Rey, only to latch on to Ben’s neck. Surprised by the turn of events, Ben stood up slowly, now carrying Max as the boy hid in his shoulder.

“Uh,” Ben looked over at Rey, awkwardly. “I wanted our goodbye to be a _little_ private—”

“Then we will just have to have a private ‘hello’ when I get back,” she teased. Quickly she stood up on her toes and pressed a light kiss to his cheek. “Love you, dear. I’ll talk to you later.” She then went off to car.

Standing with Max, Ben watched as Rey pulled out of the driveway with Thea already chatting insistently in the front seat. Ben chuckled lightly at the sight. The two waved once more before Rey drove out on to the street.

He stood there until the car disappeared around the corner, leaving just Ben and Max on the driveway.

“Looks like it’s just you and me buddy,” he said cheerfully, hoping to rouse the boy.

Max huffed into Ben’s shoulder, but did not complain.

“Let’s go have some lunch.”

 

* * *

 

Lunch was rather uneventful, Max sighing dejectedly the entire meal followed by a disinterested viewing of _Ratatouille_ afterwards. A surprising reaction considering how much Max enjoyed watching the animated movie over and over.

Clearly Max was still upset Rey and Thea left for San Francisco earlier, and silence was his only way to truly show it.

Ben knew better to try and pry the boy, letting him speak and get out of his shell when ready. He just never experienced the silent treatment from Max for _this_ long. They usually had a nice repertoire, Max calm and talkative with him. Talking about the stars and building weird contraptions—that honestly weren’t really anything—with Ben. It was easy being with Max, to the point Rey occasionally became jealous at how naturally the two interacted.

After the movie, Ben was able to convince Max to go on a drive to Grandma Leia’s and Grandpa Han’s for the afternoon. It was a simple twenty minute drive, the boy humming along happily to the car radio, _Joy Division_ playing through the speakers.

Ben felt a little lighter at the sound.

Leia was happy to receive the two, Max preening at the gentle affection. For the rest of the afternoon he ran around in the backyard, Ben and his mother watching carefully from the porch swing.

“He seems okay,” Leia commented as Max dashed about up the slide the wrong way. The boy giggled as he reached the top and slid back down. “Maybe he just needed some time to adjust to the idea.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right,” Ben said, squinting at the sun, “I mean I didn’t push it. But I am not going to lie, it freaked me out a bit.”

“Well, this is going to be the longest time he is away from Rey. It is natural for any six year old to be a little scared, even if Max is Max,” she explained, taking a sip of her tea.

Both watched as the boy plopped himself on the ground and spoke in even tones to the air; playing elaborate imaginary games by himself as he often did. Lonesome but seemingly unbothered. In his own little world.

A twinge of melancholy ached in Ben’s chest at the sight.

Did _he_ look like that as a child?

“You should look at moving into places with a backyard,” Leia announced.

“ _Excuse me_?” Ben uttered, not entirely sure why his mother was bringing up the idea of moving. “We’re not planning on moving any time soon,” he mumbled stubbornly. “We like where we live.”

“Yes, I am sure you _love_ sharing a Jack-and-Jill restroom with your teenage daughter,” Leia said condescendingly. “Or how thin the walls are…I mean there is a reason your father and I had the room downstairs while you lived upstairs—”

“ _Okay_ ,” Ben hissed under his breath, “I understand where you are coming from, but Rey and I haven’t talked about moving.”

“You mean she hasn’t brought it up, so you _won’t_ bring it up.”

Ben shut his eyes, mentally telling himself how much he loved his mother despite her meddling and acute observations.

“No—No,” he said surely, however his mind and heart stuttered. “I can bring up moving if I so desired.”

“Then why haven’t you?” Leia countered. “You two come here all the time to ‘let Max play outside,’ because you don’t have your own backyard, but then you end up staying here for most of the day.”

“Maybe I want to spend time with you?”

“Don’t try to bullshit your own mother, Ben.”

He blanched at the remark, subconsciously sliding lower into his spot.

“Not to mention if you two plan on having more children—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Ben shot up, turning to his mother in completely terrified astonishment. “Who said Rey and I were planning on having more kids? Because right now that is _not_ the plan.”

“ _Oh_ ,” his mother blinked sadly, looking back into her mug, “I just…I just thought the two of you would want at least _one_ together.”

Ben didn’t immediately answer, his mother’s words digging into a tiny wound he tried to keep tucked away. Swallowing sharply, he chewed on his lower lip before finding an adequate response—one that might satisfy his mother and himself.  “We have talked about it…it’s just our hands are full with Thea starting high school soon and Max with his therapy. It would be too much to throw another baby into the mix.”

He wasn’t lying per say…but he wasn’t telling the entire truth as well.

He and Rey talked about more kids once…but that was _before_ they started dating. Neither were too keen on expanding their own little families even if they found a romantic partner. As he said, it was just too much. Not to mention Rey loathed pregnancy, swearing to never go through it again.

But that didn’t mean he didn’t occasionally think about baby with his eyes and her nose, with the perfect shade of brown hair.

His mother’s hand patted his knee gently, gaining his attention.

Her eyes shined knowingly. “Ben, do you want another baby?”

He shrugged, turning his gaze back to Max. The boy was now laying on the grass and kicking his feet frantically and punching his fists in the air, like he was fighting off some unseen monster.

Ben lips twitched. A half laugh exhaled through his nose. “I don’t know.”

 

* * *

 

Slowly Ben pulled his car to a stop outside the townhouse, Max asleep in the backseat. After a long afternoon and dinner with Leia and Han, the little boy grew tired, falling asleep on the couch. It took some careful maneuvering, but Ben was able to get Max into the car without waking him.

Now he just needed to get him into the house with the same results.

Getting out and coming around to the other side, Ben unbuckled Max and carried him outside of the car. The boy’s head feel into the crook of his neck, arms curling lightly at the contact. Ben held Max with one arm as he went about locking and unlocking doors.

Upon entering the house, Ben could not help but think of his and his mother’s conversation. The narrow entry was crowded with lingering shoes and jackets and the living room now seemed small instead of cozy as it had originally felt. He finally noticed how awkwardly the dinning table sat just off the open kitchen. Every morning he nearly bumped into the blasted thing while getting his morning coffee. Looking past the kitchen, his eyes lingered in the arch to the den—a room he somehow slept in for two months, but now worked as a hastily thrown together home office.

He quietly came to the conclusion this house wasn’t picked for them…it was picked for ‘convenience’.

Climbing up the stairs, Ben’s eyes lingered on the photos they had hanging on the wall. Mostly of the kids, some of Thea as a baby and a couple from recitals, and a few of Max through the years. None of Rey or Ben with the kids, even though he knew in the back of his mind those existed.

And none of him and her together anywhere he could recall. Not that it was intentional—Ben had photos and Rey had them too, yet they were all tucked away in albums or drawers. He briefly wondered if he should find one—one from years ago, when she’d still tie her hair in those silly buns and he went through that weird guyliner phase—and stick it right amongst their photos on the stairs for her to find it in passing.

Once upstairs Ben walked straight to Max’s bedroom. The door was wide open, the boy running to grab his sweater before they left earlier that day. A few toys littered the ground, mostly planes and space related. Nudging the light on with his elbow, Ben entered the boy’s room and gently laid him on the bed. With tender and practice, he removed Max’s shoes and jacket, and guided the now half awake boy with putting on his pajamas. Tiny fingers struggled with the buttons, Ben helping him with the last few. Satisfied, Max climbed into bed, all his blankets and Porg tucked to his side.

Hitting the button for the constellation night light, Ben stood up to leave.

A high pitched yawn then came from Max. “D—Dad, can you tell me a bed time story?”

Ben blinked.

Did…did Max call him ‘Dad’?

He’d never called him that before, nor did Ben ever think he would. After all, Max had never known someone to refer to explicitly as his dad. However, he heard Thea call Ben ‘Dad’ all the time and knew to some extent Ben was not his father in the same sense.

Yet to Ben, Max was always his child.

The boy looked unaffected by his words or Ben’s reaction, instead he waited patiently for him to say something. Staring with those big hazel eyes and inquisitive pinch of the brow—just like his mother.

“Dad, can you tell me a story?” he tried again, rubbing his eyes tiredly under his glasses.

There. He said it again. It was no mistake.

“Uh, yeah,” Ben said, dropping back down to sit on the edge of the bed. “I can tell you a story.”

The boy smiled sleepily up at him, snuggling deeper into his covers as Ben began to weave together a simple tale to guide him to slumber.

 

* * *

 

“No trouble? _At all?”_ Rey said in disbelief. “Not even throwing himself against the ground? Or crying?”

“No,” Ben answered, phone pressed against his ear. “Some silent treatment, but overall a pretty decent day.”

“Wow. That kid, I swear,” she muttered from her end. There was some shuffling, followed by a tired groan from Thea somewhere in the background.

“How about you?” Ben asked, pulling the quilt and duvet back from the bed. He paused for a moment before climbing in, eyes lingering on the side closest to the door. It was weird knowing Rey wouldn’t be laying there beside him. Over the last year and half he’d grown accustom to her sleeping habits and oddly cold hands and feet nudging him in her sleep. “Thea drive you crazy yet?”

“No, not yet. Though she _did_ cry when we stood outside the opera house. I can’t imagine what it will be like tomorrow when we get a tour of the academy _and_ the opera house.” Ben could practically feel her eye roll at the statement. “She gets all that emotional overdramatic-ness from you, you know. Had to get her some tea to calm down her nerves.”

“How sweet of you,” Ben deadpanned, finally climbing into bed. “Just don’t get her hooked on coffee yet, because then it’s all over,” he said with a mocking bemoan.

Rey chuckled in agreement.

A lull of silence fell between the two.

Ben laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling, phone still pressed to his ear. He heard Rey breath lightly over the speaker, knowing she was there waiting for him to either say something else, or for one of them to fall asleep first.

“Max called me ‘Dad’ today.”

“Oh,” she said softly, “And did you freak out?”

“What—why would you assume—”

“Because I _know_ you,” she said astutely, been feeling the tenderness of her voice. “He asked me if he could call you ‘dad’ a couple of days ago. It was a very _serious_ discussion for a six year old. I thought at one point I was in trouble with how he was talking to me about it,” she said with a snort.

“And you let him?” Ben found himself asking quietly.

“Well of course—you _are_ his dad. You have always been his dad. No one else had ever held that role, or will except for you,” she said with a hint of pride. “Sometimes I think you don’t realize just how wonderful you really are to them, Ben.”

“You are too generous with your words,” he said tiredly, pulling Rey’s pillow to his chest.

“And you are not accepting enough of them,” she countered lightly.

She then yawned.

“Go to sleep,” Ben mumbled, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Rey hummed. “Okay…hey?”

“Yeah?”

“I miss you,” she breathed. “I feel stupid saying that like a lovesick dweeb, but I do.”

“I miss you too,” Ben replied.

The call then ended, leaving him alone once more.

And all Ben could think about was how he lied to his mother and the indescribable joy he felt at Max calling him ‘Dad’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAX CALLED BEN DAD! *sobs*
> 
> And now we are getting some thinking about the ~future~ vibes. Ben is just naturally melancholy about these types of things.
> 
> Let me know what you think! What little things did you catch from Ben's POV that you didn't expect? Comments and Kudos are always appreciated! I love discussing the fic with readers :D


	12. May 2003

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So another 3 parter!
> 
> This one is going to focus on a very specific and important day for Rey :) 
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

When Rey woke up on May 15th 2003, she immediately turned her alarm clock off and went back to sleep. Classes were over for the semester and she was able to take the day off, only working in the communications office every other day due to summer hours. There wasn’t a reason to wake up early or see anyone she didn’t want to see.  

And she honestly, from the bottom of her heart, did not want to see anyone that day.

Of course her roommates did not know this.

“Dude, do you still have the fan I loaned you?” Poe asked from the other side of the door, “Because I tried to make pancakes and I failed— _spectacularly_.”

Closing her eyes shut, Rey inhaled deeply. A hint of burned batter hit her nostrils, she cringed instantly.

“Yeah, it’s in my closet, give me a sec,” she called out tiredly, shucking off her blankets.

So much for not seeing anyone she didn’t want to see.

 

* * *

 

Once the pancake fiasco was taken care of, Poe practically bowing at her feet as she cleaned his mess, Rey got dressed and left the apartment. If it was only seven in the morning and Poe already begged for her help, who knew what would happen once Finn was thrown into the mix. Before she left, she made sure to leave a note in the fridge of where she’d be. Mostly for Ben’s sake because he seemed the most paranoid out of the bunch.

Her walk was short, heading to the campus library located two blocks away. She smiled politely at the librarian as she entered, the two knowing each other well enough for brief greetings. Walking to the back of the library, Rey sat on one of the stiff couches. Digging into her satchel, she pulled out her worn copy of _Jane Eyre_ ; a copy that traveled with her where ever she went, picked up at a thrift shop when she was in her early teens. Maybe thirteen? She wasn’t too sure. Some of those years blurred together until she gained enough common sense to find a way out.

Silently, she read.

She was there for three hours.

Alone.

And it was okay.

Because she wanted it that way.

 

* * *

 

 

She went to the coffeeshop near the library, deciding she deserved to treat herself to a simple warm drink despite the rising heat of the afternoon.

With some reluctance she bought a latte and a bagel. The barista tried to flirt with her, toothy grin and charming eyes, yet that did little for Rey. She’d never been attracted to the overly charismatic, or the lure of bright blue eyes.

She didn’t smile back at him, but tipped the guy nonetheless because she never _did not_ tip.

For the rest of the afternoon she sat in the café, reading more of _Jane Eyre_ and thought of how this was the beginning of the new chapter of her life.

Alone, independent, and next to happiness. Or what she believed to be happiness.

 

* * *

 

 

Later that day she arrived back to the apartment—Poe was gone, Finn was rushing around getting ready and babbling about a date he was running late to, and Ben sat in the corner of the living room reading. Finn left in moments with a hasty goodbye, Rey watching him leave with mild disappointment.

Quietly she hung her satchel by the door, followed by her jacket. She plucked her book from her belongings and began to make her back to her room when—

“Hey, I didn’t see you this morning,” Ben said, not looking up from his book.

“Yeah, I went to the library. Got some reading done,” she replied.

He glanced up at her, his eyes softening, “I know it’s kind of late in the day, but happy birthday.”

Rey's breathing stop for a moment. She didn’t think she told anyone about her birthday, nor did she want anyone to make a fuss.

Apparently Ben understood this as he didn’t press for more and there wasn’t any birthday related hidden or lingering in the apartment as far as she could tell.

“I ordered pizza before you came, so it should be here soon,” he said casually, returning back to his book.

“Oh, then I guess I’ll just read out here then,” Rey declared taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch.

“Cool,” he said disinterestedly. He flipped to the next page, nearly ignoring her.

However she noticed his eyes flicker to her every so often, as though checking in to see if she was still there. She didn’t know his motivation or reason for his nonchalant response—no one ever did—but Rey somehow knew not to take it for granted or probe.

“Cool,” she repeated more to herself.

Behind her book, Rey let herself smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it weird to say this chapter is one of my favorites? :) 
> 
> In case anyone was curious, it was Rey's eighteenth birthday. Our baby growing up *wipes tears*
> 
> Next one will jump nine years into the future! It will finally answer (sort of, lol) some of your questions too :D
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	13. May 2012

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second part and it finally addresses some things you guys have been asking for!
> 
> Also, I know I haven't responded to all the comments from the last couple of chapters; I am planning on getting to all of them once the week is over. Just know I appreciate and love every single one of them and desperately want to respond! Got some deadlines to reach by the end of the week and wanted to post this part before I am MIA from this fic for a couple of days!
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy :D

When Rey woke up on May 15th 2012, it was to the rise of bile in her throat. She barely made it to the toilet and emptied the contents of her stomach. For the rest of the night, she laid in the bathtub waiting for the next round of vomit to make its exit out of her.

To put plainly, this stomach bug was a bitch.

Furthermore, the person she would call in crisis was still not talking to her. A whole month of ignoring her phone calls and she ignoring his. It was almost as if he wanted their friendship to crumple to dust the fucking bastard.

All because of stupid Jyn and her stupid random visit and then Poe and Finn leaving and she had to make a fucked up—

Rey’s blood ran cold.

She mentally did the math her lightheaded haze.

Maybe…maybe this _wasn’t_ a stomach bug.

Scrambling out of her bathtub, she threw on some trainers, grabbed the first jacket she saw, and ran out the door with her wallet and keys.

Walmart was open 24 hours, right?

* * *

 

_“Fuck.”_

She tossed the stick into the trash can.

.

.

.

_“Shit.”_

She threw the second stick with the other one.

.

.

.

_“Fucking shit!”_

Her third one glared the same response as the other two—

_Positive._

She needed to call Ben.

 

* * *

 

 

“Well, you should make a doctor’s appointment—”

“ _I don’t want to talk about a fucking doctor’s appointment_!” Rey bellowed, her eyes bloodshot.

More snot and tears pooled out of her, she breaking down the moment she stepped into Ben’s office on the university campus. Wiping away her mess, her mascara smeared and face blotchy, she stared at him pleadingly.

“I need my best friend to tell me what the hell I am supposed to do,” she stated through her constricting throat as more tears begged to be set free. “Because I am _freaking_ out.”

Sitting on the sofa beside her, Ben pressed his lips together, his hands clenched. Swallowing tightly, he looked back up at her sternly. “I am telling you the logical steps, which is set an appointment. Decide if you want to keep the baby, maybe tell the father—”

A pitiful cry came from Rey.

Licking her lips, she inhaled deeply. “No.”

“No to the baby—”

“No! No to telling the father,” she grumbled, dropping her head into her hands. “I…know who he is and he is _not_ going to be involved.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t want him involved—for all concerns and purposes, this is a Virgin Mary type conception and the man does not exist!”

The room remained silent for a moment, before Ben stood up. “Looks like you got your mind made up—”

“Where are you going?” she grabbed his hand before he could go any further. “I need you right now.”

A half mocking, annoyed chuckled forced itself out of Ben. Lifting his head, his eyes were stern and jaw clenched. “You _need_ me? You haven’t spoken to me in _weeks_ , and suddenly you _need_ me.” He took a step back and dropped Rey’s hand. “What the fuck happened? We were fine and everything was fine, and you run off, no one hears from you for weeks and then whoop, you pop up declaring your pregnant! How the hell am I supposed to react, Rey?”

Crossing her arms over her chest, she stared back at him. Releasing a shaky breath, more tears silently rolled down her face. “I was _upset_. And I acted rash—I’m _not_ like this, running off having meaningless sex and dicking around.”

Sighing in defeat, Ben sat back down beside her. Comfortingly he brought her closer to him, Rey leaning her head on his shoulder. “I know you are not,” he muttered against her hair, “you are cautious and smart. That’s why I am so confused why this happened.”

“It’s stupid,” she said attempting to pull away from him.

Instead, Ben held her steady as more frustrated tears came. Realizing she wasn’t going to speak further on the subject, he gently pulled her to his side and held her close.

 

* * *

 

The two sat in the frozen yogurt shop a few blocks down, Rey eating her treat slowly. Her and Ben looked kind of pathetic, sitting in a brightly lit room with their yogurt they weren’t really eating but instead playing with, mixing and un-mixing the concoctions they threw together. Not to mention how oddly mismatched they looked—Rey with her dirty jeans and baggy sweater and Ben with his more polished look of a button-up shirt and pull-over.

“I know this might be the worst time to say it but, happy birthday,” Ben mumbled as he attacked a gummy bear with his spoon.

Swallowing another rise of tears, Rey glanced up at him. “I thought you wouldn’t remember.”

“Doesn’t matter if we are not talking, I was still going to call you on your birthday,” he said firmly. “Plus Thea was asking when we were going to see you again.”

“I miss her,” Rey admitted, “I never wanted…I never wanted to cause her any pain or worry. I feel like a selfish bitch for doing that.”

Ben didn’t argue with her on the sentiment, deciding to stir his frozen yogurt once more.

“I hate fighting with you,” he then said. “Especially when I don’t know what happened. Or what I did to cause it.”

Rey chewed on the inside of her cheek, debating if she would just admit it. Admit how Jyn with him caused her skin to crawl and be reckless— _impulsive_ — with her decisions. Almost as though she were a child begging for Ben to pay attention to her and not Jyn, so her method of action was to act out.

God, when did she become so childish and pathetic?

“I was…not in a good place. With—with Finn and Poe leaving,” she settled on saying instead. Not a lie, but not an entire truth. “I mean…they’re my friends. Some of my closest friends. Getting married and staring a life together…it just made me feel lonely,” she said quietly, hearing a soft exhale of understanding from Ben. “I don’t know…just everyone figuring out this life shit while I am still in a stupid job I hate where I work all the time, I haven’t been on a date in years—if ever—and I haven’t even seen the people I care most about in over a month,” her heart was beating faster and she felt the hot sting of tears in her eyes again, “And now—well fuck—now I have this _thing_ inside me! This thing that is going to mutilate my body from the inside out! A thing everyone claims is to be the fucking joy of your life—well it’s _not_.”

Tear began to fall down again, she tiredly wiping them away with the sleeve of her burgundy sweater.

“I have never felt so alone,” she admitted simply, feeling almost like a shell of emotions at that point.

A large, warm hand then laid on her own. Lifting her gaze, her eyes connected with Ben’s tender and expressive eyes, the usually guarded russet hue opening just enough for her to latch on.

“You’re not alone,” he said with utmost sincerity. “As a girl I knew once said, if you need someone on your side, you’ll always have me—even if I might be fucking shit at it.”

She frowned at him. “Who said that?”

“You, you idiot,” he deadpanned.

“Oh shit,” she winced, “that might have been the dumbest or smartest thing I’ve ever said.”

Ben rolled his eyes good-naturedly, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

His hand held hers for the rest of the day.

 

* * *

 

“Auntie Rey!” Thea cried out rushing to the woman in a neck-breaking speed. Her curls bounced ridiculously and her little headband fell off her head in her haste.

Behind her, Leia shook her head. Leave it to the girl to run out of the house late in the afternoon.

The girl clung to Rey like a monkey, speaking rapidly, trying to get in all the time she lost with her favorite—really only—‘aunt’.

“I’ve missed you so much! Daddy said you weren’t feeling well that’s why we haven’t been seeing you, but I told him that was silly because if you were sick we would know and we should visit you if you were sick because family always makes everyone happy. And I know Daddy and I make you very happy. But he said ‘no’ that you were busy but then I told him that we just needed to surprise you, but then he told me you don’t like surprises and I am not too sure if I believed him because I think Daddy like to make things ‘easier to swallow’ and sometimes ‘fib’—I mean that’s what Grandpa Han says but then Grandpa Han liked to tell weird stories I’m not too sure are true either like how there is a man who lives on the moon—”

“ _Thea_ ,” Ben stressed stepping down beside his daughter. “How about you let Rey breath a little, kiddo. She’s coming over tonight so you have enough time to talk her ear off.”

The girl beamed up at Rey before dashing back into the house for her things. From the porch, Leia became pensive, walking closer to Rey.

“Dear, I mean this out of concern, but you don’t look too good. I’ve never seen you this pale,” the older woman remarked.

Rey forced a smile. “Just a…stomach bug,” she said quietly. “It might go away.”

Leia did not seem to buy it, but nodded all the same. “Alright, well take care of yourself. We’ve missed having you around.”

“Uh—Mom, I think I forgot one of my books here? Can you help me go find it?” Ben asked suddenly, walking up the steps into the house. Leia frowned by followed her son nonetheless. “We’ll be right back just watch Thea for a moment,” Ben called out to Rey before disappearing through the front door.

Thea then came rushing back with her backpack, coming to a halt in front of Rey. Throwing her arms around Rey’s middle, the girl sighed happily.

“This is the bestest early birthday present ever,” she said quietly.

Rey felt her eyes well again, recalling how close her and Thea’s birthday’s fell together, with only a two day difference.

“Hey, can I let you in on a secret?” Rey asked.

Thea looked up bright-eyed, nodding enthusiastically.

“Today’s my birthday and seeing you was my birthday wish,” she told her conspiratorially.

Thea gasped with delight, “Then it came true!”

“But you can’t tell anyone,” Rey warned, “Only your Daddy knows today is my birthday.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t like parties,” Rey shrugged, putting it simple for a child. Thea didn’t need to know how she was orphaned and left to drift, and simply preferred to not to linger too long on the day. Making a fuss would cause more heartache and embarrassment than joy.

“Makes sense,” Thea nodded in agreement. “But I can still tell you ‘happy birthday’ and give you love, right?”

Rey brushed Thea’s messy curls away from her face before bopping the girl’s nose. “Of course, I wouldn’t want anything else.”

For the first time in weeks, Rey genuinely smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of went back and forth on Thea and Rey's birthdays being a few days apart. But I went with it. I think it would make birthdays less painful for Rey. 
> 
> And we now have a vague idea of how Rey got pregnant, and yeah we will figure out what exactly happened that day to kind of cause Rey to spiral....but we won't get to it for a few more chapters. Also Rey and Ben haven't really cleared the air just because they are talking again and cried over frozen yogurt. Lots more to unpack at a later date.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :D


	14. May 2021

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> Here is the last part of this three parter! :D
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

When Rey woke up on May 15th 2021, she burrowed deeper into Ben’s arms.

It was early—at least six in the morning—and he was still asleep.

His face was pressed into the pillow, softer and emerging frown lines smoothed out in his slumber. Light stubble speckled his face, some dark and some grey hairs, all mixed together. She was surprised he did not start greying until now, considering how much of worry-wort he could be.

Silently she connected the constellations of his moles and little scars.

Her eyes lingered on the faint scar above and lightly cutting through his right eyebrow. She knew where is came from…and the one that lingered on the left of his chin. She knew how he got all his scars and marks, even there for some.

It was oddly intimate to realize this.

Twisting out of his arms, Rey slowly got up. Her lower back popping and cracking once she sat up. A tiny sigh of relief escaping her, the weight of sleep leaving her body. She pressed a kiss to his temple and began to make her way out of the room, grabbing her light sweater on the way out.

Stepping into the hall, Rey paused, still not entirely accustomed to the new—well _old_ —house. Even after a couple of months, she found it difficult to adjust to living in Han and Leia’s house. _Technically_ , it was her and Ben’s place now, all the documents signed and together. Ben’s parents didn’t even live in the house anymore, instead in a little bungalow by the coast about thirty minutes away. Leia loved it because she could drink her coffee with a beautiful view every morning; Han loved it because it was a fixer-upper and he could do whatever the hell he wanted until he was satisfied.

Needless to say both were excited for their partial retirement.

Quietly she made her way down the hall, and peaked her head into Max’s room. He was asleep, however his glasses were on his face and his copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was awkwardly digging into his side. Stepping into the room, she went over and moved the book, setting it on his bedside table.

She then left, letting him sleep for a couple of more hours. Boxes still sat at the end of the hall, mostly photos and books Rey and Ben struggled to get around to unpacking. Life was a little hectic at the moment and maybe once everything settled, they’d actually redecorate the house.

Crossing the hall, she went to another room. Only to pause and turn the other way to the next room. Curled into a ball with a hoard of blankets was Thea. The fifteen year old already sprung into action with her decorating, posters and little craft projects hung up and attached to her walls. Her distinctly _dark blue_ walls. Thea got Ben’s old room in the move, and like her parents, never got around to repainting the walls and decided to just go with the original color. Even with all the ballerina pink thrown about the room.

Stepping back from the door, Rey headed off down the stairs, taking each step slowly.

She walked through the living room into the kitchen and went about making a small pot of coffee. Thea had recently discovered the joys of caffeine, claiming she needed it to be _alive_. And to keep up with her homework and rehearsals. Ben attempted convincing their daughter to take maybe one less AP course, but Thea was adamant she could excel in both European history _and_ literature…despite never being great at remembering historical dates or facts.

As the pot brewed, Rey made her way to the study. The room was once Han and Leia’s bedroom but Rey and Ben decided to keep all work related materials downstairs, giving Ben the option to ‘clock out’ and actually sleep instead of write for three days straight.

The room also housed all their books.

Carefully, she scanned the shelves. Classics happened to be lower than higher these days, reachable for the kids as Max started to read at higher levels and Thea started to actually like things beyond werewolves and vampires.

Her eyes then caught the worn out copy.

 _Jane Eyre_.

She plucked the book off the shelf and went back to the kitchen.

“You know you are not supposed to drink coffee,” Ben said when she entered, already pouring himself a generous mug.

Her lips pinched. “I know. Doesn’t mean I can not make a pot for my husband and daughter.”

His eyes narrowed on her, taking a little sip of his drink. “ _Sure_.” His eyes then traveled to the book in her hand. “Any plans for today?”

“Doing some leisure reading,” she answered. “But I think in the afternoon, I’d be… _okay_ with doing something.”

“Really?” Ben said, unable to hide his surprise.

Rey never liked to do anything on her birthday. Ben knew why, he’d know why for years. As Thea grew older, she kind of pieced the reason together. And Max…well Max didn’t really notice or care. He still wished Rey happy birthday and gave her a present.

 She shrugged. “Why not? I mean… I’ve never really celebrated my birthday in the past. Maybe thirty-six is a good place to start.”

“Well...if that’s the case, how about we have a nice dinner just the four of us...eh, five of us,” he gestured to her growing bump, “and have some cake. Nothing too stressful and no one else needs to be here.”

“I’d like that…I’d like that a lot,” she agreed quietly, taking a seat at the kitchen table.

He nodded once, proceeding to sit in the chair opposite of her. In companionable silence, Rey began to read her book while Ben woke up to the taste of coffee and started writing.

They were there for nearly two hours.

Together. Silent, yet aware of the other.

And it was nice… _comfortable_.

She liked it that way.

 

* * *

 

“I like the name ‘Jane’,” Rey said as she turned to the next page.

“It’s a good name,” Ben agreed.

“I think we should name her Jane,” she continued.

Ben looked up from his work, a soft shadow of surprise hidden under his rather calm demeanor.

While her second pregnancy was loosely following the same pattern of her first, Rey seemed less angry about the entire endeavor. She was more accepting of it this time around, however grumpy she was on the outside most days.

But to hear her already picking a name when the baby wasn’t due for another three months? Ben felt elation at her words.

“Yeah…yeah, I like it too.”

 

* * *

 

Most of the day was peaceful, Rey left relatively unbothered by her family.

They knew she liked to be alone on this day, and they tried their best to respect it. A thoughtful gesture Rey could not help but appreciate.

Dinner that evening was simple, nothing over the top, but something Thea and Ben threw together because they refused to let Rey help in any way. Max gave her a hug and a drawing of her favorite constellation, while Thea attempted to bake a cake. Of course the girl failed, and Ben went a picked up a store bought lemon cake along with brightly colored birthday candles.

Together all three surrounded her and sang as the three lit candle flames flickered. She faintly heard Ben say ‘make a wish’—

And Rey realized she had nothing to wish for because she had everything she needed right in front of her. All she wanted was to find something next to happiness, yet somehow she achieved it without ever noticing. She had a career, a home, and a family. She was _loved_ by her husband and kids without question.

Looking at their faces, the last tinge of abandonment Rey felt on this day faded into a distant memory. She was finally letting go, the belong she sought not behind her, but ahead. And right before her eyes.

Her eyes began to well, and she let herself smile. Pursing her lips, Rey blew out the candles—the first of many more celebrated birthdays to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't mind as I sob over Rey finally accepting her birthday.
> 
> And yeah, I caved and they are going to have a kid together. But that doesn't mean everything is sunshine and roses. It takes some time to get to this point for Rey and Ben.
> 
> (And yes, one day we will meet this Jane Solo. I promise.)
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :D


	15. April 2004 to October 2004

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING(But nothing really bad, I promise): Young adult Ben makes really, really, really bad decisions when it comes to relationships. Especially when it is concerning his relationships with Jyn and Rey. Please don't hate him, as we see in the future, he learns and becomes a pretty awesome guy. It just takes him awhile to come into his own.
> 
> So I apologize in advance for any second-hand embarrassment or cringe moments. Because lets face it, Ben Solo has so many cringe moments.
> 
> We also get some fun little character spotlights in this one! :D Some who we have not seen AT ALL in the fic this far!
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy :D

Rey would never admit it, but she loathed Jyn Erso’s existence.

Okay, maybe not her _entire_ existence, but at least her existence around the apartment.

“It’s because you are the woman of the apartment and whenever she comes over she encroaches on your territory,” Poe explained simply when he noticed Rey visibly sneer at the mention of Jyn.

Rey rolled her eyes at the accusation, choosing to ignore the remark.

“It’s not that…” she answered, squirming on the couch uncomfortably. “I…I just don’t like how she treats Ben. He deserves better.”

“That’s quite a bold statement,” Finn muttered, earning a narrow glare from her. He held his hands in defense. “What? We all know Ben—we freaking live with him—we know he is a handful—”

“Of _misunderstanding_ ,” Rey stressed.

Despite living with each other for almost two years, Finn and Ben never really clicked. Their potential of friendship never really blossomed, Finn too touchy-feely and well…obtuse at times for Ben. And well for Finn, Ben was—

“A frigid bitch needs a girlfriend too, Rey,” Finn reminded her, flicking through the channels on the television. He landed on TBS, a _Seinfeld_ episode playing and fading into background noise.

Poe sighed. “He has a point. Even the unlovable need love—not that I think Ben is unlovable, I just think he is…a bit of a rigid one. Maybe like a diamond in the rough?”

Rey raised an eyebrow, mildly amused and offended by his struggle to justify his friend.

“My main point is Ben deserves to have someone care for him, even if we don’t like her—”

“ _We_ —you said ‘we’,” Rey said hurriedly, jumping on the bit of information.

“It was a generic, universal ‘we’—”

“You hate her too,” she declared gloriously.

Poe snapped his mouth shut.

Rey gasped. “You do!”

He groaned, caving in. “She always drinks my _HI-C_ juice boxes,” he said with a slight whine. “Those are my afternoon juices!”

“What are you, five?” Rey asked, unimpressed. “You can just say you don’t like her, none of us would hate you for it—”

“Don’t like who?”

All three whipped their heads to the front entrance, Ben closing the door behind him.

“Um…” Rey and Poe glanced at each other in panic while Finn merely kept his eyes glued to the television. “Um—my lab partner, Bazine,” she answered, her voice raising an octave at the blatant lie. “She likes to leave me with all the work. Makes it difficult to keep up.”

“Oh,” Ben blinked apologetically, “you should contact your professor about that. Maybe see if your grade will remain unaffected.”

“Yeah…yeah, I’ll do that,” she said vaguely, earning a barely there Ben Solo smirk-smile as he went off to his room.

Poe shook his head. “Fine, I hate her. She treats Ben like shit.”

Rey could not help but grin at his begrudged answer. “I knew it!”

 

* * *

 

Now to set the record straight, Ben did not like Jyn the first time he met her.

Or the second. Or third. Or fourth. Hell, he wasn’t too sure he liked her now.

But for some reason, she sort of like him.

And for someone who was lonely and the only girl he ever felt compelled to pursue lived with him, was five years younger, and kind of saw him maybe more as a weird cousin than anything…he’d take what he could get.

And apparently he could get Jyn Erso.

But getting Jyn Erso was not fun or enjoyable.

It was kind of hell. And not because she was an awful human being. Because she wasn’t. Jyn Erso, when given the chance, was actually one of the most kind hearted humans he ever met. Her downfall was the fact she was unbelievably kind to strangers and dedicated so much of her education and research to foundations and charities, she did not know how to act the same to the real people in her life.

She was often completely unaware of those around her and unintentionally selfish.

Ben had a difficult time handling basically a one-way relationship. He had too many of those with his family members and this wasn’t helping the whole feeling like a ‘monster inadequate of love’ thing he needed to work through.

Realistically, Ben knew he and Jyn weren’t going to last long.

And he knew, that everyone else knew, she was never going to be the one.

But it was also nice to say he had a girlfriend and not receive looks of pity from his co-workers and peers. To just be…normal.

So he kept her around enough to have somewhat of a relationship and for both to do their own thing. Focusing on someone else until…well until he finally summoned the nerve to admit his feelings for Rey and just move on to actually—hoping—to be with her.

After all, none of this was going to be permanent.

 

* * *

 

And so that was how it went for about four to five months—

Ben dated Jyn.

And it wasn’t a major dating thing because she always was off on trips, so he saw her maybe a totally of two, almost three months during that time. However when she was there, she wanted to be with him all the time and hang around in the apartment.

Whether it was working on homework, watching _American_ _Idol_ (it was Poe’s _favorite_ and sometimes you just needed to cave to keep peace in the apartment), or doing laundry—which Finn nearly lost his mind about because he felt that was crossing _too many lines_ ; Ben shockingly agreed with him—Jyn attempted to make her mark in the apartment.

The majority of his roommates were at their last wits with her. Especially _Rey_.

He did not want to be bold and claim he and Rey were good friends, but they were definitely moving into that territory. They didn’t hang out much but it was due to Rey’s hyper focus on her college courses and Ben moving forward with his graduate studies. Academics and work kind of ran their life at the moment and both were understanding of that.

Rey of course wasn’t understanding of Jyn’s presence, to the point she’d openly walk out of the room when she saw the other woman. Their conversations were stilted, Jyn often patronizing Rey while Rey would unapologetically criticized Jyn.

 

 

Being the somewhat good person he was, Ben tried to talk it over with Jyn once they got a moment alone.

“Can you just be a little nicer to her? Like maybe not talk to her at all. Rey’s like a…like a lioness,” Ben decided that working with metaphors and analogies might work better with Jyn. Not to mention calling Rey a lioness was oddly fitting. “Like…she’s pretty calm and keeps to herself, unless provoked.”

Jyn raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest. “If Rey’s a lioness, then what am I?”

“What?” Ben blinked down at her, not sure where she was going with this.

“If Rey is a lioness, what-am-I?” she repeated sharply.

“Uh…a…” he opened and closed his mouth a few times before uttering, rather pathetically, “a hamster.”

“Rey’s a _lioness_ and I am a _hamster_?” she said slowly, accepting what she heard but not entirely pleased by it. “If I were you, I’d reevaluate that statement.”

 

 

Things did not get better between Rey and Jyn after that.

So Ben tried to go from a different angle.

“Why don’t you try to get to know her?”

“I know everything I need to know. She’s bitch,” Rey answered simply as she stirred the boiling pasta. She and Ben were on dinner duty that night, which meant spaghetti because they couldn’t really make anything else that was remotely edible together. “And why are you so adamant about it?”

“Because she is my girlfriend and you are….my friend,” he said lamely with a half shrug.

“Is she _really_ your girlfriend though?” Rey asked picking up the sauce jar and handing it to Ben. “Do you really like her? Honestly?”

He popped off the lid with some struggle and then dumped the sauce into the warm pan in front of him. “She likes me,” he said instead.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Rey grumbled. “Just because she likes you and you don’t like her means you get into a relationship. In fact, it is the opposite.”

Something about the way she verbally judged his relationship made Ben’s chest flame up. She openly disliked Jyn and made comments about how apparently she doesn’t treat him right, as though Rey knew what was right for Ben. And if she did, then why the hell was she his friend and not making any indication she wanted to maybe be more than friends?

Did she even like him in that way?

It was difficult to swallow because Ben truly didn’t know what Rey thought about him and he was too terrified to ever ask her.

So he did what he knew best—deflect.

“And you know _so much_ about relationships?” Ben shot back. “You’ve never had a boyfriend and the only people you hang out with are us,” he gestured to the rest the apartment. “So sweetheart I don’t think you are really qualified to question or answer anything!”

Rey set her wooden spoon aside, lifting her gaze to his. Her hazel eyes pierced into him and Ben knew immediately everything he said was dastardly wrong.

“Well I think I am well versed enough to know when someone is being treated like a piece of shit,” she spat, her jaw locking. “You can finish dinner. I’m not hungry.”

She then left the kitchen, leaving Ben with a sizzling pan and boiling pot, and a high temper.

 

 

So in spite, Ben didn’t try to defuse the situations between Rey and Jyn anymore.

Was that bad?

Well… _yeah_.

And did Jyn make herself a little too at home?

Yeah.

And did she purposely throw herself at him whenever Rey walked into the room?

Maybe?

Okay. Yes. But he knew it for other reasons…and not because she was jealous of Rey. At least that’s what he tried to tell himself every time his thoughts got a little too carried away on the ‘what ifs’.

Because Ben knew _why,_ the real reason why _,_ Jyn was acting out like this.

She’d been pressuring him for weeks…but he just _couldn’t_ sleep with her.

No matter how he tried to wrap his brain around it, he simply could not envision himself having sex with Jyn.

Or liking it.

It caused the opposite of a turn-on. A very harsh turn-off.

He had to do something about this.

 

* * *

 

“Just think of someone else to get going” Armitage Hux, his fellow grad student and peer said when the topic accidentally came up in their ‘small talk’ on their way to lunch. “It’s not that hard.”

“I think it’s a problem, especially since I don’t—you know—feel like it when I am with my own girlfriend.”

“It happens sometimes,” Hux said with a shrugged.

“It happens _every_ time,” Ben explained.

Hux had the decency to wince on the matter. “Well then…who does turn you on? There has to be someone out there who—”

Just then a few yards away, Ben saw Rey rushing across the grassy quad to the library. Her hair was falling loose from her three buns, strands dancing down her exposed neck. The August air was still humid, Rey not donning her usual oversized sweaters and wearing simple t-shirts and capris that she somehow made extremely—

“Dear god, man! The _roommate_?” Hux shook his head to the heavens, apparently catching Ben’s line of sight. “Seriously—if you wanted to fuck your roommate, you should have already done it. I mean she lives with you!”

Heat rushed all over Ben, he swallowing tightly. “It’s not like that—Rey is…well she is _Rey_.”

“I have no idea what that means,” Hux deadpanned. “Just because you say someone’s name twice doesn’t mean I know what that means.”

“I…” Ben’s voice cracked. “I can’t date her, or fuck her, or anything because she…she’s my roommate.”

“You are truly pathetic,” the ginger declared, unamused. “My suggestion is either break up with your girlfriend and actually try to pursue Rey, or think about Rey while you are fucking your girlfriend, because that is the only way your going to get your little friend up.”

 

* * *

 

So Ben did one of those…and it ended up being just a… _disaster_.

 

* * *

 

Three weeks was the longest Rey had gone without speaking to Ben. Which was fine because she didn’t want to talk to him if he was still subjecting himself to someone who clearly did not appreciate him the way he deserved to be appreciated, or be with someone who didn’t even try to understand him at all.

Only it seemed all her roommates decided to follow the same pattern and give Jyn the cold shoulder as well. Of course Ben noticed, but he never did anything about it. Because Ben was an idiot who didn’t know how to treat himself with some respect.

However, after a few months of Jyn’s presence and Ben’s awkward attempts at being a decent boyfriend, enough was enough and an intervention needed to happen. Get Ben cornered, get Jyn corner, and get this situation figured out and for everything to get back to normal once and for all.

Apparently Poe’s twenty-third birthday was the best time to do it.

“Okay—here is the deal, we are early,” Poe stressed, staring firmly at Rey, Finn, and a disgruntled Jessika Pava—an old girlfriend turned friend of Poe’s. “Ben and Jyn probably won’t show up until noon, the time I gave them. We need to break up into teams—”

“Teams?” Finn uttered, looking around the giant arcade. “Most of these are single player.”

“Just do as I say. Ben and I would always do teams for our arcade parties—”

“This was a normal occurrence?” Jessika interjected, “You mean, you guys were always nerds?”

Poe huffed, hands on his hips as he stared them all down. “Listen to your commander—If operation ‘Make Solo, Solo Again’ is going to be success we need to have a proper game plan!”

Rey sighed, but nodded along nonetheless.

Poe grinned at their reluctant agreement. “Teams need to be Pava and I, we will orchestrate and make sure everything goes according to plan. Meanwhile Rey needs to partner up with Ben and Finn with Jyn—”

“Damn it,” Finn grumbled, “Really? I am pretty sure I have only spoken  ten words to her.”

“Then it is perfect excuse to be partners, to get to know each other better,” Poe explained hastily, checking his watch. They only had less than ten minutes before they were due to arrive. “And you get to bash on Ben the entire time! We all know how you love to do that,” Poe then turned to Rey, “And you are the only one who can get through Ben’s think skull. Just make him understand what a terrible mistake he is making being with Jyn.”

While Rey was sure Ben knew about his mistake of dating Jyn, she didn’t quite understand why he still remained with her.

“Don’t you think this is a little elaborate?” Jessika asked, eye narrowing on Poe. “I mean, I know Ben. He would loose his shit if he found out you were doing this.”

“She does have a point,” Rey remarked, also not entirely fond of the plan either. “He might hate us more—”

Poe huffed, puffing out his chest, standing as though he were the leader of some major army. “Ben _needs_ to see we are serious and we care and we are willing to go the extra length—”

“Ben!” Finn exclaimed when the man entered the arcade. Everyone in their little circle shut up immediately, turning to the main entrance. He was dressed casually, if not a little messy. Something about him was not as put together as usual. Maybe his sweater was wrinkled? Rey couldn’t put he finger on it, but there was something off.

Noticing them, Ben waved awkwardly, walking towards the group.

It wasn’t until he was a few feet away they all realized Ben arrived alone.

 _Completely alone_.

They all stiffened when he came to stand beside Rey.

Poe coughed into his shoulder, looking his friend up and down. “Buddy! Hey! Uh…where is your uh,” he glanced at everyone else, who avoid eye contact with him all together, “your usual plus one?”

Ben chewed on the inside of his check, shoulders tense. He then nodded to himself, lifting his gaze from the floor. “Uh—we—we broke up.”

No one knew what to say.

Poe, the unspoken spokesperson for the group that day decided to speak up again. “Oh, buddy, I’m _so_ sorry.” Sympathetically he patted Ben’s shoulder.

However Ben frowned down at him. “Um—no— _no_. I broke up with her. She didn’t break up with me. It was my decision.”

Silence ensued for a second, followed by a dramatically relieved gasp from Finn.

“Oh, thank god! I thought this day would never come,” Finn admitted, breaking all pretenses for the entire group. “I thought we were going to be stuck with her for the rest of our lives! I can’t do that—none of us can do that! Oh my god she was awful!”

Ben’s eyes widened at the display, clearly not expecting that type of reaction, and from Finn of all people. “I—I uh don’t really want to talk about it right now. We are here to celebrate Poe’s birthday, so how about some Ski-Ball?”

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Poe whooped, pumped for some competitive games.

There were a series of nods and words or agreement from the group, Poe leading the way to the Ski-Ball station with Jessika and Finn hot on his tail. Excited chatter came from the three, about the games but their energy fueled by the news of Jyn’s departure.

Rey shared the sentiment, though in a more subdue manner. Slowly, she and Ben followed behind, naturally keeping in step with each other.

“It’s weird realizing you don’t like someone you are in a relationship with,” he said once their friends were a little ways ahead. He paused, inhaling deeply. “And I lied—she did break up with me, but I have been thinking about for weeks. So I guess you can say it was mutual.”

Rey bit her lip, glancing up at him hesitantly. Ben did not look distraught or troubled as one usually did after a break up…but he did seem pensive. Lost in his own thoughts.

“What…what caused the break up?” she asked bluntly.

Ben’s face fell. “It’s embarrassing…”

“You don’t have to—”

“I said someone else’s name in bed,” he winced out.

Rey’s jaw dropped, followed by a pitiful squeak of, “ _oh no_.”

“Yeah,” Ben said with a sigh. “It…it did not fare well and you know, it’s okay. I am fine. In fact I feel like this weight has been lifted off my shoulders since the breakup last night.”

“Good, that’s good,” was all she could say, trying her best to not let her brain conjure up images what exactly could have transpired the night before. “So—Ski-Ball?”

“Ski-Ball,” he nodded in agreement, almost as though the game were a peace offering between the two. “I’ll have you know I still have the highest score at my hometown arcade.”

“Well, I’ll have you know I _never_ lose,” Rey insisted, holding her chin up high. “So it looks like we have a little competition.” She raised an eyebrow, “Loser has to pay for winner’s lunch?”

Holding her hand out for a handshake, Ben took it, making the a deal.

(He lost on purpose and bought Rey’s lunch. Little did he know he’d be buying nearly all of Rey’s lunches for the rest of his life after that day. Give or take the next year of course…)

 

* * *

 

Life kind of went back to normal after that day.

No Jyn meant Rey and everyone else in the apartment hung out in the living room again and the weird tension was gone. Finn actually tried to be Ben’s friend (it was weird, but it somehow they got a repertoire going, mostly about music), and Poe could peacefully watch television again without having to watch any programs with Jyn who liked to hog the remote.

Ben still hadn’t gotten the nerve to speak to Rey about his feelings, but he was biding his time. He could work on being better for her, and maybe that started by trying to really be her friend rather than a weirdly attentive roommate. Find out her likes and dislikes. Her favorite music, books, and films…because he realized he didn’t know really anything about the girl who lived in his apartment for the last couple of years. Only some of her past and her current life, but not her thoughts or opinions. No one seemed to privy to those.

He was fine with waiting if that meant he could be with someone he genuinely liked— _not to sound completely cheesy_ —for forever.

He could be patient if he truly put his heart and mind to it.

Of course, everything had to go to shit again.

 

* * *

 

“I’m pregnant.”

Air left his lungs and the entire world got flipped upside down by the phrase.

A normal guy would have asked his ex-girlfriend if it was his, or say it was impossible. Try to shove away the potential shame or responsibility.

But Ben fucking knew it was his. Because the condom freaking slipped off. What was a cherry on top however, was Jyn forgot to take the morning after pill because apparently morning after break-ups really stir up the mind and makes one forgetful.

“And I don’t really want it,” she admitted to him. “So I’m giving you a week to figure what the hell you want to do. Keep it, abort it, give up for adoption. I mean it is only nine months of my life, and I am already a couple of weeks in. It’s not the end of the world,” she said with disinterest.

“I—I don’t know what to say,” Ben said, feeling his heart attempt to thump out of his chest, “I am—I am kind of freaking out here—”

“Okay, then I will just leave you alone since it looks like you _clearly_ need to process this,” Jyn stood up from the couch and went to the front door. “Call me once you know what you want to do.”

At that she left the apartment, leaving Ben alone in the living room to figure out what to do.

A couple of doors down the hall creaked open. Poe was the first to enter the living room, followed by Finn and Rey. Jyn came at the most inopportune moment when everyone was home and decided to shoo them all out because she had something ‘important’ to discuss with him.

Well no shit. This was beyond important; it was life altering.

Not bothering to look up at them, Ben shakily asked, “Did you all—”

“Yeah,” Poe murmured. “Yeah, we heard.”

“ _Fucking shit_ ,” Ben breathed, finding his head between his knees as he tried to calm down his breathing. “ _Fuck—This wasn’t supposed to fucking happen_!”

His hands were shaking, it felt like her couldn’t breathe— _he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t fucking do this, why did this happen, to him, to him of all people_ —

“Hey,” he heard Rey say, aware she was sitting next to him. “Ben—”

“I’m fine,” he said sitting up, trying to calm his breathing. “I am _fine_. It just—” He wiped his hands down his face, visibly shuddering.

“Focus on what is real—think about what is real, what you have control over, okay?” she said, ignoring his excuses.

He didn’t calm down immediately. It took him a few minutes…maybe ten, if he really thought about it.

He didn’t say anything else for the rest of the afternoon.

Instead he waited until he could breathe again, and all his roommates sat with him silently.

 

* * *

 

“I…I want to keep it,” Ben announced as they all ate their Chinese take-out in silence. He poked at his beef-broccoli with his chopsticks, pushing the cold food around listlessly. “I want to keep the baby.”

Poe smiled softly at him, patting his shoulder. “I know. I think we all knew your answer, Ben.” He set down his chow mein, and turned to Ben with a serious downturn of his lip. “But Jyn can’t be part that—and I am saying this because I love you, man. She won’t…she won’t love the little weird—because that kid is going to be freaking weirdo with you as the dad,” Ben snorted at the remark as Poe continued, “she won’t love the little weirdo the way you will. She’s not a mother.”

“So…I give her an out?” his voice was quiet, unsure if he could speak any louder.

“Well, yeah,” said Finn, sitting up from his slouch on the arm chair. “Let her leave. Give her an out on your terms before it can be spun on you.”

“You guys, this is thinking way ahead,” Ben muttered, glancing at all of them.

“You have to think ahead about these things,” said Rey, “because its not just you anymore. It’s you _and_ a kid to think about.”

“I got to do this on my own,” Ben said finally picking up a piece of broccoli.

Poe nudged him. “Not completely alone. Your parents will undoubtedly help. Not to mention your uncles. And you got me, Finn, and Rey to be your kid’s future Uncles and Aunt! Dude, we are all going to be so invested, you’re going to hate us.”

Looking up from his food, Ben felt himself relax at the words.

Maybe he could really do this whole single parent thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, we just streamlined straight through the Jyn-Ben relationship, which didn't really have a lot of Jyn-Ben moments because, well, there weren't many in the relationship to begin with.
> 
> And yeah, I think we all know what name Ben said in the moment... Ekkk. Kind of explains why Jyn hates Rey just a smidge. And you know the whole lioness conversation (which I can't take complete credit for, because I didn't realize it until editing that the convo happens in the hilarious and heartfelt Netflix show 'Sex Education'.)
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers--and there is quite a bit to discuss in this one!


	16. January 2006

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BABY THEA TIMMMMEEEE.
> 
> Yup, some cute Baby Thea in this :D
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy

“I don’t want to do it.”

“But you have to.”

“It’s so _pretty_ though.”

“Ben, you have to do it,” Rey insisted, handing him the slim pair of scissors. “She got her curls in a knot.”

“My mom is going to kill me for doing this to her,” he groaned. “She loves Thea’s curls.”

Rey slightly rolled her eyes. “We all love Thea’s curls, but little miss got them in a mess and you never tie her hair back—”

“Because she likes to play with her hair!”

“And look where that got us!”

She motioned to the eight month old sitting happily in the baby tub set in the kitchen sink. Thea gurgled at the two, stuffing her fingers in her mouth. She then slapped the hand back in the water. Water droplets sprinkled everywhere though neither Rey or Ben reacted, both accustomed to Thea’s messy bath time.  She then grabbed her ducky and began chewing in his head, giggling when the head got squished and came back up to form slowly.

Her hair was pushed slightly away from the water, but was getting sopping the longer Thea sat in the bath and her arms and legs kicked about.

“Fine,” he mumbled, shakily grabbing the knotted piece of hair—one both he and Rey desperately tried to untangled and failed—and snipped if off. “There.”

He handed the little curl to Rey, not too sure of what to do with it.

Tilting her head, Rey then reached over and brushed Thea’s hair with her hand. The curls flopped side to side and the cut wasn’t too noticeable, it just look like baby hair growing wildly. Not to mention Thea had plenty of hair to spare, practically born with a full head of dark curls.

“It looks fine and it’ll grow,” Rey assured him with a shrugged. “And if you are so self-conscious, just stick a hat or beanie on her.”

“Okay…” Ben set the scissors aside and grabbed the towel on the counter. “I still think my mom will notice.” He argued lightly, carefully picking up Thea from the tub and wrapping her snuggly in the towel.

Naturally, she began to slap his face with her wiggled free arm.

“Thanks, Thea. I sure feel the love.”

 

* * *

 

Once Sunday rolled around, Ben drove to his parents for their usual afternoon get-together. Almost an entire week passed since Ben gave his daughter her impromptu first haircut, and he had nearly forgotten it.

Until his mother cried out like a banshee at the sight of Thea.

“What have you _done_ to my baby?” his mother cried out as she pulled Thea out of her car-seat. Thea frowned at the aghast look of her grandmother, but drooled all the same.

“What are you talking about?” Ben asked, his eyes scanning over Thea in a panicked flurry.

She seemed fine—looked exactly like how he buckled her up less than forty minutes ago.

“Her hair Ben!” Leia declared, turning the baby around to face him. Of course, Thea looked relatively normal. No one else would bat an eyelash.

Then again, not everyone was Leia Organa Solo.

A pool of dread seeped into Ben’s gut. “Mom—”

“Did you give her a haircut?”

“Yes—”

“ _Without telling me_?”

“I don’t think I need to tell you when I cut my daughter’s hair,” Ben insisted. He looked over to his father on the couch for some support. Han simply lifted his book higher, blocking Leia and Ben from his view.

Typical.

He huffed, turning back to his mother and daughter. “She had a knot in her hair. I couldn’t get it out, so I just snipped it right off. It didn't feel right, but I had to do it.”

Leia sputtered for a moment, before regaining composure and hugging the baby to her. “Ben, it was a baby’s _first_ haircut and you just chopped off a curl? What is wrong with you—did you at least save the hair?”

Ben frowned. “Why would I save the hair? It’s _hair_.”

“My god Benjamin!” she huffed, a series of tears beginning to pool in her eyes. “You need to save these things—they are memories and milestones, even if it was an impromptu haircut because of a knot!” She combed her fingers lightly through Thea’s hair, sighing softly. “You want to remember these moments because she’s not going to be this little forever,” she sniffled, looking at him sadly yet adoringly. “Because one day she is going to be all grown up with her own baby—”

“Please don’t say that—that causes a really gross feeling in my stomach,” Ben pleaded as his mother stepped closer to him. Thea stared at him with her big eyes and innocent smile, clutching on to Leia’s chunky necklace.

“ And she will also forget to save the baby hair,” she said with a definitive shake of her head. “Because her father never saved hers.”

With a harrumph, Leia marched out of the living room with Thea in her arms.

Watching her go, Ben called out to his father. “Thanks for all the help back there, you really know how to pick sides, Dad.”

Han lowered his book, clearly still reading the same page as he listened to his son and wife argue over baby hair. He took off his glasses and considered his son for a moment before shrugging helplessly. “Fundamentally, I agree with you Ben. But I also see where your mother is coming from…” He closed his book setting it aside. “You know she already had it set in her mind you were never going to get married and were never going to give her grandchildren?”

Ben tried his best to not be offended. So instead he remained silent.

“Okay, so _yeah_ it didn’t happen the way any of us expected—but your mom was so happy when she realized she’d have a grandchild, and she loves Thea so much. I mean she always wanted a daughter.”

“I know,” Ben mumbled, never hearing the end of it.

“So she gets a little sentimental about all this baby crap and maybe it’s because she didn’t spend much time with you or whatever the fuck else, but she wants to try better with Thea. And maybe that means you have to save baby hair or some teeth or even take really lame pictures,” Han said in exasperation before giving a slight grin, “But I think your mom has a point.”

Ben hated it when his dad was right.

 

* * *

 

“Well, I think both your parents are right,” Rey said as Ben finished explaining the baby hair debacle. “Thea is not going to be a little bean forever and its important keep some of this stuff.”

It was Monday and Ben decided to come back to his apartment for lunch that day, he and Rey eating while Thea was taking her nap. Better for the kiddo to be sleeping and not see him, than be awake and start crying when he left.

“I know, I just…I don’t like thinking to far into the future now—which is weird because my mind has always been set on the future. But now everyone is saying ‘remember things’, ‘keep things’, ‘memories’!” He stabbed his salad, picking up some lettuce and chicken. “And I’m just thinking…can I just live in the now? Be with her now?”

Rey smiled softly at him. “Of course you can, Ben. No is telling you not to—they are also telling you to not let go so easily.”

He pursed his lips, before biting them together again. “Part of me now wants to go dumpster diving for her hair.”

“You don’t have to,” Rey said simply.

“The thing is I don’t even remember throwing away her hair,” Ben continued, “It was like I chopped it off and got her out of the tub.”

“Because you didn’t throw it away,” she said looking up from her food, “You handed the hair to me.”

Ben paused, eyes wide. “I _what_?”

She nodded. “Yeah, you handed the hair to me. I put it a ziplock baggie. I think I put it in one of Thea’s top drawers.”

“You saved her hair?” Ben asked, feeling a flood of relief coursing through his veins.

Blushing ever so slightly, she shrugged and looked down at her food. “Well, _yeah_. I saved her hair, what kind of idiot doesn’t save a baby’s first haircut?” she shot back with a smug smirk.

A gleeful smile pulled on his lips. “I could kiss you right now,” he said without thinking, clouded with joy and relief.

Rey cringed. “Please don’t,” she insisted with a half snort before gathering her empty plate and taking it to the kitchen.

Still sitting, Ben let himself ease for a moment.—if he messed up, at least he had Rey to set him straight and pick up some of the pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classic Scavenger Rey, holding on to sentimental things when Ben doesn't even give a second thought XD
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :)


	17. August 2025

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this might be the furthest we have ever gone into the future! Fun times :D
> 
> And a future important person in Thea's life will be introduced in this chapter... Also this is pretty Thea centric.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy

“You got your lunch?”

“Yes.”

“Your ID?”

“ _Yes_.”

“Your course schedule?”

“Yes, Dad. I do,” Thea stressed, glancing around the campus where students were walking about in a hurry to classes or chatting with friends. Crossing her arms over her chest, she stood up to her full five foot three height. “I have everything—you and Mom asked me all these questions before we even got in the car.”

Ben inhaled deeply, staring down proudly at his nineteen year old daughter. “I know, but I can’t help it. I need to make sure everything is okay—”

“I’m fine,” she said again, though quieter. “I’ve done the first day of college thing before—its not that big of a deal.”

Ben’s lips pinched before he nodded. “Okay…You’re right. You’ve done this before, you can handle today,” he said shakily. “But if you feel like you need to go or something is too stressful, you know how to get into my office, you can hang out there until I can get you home—”

“Dad,” Thea interrupted. “I’m going to be okay. Plus, I’ll see you at two for _Intro to Writing Genre_ ,” she assured him.

“Okay,” Ben said again, taking a step back. “Call me or Mom if you—”

“Dad, go to class!” Thea ordered before turning on her heel and marching of into the quad.

Ben sighed sadly, but listened all the same. She’d be fine.

 

* * *

 

Most of the morning was uneventful, mostly general education classes Thea was required to take, her other elective not until the Tuesday/Thursday block.

Doing her best, she pushed herself to not go running to her dad’s office when she felt things go south. She could eat in the quad and read—which she did, and finally understood why her mom would do the same all the time while in college. The campus was beautiful and deserved to be admired, even if it was only to sit under the large sycamore trees and read _Emma._

She was actually looking forward to her dad’s class, knowing he was usually in his element when teaching. To be courteous, she arrived a good ten minutes early, hoping to get a decent seat that didn’t scream ‘teacher’s pet’ but also a spot that gave off the impression she didn’t care. Because she did, or else she wouldn’t be trying the college thing again.

To her surprise, the entire front row of the class was filled. Mostly girls and a guy or two. She knew the English classes seemed to be popular amongst the girls on campus, but an _Intro to Writing Genre_ class? One only creative writing minors and majors needed to take the course. Weird.

Double checking the time, Thea found she was right—class didn’t start for another eight minutes. Maybe she got the classroom wrong or there had been a switch?

“Excuse me, are you all here for Professor Solo’s _Intro to Writing Genre_?” she asked, feeling weird calling her dad by his last name.

The girl sitting closest to the front, turned to her and frowned. “Yes—if you were looking to get a good seat, you should have came earlier,” she said sharply. A few more students filed into the room, chatting quietly to each other as they found their seats.

Thea’s eyebrows scrunched at the comment. “Class doesn’t start for another five minutes.”

“And Professor Solo is apparently always late—” Thea refrained an eyeroll at the knowledge of her dad’s tardiness— “But that doesn’t stop someone from wanting to get a good view.”

Thea felt like she’d been slapped. Did—Was this girl _implying_ —

“Excuse me?” she uttered trying to grasp what the other girl was saying without jumping to conclusions.

“What are you here to actually learn about writing? No one takes this class for that,” she said, earning a raised eyebrow from Thea.

“And they take this class for what then?” Thea shot back, earning confused glances from her other classmates.

“Because Professor Solo is hot!” another girl further down the row called out. “Everyone has a crush on him. He’s edging into silver fox territory. ”

An insistent need to gag rolled up in Thea’s throat.

_What the fuck?_

“But he’s _married_! And has _children_!” Thea sputtered, a shrill to her voice. She felt her face getting hot, as something furious boiled under her skin.

“So?” the first girl shrugged. “Apparently he has only been married for a couple of years and was single the rest of the time—things _can_ happen.”

Thea opened her mouth to retaliate, a twinge of annoyance creeping in her the longer she looked at the small gaggle of girls.

But then she remembered her grounding techniques—she couldn’t let her emotions get the best of her. Not again.

Taking a deep breath, she smiled sickeningly sweet at the group. Nodding, she took a step back. “Not even worth it,” she declared, earning a few confused glances. “Absolutely _not_ worth it.”

Just then the door to the classroom opened in the back of the room. “Sorry I am running late—my four year old was giving my wife and I a hard time about preschool. Apparently everyone there is ‘very dumb’.”

A series of loud chuckles and giggles came from the girls sitting in the front row, Thea practically sneering at them.

Ben paused when he finally looked up to see Thea standing awkwardly by the front of the room. “Is there a reason why you are standing at the front of the classroom?” he asked hesitantly, all eyes watching with fascination.

“Uh—” she glanced over to the front rows, narrowing her eyes at the gaggle. “No. No sir,” she declared. She then marched up to the back row, earning a curious glance from her father. She sat in the first free seat she could find, next to some dude in a hoodie.

She frowned at him. Who the hell wore a hoodie in summer heat?

Ben shook his head and began to go about setting up the room. He placed three stacks of syllabi’s at the end of each row, students passing them out. He then dropped one on Thea’s desk, already walking back to the front before she could say ‘thank you’.

He took a whiteboard marker out and wrote the name of the course. “Welcome to _Intro to Writing Genre_ —if you are here for an easy A, then you are in the wrong place and get out. We will be having a short story due every week. Yes, every week, no exceptions—”

Thea rolled her eyes.

Her dad continued to prattle on about the rest of the course, earning some frowns and quiet groans as students slowly realized, this _indeed_ was not an easy A.

“He acts like this is some seminar course,” she grumbled mostly to herself, “It’s a freaking introductory class.”

“I think all classes should be held to this standard—weed out the people who don’t take the subject seriously,” a low voice said beside her.

Eyes widening a fraction, she glanced at him with pursed lips. Hoodie Guy was slumped in his seat, a coffee cooling in front of him on the long desk they shared. His brown hair peaked out from the hood, she able to see some wave to it though more so _ridiculous_ volume in the do. Oddly the hood mashed the hair to his head. Classic, thick framed glasses donned his face, however the item appeared strangly out of place on him—like someone who wouldn’t _typically_ wear glasses.

“I think he is just being a bit of jerk because he know he can be,” Thea responded lightly, no malice in her tone. She wasn’t judging her father, she simply knew how he worked.

“That’s harsh.”

“Let’s call attendance,” her father announced interrupting the conversation.

A series of names were called, Thea recognizing none of them until the fateful, _Thea Solo_ was called.

She raised her hand and mumbled ‘here’, earning a few curious glances. It was obvious she had the same last name as the professor.

Sensing this, her father waved over to her. “If you didn’t know, Thea is my daughter. She will be joining us. In this class she is held to the same standard as all of you, and maybe even graded harder.”

That last bit gained a few chuckles and amused glances her way. Avoiding their eyes, Thea subtly sank lower in her seat. Leave it to her dad to unintentionally embarrass her.

“Speaking of family,” he continued, “I will not be here for Wednesday classes, I drew the short straw and I am the parent volunteering for my youngest’s preschool class.” Thea shook her head with a knowing smile; her dad didn’t get ‘short straw’, he practically _begged_ to be on the parent volunteer list. “But that does not mean class is cancelled, instead the Creative Writing department’s TA will be stepping in and facilitating the workshop,” Ben _explained_ simply as his eyes scanned the room. “Eugene Holdo, why don’t you just wave your hand, so they know who you are.”

The guy beside her then sat up and waved with a tired and bland, “Hey, I’m Gene,” and then sat back.

Thea hid her surprised well, but she could not help to scowl at the guy. So this was the _Eugene Holdo_ her dad would not shut up about, his ‘protegee’.

_"Oh Eugene is a writing genius. Can't believe he is psych major."_

_"I tried to convince Eugene to switch, I think if I keep on trying he might succumb to a double major. He's just too good to lose."_

_"Eugene now works in the office and it is_ just _so great to have someone around who just_ gets _it."_

_"Honestly, Eugene reminds me so much of me when I was that age."_

Eugene, Eugene, Eugene--Her dad seriously wanted the guy to be his kid or something.

Stubbornly, Thea decided then and there she would not care nor become friends with this Eugene. Especially if he worshiped the ground her dad walked on.

 

* * *

 

“Is it always like that?” Thea asked once she and her dad were sitting alone in the car.

Ben frowned, brushing his hair out of his face. “Like what?”

“Gaggles of girls drooling over you in class?” she asked bluntly. “Because it is bizarre and a tad bit gross.”

Her dad’s eyes widen, genuinely stunned by the accusation. “What? No…no. Why would you even say that?”

Thea gapped at him. “You—you’ve _seriously_ never noticed?” Her dad still looked lost and was flushing like a school boy by the second. God, is _that_ deeply in love with Rey he didn’t ever notice other advances or gained a natural instinct to run the other way? “Dad, to all those girls out there you’re a DILF.”

“A what?” he squinted at her, the term lost on him.

Exasperated, she sighed. Did she really have to spell it out for him? “DILF— ‘A Dad I’d Like To Fuc—”

“Oh!” he interjected before she could finished. He then cringed. “Now that I think about it…you might have a point.”

Thea nodded furiously. “Yeah, Dad. People think you’re hot. They’ve always thought you were hot.”

“Huh,” he muttered, taking his keys and putting them in the ignition. “I never noticed.”

“Obviously,” Thea huffed, “It’s just I’ve always been aware others found you attractive and I guess with you and Mom finally getting your shit together, I forgot people still found you good looking.”

Ben glanced at her, curiously. “‘Always been aware’? Thea, I didn’t date anyone when you were young.”

“But that doesn’t mean they didn’t want to date you,” she explained with a sad shrug. “Growing up so many women would try and convince me to put in a good word for them. Single dance moms, teachers, even the woman at the grocery store who’d give out samples.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” he asked.

“Because…” she tried to smile and failed, “Because I knew in the end it wouldn’t matter because you and Mom were going to be together forever,” she said with a chuckle. “So if it meant fielding women and scaring them away until it happened, then I was fine with doing that. I was fine with protecting you, Dad.”

“Thea,” Ben said, resting a warm hand on her shoulder. She peaked up at him, tucking her loose curls behind her ear to see him better. “You don’t have to protect me—you never had to protect me. And I am sorry you felt you had to,” he said, squeezing her shoulder in comfort. “But thank you for letting me know. I will try to be less provocative in class I guess—”

“That’s not what I was trying to say!” Thea exclaimed, earning a chuckle from her dad. “It doesn’t matter _how_ you look, they will still lust!”

“Okay, Thea,” Ben muttered with an amused expression. “Okay, whatever you say.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH THE DRAMA OF EXPLAINING TO YOUR DAD HE'S A DILF.
> 
> Only Thea could handle such a situation, lol.
> 
> Also, did anyone catch this is Thea's second time trying the whole college/university thing? Yeah...more on that later.
> 
> Now EUGENE HOLDO.  
> He will pop up every once in a while in some snippets set in the future. Thea doesn't like him...AT ALL. Like she really doesn't like him and a lot of pettiness will come out when Eugene is around. Is it because of jealousy? Well, yeah. He is also Amilyn Holdo's nephew and was raised by her.  
> Also his face claim is Joe Keery (aka Steve from Stranger Things--now talk about a redemption arc). LOVE THAT GUY.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :D


	18. June 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little quick one with some Rey introspection, Max, Ben, and brief mention of a new character.

From the kitchen, Rey watched as her son’s behavioral therapist guided the toddler into a matching game. She technically wasn’t supposed to be in the room because Max got easily distracted by her presence, but Rey could not help by linger nearby.

It had only been three weeks since the behavioral therapy started and two months since she received the official diagnosis. While process would have been longer and nearly impossible to squeeze in evaluations with backed up schedules and insurance policies, for Rey fate had been on her side in the form of Jessika Pava.

Despite never truly being close, the women had kept in contact over the years due to having the same circle of friends and it was Jessika who noticed the little quirks in Max’s behavior when she came into town for Finn’s thirtieth birthday party in November. Rey had never quite understood what Jessika’s job entailed, only hearing she worked and developed curriculum for children with special needs. It wasn’t until the women sat down and actually talked, did Rey realized Jessika was a head specialists and supervisors for one of the largest applied behavioral analysis services for autism spectrum disorders in the state.

Watching her son, Rey always knew he was a little different. He didn’t talk around the same time as most kids, and certainly not at the same time as Thea. His vocabulary was mostly ‘yes’, ‘uh-uh’, and ‘porgy’. Not even the word ‘no’ was thrown into the mix. He preferred to line up his cars and trains by color than actually play with them. He screamed when he heard the water turn on and only wanted to wear the same blue beanie all the time. Not to mention _Porgy_ , the only thing Max wanted by his side all the time.

But she shrugged it off. Max was boy, and she heard plenty of times—unsolicited of course— boys were just slower than girls and she should not compare Max’s development to Thea’s.

Ben on the other hand, disagreed, and firmly let his point be made after Jessika gave her number to Rey if she was interested in making an appointment.

 

“That stuff about boys and girls being different—especially at this stage of development— is bullshit,” he told her as they sat in his car, driving back to Rey’s place after the party. They carpooled together, knowing it was easier to face the battle of their respective children when they had each other to rely on.

Both the kids were asleep in the back, tuckered out from receiving too much sugar—Ben was probably going to kill Poe for that—and too much hugs and kisses—Thea practically ran the other way when her former Aunt Mara came looking for a hug and a kiss.

Rey sighed, looking over at him tiredly. Stubble was already starting to emerge on his face despite shaving it earlier in the day. “Are you saying you’ve noticed?”

“It’s hard not to notice,” Ben countered. “But I didn’t want to overstep—”

Rey snorted. “You ‘overstep’? Who are you and what have you done to Benjamin Solo, who is the emperor of overstepping?”

He didn’t laugh, instead remaining serious. “My point is I think you should call her, and make an appointment. See when you can get an evaluation for him. Better to see if it is anything now when you have the resources, than later down the road.”

 

And Rey being Rey… listened to Ben.

 

Now she had to figure out how the hell she was supposed to make this transition to forty-hours a week of therapy with at least four different faces a week while also maintaining her job.

“Don’t you work with videogames?” Luke brought up when she came over on her usual Thursday night outing to his coffeeshop, Thea in tow.

While she wasn’t initially up for the little trip, seeing Thea’s excited face convinced her to go while Max and Ben had their own thing; watching _Ratatouille_ for the hundredth time because the boy loved it.

“Technically, yes,” Rey answered as she ordered her and Thea’s drinks.

The ten year old sat in their spot, flipping through the pages of the book they were currently reading, _The Chronicles of Narnia the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe_. A simple and easy one, that already had Thea gabbing on about and one Rey read plenty of times to not necessarily read along with the girl.

“Isn’t that with a computer? You can probably do that at home.”

“I’m a project manager, my job is to keep the designers and coders on the same plan and in check,” Rey explained, dropping her wallet back in her purse. “I don’t actually do any creation, I just make sure the creating happens, approve it, and maintain the integrity of the concept.” She crossed her arms, thinking through Luke’s suggestion. “I don’t think I can do that from a home office.”

“Doesn’t hurt to ask, especially since you have been there for a couple of years,” Luke encouraged.

“I just don’t want to be on leave forever, to the point I get let go,” Rey muttered, as Luke went about making their drinks. “And I am pretty sure I will go insane doing nothing and just watching my son try to learn how to say more than ten words. I’m not some one who thrives when stagnant.”

“I don’t think anyone is Rey,” he assured her, handing over Thea’s iced tea.

 

While Rey wasn’t one to ask for help or for favors…she sucked up her pride and asked to be put on at least part time, and if possibly work remote.

And miraculously it worked, to an extent.

 

Wednesdays and Fridays she still needed to come into the office and over see work, but somehow it felt more like a win than being granted to be completely remote.

However, someone still needed to be at her apartment for part of Max’s therapy. Someone who was trusted and worked well with Max, considered family…

Which is why Rey found herself waiting impatiently in the kitchen for Ben to show the fuck up on his first day as ‘Max’s temporary guardian’.

“Great job, Max,” she heard her sons favorite therapist, Cassian, congratulate. “Lets go ahead and start putting away the blocks in the bin…”

The sound of the front door unlocking alerted Rey that Ben had finally decided to show up.

“Sorry, I’m late,” he said quietly towards Rey, creeping past the session still going on in the living room. She picked up her purse and tote bag, already dressed for work. He glanced at her attire; a pale blouse with sharp navy blue blazer and fitted slacks. Her hair and make-up was done, and she wore modest heels, overall looking more put together than she usually did.  “Wow, I haven’t seen you look this nice since April.”

She rolled her eyes, adjusting her blouse. “Because this is the first time I am really going back to work _since_ April,” she shot back. “Let me introduce you,” she said, nudging Ben forward into the living room. “Uh, Cassian this is—"

“Bahn!” Max cheered once he saw Ben, already scrambling to go over to him.

Instinctually, Ben crouched down and caught Max in his arms and toddlers grubby hands weaving into the man’s hair and playing with it. A quiet “ _Hey buddy_ ” came from Ben as he hugged Max back.

Rey fought a smile at the two, turning back to Cassian who watched the interaction curiously. “Uh, Cassian, this is Ben—Max’s godfather,” she hastily explained, feeling a little awkward actually using the title Ben technically had in her son’s life. “He will be here when I’m at work on Wednesdays and Fridays—if you have any questions or concerns, Ben can answer them probably better than I can,” she said jokingly, though neither man laughed. “Um sometimes, his daughter will be with him—but she’s at Dance Day Camp for most of the summer and you might not even see her at all—”

“Rey— _work_ ,” Ben reminded her firmly, knowing she was nervous about leaving Max but also about returning to work all together.

“Right,” she said, slowly back away. “Well, I need to go, love you both,” she told Max and Ben. Her friend waved at her while her son merely blinked back.

“Say ‘bye, Max’,” Ben prompted gently, “Say ‘bye’ to Mom.”

Pursing his lips, the boy turned back to the blocks still littered across the floor.

Rey tried her best not to be downhearted by her son’s lack of response. Quickly she said her goodbyes and left.

Everything would be fine. Ben was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY GOD REY WHY DONT YOU JUST FREAKING MARRY HIM ALREADY? Ben is seriously great and a pining fool.
> 
> As you can see, there was a reason I introduced Jessika Pava a few chapters ago! She helps Rey get her foot in the door with assessments and evaluations which usually can take up from six months to a year, and Rey gets it done in a speedy fashion. 
> 
> And we finally find out what Rey does for a living! I originally had a scene about it in the original oneshot, but I cut it as it didn't add to the story. Just to clarify, she doesn't have the same job she did back in Thea's dance recital snippet. She kind of jumps to a few different careers and jobs until she is on bedrest with Max when she finally figures it out a little...with the help of another character we will meet soon!
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; I love discussing the fic with readers :D


	19. December 2025

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS ASKING HERE IS LOTS OF EUGENE, JANE, THEA, MAX, AND REYLO. YOU'RE WELCOME.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy :)

Ben noticed it immediately. It’d be hard not to with everyone converged into one space.

The hostility, the tension, the glares.

The loving gazes, the smiles, the giggling.

His eldest, Thea Solo _loathed_ Eugene Holdo with an unrelenting passion.

And Jane Solo, his little four year old, _adored_ Eugene Holdo with childlike purity.

Maybe it wasn’t the wisest idea to invite Eugene over for their family’s Christmas Eve dinner. However he felt for the young man, his aunt working on the holiday. And it wasn’t even his idea, more so Rey’s when she heard the news. She’d been stopping by to pick up Ben for their lunch date when Eugene was mentioning his plans for the holidays to Ben. Rey then promptly invited the TA over for Christmas dinner, not leaving any room for arguments.

Though the moment he and his wife were alone, he brought up the odd sort of… _interactions_ he’d witnessed between Thea and his favorite TA.

“She is just… _mean_ ,” Ben said plainly, “ridiculously mean and I know Thea can be…”

Rey smirked knowingly as she buckled up. “Bitter, sarcastic, contrary, perverse—”

“ _A handful_ ,” Ben interjected, “I was going to say ‘a handful’ but all those work too.” He paused, lost in thought for a moment. “And Eugene…Eugene doesn’t even bat an eye, he just tells her, rather bluntly, she is being stupid or a brat.”

Rey raised an eyebrow. “And you just let another man call our daughter ‘stupid’ and a ‘brat’?”

He huffed, not knowing how Rey would react. “They haven’t necessarily had these conversations in front of me…just _near_ me. And I overhear—”

“Ben!” Rey’s eyes widened, though a small laugh of disbelief came from her. “Are you eavesdropping on Thea?”

“No— _yes_ ,” he slumped in his seat, “Its really hard not to, especially when Thea is trying to get on the right foot again—”

“You can’t let what happened before hinder how she is doing now,” she said tiredly, not the first time they’ve had this conversation. “She is _learning_ from her mistakes, Ben. She is trying to be better.”

“I know, I know,” he muttered, “And I can’t judge because I was the same way.”

“Exactly,” she said, putting the key in the ignition. “And for all you know, she likes him and this is her way of showing it.”

Ben chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. “Yeah, right. Thea liking someone? I highly doubt it.”

Her eyes narrowed, halting before reversing out of her parking spot. “Why is that so hard to believe? Thea has liked plenty of boys before.”

“Yes, _boys_ and it was infatuation,” Ben answered, proud in how well he knew his daughter. “Once she got to know their personality, all the heart-eyes were gone and it was just Thea disappointed.”

Rey’s eyebrows rose, not quite believing what she was hearing. “You—you…you _seriously_ think Thea can’t learn to like someone?”

Ben sighed, tilting his head to the side in thought. “Maybe? I…I don’t know. I have just always figured she _wouldn’t_ ,” he pursed his lips, “Let me put it this way, and don’t take this the wrong way, I’ve never thought Thea will be the one to give us grandkids.”

Rey gaped at him, before snapping her mouth shut. She shook her head furiously, and looked back at him. “You sound _just_ like your mother.”

“Excuse me?” Ben uttered, mildly wounded by the accusation.

“You do!” Rey cried out, “She says the same thing about you all the time—“she lowered her voice slightly, and shifted a bit of her accent, giving her best Leia impression, “‘I never thought Ben would find someone, I neve thought he’d give us grandbabies. Never Ben, never.’”

Ben cringed. “Never do that again, that was terrifying.”

“Then don’t be like your mother, and maybe give your daughter a chance to prove you wrong.”

“With _Eugene_?” Ben asked, still not believing her initial claim.

“With anyone.”

Listening to his wife, Ben kept his eyes opened and let himself be open to the thought of Thea maybe liking Eugene, to at least given reason to her hostility. However the longer he ruminated on the idea of Thea and Eugene being ‘together’ the more he _liked_ the possibility. Eugene, his _favorite_ student and TA, a decent guy with a brain in his head, dating Thea seemed like a dream come true. He knew the young man well and trusted him, and Thea—well, Thea could use someone to argue with her every once in a while and tell her when she was being ridiculous. They could be absolutely _perfect_ for each other.

Of course Christmas Eve dinner had to ruin all of Ben’s fleeting fantasies.

“Why the _hell_ is he here?” Thea asked, pulling Ben away from the festivities. Her grandparents, uncles, and aunts were all there, the gathering happy and joyful despite the young woman’s apparent distress. “He’s not a Skywalker or a Solo! He should not be here.”

Ben frowned at his daughter “Neither are Finn and Poe—”

She crossed her arms over her chest, standing to her full height. “You know what I mean, Dad.” Her dark eyes squinted at him furiously. “ _Why is he here_?”

“Because your Mom invited him,” Ben said, knowing he throwing Rey under the bus. But she was better at handling Thea’s moods.

“Somehow I _don’t_ believe that,” she said nostrils flaring.

“I’m telling the truth,” he insisted, his eyes drifting to where Rey was talking to Eugene and Jane seemed to immediately latch on to the young man’s side. “His aunt is working on the holiday, and no one should be alone on Christmas, Thea. You know that.” He then motioned behind her, to where Eugene crouched down to talk to Jane, the usually rambunctious four year old becoming shy under the young man’s attention.  “And look, it seems like Jane really likes him.”

Thea scoffed at the sight. “That little traitor,” she grumbled, scowling at the scene.

“Be like Jane,” Ben then said, realizing how dumb the statement sounded the second it left his mouth.

Thea whirled around, her dark short curls bouncing up and down by her chin. “Be like a _four year old_? Sound advice, Dad.” On that note Thea marched away to the cookies, grabbing a handful. She then sat in the corner of the room, glaring at her little sister and her apparent nemesis.

 

* * *

 

“Do you want to play tea party with me?” Jane Solo asked, blinking big hazel eyes at Eugene. Her little hands clasped at his sport jacket, tugging on it even though he was level with her on the couch. 

While he was aware Jane was technically Thea’s half-sister, the girls were similar in appearances with sharp eyes and dark curly hair. It was difficult for Eugene to not think of how Thea looked at Jane’s age. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Thea sitting in far off corner of the room, her brother coming over to sit beside her. By the looks of it the two were close, closer than most siblings with their age gap would be.

Part of him wanted to go talk to her, try and make conversation beyond whatever subject she decided to criticize at the moment. That was the thing with Thea; she was always talking and sharing her opinion, whether that be good or bad, and never let him actually get a real word in besides ‘well, that’s stupid.’ He’s pretty sure he’s never spoken to her for more than few a minutes, but it was as though the instant they met she had some sort of secret vendetta against him.

Another tug on his jacket, brought his attention back to Jane. She was a persistent little girl, despite her initial shyness around him…and apparently was _determined_ to hog all his attention.

“Come on, let’s play tea party,” she insisted, her voice little but demanding. Hiding her mouth behind her hand, she whispered, “I’ll let you be _Ion Man_ ,” she said, the r disappearing in her pronunciation.

Eugene blinked down at her, surprised. “ _Iron Man_? At a tea party?”

“Only superheroes go to tea parties,” she said simply, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh,” Eugene nodded, playing along. “Well, then who is usually _Iron Man_?”

“Gwandpa Han,” Jane say rocking on her feet, “But we don’t tell him.” She giggled sneakily, covering her face with both her hands.

“Oh no, I don’t want to take your grandpa’s superhero—how about I be,” he thought for a moment, “Um, I don’t know Doctor Strange?”

Jane shook her head, her pigtails whacking her face. “No, Daddy’s Dotor Stwange and Mommy’s Captain Mavel. You can’t be them.”

“How about Max and Thea?” Eugene tried again.

“Max’s Spiderman and Thea’s Ga-Gamooa,” Jane struggles with the last word, unable to say ‘Gamora’. Leave it Thea to pick the hardest superhero for a four year old to say.

“Gamora,” Eugene supplied, Jane nodding enthusiastically in return.

“Yup,” she said popping the ‘p’. Her eyes then opened wide, an astonished gasp escaping her. “I know! I know!” She patted her hands nonsensically on his thigh, excited by her little thought. “You can be _Star Lood_!”

Before Eugene could respond, Jane was already grabbing his hand and forcing him to follow her.

So much for talking to Thea.

 

* * *

 

“She’s a tiny, tiny traitor,” Thea declared to Max, glaring at Jane, who began to lead Eugene to her room to probably play dolls.

“Can I have the last snickerdoodle?” Max asked, not really seeing what Thea was grumbling on about. To him, Jane was just being her usual self, talking like she was bug kid and forcing people to become her friend. Oddly enough, the youngest Solo happened to be the most extroverted in the family, arguably in a family full of introverts.

“Sure.” She handed him the cookie, already eating at least six. Grandpa Han had given her a look when she snatched the plate, but made no move to stop her. His loss. “She just had to make _Eugene_ ,” she spat his name, “her little friend—”

“She’s four. Everyone’s her friend,” Max said between bites.

“Not her sister’s enemies!” she replied sharply, “Eugene is my enemy, and he should be yours too.”

Max shrugged. “I like him.”

“No you don’t,” Thea said sternly, turning in her seat to face him. She grasped him by the forearms, eyes connecting with his. “He is Dad’s favorite, and he’s annoying , and super smart, and he thinks he can tell me I’m _harsh_ and _dumb_ —”

“I think he’s cool,” Max said, completely disregarding his sister’s statements. He shook off Thea’s hands and sat, watching everyone else at the party. “And you are harsh and dumb.”

Thea sighed deeply, reminding herself to not get upset. “I… _know_ I can be harsh and dumb,” she then paused, eyeing her brother curiously. “How do you know he _is_ cool? You’ve never even talked to him.”

Max picked up his hot chocolate and took a sip. He sighed happily at the taste, Thea waiting impatiently for him to get around to answering her. “He’s in Dad’s office on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school,” he explained, “Gene and I talk about _Star Trek_ ; he knows Klingon and is teaching me.”

She frowned at the familiar use of ‘Gene’.

“You’re friends with him?” she groaned. “Why does _everyone_ in this family love him?” She huffed, rubbing her hands on her thighs. “First Dad, then Mom, and then Jane, now _you_?” She tried her best to hide her disappointment, but it was difficult to hid anything from Max. He was her best friend. “You’re supposed to be in my corner Max. Always my corner, and me in yours.”

“I can’t when you are a dummy,” Max said bluntly. “You can be a real dummy, Thea. Sometimes I think you’re the thirteen year old. Not me.”

“ _Okay_ , Max.”

 

* * *

 

Taking a deep breath, Thea walked up the stairs to Jane’s room. She could be civil and it wasn’t like she was going to talk to Eugene. She was just going to peak her head in and check in on Jane, like Mom asked. Conversation did not need to ensue.

Cracking the door open, Thea was surprised at to see a tea party commenced.

Sitting primly in her tike chair, was Jane, wearing her princess crown proudly in her head. Meanwhile Eugene ‘sat’ in one of the other tike chairs, too large to properly sit so it was more of an awkward crab crouch.  A pair of swimmer goggles sat on his head, pushing all his hair up and out in various spurts.

“Would you like milk Star Lood?” Jane asked, holding out the little cup of _actual_ milk.

Eugene looked at the little plastic spout questionably before shaking his head. “No thank you. I’m lactose intolerant,” he said with an apologetic wince.

Jane, as though she knew what those words meant, nodded sagely in understanding.

Thea tried her best to contain the annoyance she felt spike inside her at the scene. Though it was not done well. “Janie—I thought tea party was only meant for family?” Thea decided to interject, stepping into the room with a strained smile.

The four year old looked over at Thea with bright eyes and proud smile, “I like Gene, he can be a superhero.”

Her jaw tightened, Thea eyeing her younger sister carefully. “Janie—”

“You are _not_ invited to the tea party, Thea,” Jane reminded her, her chin held up proudly and arms crossed over her chest. She turned to Eugene with a sweet face, “Star Lood and I are having fun!” she declared, sitting back down stubbornly.

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Thea excused herself, knowing it best to not get into an argument with Jane over her tea party guests.

 

* * *

 

“Don’t eat all the cookies,” Rey warned Thea as she served herself more hot chocolate, “Don’t want to get a stomach ache.”

“I’m an adult—I can eat cookies for every meal if I want,” Thea argued with little enthusiasm, now piling the chocolate chip cookies on he plate.

Rey raised an eyebrow, “Yeah…that is some chaotic evil mentality right there. Let’s tone it back chaotic neutral, okay?” Noticing Thea was still glaring holes into her plate of cookies, Rey nudged her lightly with her hip. “Hey, what’s got you all upset? It’s Christmas Eve—you love today.” To further prove her point, she poked the fuzzy reindeer nose of Thea’s Rudolph sweater.

Thea shrugged, before cracking the still façade she poorly projected. “Why did you have to invite Eugene Holdo?”

Rey’s brows furrowed, “Why does it matter who I do and don’t invite? He’s a very kind young man—he’s playing with your sister Thea—anyone who does that _willingly_ must be lonely or an unbelievably kind soul.” She took a sip of chocolate, looking down at her daughter curiously. “But please explain this…hostility you have towards him because I am genuinely confused,” she said bluntly, not bothering to dance around the subject.

Huffing, Thea dropped the plate of cookies on the counter, turning to her mother with tight set jaw. Inhaling deeply, she took a moment before deciding to speak. “He is _obnoxiously_ perfect in everyone’s eyes, and it is annoying everyone just _loves_ him for some apparent reason and I don’t get it.”

Blinking at her, Rey pursed her lips. “Yeah…that still doesn’t give me an answer. You just complained that people love him—”

“You guys love him, my family. And my family is _my family_ , not his,” Thea declared petulantly. “We don’t just let someone insert themselves into a family—”

“Okay I’m going to stop you there, before your jealousy takes an ugly turn,” Rey interrupted sharply. “Your father and I invited him because he is a great person who deserves to have a good Christmas. If you are upset because he is here and he isn’t technically ‘family,’ well look around Thea, half the people here aren’t related to you.”

The young woman sighed tiredly, realizing how insensitive and obtuse she sounded. “That’s… that’s not what I was saying.”

Biting her lips together, Rey eyed Thea carefully, her daughter shifting under her gaze. She played with the rim of her cup, attempting to quietly understand what got Thea in a tussle of emotions over Eugene, and not the good kind of emotions. “I don’t understand where this jealousy came from. You are usually such a giving spirit, Thea. And I think if you actually got to know him, you’d like Eugene a lot.”

Just then Max came ambling over, going straight to Rey, “Mom, Uncle Poe tried to hook up a gaming system to the TV and it’s not working.”

“Who brings a gaming system to a Christmas Eve party that is _not_ at their house?” Thea asked, surprised by this development.

“It’s your Uncle Poe. Wherever he is, a gaming system is sure to follow,” Rey answered, before turning to her son. “Tell him I’ll be there in a minute and _don’t_ touch anything. It took me hours to program that television and I will not let him destroy all my hard work.” The thirteen your old nodded and rushed off to his uncle again. Glancing over at Thea, Rey gave a sad smile. “Whatever it is that is bothering you about Eugene is something to do with you and not him. Really think about that.”

She then left, leaving Thea standing by the desserts alone.

 

* * *

 

“I just need to use the restroom Princess Jane,” Eugene explained again as he left the room.

“Okay, come back!” her small voice called out cheerfully, if not a bit stern.

“Wouldn’t think otherwise,” he mumbled back, leaving the door open a crack after him.

With a struggling snap, he was able to get the goggles off his head. Blood flow soon returned to his head, Eugene sighing happily in relief. Rubbing his forehead, he felt a distinct imprint of the suction. Ruffling up his hair, the suction marks were then covered and he felt a little less self-conscious.

Looking around the hall, Eugene quickly realized he had no idea where the bathroom was located. Deciding to make quick judgement, he went to check the room closest—the one just to the right of Jane’s. As he turned the doorknob, he heard a faint sniffle from inside.

Hesitating for a moment, Eugene listened again.

Another sniffle.

Wondering what happened, if anyone needed help, he cracked open the door.

He quickly discovered it wasn’t the bathroom; instead a bedroom, one of which that had Thea curled up on the bed crying. He wasn’t too sure what expected Thea’s room—not that he thought about Thea’s room on the daily—but dark walls, an odd collection of ballet paraphernalia, and an absurd amount of records piled on her desk was not it.

“Leave me alone, Mom,” came a grumble from under a pillow.

“Uh, not Mom,” he uttered apologetically by the door.

At the sound of his voice, Thea swiftly sat up. Glaring hard, she point to the door. “Get out.” While usually a force to be reckoned with, it was difficult to take her seriously when her face was puffy and tear stained.

Pinching his lips together, Eugene shook his head. “No, I’m not leaving. I’ve been trying to find a way to talk to you all night.”

“And you think now is the perfect time to do that,” she said, her nose congested.

“No time like the present,” he said with a shrug.

“Ugh, you’re one of _those_ people,” she grumbled, standing up from her head. She went to her desk and grabbed a tissue box hidden behind her stack of records.

Aggressively, she blew her nose.

Eugene winced.

“Well, out with it—what the hell did you want to talk to me about,” she held her hand up, a knowing sadistic smile emerging. “Wait, I know—why I am such a bitch to you, right? Because that seems to everyone favorite question of the day.” She blew her nose again. Dropping the used tissue in the waste, she lowered her voice, mockingly. “‘Why is Thea being a bitch to nice guy’?” Rolling her eyes, she shrugged. “I don’t know; you tell me.”

Eugene’s eyebrows rose at the self-deprecating statement, trying to find the right footing in the badly attempted conversation.

“I…” he sighed, rubbing his hands together. “Okay, I _was_ going to ask that, but not in those words. That’s a little harsh in my opinion.”

“Of course it is.”

Eugene held back his tongue, silently begging it to not say anything to make the situation to become worse. “I am…why…” he licked his lips, dropping his gaze away from her. It was easier to speak to her when he wasn’t looking directly at her and her oddly perceptive eyes. “I have only spoken maybe fifty words to you in the span of time we have known each other and I don’t know where I went wrong.”

Thea didn’t say anything, just waiting for him to continue, staring hard at him but thankfully not with her usual glare.

“You just…hated me from the beginning which really confused me because your Dad speaks so highly of you, and says you are so caring. Which I don’t see at all—all I see is a girl who gets what she wants and when she wants it. I don’t see this caring spirit or honest girl your Dad raves about—I just don’t. And it’s kind of sad because I for some reason thought there was more to you. Someone with depth and reason.” He wasn’t too sure where he was going at that point, realizing he went off on a different tangent about her, one he wasn’t expecting himself to dive into. Clearing his throat, he addressed the matter at hand once more.  “So yeah Thea,” he said with an huff, “you have been sort of a bitch to me and I just want to know why.”

She blinked owlishly at him, absentmindedly wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “He—My Dad really says that about me?”

Eugene nodded. “All the time. Won’t stop. It’s kind of annoying to be honest.”

She gave a watery chuckle. “ _You_ get annoyed by my Dad’s comments about me?”

“Yeah,” he said stunned by her reaction. Did she really not know this? “He constantly talks about you and says how proud he is of all you’ve done.”

A new wave of tears emerged from Thea at his words, her soft face crumpling. Eugene froze, not expecting this type of reaction from her.

“That’s a lie,” she mumbled, covering her face. “I’m a screw up, Eugene. A major screw up and you waltz in here like some perfect spawn.”

Shutting the door behind him, he inched closer, trying his best to not scare her. “What are you talking—”

“I fucked up—I unbelievably fucked up,” she said between heavy breaths, wiping away at her tears furiously. “I got into one of the top performing arts programs in the country and I blew it! I failed and I had to come home and then there is you this guy who got his shit together—”

Eugene ran a hand through his hair, wincing. “I really don’t have my shit together.”

“—and Dad fucking loves you. It’s like you are everything he’s ever wanted in a child. A guy who is excelling in everything he does like it is the most easiest thing in the world, and _oh look there_ is Thea who can’t even keep her mental health in check for a  semester before she royally fucks up.”

“Thea—,” Eugene began, not anticipating her to spill out all her problems in the span of twenty seconds. “Thea, you need to understand, it’s not like that. Yeah, you fucked up,” he said awkwardly, not really one for cursing. “But your parents still love you, they love you a ton. And your siblings too—you have this entire family that loves you and cares about you despite your screw up. Not many people can say they have a support system like that.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, lips pursed in pout, holding back another series of tears.

“I can’t even say I have that,” Eugene continued, finally having the courage to look her in the eye. “My Aunt, though wonderful, is a bit of a workaholic. And my parents…well my parents are dead,” he says simply.

“ _Oh_.”

“It happened a long time ago, I don’t even remember them,” he said, almost on autopilot. He wasn’t lying either; he was three and memories from that time were never clear.

Thea shrugged, dropping her arms down to her side. “It doesn’t make it any better.”

“Sure…” he said more for her sake than for his. “I just need you to know, you can’t be tearing yourself up over this dance thing, I guess. Because your family loves you, really-really loves you and—”

He wasn’t too sure what prompted this or how it truly happened, but one moment he was talking and the next Thea pulled him down (or was it more _she reached up_ —you know, those are just unimportant little details) and firmly planted her lips on his.

Eugene did not know how to react—so he didn’t. Instead his hands hung in air awkwardly, not knowing where to grab and all he could think was ‘ _wow, she has unbelievably soft lips’_ —

And then it was over.

“Uh, what was that?” he mumbled, Thea still close within breathing distance.

“Nothing,” she said unconvincingly. She dropped back down from the balls of her feet, and released him. “It was _absolutely_ nothing,” she said, her voice edging on to a shrill quality. “I’m going to go get cookies,” she point sloppily to the door. “I think we should go get cookies—yeah, come on let go get cookies,” she ordered, grabbing his hand and pulling his along out the door.

For the rest of the night, Eugene did not know what to do with himself.

Because he kiss Thea Solo—his favorite professor’s daughter, and the girl who was had become a strange thorn in his side—and he _liked_ it.

However, Thea acted like it never happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now dear readers, this is not the end of Thea and Eugene, but merely the beginning. It just so happened Thea is being just like her dad and repressing her emotions like a fool just in a different way. You'll know what I mean in later chapters.
> 
> AND JANE IS MY LIFE. Love that kid.
> 
> And MAX ALWAYS TELLING IT LIKE IT IS.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; I love discussing the fic with readers :D


	20. June 2008

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the beginning of a four-parter! (Edit: Technically, a five parter. whoops)
> 
> Well...a sort of four-parter; it is all surrounding a particular theme :) You'll figure it out soon.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy!

“I don’t remember him,” Rey said, squinting at the groom. She and Ben were sitting in one of farther back rows of the church, barely able to see the bride and groom. The large cathedral had been filled for the most part, lots of family and friends on both the bride and the groom’s side, though no one Rey instantly recognized. Ben nodded to and poorly small talked with a few people when they arrived, mostly other faculty or peers from his college days.  

Adjusting his tie again, he watched the couple as the priest continued to speak on about the trials and tribulations of marriage. “I wouldn’t expect you to, you’ve never met Hux,” he explained quietly.

“I feel like I have though,” Rey mumbled, lifting her head higher to get a better look. “At least second-hand knowing him.” She raised an eyebrow at him.

In the university’s English Department, Hux and Ben were notorious for their rivalry while in undergrad, then in grad school, both hoping to obtain a full time professorship once their degrees were complete. Of course this did not happen with Hux, and Ben was kept on. This turned out to be a nice development in their sort-of friendship, less hostility between the two once competition was taken out of the equation.

But that did not mean Rey didn’t get an ear full of how awful and horrible Hux was from Ben before this change in attitudes.

“He’s…not that bad…or as bad,” he explained sheepishly.

Rey hummed, not quite believing him.

“I mean he _is_ getting married. There must be something okay with him,” Ben said, though unconvincingly. “Or maybe not and it is just a poor soul of a woman.”

Rey snorted, clapping a hand over her mouth. The woman sitting in front of them glanced over her shoulder at them sternly. The two winced out an apology.

“To be honest, I’ve never been fond of weddings,” Rey said lowly, only for Ben to hear.

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

“The ceremony is ridiculously long and all we care about is the vows and kiss.”

“Valid.”

“And it is just so expensive, I mean look at this place.” Her eyes roved around the ceilings and stained glass windows, then to the cacophony of bouquets scattered around the pews. “I mean yeah it’s your big day…but,” she shrugged, not finishing her sentence.

Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek. “I get it—and for Hux, I’m pretty sure his dad is paying for all of this. Definitely not the bride.”

She held back the urge to roll her eyes.

There was another murmur from the front and it looked like the exchange of vows was about to happen.

“Finally,” Ben muttered, adjusting in his seat. The aisles were narrow and his knees bumped uncomfortably against the row in front of him if he moved too much.

Still unable to hear properly from the back rows, Rey watched the scene before her with little emotion. She didn’t know the two, it was difficult to be engaged in the ceremony. Vows were said, rings were exchanged, a tender kiss was given. And then they turned down to walk down the aisle together…and there was an indescribable glow on both their faces.

Maybe that’s what weddings were about.

 

* * *

 

“I don’t like weddings either,” Ben said as they sat at their table, watching as a good portion of the wedding guests danced badly to some techno-pop music. “They feel very fake and presentational.”

Rey nodded, digging through the little candy favor bags on the table. They were seated with people they didn’t know, and who left for the bar the instant they dropped their belongings off. If a few candy favors were gone…they wouldn’t notice.

Carefully Rey unwrapped the chocolate Kisses, popping one in her mouth. She then smoothed out the foil on the table, making a little stack with her wrappers.

Reaching over, Ben stole a chocolate from her bag. He swiftly opened the wrapper, crumpled it, and ate the candy. Neither like the cake, the blueberry filling off putting.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get married,” Rey said simply. “And not because of the wedding thing…but to be with someone, _forever_? A daunting task.”

“There is a thing called divorce,” Ben reminded her.

“Yeah, but to me that shouldn’t be an out,” she explained, setting the bag of chocolates on the table. “At least not until you know for sure nothing can be done to save the marriage.” Turning her gaze away, she focused on the thin bracelet on her wrist, twisting it around and letting it drop. “Maybe I have commitment issues.”

“You do,” he said without missing a beat.

“Screw you,” she muttered, though didn’t argue.

He smirked for a second before it faded away. “If it’s an consolation, I don’t want to get married.” He sighed, sitting taller in his seat. The longer he sat, the more he felt his tired body beg for a slouch. “Because if I get married, it’s not just me to think about. It’s me and Thea. Someone has to choose us both. I don’t want to deal with that pressure.”

She looked up at him, biting her lips together. “No offense, but you sound like a coward.”

“Takes one to know one,” he quipped.

Rey winced, but found herself chuckling at the remark through it.

“God, we’re awful.” She shook her head. “Truly awful.”

“Not so much more than the average person.”

He looked over at her, watching as she gathered her wrappers into a little pile and then shoved it all towards the center of the table. Her hair was down, not in it’s usual bun or three buns and her make-up was done. He didn’t immediately notice how she looked when he picked her earlier in the afternoon, just that she’d been in a rush and lost track of time, making them nearly late. She made them nearly later for everything, something Ben learned to battle with by telling her things started earlier than they truly did. He however, forgot with this particular instance.

He briefly wondered if he’d ever want to marry her.

A silly thought, but the setting loved to prompt such frivolous fantasies.

He could not come to a conclusion.

“Hey,” she nudged him with the toe of her heel, “I think…if I am let’s say…in my fifties and still single, I give you permission to ask for my hand in marriage.”

His eyebrows rose, a wave of surprise and annoyance at her proposal. “ _Excuse me_?”

“I mean I can’t guarantee I’ll say ‘yes’,” she teased, but she nodded with mocking sage thought, “but for you, as a last resort, I might.”

Her cheeky offer caused a swell of defiance and longing—a longing for her he hadn’t felt in a while.

“Who’s to say I won’t be married at that point?” Ben argued lightly, narrowing his eyes at her. “Who’s to say we are even still friends at that point?”

She shrugged honestly, not having the answer. “I figure, if we are still friends after nearly thirty years, I guess we can commit to each other. I mean if not to each other, then who else?”

A song both recognized— _Take On Me_ —started playing, Rey springing up from her seat. She held her hand out to Ben, “Come on. We got at least do one dance together before the night is over.”

His eyes darted from her hand to her easy smile, unbothered by the future proposal she made, and Ben still unsure if it was made in jest.

If it was, well so be it. If it wasn’t…well he had a little under thirty years to pop the question.

“Fine,” he grumbled with an eyeroll.

Standing up, he let her drag her to the dancefloor, knowing there was no else he’d rather sing off-key with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did they a pull a Best Friend's Wedding Deal? Yeah, sort of. But neither have seen the movie soooooo…..
> 
> And yup, Hux got married. To who? Well, maybe I will reveal one day, lol.
> 
> And the four-parter is called "Four Weddings and A Funeral" though with nothing actually doing with the film besides having four weddings and a funeral.
> 
> Also, I see the comments and I appreciate them all! :D I just wont be able to respond all of them until this weekend, but please comment away :)
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :D


	21. July 2012

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second Part! :D 
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Thea—stop twirling,” Ben scolded his daughter without malice, “You’re getting your flowers everywhere.”

The little girl stopped, plopping herself on the ground. Her pink, poufy flower girl dress puffed up from the motion, Thea struggling to keep the fabric down. Setting her basket on her lap, she looked up a her dad, a sense of bore in her eyes.

“Daddy, when is the wedding going to start?” the seven year old asked, already tired before completing her duties for the ceremony. “I’m _tired_.” To prove her point, a loud unintentional yawn left her. They’d been sitting in the powder room attached to the banquet hall for some time.

Ben checked his watch and frowned.

They were supposed to start an hour ago.

But of course, Finn got cold feet.

Luckily they had the hall reserved for the night and just cut to the meal for the guests firsts, and tack on the wedding after. _Hopefully_.

Crouching down and sitting on the floor next to her, Ben picked up some of the flower petals dropped by Thea and put them back in her basket. At this point, he did not care if his suit became a little wrinkled or if he appeared haggard. No one was going to be paying attention to him once both the grooms were in the room and the rings were passed over to them. “Maybe soon,” he assured her, but Thea did not seem to believe him.

Pursing her lips and tapping her chin, she went deep into thought—well, as a deep as a seven year old could go at almost nine at night. “I thought Uncle Poe and Uncle Finn love each other, why is it taking so long?” she asked, dropping her chin on her curled up knees.

Gazing at his sweet young daughter—who did not know the trials and tribulations of commitment issues or the vulnerability of relationships—Ben attempted to form the best way to explain what was happening. “They do, Thea. They both love each other very much—”

“Then _why_ is Uncle Finn scared?”

“How do you know Uncle Finn is scared?” Ben raised an eyebrow.

“Auntie Rey says so,” she shrugged as though it were the most obvious answer in the world, and maybe her daddy is the littlest bit dumb.

Rey had been with them earlier, but went charging up to the sixth floor to find the two grooms and knock some sense into Finn. Leave it to Rey to be exceedingly honest with a seven year old.

“And it’ silly to be scared when you know someone loves you,” she declared with genuine innocence. “I’m not scared with how you, Auntie Rey, and Grandpa and Grandma love me.”

Ben tried his best to not chuckle at the comment, his daughter too caring and young to understand not everyone was as blessed as her when it came to receiving unconditional love.

“Thea-Bear, that is a different kind of love,” Ben explained gently. “How I love you,” he paused, considering for a moment before continuing, “and how Auntie Rey loves you, is different than how Uncle Poe and Uncle Finn love each other. We have a family love—we love you because you are family, and I love you so much because you’re my little girl.”

Squinting at him, her view obscured as little curls fell into her eyes from her buns, she nodded slowly. She was attempting to understand.

“And so Uncle Finn and Uncle Poe love each other in a romantic sort of way…like,” he wracked his brain around for a moment, thinking of a decent example of romantic love, before settling on the simplest. “Like how we see with Disney Princesses and Princes.”

“Oh,” she uttered, it clicking better for her. “Then they should get married!”

“Exactly,” Ben agreed.

Thea sat up excitedly, dropping her basket again. “And you and Auntie Rey should get married too!”

“What?” he practically cried out, briefly forgetting where he was at, “No-no-no,” the string of words came out frantically. “Rey and I—Auntie Rey and I don’t love each other like that.”

She tilted her head to the side curiously. “But you don’t you _love_ her?”

“Of course, I love Auntie Rey,” Ben said exasperatedly, not liking how his daughter was becoming a pro at twisting his words. “We just don’t love each other like that,” he explained simply, hoping his daughter wasn’t trying to pick up on anything that wasn’t there.

“But you and Auntie Rey love me the same way,” Thea countered, her pout stern.

“Yes,” Ben said slow, having a feeling of where Thea was going with this.

“Then you should be together and make her my Mommy,” she said, a fierce determination in her eyes.

“That—” he sighed, rubbing his jaw as exhaustion creeped deeper into his bones. “That’s not how it works, Thea. Auntie Rey and I need to love each other like how Uncle Poe and Uncle Finn do—”

Huffing, Thea stood up barely taller than her dad when he was sitting, but getting the upper hand in her mind. “ _But you love each other_!”

“Not in the same way,” Ben restated in a fragile, even tone. “I need you to understand that—”

“It’s stupid!”

“ _Thea_ ,” he said in warning, standing up from the floor, “what have I said about using that word—”

“But it is and you are too! You and Auntie Rey should get married,” she huffed, tired and frustrated tears forming in her eyes. “I don’t get it,” she mumbled.

“Thea,” she turned away from him. Closing his eyes, Ben took a deep breath and took a knee. He grabbed her arm and pulled her over to face him. “Honey—you can’t be upset because of this. Whatever you my think, Auntie Rey and I don’t love each other like Uncle Poe and Uncle Finn, or like how Disney Princesses and Princes do. We just don’t and I need you to understand that—”

“But—”

“ _Thea_ ,” he said sternly, “You can’t force this or cry about it because it is not your job to be worried about these things, okay?”

She didn’t say anything, standing with her arms crossed and her mouth pulled into a pout. Tears began to fall.

“Thea-Bear, I think you are tired and frustrated and maybe need to take a nap. It’s been a long day.”

“No,” she mumbled, rubbing at her eyes. “I got be a flower girl.”

“And I will wake you up when I need you be a flower girl, okay? But I don’t think it is going to happen any time soon,” Ben assured her, rubbing a soothing hand up and down her arm. Still grumpy, Thea walked into her dad’s arms. Ben picked her up easily, Thea’s cheek resting on his shoulder. Rubbing a hand up and down her back, and walking in a near circle around the room, the tension loosened from the girl. Within moments she started to feel heavier, already succumbing to sleep.

“I hate weddings,” she mumbled sleepily.

Ben halted, feeling an unease weight in his chest. Leaning over, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, hoping it would dissolve the lump forming in his throat.

“Me too, kid. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got some father-daughter time :) Though it was an argument :( And maybe Ben realizing he might be the problem his daughter will have commitment problems in the future :O
> 
> Ekkk, this family. I love them.
> 
> (Also, don't worry. Finn and Poe do get married. Ben just needs to step in as flower girl because Thea is out like a light.)
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :D


	22. October 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the next part!
> 
> Tbh, not my fav one (for writing reasons) BUT expect a lot of fluff. 
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy :D

“I’m glad we decided something smaller,” Rey murmured by his chest, her head resting by his shoulder. “I don’t know how we would have handled something bigger than this.”

Ben hummed in agreement, still leading their half sway on the dance floor. He could not decipher the lyrics clearly, only hearing the soft, mellow tune from the speakers, the music fading into the background as he danced with his wife.

His eyes roved around to the guests, some sitting and talking, others dancing to the music as well. But all were faces they recognized and knew well, with only fifty guests in total. Close friends and family were invited, and they had a limited wedding party consisting of their kids, Finn, and Poe. His mother wasn’t entirely happy with the decision, wanting a larger wedding to celebrate since the groom was her only child and the bride she loved like her own. However Rey and Ben did not budge; neither were fond of weddings, and they wanted to make theirs the most enjoyable experience possible for themselves and guests. Eventually Leia came around to the idea of a smaller wedding, yet that did not stop her ‘helping’ where she was not needed.

“You do realize we are going to have leftover cake for days if we don’t send guests home with it,” Ben said with a chuckle under his breath. The beautiful three tier cake was not their doing; it was Leia’s, neither able to refuse when she declared she’d take care of food and dessert _and_ pay for it.

Pulling away, Rey gave a half-hearted eyeroll. “I know. We can’t rely on Thea and Max to eat it all—”

“I mean we could,” he said with a shrug. He wouldn’t put it past the two to devour masses of cake if they have not already.

“But I feel like that would be a _little_ bad…cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?” Rey teased, moving her hands to rest behind his neck while his settled around her waist.

He wasn’t too sure when she abandoned her heels for the night, Rey shorter than she’d been before they started dancing—well, swaying in spot. Ben only just realized her change in height as they shifted dancing positions.

“We’d be the coolest parents ever—”

“Or give them the worst stomachaches in existence.”

“That too.”

They chuckled together quietly, before simply smiling at the other. Smiling because they could and they were happy…truly, genuinely happy. Neither received such comfortable joy in their lives, but with the other and with their little family, it was easy—easy to find the joy. Ben never thought he’d have such a thing.

“I love you,” Ben found himself saying for the hundredth time that day, unable to stop himself from uttering the phrase with reckless abandon.

“I love you too,” she said with a large grin, the sentiment shining in her eyes.

Carefully, he tucked some of her hair behind her ear. Her chestnut locks were loose and free around her neck, large curls appearing to soften her hair and face. Leaning over, he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, holding her closer.

“Hey, I need to tell you something,” Rey said quietly, speaking more into his chest than anything. Ben nodded against her hair, almost nuzzling, urging her to continue. She inhaled deeply, her chest momentarily pressed to his then gone. “You know how we have been… _trying_.”

Ben stilled. “Yeah…”

After a long discussion on children and family, with many bouts of tears, the two agreed to try for another child. Of course, it did not happen immediately, and neither expected it to be, as the two started trying in late February and they were now in late October.

She peaked up at him, anticipation swelling between them. “Well…I’m pregnant.”

It felt like the world froze for a moment—

And then Rey had to say something to _ever-so-slightly_ ‘ruin’ the mood. “So we did it!  We go one in there,” she said pointing to her abdomen for emphasis. “We got a bun in the oven—what’s wrong?”

Ben stared at her jaw-slacked.

“You’re pregnant?” he repeated in astonishment. “We’re going to have a baby together?”

“I just said that—”

He cut her off with a quick kiss, tears of excitement and happiness pooling in his eyes. Pulling away, he noticed a flash of bashful and loving warmth in her eyes, she soon overcame with tears of her own. With a firm and gentle hand, he wiped her tears away.

“We look like lunatics crying on the dance floor at our own wedding,” Rey said with a watery chuckle.

Ben shook his head, unable to stop smiling. “I’m fine looking like a lunatic if I get to look like one next to you.”

Normally she’d laugh or tease at such a response, instead she held him close and basked in his love.

“I’m glad I married you,” she told him earnestly.

“I’m glad I didn’t wait another sixteen years to marry you,” he admitted quietly. “I don’t think there was any one else out there for me, but you.”

She gazed up at him and grabbed his left hand in her right. “Well, for me there was never anyone else but you, always you, Ben.”

With their intertwined hands between them, they swayed to their own rhythm as the music changed to _Take On Me_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEAH THEY ARE MARRIED AND IN BLISS AND GONNA HAVE A BABY. UGH SO MUCH FLUFF I CANNOT HANDLE THE SWEETNESS I WROTE.
> 
> Plus funfact: I actually don't like writing Reylo weddings. Not that I don't want them to be married....I just hate writing weddings when the couple/ship is the bride and groom. So I kind of brushed over it *shrugs*
> 
> So...who's wedding will we be plopping into next??? Hmmmmmmmmm.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :D


	23. August 2029

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD THIS CHAPTER WAS SO DIFFICULT TO WRITE FOR SOME REASON, BUT IT IS HERE AND ALIVE!
> 
> The fourth wedding....and trust me, you'll all love it.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later! 
> 
> Enjoy :D

“You do know you can cancel the wedding, right? And we can send everyone home,” Ben quietly reminded Thea, leaning against the doorframe. “No one is forcing you to marry him.”

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Thea clutched the smooth porcelain as she struggled to calm her breathing. She’d been fine, better than fine, the days leading up. Hell, she’d been fine a few hours ago…but the moment she stood in front of the ballroom doors, a swell of panic consumed her. She ran to the nearest restroom, her dad rushing after her.

Taking a deep breath, she felt her ribs constrict against her white gown. The full ballgown skirt made it difficult to maneuver in the restroom, layers of tulle weighing her down. Reaching up, she adjusted the top of the gown again, more air able to pass through in the movement.

“Thea…if you are having genuine second thoughts,” Ben said earnestly, watching as his daughter with careful and solemn eyes, “you don’t have to follow through with this.”

“Yes…yes I do,” she said more to herself than him. Looking up in the mirror, she noticed one of her short curls came loose from its pin. With trembling hands she fixed it, eyes searching for anything else out of place. “I said yes to James, I planned a wedding with James, I am going to marry James.”

Ben pressed his lips together, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He simply looked away from her.

Thea’s eyes narrowed on him. “Don’t give me that look—”

He raised an eyebrow. “What look?”

“The look that you know better than I do—I am making the right choice,” she declared. The curl fell from the pin again. Huffing, she twisted the lock of hair back in place and shoved it with the pin sharply. “I am making the right choice,” she repeated, “I mean James is nice, and kind, and doesn’t argue. He does what I tell him and does not tell me I’m wrong because I am _right_ —” she inhaled shakily, not sure why she was still struggling to get air in her lungs. It should be easy; breathing _should_ be easy. “He’s…he’s not like _him_.”

Watching her grasping for clear thoughts, Ben frowned. He stepped further into the room, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Thea-Bear,” her face crumpled at the name, “just because he is a decent guy…doesn’t mean he is the one for you. Just because someone likes you, maybe even loves you, doesn’t mean you need to reciprocate. Or have to marry them,” he added as an afterthought. He had his fair share of misjudgments, Thea did not need to repeat his mistakes.

Hastily she wiped her eyes, not caring if she ruined her make-up. “But…but,” she swallowed, lifting her eyes to Ben. “I don’t think I’ll find anyone else…if you haven’t noticed Dad, I’m a _bit_ much,” she said through watery chuckles. “Only a certain breed of people can handle me. And…and maybe I just need to settle for James,” she said resolutely, coming to her decision.

She reached for tissues from the corner of the counter and began to clean herself up. The warm lights of the mirror highlighted her mess, she wiping and smearing away mascara and eyeliner until it looked somewhat intentional; she didn’t need Grandma Leia being upset all her hard work was for nothing.

Halfway through patting away her tear stains, she stopped, noticing her dad’s lack of response. He’d been despondent for most of the wedding planning, though she could see there was annoyance and frustration brewing under his silence. Her mom said it was because of how sudden the relationship and proposal had been. Neither expected her to go abroad for a summer apprenticeship and come back with a fiancé.

“Aren’t you going to bestow some dad-ly wisdom on me?”

With a long face, Ben shrugged. “I already did. I can’t control what you do Thea—even if I don’t agree—all I can do is support you and love you.”

Her nose scrunched. “That’s oddly diplomatic of you.”

Ben smiled conflicted, yet adoringly at her. “Believe it or not, I do trust you will eventually make the right decision.”

Sighing, Thea nodded to herself and tossed the used tissues away in the trash. “Okay—let’s do this.”

Her father led her back to the ballroom, Thea’s arm tucked into his elbow. The wedding planner—one apparently James’ family insisted on despite Thea’s slightly controlling tendencies— noticed them, and went off to prepare for the ceremony to start.

“Remember,” Ben said lowly in Thea’s ear as the doors opened, “you can always come home. You will always be welcomed home, no matter what. If he doesn’t treat you right or something changes—anything—you can come home.”

Feeling her throat constrict, Thea nodded. In her hand the bouquet dug into her skin, starting to hate the roses she hurriedly picked in the last month of planning.

She heard the precession music start up again, she and her dad walking down the aisle slowly. Her eyes roamed the entire room, feeling all eyes on her. Both faces she recognized and didn’t, feeling a strange twinge of awkwardness upon the realization she did not know more than four people on groom’s side. On her side she saw the faces of her uncles, her grandparents, Jyn and Cassian, her siblings, her mom and—

Thea completely stopped walking when her eyes fell on _him_.

Eugene _fucking_ Holdo.

Eugene fucking Holdo with his ridiculous hair and oddly charming face, was sitting beside her mother of all people, looking out of breath like he _ran_ to the damn hotel.

“ _What the hell is he doing here_?” Thea hissed to her dad, who halted beside her. She ignored the confused looks of the guests, and most of all the ill-patient groom at the altar.

Turning to look in the direction she was staring at, he appeared just as surprised, his mouth opening as he struggled to find words. And the same went with her mother, who watched on apologetically from the distance.  Apparently no one was expecting Eugene to show up out of the blue.

Ben nudged them forward a bit, almost forcing her to look away. He tried to make it look like she tripped or stumbled; she was pretty sure no one bought it. “I—I don’t know.”

“We didn’t invite him,” Thea said her heartbeat going off radically in her chest. “I thought he was in Boston—”

“We _all_ did.”

As they continued, Thea’s eyes danced back and forth between the unaware James and the completely stricken Eugene who watched her every move with fading eyes. This… _this wasn’t supposed to happen._ She was supposed to marry James, have her life all together because…because that what needed to happen. She needed control over one aspect of her life, and maybe her love life seemed the simplest at the time (Which honestly in retrospect was stupid). After all, Eugene made his choice and she was trying to figure out what the hell hers would be.

But if he was back…

If he was going to stay…

Even if she was being ridiculously hopeful at this point—because honestly he could just be there for her wedding which was really sadistic and yeah, Eugene can self-sabotage half the time but he wasn’t a freaking _sadist_ —she needed to know.

Because…because he was Eugene.

And if just _seeing_ him caused this turmoil within her…maybe she was making the _wrong_ decision.

Once they were a few steps away from the altar, Thea stopped again and looked up at her dad.

“ _I can’t do this_ ,” she mumbled for only Ben to hear.

Squeezing her hand, Ben smiled tenderly down at her. His eyes crinkled, a sense of forgotten pride and understanding bestowed upon her. “ _I know_ ,” was all he said.

Of course her dad knew. He always knew.

“But I think you need to do something, because we are still in the middle of a wedding ceremony,” Ben reminded her with a grumble.

Right. _James_.

Letting go of her dad, her anchor, she stepped up to James. The priest before them—because yeah, she somehow agreed to a priest even though she wasn’t the most religious human being—seemed to catch the memo before the groom, an wincing on his aged face. “Hey…” she said to James, elongating the word.

He smiled softly at her, taking her free hand. “Hey…you okay?” he asked quietly, eyes drifting to the awaiting crowd and Ben who was waiting with a stern look, almost as though prepared to do some damage control if necessary.

Thea forced a smile, though it came out as a cringe. “I am total bitch for telling you this now, but…I don’t want to marry you. I…I said yes because it seemed like the right thing and I really don’t want to end up alone with a dozen dogs like Robin from _How I Met Your Mother_ —I mean I know she in the end gets the guy, but what I am trying to say is I can’t let the guy who might be my guy get away again, and James I don’t mean to make this worse than it already is but I never really thought you were my person.”

He blinked, getting lost in the ramble. “Uh—your ‘person’?” He then paused. “And what is _How I Met Your Mother_?”

She rolled her eyes. James….James never understood anything the first time around, she always had to repeat herself. Taking a deep breath, she started again, only loud enough for those near the altar to hear her clearly. “Yes, my person. You are not my person, James. I mean you are a pretty great guy…but you’re fucking ditz half the time and I always have to over explain my jokes, and jokes should not need to be overexplained—they’re fucking jokes, they lose their humor if you explain them.”

James still blinked at her, the dots not quite connecting in his mind. “So…you don’t want to get married? We can wait. It was pretty quick—”

“That’s what I said! I don’t want to get married to you, so there is no such thing as waiting for us because I am trying to say I don’t want there to be an us!”

His eyes widened, her explanation finally clicking for him.

Meanwhile, murmurs started to come from the guests, watching as Thea spoke rapidly unable to hear anything occurring. Unable to sit and watch anymore, her mom came over to the altar.

“What is going on?” she asked, earning a relieved glance from her husband. “Thea—is this really a conversation you should be having in front of everyone—”

“It’s not like they can hear her, Rey,” Ben said with a slight shrug, but turned to Thea with a serious expression. “But honestly, you should let them all go if there isn’t going to be a wedding—”

“No wedding?” Rey repeated, a flood of relief shining in her eyes. “Thank goodness, I was hoping you’d realize you were making an awful decision.”

Thea gaped at the two. “If you had a problem, why didn’t you say anything?” she demanded. “You’re my parents! You should tell me if I am making a mistake—”

“You are also an adult,” Rey reminded her, “We can’t protect you and save you all the time, Thea. Sometimes you need to mess up to learn—”

She rolled her eyes, “I think I know I need to fuck up to learn,” she said sharply, earning a raised eyebrow from her mom. “And I mean that—it’s not—not— _whatever_ , I don’t have time to for this!” Thea turned back to James, who watched the entire exchange with growing fear and paralysis. “Yeah dude, that’s the family you were about to marry into. It’s not for the faint of heart.”

“I…” the young man looked lost, staring at her with both confusion and shock, “I just wish you told me sooner—we spent so much money and most of my family had to fly out—and _I love you_ —”

“No you don’t,” Thea insisted with a wave of her hand, already tired of this conversation. “You do not love me. If you loved me you would be fighting harder, there would be some grand gesture or I don’t know a _drive_ to keep me—”

“Thea!” The sound of feet running up to the altar stopped the spiraling conversation. Eugene came around her parents to her other side. “Thea—I don’t know what is going on, but don’t get married—”

“You are a little behind with the program,” she said, not bothering to look over at him. “The wedding is off.”

At those words, Rey turned around to face the anxious crowd. “The wedding is off!” she announced, earning a mix of shocked, unsurprised, and affronted guests. She turned back to Ben, who simply shook his head with a refrained laugh. “We don’t need them here if they don’t need to be here—it will only makes things worse,” she explained practically.

“Thea, please look at me,” Eugene asked quietly before looking over at all the other people still standing around them. “If she and I can have a moment—don’t you guys have a wedding situation to diffuse?” He then looked over at James. “And I am pretty sure you have some explaining to do to your family and friends.”

The group dispersed, Rey heading over to the wedding planner while Ben went to their side of the ballroom to do damage control with their family and friends. Opening his mouth, James seemed to be ready to say something before just shaking his head and stepping away from the altar; a smart move all things considering.

Eugene reached for Thea’s hand, pulling her aside and away from the sparked chaos in the ballroom. Tensely she followed, grabbing the bottom of her dress with one hand to walk faster. He led her through one of the exits, only to end up in a slim hall between the two ballrooms, the lighting dim from the old fixtures hanging from the ceiling.

He released her hand, raking a shaky hand through his hair, causing it to stick up more than it already did naturally. “I…I don’t know where to start—”

“How about the fact you just went off and took a job on the other side of the country without even telling me?” she blurted out unable to hide her anger and pain. “We were fine—”

“No we weren’t ‘fine’ because we tried to be friends and you just had to fuck it up by throwing the ‘with benefits’ part in there again,” he argued, standing to his full height with his hands on his hips. He was easily taller than her, only he never made her feel small even when standing in front of her like he did then. “I left because…because I had to before this got worse—and then I hear you are getting _married_? To some dude you only knew for a month, and let me tell you it was really fucking obvious you only knew him for a month—”

She bit her lips together, holding back her tears. Inhaling deeply through her nose she interjected, “I know we weren’t dating anymore but we were still friends—best friends—we told each other everything and you didn’t even tell me.”

“Because it would have hurt to tell you,” Eugene said, his voice cracking. “I wouldn’t have taken the job if you asked me not to and I’m sorry, but I can’t do that to myself.” Thea didn’t have the heart to make an argument against that judgement; Eugene deserved to be successful and thrive, he put in too much work and energy to not allow himself to move forward. “And knowing me, I would have asked you to come along…and I can’t ask you to leave your family,” he said, his voice falling to a hush, aghast at the thought of asking her to do such a thing. “Thea, if there is anything I know for sure, it is your family means everything to you. It would feel too much like an ultimatum, and I can’t do that.”

Neither spoke, their breathing and attempts to hold back tears filling the empty space between them.

“I would have gone,” Thea admitted quietly before surging into a ramble, her soft words getting lost in the heat of her explanation. “I got into a relationship and got engaged thinking if I try hard enough I could forget you and force myself to move on because it’d be the extreme—I’d be married, I made a commitment and I can’t go running back to you because well—you already figured out what you wanted to do with your life and it didn’t include me.” She swallowed tightly, and said again. “If you asked, _I would have gone with you_.”

“What?” he breathed, his tender eyes finally meeting hers.

“I would have gone because…” she shrugged, picking at a layer of tulle, “because _you know_.”

“No…no I don’t,” he said seriously. “You can’t say ‘you know’ when you’ve never told me the words. What am I supposed to just _know_ , Thea?”

She practically sneered at him, huffing. “I think you should know because I fucking called off my wedding—”

“No, I need to hear the words,” he insisted, not budging in the matter. He crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for her. “Because I feel like I have known, for a long time…maybe since that first kiss, but I can’t be sure since we are always a shitshow when it comes to feelings.”

“Fine,” she said sharply, tired from the day and rollercoaster she and Eugene never seem to stop riding. “I love you. I love you, you fucking fluffy haired moron,” she declared, mirroring his stance. “ _There_. Are you happy? I said it, now you know what the ‘you know’ means.”

“No,” he said, dropping his arms to his side. “ _I’m relieved_.” He then winced, taking a step towards her, “Because I kind of quit my job and hopped on the first plane out here to see you— _talk to you_ —maybe stop the wedding in a grand gesture like those rom-coms, and you know ‘ _object_ ’.” He smirked a little. “Something dramatic because well, its _you_. Everything is dramatic with you,” he said with a playful eyeroll, before becoming serious once more. “But…I love you more than anything Thea, and Boston sucked without you there.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“So…” Thea uttered shuffling closer to him, an amused yet excited grin starting to form on her face as she voice her proposal, “do you want to go and get married?”

“ _Excuse me_?” He squinted at her, his jaw slack. A chuckle then escaped him. “I’m sorry did you just ask me—”

“To get married? Yes.” Thea spoke confidently for the first time in a long time; this…this she was sure about. “Doing all this…this _mess_ , it made me realize I don’t want anyone else because there is no one like you, Eugene. Even if you annoy the hell out of me, you’re the only person who’d I want to annoy me until death do us part.”

He seemed intrigued by the idea, but a there was an air of hesitancy around him. “I mean ditto, but…but you just _called off_ a wedding and you want to just tack another on? Don’t you want a ceremony and reception you actually _like_?”

“Who’s to say I don’t like this?” She waved vaguely to herself and the door to the ballroom.

Eugene reached over and plucked the bouquet from her grasp. “Thea, you _hate_ roses,” she bit her lower lip as he frowned down at the flowers and then her dress, “and I think the last time you wore something this fluffy was when you were in a performance of Swan Lake—can you even breathe in that?” He then frowned. “And not to mention the legal process of getting married—"

Huffing, she wretched the bouquet from him. “ _Okay_ —you have a point. I hate basically everything this wedding is and we’ll need to set up a day to go get legally married, but my offer still stands,” she said, becoming unmovable in her decision. “If we want we can plan a different, simple ceremony for everyone else later with a reception and everything else,” Eugene’s initially spike of tension eased as she continued to ramble, “I just…” she smiled up at him genuinely, a smile only reserved for him, “I just don’t want to wait—I don’t want to be like my parents and wait _years_ before finally having the courage to marry my best friend,” she said honestly, unaware of the tears slowly cascading down her face.

Stepping into her space, Eugene gently wiped away her tears with the pads of his thumb. “Then yeah. Let’s get married.”

A bright smile bloomed on her face. She leaned in for a kiss, only for Eugene to pull back before they gave into the temptation.

“But I just need to take care of one thing first,” Eugene insisted, bringing her along with him out the door.

 

* * *

 

A door to the ballroom creaked open, Ben perking up at the sound.

Most of the family had stayed, all thoroughly concerned for Thea. Even Jyn and Cassian lingered to see how Thea was doing, now sitting in the row behind the immediate family. On Ben’s right, Max and his girlfriend, Charlotte, were speaking quietly. The teenager was catching the girl up on the ‘Thea and Eugene Drama’ as she was not his official girlfriend until the summer. On the furthest end was Jane, completely engrossed in her book, not in the least surprised by the chaos surrounding Thea's wedding. She did her flower girl duties, she didn't need to do anything else for the rest of the day as far as she was concerned.

Meanwhile to Ben’s left, Rey sat anxiously and practically jumped out of her seat as Eugene and Thea made their way over to them. Once before them, Eugene smiled gently at Thea and took a step forward to fully face Rey and Ben.

Wiping his hands on his pants, Eugene held his head high, but there was a clear nervous quiver in his body. “Mr. and Mrs. Solo,” he began shakily. Glancing over at each other, Rey and Ben shared a puzzled expression over the man’s use of formalities. It was _Eugene_ —he was practically family. The young man had gone on vacations with them and was well past awkward encounters in the morning, greeting them as though he lived in their house while he’d been dating Thea. “I would like to ask you both for your blessing for Thea’s hand in marriage.”

 _Oh_.

This was unexpected.

Welcomed, but completely unanticipated.

Ben knew his answer for years, and he was sure Rey shared the same sentiment.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Rey repeated, standing up and pulling Eugene into a warm hug. “Please for the love of all that is good, marry the girl.” Releasing him, she sniffled a little. Rey always had a soft spot for Eugene, the two close no matter the status of his relationship with her daughter.

“Of course,” Ben said simply, the words easy and true.

Suddenly he felt a wave of emotion hit him. He blinked, tears forming. This was the man his daughter was meant to be with; this was her _person_. Ben always knew it, even when it seemed like a fleeting possibility, he knew eventually they’d come to their senses.

“Welcome to the family,” Ben said, standing up and pulling Eugene into a warm hug.

Over the young man’s shoulder, he saw Thea—a soft smile shining through her mess of make-up, but a sense of calm finally settling over her.

She was happy…the happiest she’d ever been.

In that moment, Ben gave into his tears, crying through his proud smile.

Yeah, Thea would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I TOLD YOU THEAGENE IS A ROLLERCOASTER! Did anyone believe Thea's first attempt at a wedding would ACTULLY go smoothly? No, of course not. However, in this case I think we are all grateful it didn't. But I was kind and gave you their beginning and confirmed their endgame status :) NOW WE GET TH CACKLE AT ALL THE DRAMA IN FUTURE CHAPTERS! 
> 
> Also Ben is the best :) And I know not a lot of Rey, but we get a lot of her in the next chapter.
> 
> Also, Max has a girlfriend *wipes away proud tears* my babies are all grown up.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :D


	24. March 2032

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is a little sad. Cried a little writing it too. Check the tags, and don't worry it is not a current main character death.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.

“Hey, Max,” Rey knocked on the nineteen year old’s door, “Are you ready? Everyone’s waiting in the car.” There was some shuffling on the other side of the door, but no move to actually answer. “ _Maxie_ —we need to get going…the funeral starts in a little over an hour and we still have a drive.”

Shadows of feet moved closer, the door cracking open. She saw her lanky son’s shaggy hair and one peak of an eye and glasses.

“I don’t want to go,” he mumbled into the crack.

“Max, you have to go.”

“I don’t want to.”

“You _are_ going.”

“ _No_.”

“Yes,” Rey shot back, nudging open the door. Max moved away, heading straight to his bed, letting her infiltrate his space. Her eyes roved around the room, noticing his usual collage of pictures with Charlotte was taken down, the wall space behind his desk now empty.

The sight made her heart ache.

Keeping her emotions in check, Rey turned to her son. He laid on his bed on his side, the black suit wrinkling as he curled into a fetal position.

Practically despondent.

He'd been locked up in his room for most of the day since he heard the news. To see him broken from the inside out was a sight Rey never wanted to witness. 

Taking a deep breath she stepped forward, taking a seat by the foot of the bed. While her arms begged to hold her hurting boy, she knew better than to give physical affection without prompting. Instead, she wringed her hands on her lap, trying to find the right words.

“Max…I know you are upset. We are all very upset,” Rey said slowly, her eyes watering as she recalled the girl being over at their house a mere week ago. Charlotte was vibrant and alive, giggling as she and Max watched a movie in the living room. “Charlotte is…was your girlfriend, and I know you love her dearly and it hurts. But we need to go to the funeral…her family needs you, sweetheart.”

“How do you _know_ it hurts?" he snapped, half his face buried in the pillow. "You still have Dad—you _don’t_ know what I feel,” he said, his voice a low rumble as more tears fell from his eyes. “She and I were supposed to be together forever.”

Rey ignored the sting of his words, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

“I understand you thought you and Charlotte were supposed to be together forever…she…she treated you with so much love and care, Maxie, and I will always be grateful for that…” Pressing her lips together, she held back a new wave of tears. For a long time she didn’t think Max would find someone who’d understand him and all his quirks, but then he made a friend in Charlotte in middle school. The two became close, eventually succumbing to puppy love, and dating for half of their high school years. Max never shied for letting everyone know Charlotte was his person, and the girl did so in return. “And I know not being with her makes you upset…but think of it this way, you two were together for _her_ forever.”

She felt her son still, his heavy breaths coming to a halt. “‘Her forever’?”

“Yeah,” she said, looking over at him. His eyes were bloodshot and his nose red, but he was staring at her with curiosity. “You loved her and someone would have to be blind to not see the love she had for you." She pursed her lips thinking of what else she could possibly say; this was all knew to her. While she'd experience loss and separation, never did she experience the death of a loved one, let alone the loss of a contemporary. Her adult life had been blessed with longstanding loving figures, only knowing of indirect losses. Until now. "Eventually the pain of loving her, and she not being here, will not hurt as much, and your love will become different, but that does not mean your love is gone,” Rey tried her best to explain, feeling she was doing a poor job at comforting her son. Ben was better at this when it came to Max, the two always understanding each other on level Rey could not comprehend.

Sighing, Max sat up, his knees tucked to his chest. “I just don’t understand how she can be here one day and gone the next,” he said quietly, wiping his eyes under his glasses.

Carefully, Rey reach for Max’s hand, holding it loosely. After a moment, his grip tightened, holding her hand back.

“Sometimes its difficult to find a reason or explanation for these things,” she said, brushing away some of his moppy hair from his face. “But we still need to grieve and not close ourselves off. Healing is easier when you have other’s to lean on.”

Max nodded mutely.

“Okay…I’ll go,” he mumbled. “But…but can you hold my hand the entire time?” he asked quietly, sounding like the little boy she use to cuddle and hold years ago.

“Of course, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm cruel. I give Max a girlfriend and then I kill her off, but I did so with reason. We'll find out later. And since this is snippets of a family's life, death needed to be addressed at some point.
> 
> Since this one is sad, I will be posting another chapter today to lighten the mood :)
> 
> Otherwise, that's the end of this five-parter. Each about love and marriage, and being together forever. We have a few fun chapters coming up and then I think in a week or two we might have another little arc :)
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	25. March 2026

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER UPDATE IN ONE DAY!
> 
> It's a little happier, with some funny moments. 
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy.

Half awake, Rey entered the kitchen, working on autopilot. She just needed coffee and then she could function, answer some emails, make sure Jane stayed awake and didn’t fall back asleep once Ben woke her up. Her goal was just to get to the coffee to start having all the brain waves going again.

She grabbed the coffee grounds from the cabinet and picked up a filter before making her way to the coffee nook set up in the corner of the kitchen counter. But then she came to a halt once her eyes landed on the coffee pot.

There was already coffee in there. Hot coffee already brewed.

 _What_?

Ben was still asleep, so that only meant—

“Oh, I made coffee,” Thea chirped happily from the living area, one of her books for her literature classes open on her lap. “I made enough for everyone so help yourself.”

Watching Thea warily, Rey set down the coffee supplies and went to retrieve a mug. “You’re up awfully early—usually I am the only one awake at five-thirty in the morning,” Rey commented, filling her cup to the brim. She refrained from commenting how Thea was usually asleep until well past nine in the morning on a non-school day and struggled to maintain consciousness at seven in the morning on week days.  

The twenty year old shrugged, flipping a page in her book. “I thought I should try getting up early. It seems to do wonders. More time in the day,” Thea responded readily.

Rey quirked an eyebrow—okay, Thea _was_ being weird, and she wasn’t just imagining things. But she did not have the energy to press on the matter.

“Well enjoy your homework, I’ll be in the office if you need anything,” Rey muttered, heading over to said office right off the kitchen.

Upon entering, she turned on the lights and set her mug on a coaster. Rey sat down and adjusted the seat, too low for her legs. Ben was up late working on another draft, the chair sitting at a comfortable height for him, but not so much for Rey. Reaching into the lower drawer, she pulled out her laptop and prepared to boot it up. As she waited for Windows to wake up, Rey heard a distinct sound of the front door opening and closing.

Confused, she left the office and went to the entry way.

Only to find it empty.

But she swore she heard—

“Are you looking for something, Mom?” Thea called out, her face pulled into puzzlement. She could see Rey clearly from her spot on the couch.

Rey opened her mouth, looking back and forth between Thea and the door. The girl must have heard it, right?  “Did you open the door? I thought I heard the door open.”

Frowning, Thea shook her head. “No. The door didn’t open.”

Huh.

“Oh, okay. Maybe I’m just hearing things,” Rey mumbled, heading back to the office. She needed more coffee if she was hearing doors opening and closing when they clearly were not.

 

* * *

 

“I’m going out, don’t wait for me to come home. I’ll be out late,” Thea called out as she came rushing down the stairs.

“We usually don’t wait for you,” Ben shouted back, sitting at the dinning table with stacks of short story essays from his students. Sitting beside him was Jane, playing with array of Play-Dough. She was making a ‘cake’ for him.

He looked up from his papers, noticing Thea was more dressed up than usual. Her usual ripped jeans, cozy sweaters, and sneakers were replaced with a flattering green dress and low heel shoes. She looked like she was going out on, dare he say, a _date_.

“Where are you heading off to again?” he asked, adjusting his glasses higher on his face.

Thea paused, blinking owlishly at him. “Uh—a party,” she said a beat later, shifting from foot to foot. “At you know, a place.”

“Which place?”

Her eyes sharpened on him. “I’m twenty, I can go out if I want to.”

“I still pay your phone bill and house you, I can ask where you are going, especially for safety reasons,” Ben reminded her, unfazed by her annoyance.

“To…a friend’s place,” she settled on.

“Somehow I don’t believe that when you told me a party a second ago and now you are saying a friend’s place?” he said, genuinely confused why Thea was being so cryptic. “Thea, I don’t care what you do, I just want to make sure at least someone knows where you are—”

“Fine, the dorms! I am going to the dorms on campus to hang out with a friend,” she blurted out, turning on her heel and marching out of the house. “I will be fine and I will be back in the morning— _okay bye_!” she rushed out the last bit, practically slamming the door behind her.

Ben gaped, trying to understand what just happened.

“Is Thea having a sleepover?” Jane then asked, rolling her Play-Dough with a little plastic rolling pin.

Ben turned to his youngest, barely catching what she was saying. “What?”

“She said she going to a friend’s house and we won’t see until morning,” Jane explained with her little voice. “Is she having a sleepover?” she asked innocently, her bright hazel eyes staring back at him.

Ben felt his blood run cold.

‘Friend’ his ass.

“Jane,” Ben breathed, “Never grow up.”

“Okay, Daddy,” the four year old agreed, adding more colors to her Play-Dough ‘cake’.

 

* * *

 

“Max, you have a wonderful day at school and tell your little friend Charlotte I said hello and that I hope her day is amazing as well,” Thea declared to her brother as she finished filling her thermal to-go cup with coffee. As she left, she pressed a quick kiss on the top of his head before hurrying out the door.

The thirteen year old boy sat stock still, his bowl of cereal forgotten as his face scrunched up.

“Thea’s being weird.”

“I know,” Rey said buttering her whole-grain toast. “She’s been acting weird for weeks. Waking up early and actually ‘going out’ on weekends.”

“She’s…smiling and is louder than usual,” Max said in utter puzzlement. “It’s annoying.” He picked back up his spoon and poked at his cereal, lost in thought.

By the coffee nook, Ben poured himself another cup, listening closely to their conversation. “I think Thea is seeing someone,” he announced, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Ew,” Max uttered, his nose wrinkling.

“Oh,” Rey hummed, “That…makes sense— _oh my god_ that makes sense,” her eyes widened. “Her good mood must be because she is getting—”

“Let’s not talk about it,” Ben declared with a definite shake of his head.

Max’s face became pale at the implications, pushing his bowl of cereal away. “I’m not hungry anymore.”

 

* * *

 

“So, do you have anything you’d like to tell us?” Ben prompted during their weekly dinner at Maz’s, looking over at Thea patiently. A swift kick from Rey under the table caused him to wince, but Ben continued to look over at his daughter.

“No, just the same old, same old,” Thea answered automatically.

“No new friends or… _more_ than friends in the mix?” he asked, earning a near identical eye roll from Rey and Max. Meanwhile Jane remained unaware, more concerned with her pasta

Thea looked up from her fettucine alfredo, eyebrows furrowing. “No…Like I said, it’s been the same.”

Rey sent him a stern look, Ben clearing his throat before returning to his food with gusto. Better to act like he never asked the question, than continue beating around the bush.

 

* * *

 

“Thea…”

She frowned at the noise and snuggled closer to her pillow.

“ _Thea_ …”

“Leave me alone,” she said under her breath, her voice rough from sleep.

“Thea…I have to use the restroom,” Eugene finally said, “And you’re kind of laying on top of me.”

Blinking blearily, Thea suddenly remembered she was in her room…and Eugene was with her. Well, half naked under her if she wanted to be technical.

“Your elbow is digging into my rib,” he muttered, one hand rubbing his eyes.

“Oh, sorry,” she mumbled, shifting over to get off of him. He hummed in thanks, reaching for his t-shirt somewhere on the floor. Now cold, she wrapped her blankets and sheets around her, curling into a ball as she watched him pull his t-shirt back over his head. She tried not to think how much her sheets smelled like him…because those were weird thoughts, right?

To be perfectly honest, Thea wasn’t too sure how this happened.

Sure, she kissed Eugene at Christmas and then acted like it didn’t happen. But of course, Eugene was a dummy and tried to bring it up every time they had the slimmest of moments alone.

_“What does it mean?”_

_“What do you mean ‘what does it mean’? It could mean anything.”_

_“Stop doing that thing were you don’t answer the question! It’s annoying.”_

So she kissed him again because it was easier to kiss him than get into another debate with him. One thing led to another, and somehow a not-so-much friends with benefits situation formed between them. Theoretically, it should be a win-win. Neither seemed to be in the mode for a relationship—not that Thea would want to be in a relationship with Eugene—and they were able to relieve some stress, with Eugene on edge as he waited to hear back from grad schools and Thea focused on getting back into dance. Friends with benefits should be _easy_ —only it turned out the be really the worst kind of situation to logistically figure out in retrospect. This was due to Eugene sharing a small dorm with roommate who never seemed to leave the room except for the occasional Saturday night, and Thea still living with her parents.

So meeting up was a _little_ difficult.

It meant sneaking Eugene in once everyone went to bed and then sneaking him right back out before her mom woke up. The first couple of times, there was a certain _thrill_ to it. Growing up, Thea was never one to explicitly break the rules, nor did her parents have a stern set of rules to follow. She never had a curfew because she rarely went out, and she didn’t have many lasting boyfriends in high school because many found her a little… _much_. Too ambitious, too talkative, too nosey. Not to mention everyone in their family shared all the details of their lives and were overly honest with each other. Lying felt like a foreign concept, even if it was by omission. She never truly had the experience of sneaking around or hiding things from her parents, so this thing with Eugene was sort of exciting…

Until she started losing sleep because she couldn’t fall back asleep after he left. Naturally Thea tried to adapt, moving her schedule around and working on homework early in the morning, and attempted to fit in an afternoon nap. It sort of worked, but they were starting to cut it close about a month in—

_“She heard the door open, you idiot!”_

_“I was quiet!_

_“Well, not quiet enough.”_

_“I am unbelievably quiet the_ entire _night, for several nights, so_ I’m sorry _that I apparently can’t keep it together when I close the front door.”_

Thea decided to be extra cautious over the week. Being nicer to her family, making sure to go out on the family dinners, making coffee for everyone in the morning. Maybe she was laying it on thick, but she didn’t want them to be too suspicious. This wasn’t something they needed to know or share their opinions on—this was just something between Thea and Eugene.

“Everyone is still asleep right?” Eugene asked, his voice barely above a whisper as he moved across the dark room, dressed decent in a t-shirt and boxers.

Thea squinted over at her digital clock on her beside table. _4:46AM._

“Yeah,” she answered. “Just be careful and don’t make noise,” she reminded him. She wanted to add for him to hurry back because she was already getting cold from the loss of his heat, but she decide on remaining silent.

He nodded with a little smirk and ducked out of the room.

Thea scowled at the door; she did not like how that annoying little smirk made her heartbeat go a little faster.

 

* * *

 

Getting to the restroom was easy, _leaving_ on the other hand…

Eugene didn’t expect Jane to be sitting on the floor outside the restroom, waiting for the door to open. He nearly tripped over the girl, the four year old blinking up in confusion when she saw it was him.

“Gene, hi,” she said with a little pout. “My tummy hurts.”

Unsure of what to do, Eugene crouched down beside her. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly. “Is there anything I can do?” He probably shouldn’t be talking to Jane and hurry back to Thea’s room, but it was really hard to say no to the little girl.

She shrugged, kicking out her legs. Her big sleeping t-shirt swallowed her tiny frame and her bright pink leggings were a little too long for her short legs. He could not help but smile in amusement at the sight of her.

“Mommy gives me bananas when my tummy hurts,” she said, reaching for her toes, flopping a little to the side.

“Then you should go find your mommy and she can get you a banana,” Eugene suggested, trying not to panic at how they were having this conversation in the middle of the hall, where anyone can walk out of their room at any moment.

“Why? You can get me a banana,” Jane said, recognizing Eugene as the closest adult awake to help her.

Dropping his head, Eugene sighed. Thea was going to kill him in his sleep if he got caught, but…“Alright, let’s go find you a banana.”

 

* * *

 

 

Sitting on one of the barstools at the breakfast nook, Jane kicked her legs back and forth as she ate her banana, Eugene watching her while half-awake. He had a nine-thirty class he was positive he was going to fall asleep with the three hours of sleep he managed to get.

“Is your tummy starting to feel better?” he mumbled, slumping slightly on the barstool beside her.

Jane nodded happily, her curls bouncing around her face.

“Good, good,” he said with a yawn. “Since you are almost done…why don’t you go back to sleep?”

Pursing her lips, Jane shook her head. “Nope.”

Eugene frowned. He struggled to continue propping his head in his hand as he leaned on the counter, about to succumb to sleep right in the kitchen. “What do you mean ‘nope’?”

“Not tired,” Jane answered, finishing her banana. She left the peel on the counter, wiping her hands on the front her shirt.

“But you should try—”

“Nope,” she said again, wiggling her way off the chair. She tugged on his shirt. “Let’s go play tea party.”

“No, no, no,” Eugene said, realizing what was happening. “I’m—I’m not here to play tea party or hang out,” he explained, Jane’s face scrunching.

“Then why are you here?” the four year old asked, extremely confused.

Eugene opened his mouth for an small noise to come out, unable to find an answer suitable for a child.

“I was just about to ask the same thing,” a voice said from the kitchen entrance.

Lifting his head, Eugene saw Rey Solo standing by the coffee pot. She narrowed her eyes at him, arms crossed over her chest. She looked as though she were ready to either physically hurt him or throw him out of the house herself. “You have five seconds to explain why you are in my house—”

“Thea and I are sleeping with each other,” he blurted out in completely panic and exhaustion, dropping his face into his hands before he could see the woman’s reaction. “ _Ah, crap_ ,” he muttered, on the verge of just collapsing from sleep-deprivation.

Rey visibly recoiled at the news, eyes widening. “Um—Ah—Er—” she stuttered out before her eyes landed on her youngest. “Janie, do Mommy a favor and go get my phone for me from upstairs.”

“But—”

“I’ll let you play games—”

“ _Okay_!” The little girl dashed out of the room, excited for her mission and it’s reward.

Once Jane was out of the room, Rey turned back to Eugene with full force. “What do you mean—”

“I meant what I said—and now Thea is going to kill me in my sleep or never let me hear the end of it. I mean, _have you heard her_? She does not know how to stop talking, don’t get me wrong I love her, but she does not know how to leave a beat horse dead,” he said rubbing away at his eyes, his glasses oddly hanging off of one ear.

Rey gaped at him, before settling on patting his shoulder. “Calm down—for the love of god, please calm down.”

“Please don’t tell Professor Solo—Thea really, _really_ doesn’t want him to know because of how he’d react and we don’t know what the hell we are doing—are we in a relationship? Are we _not_ in a relationship? We haven’t really defined it beyond the—”

“ _Eugene_ ,” Rey said sharply, the young man stopping his panic ramblings. He looked up at her, his eyes and face wearing his exhaustion. “I frankly don’t care what is going on—I respect it is Thea’s business. My husband on the other hand _will not_ —but you also seem like you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown—”

“Yeah…yeah,” he breathed, “I kind of am.”

“So…I’m going to let you crash on the office couch for a couple of hours,” she said, eyeing him carefully. “Because, don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t look well.”

He nodded, not having the energy to argue. “I’m… not,” he said lamely. “I just want to get into a good school and not feel like my entire life is up in the air at the moment.”

“I understand,” she said, before motioning over to the office. “You can go ahead and take a nap. No one will bother you.”

“But what about Thea—”

“I’ll take care of telling Thea,” Rey said with gentle sternness, Eugene listening to her orders.

 

* * *

 

 “Please tell me you are decent,” Rey called out as she entered Thea’s room.

“Of course I’m decent,” Thea grumbled on almost autopilot, blanket over her head.

Less than half a second later, she sat up, her eyes wide as she stared at her mom and then looked over to where the other side of the bed was empty. A flash of panic and horror came over Thea’s face, the girl probably already trying to find some answer as justification.

And Thea wasn’t lying—she was wearing sweatpants and old dance camp t-shirt.

“I ran into your _friend_ downstairs,” Rey said, shutting the door behind her.

“Mom, I can explain—”

“He looks like shit,” she continued, ignoring Thea’s interjection. She came over and sat on the edge of the bed, pursing her lips in thought. “I’m letting him sleep in the office and thank your lucky stars it was me who ran into him and not your father.”

The girl had the decency to look apologetic, staring down at her lap almost shamefully.

“I’m twenty, I can have a male friend,” Thea mumbled half-heartedly, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“I know and that is why I am not scolding you like you are some reckless teenager, and am talking to you.” Thea’s face became puzzled as she waited for Rey to explain. “I understand you are a young woman, who may be sexually active—I am fine with that,” she said stiltedly,  picking at the skin around her nails.

“You sure don’t sound like it.”

“Okay, maybe I am not _fine_ with it,” Rey corrected, trying her best to not lash out at her daughter, “but I am aware and you have been on birth control for a few years so I am not necessarily worried. My problem is you are hooking up with someone in my house, where your four year old sister can run into them, not to mention he is your father’s TA—”

“We didn’t even hook-up last night, we both fell asleep before the rest of the clothes could come off,” Thea clarified hastily, heat rising to her face.

“But your sister ran into him,” Rey countered, “and please tell me if you are prepared to give a four year old the most water-down version of the sex talk or better yet, lie to her?”

Thea didn’t respond, lips pressed together tightly.

“And…I don’t think Eugene needs for the lack of better term, a fuck buddy, right now. I think he really needs a friend. I wasn’t joking when I said he looks like shit.”

“I know,” Thea said quietly, “I just…don’t know what to do.”

Rey gave her a small smile. “Here’s a hint: maybe instead of talking over each other, just _listen_ to him.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, what do you think of letting Thea take the office as her room?” Rey asked Ben as she chopped the tomatoes for tacos. Stirring the browning rice, Ben didn’t speak up but made a non-committal noise for her to continue. “She’s been popping in and out at weird times and maybe it would be easier to just have her be down here and have the office upstairs.

“It’s not a bad idea,” Ben said after a moment, setting the wooden spoon aside. Rolling up his sleeves he regarded her curiously. “But we can always tell her to move out. She is twenty, I wasn’t living with my parents anymore at her age and they didn’t live that far away from campus.”

“But you also didn’t have the best relationship with your parents,” Rey reminded him, putting the chopped tomatoes into a bowl. “And I didn’t have much a choice when I was her age, but I still lived with Finn and Poe. We can’t just let her live on her own, at least while she is in school.”

“Well, I am not okay with her having a guy over—”

“You know?” Rey interrupted, staring at her husband in astonishment. Setting the knife down, she turned to her husband sharply. “You knew Thea had a guy over? And you never told me.”

Ben scoffed in disbelief she would think otherwise. “You think I really didn’t know there was another man in my house? Or the fact that my TA stares at my daughter with just _little_ too much familiarity for comfort? Oh _I know_ ,” Ben said lowly, arms crossed petulantly over his chest. “She thinks I don’t, but I do.”

“So what are we going to do about it?” Rey countered, more than a little miffed Ben never told her he knew about Thea and Gene, even if it was just based on inklings.

“We tell her she needs to move out if she wants to bring over guys—”

“But it’s not just any guy,” Rey reminded him, “It’s _Eugene_.”

“All the more reason.”

“But you love him.”

“But I love my daughter more,” Ben said simply.

Rey pursed her lips, jaw tensing as she observed her husband with knowing eyes. “This is not about loving her more, this is about you not liking she’s growing up.”

Ben did not argue, instead shrugging in agreement and turning back to stirring the rice. “Can you blame me? She’s my daughter. It was always me and Thea against the world. You can’t expect me to actually be happy or okay with this—with them _doing_ things in my house.”

“You sound ridiculous,” Rey said, picking up an onion. Shaking her head, she began chopping and dicing. “I just don’t feel comfortable letting her live on her own, she…she is starting to get her footing again and we need to be her support system.”

“Or maybe we’re her crutch?” Ben said tiredly. “We’ve always been there for her, we’ve always supported her, but maybe we need to cut her off. Let her figure out somethings on her own.”

“We did that once and need I remind you what happened?” she replied sharply.

A silence fell over the two, both thinking of Thea’s first semester of college.

“She’s better now…” Ben said with little confidence. “We can’t let what happened then, dictate our decision now. Got to let the past go, Rey,” he said with a huff, placing the lid over the pot of rice.

Maybe Ben had a point. Though Rey didn’t want to agree with him immediately.

The doorbell then rang.

“I got it!” Thea shouted from upstairs.

The parents heard her come down the stairs and walk past the kitchen to the front door. There was series of murmurs, neither Rey or Ben able to decipher who was at the door with the stove on. The front door then closed, followed by feet walking closer to the kitchen.

“Hey,” Thea greeted, peaking her head into the kitchen area, “I invited a friend— _just a friend_ ,” she stressed looking over at Rey, “over for dinner. That’s okay right? I know I should have asked before hand but…yeah.”

“Sure,” Rey said, glancing over at Ben, who nodded silently.

They didn’t need to think hard about who this friend happened to be.

Thea smiled, “Thanks—uh, he—it’s Eugene,” she added awkwardly, “and I will be in the living room if you need anything. And he will be leaving after dinner as well.”

“Well, I would assume so,” Ben commented, earning a stern look from Rey in retaliation.

“Yeah…okay, you guys are being weird, so I am going to go,” Thea announced, leaving the kitchen.

Rey watched her go with conflicted eyes. “It seems like she took my advice.”

“What advice?” Ben asked.

“To just be friends for now,” she said with a twinge of sadness. While she liked the idea of them…maybe being just friends was the best option for now. “I guess she can stay.”

“I guess so,” Ben mumbled, attempting to understand Rey’s sudden shift in mood. “What about other guys?”

Rey sighed, feeling a hint of regret for steering Thea in this direction.  “I don’t think there will be other guys.”

And she was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Rey and Ben are walking a fine line here when it comes to parenting Thea...when she is an adult still living with them. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	26. May 2003

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something simple and cute! :D
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy!

Ben had been enjoying a particular dream—

He’d was just walking a down an empty road watching as the city lights reflected off the wet pavement. He looked over to his side and _she_ was there; smiling and chuckling at something he said. Her hair was down and dancing around her neck, her hazel eyes shining bright under the moonlight. Standing on her toes, she leaned over and—

An elbow then rammed him in the ribs.

Right. He wasn’t in a city. Or with a pretty girl.

Nope.

He was in the fucking hills, surrounded by sequoias and wildlife. Now his friend was trying to cuddle up to him for warmth, and _no_. Ben was not the cuddling type.

“Get the fuck off me, Poe,” Ben grumbled, shoving his roommate to the other side of the tent.

“Come on man—I’m freezing,” Poe moaned, wrapping himself tighter in his sleeping bag. “And you are so warm…” he mumbled childishly, glaring at Ben through the fogs of sleep.

“No,” Ben ordered, adjusting his pillow once more. Why did he agree to this trip? They slept on the hard ground, the showers barely worked besides being coin operated, and Ben was sure the hotdog he roasted over the fire did not get cooked thoroughly.

Rustling then came from the outside of the tent, the zipper door revealing the reason Ben did decided to join on Poe’s little camping expedition. Rey stood with her sleeping bag and pillow, Finn behind her waiting as well.

“Hey,” She said, earning curious glances from Poe and Ben. “Finn and I are absolutely freezing by ourselves in our tent; can we crash with you guys?”

Poe perked up, already scooting over to one side of the tent. “Of course! The more, the warmer,” he insisted. Over his shoulder he noticed Ben made no move to shift over, and tossed his pillow at him.

The flying pillow whacked Ben, but he barely reacted, watching like a hawk as Rey and Finn climbed into the tent and awkwardly situated themselves in the marginal open space. Somehow they were able to maneuver without completely tripping over their own two feet, Rey dropping down beside Ben.

“I thought this tent was supposed to fit four people?” Finn muttered, turning on his side to face Poe.

“It was—but we have a _Ben_ ,” Poe answered reaching across everyone, with protests from all inhabitants, and grabbed his pillow. “A Ben who takes more space than the average human.” He then glared at his friend and plopped down to his corner to sleep.

Ben scowled at him, and finally settled back down—which turned out to be more difficult than anticipated. Sensing this, Rey turned to her side, her and Finn’s backs pressed together as Ben moved his way to laying on his side—accidently facing her.

“Uh, hi,” Ben uttered, hoping the dark of night hid his blooming blush.

“Hi,” Rey said, punctuating her phrase with a yawn, closing her eyes. “And good night.”

“Yeah, good night,” Ben mumbled, focused on the inch distance between them.

He could do this. He could _totally_ do this.

He just wouldn’t sleep for the entire night. Simple as that.

 

* * *

 

“Awe, they look cute right?” Poe cooed, looking down at a curled up Rey and Ben the next morning. Somehow in their sleep the two shifted to where Rey was curled under Ben’s chin, and held close to human furnace.

Sitting up beside him, Finn frowned, tilting his head to the side. “I guess…I never really thought about it.”

“Oh—it will be a thing one day, mark my words,” Poe said nodding in satisfaction. “Give them a couple of years of pinning and then they’ll come to their senses and finally date each other, having a dozen sassy kids, be together forever, and die in each other’s arms just like that.”

Finn blinked at Poe in astonishment. “They are barely even friends and you have their life planned?”

Poe shrugged. “Got to be hopeful for those two. I love ‘em,” he said like it were obvious, earning a surprised nod from Finn. “Come on, lets try to make some instant coffee before Ben wakes up—he’ll try to use all the packets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POE HAS ALWAYS SHIPPED IT. DONT TELL ME OTHERWISE.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	27. November 2009

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I know it's been a hot second since I updated. Super busy with theatre things so I wrote this during down time. Might have something short later too. This little family lifts my writing spirts sometimes :)
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy :)

One thing everyone knew well about Rey Jacobs was she _refused_ to get sick.

That did not mean she didn’t get sick—she was human. Of course she got sick from time to time. Instead she merely refused to acknowledge her sickness and carry on as though her stomach weren’t wreaking havoc on her insides or her throat wasn’t burning like a wildfire every time she inhaled a smidge of air. Furthermore, she was pretty great at hiding her sickness from everyone she came in contact with…well except for _one_.

“Seriously—take a sick day and sleep,” Ben insisted as he watched Rey struggle to drink her lemon tea. They met for lunch, Ben surprised when Rey ordered the soup of the day and lemon tea, but fully understood what was happening when she spoke. “It won’t hurt you—”

“Deadline next week,” she interjected, her voice hoarse and cracking on every other word. “The team has a deadline next week and we need to meet it—”

“At the expense of your health?” Ben said quirking an eyebrow. He could not help but worry over her state of health—deep bags under her eyes make-up could barely cover, pale skin and shaky hands. Her eyes were not as bright, on the verge of bloodshot from lack of sleep. “Rey, I know you think you can do everything—”

She tried to glare but it was more of a pitiful frown. “Don’t you dare finish—”

“But you need to rest,” he said sternly. “Take some Nyquil, go to sleep.”

“I’m fine,” she muttered, nose congested.

She then grabbed a bunch of napkins from the dispenser, holding them under her nose. Only to replace one napkin two seconds later as the first one was filled with snot.

Ben stared at her with frustrated disappointment. She was always like this, letting it get worse until she swimming in a haze of congestion and chest pain. “ _Rey_ —”

“It’s just a little runny nose,” she clarified, wiping her nose raw. “Nothing to worry about.”

Knowing he wasn’t going to win the argument, Ben nodded slowly. “Fine, but at least try to leave early.”

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I’m a big girl, I can handle the work day.”

 

* * *

 

Three hours later, Ben gets a call that is more than a _little_ terrifying.

Rey was taken to the hospital. She passed out at work and her co-worker and friend, Gwen Phasma, had the sense to call the ambulance because she wasn’t waking up. Apparently she was stable, and conscious, but being held for other symptoms.

Naturally, Ben cancelled his appointments with students—it was for level 100 literature course, they were all just going over drafts, nothing too major _thankfully_ —and went straight to the hospital. Of course he had to wait for her consent, something that was becoming more and more bothersome, though necessary as they weren’t technically anything to each other in the eyes of the law. Once he was in her room, he could breathe easier.

Logically, he _knew_ she was okay. But that did not mean he could control his anxiety over the situation.

At the sight of him, Rey had the decency to at least _seem_ apologetic. Though it was more pitiful considering she had an IV attached to her.

“What happened?” he said coming to stand beside her.

“I’m fine—honestly,” she mumbled, before coughing raggedly into the crook of her arm.

“That does not sound fine,” he said tiredly, running a hand through his hair.

“Phasma overreacted,” she sighed deeply, though with obvious struggle. “You didn’t need to come.” Her lips downturned stubbornly, unamused by his presence.

“Like I wouldn’t,” he said with a shake of his head. After all this time, she still occasionally struggle to accept Ben wouldn’t leave her like everyone else. They were friends for the long-haul.

The door then opened, a less than pleased doctor checking off symptoms and writing notes on his clipboard.

“Rey Jacobs?” he said addressing said woman. She nodded, though her eyes squeezed shut from the on coming headache. His eyes then drifted to Ben. “Husband I presume?” The doctor said in acknowledgement

“Something like that,” Ben muttered, “Do you have an idea of what happened? She’s been dealing with some cold symptoms.”

“Well, it looks like Rey experienced dehydration and a moderate case of pneumonia,” the doctor said sternly.

“Pneumonia?” Ben uttered, eyes wide.

“We’ll put you on antibiotics,” he listed, “But you are to be on bedrest—”

“Fucking bedrest?” Rey mumbled under her breath, not pleased with this development.

“—For a few days until your body starts to get back to it’s usual self. Though you are currently contagious, so kids need to be kept away and do some disinfecting, just so it doesn’t spread. Also watch out to see if any symptoms might be developing for the little ones,” he said towards Ben. He then set his eyes on Rey again, “Considering your…well your extensive medical history, we’ll be keeping you overnight, just to check your breathing patterns. Drink plenty of water and _rest_. It’s a good thing we caught this now, instead of later.”

 

* * *

 

“Fucking pneumonia?” Ben uttered, once his initial shock and anger wore off. “Rey, people _die_ from pneumonia.”

“I’m fine—”

“You need to get that word out of your vocabulary because you are not fucking fine if you are sitting in a hospital.”

She bristled, glaring up at him. “And I’d prefer it if you didn’t talk down to me like I am some _child_.”

Ben huffed, trying his best to simmer his anger. “Well what will make you realize you need to take better care of yourself? Hmm?” he questioned earnestly. “Because you have _always_ been bad at this—”

“Because sick days were never a thing for me growing up,” she interrupted snippily, sinking deeper into the scratchy blankets. “You can’t take sick day when you are trying to survive in a house you despise and get good grades to get the fuck out of there. I just…I just don’t know how to do it because I never had that,” she said quietly, obviously not in the mood for arguing. “And I understand where you are coming from…you _care_ ,” she shook her head, “and I appreciate that you _care_ but sometimes you care so much it hurts and you need to take like seven steps back for me to breathe.”

“Okay…” Ben muttered, trying not to be offended. He always cared for her, but maybe it was too much. She was an adult, she didn’t need Ben scolding her and taking care of her like she was still some seventeen year old who lived in his apartment. No, she was twenty-four and he couldn’t care too much if she was going to react like this. “If that is the case…I’ll go—”

“That’s not what I meant,” she said, nearly reaching for him but retracting the moment seconds later. “Ben, don’t be like this.”

“Be like what?”

“Moody and bratty,” she said without emotion, “I _do_ need you—I just…I don’t know how to handle this,” she motioned to herself. “It’s…it’s difficult being this inhibited and actually admitting I am feeling like shit. Telling people that and admitting it hurts to even do fucking bare necessities,” she finished with a tired mumblish-slur.

“You’re not making much sense,” Ben said.

“Maybe because I am fucking tired and I really don’t want to argue when my chest hurts like hell,” she said with a slight wheeze. Exhaustion rested heavily on her, the front she’d been putting up for the last few weeks finally crumbling away.

Ben sighed, some of his frustration ebbing away. “I’m sorry…I…I was scared,” he mumbled under his breath. Cautiously, he stepped closer to the hospital bed. Minding the words of the doctor, he kept a steady distance, going against the urge to hold her. “It’s terrifying getting a call like that.”

“I know,” she said plainly, playing with the edge of the sheet. “And I didn’t want that to happen.”

“No,” Ben shook his head, “I’m glad it did because at least somebody knew and can help.”

Rey looked up at him, a gentle sadness in her eyes. “Ben, you can’t always be there to help me. You got Thea to worry about and your own life—”

“Hey,” he said with tender firmness, “you’re part of that life too. Whether you like it or not.”

Rey didn’t smile or agree, but simply remained silent before closing her eyes for some rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell, even a few years into their friendship, Rey struggles with accepting help and recognizing when she needs help and can't do everything on her own. She a contrary person in some ways, willing to offer help and be a support of Ben, but bristles a little when the favor is returned. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	28. Feburary 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than usual, but this kicks off another arc and it has an important, sweet moment.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later! 
> 
> Enjoy

Turning on her side, Rey faced Ben. He appeared to be asleep, mouth slightly opened and the right side of his face pressed into the pillow. His arm was slung over her waist, though it was more of a heavy weight than caress. She must have shifted away in her sleep, Ben about a foot away from her. Carefully, she scooted closer to him until they were only a few inches apart.

She awoke at some point in the night with the idea and could not fall back asleep. She needed to tell Ben, they needed to start working on this now. It was the obvious thing to do.

“Hey,” she said, nudging him on the chest, “Hey, wake up,” she ordered.

“What?” he mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.

This wasn’t the first time Rey had woken him in the middle of the night. She woke him up when she had weird dreams, or when she was lonely, and almost every time she woke up thinking she accidentally left the lights on downstairs. She’d send him to go check and well, there went his sleep schedule.

Not that he ever complained.

“Ben, I need you to look at me,” she said, unable to hide the giddiness bubbling inside of her.

Gradually he opened his eyes, brown iris staring back at her blearily.

Eh, she’d work with what she could get at three in the morning.

“ _What_?” he repeated, voice heavy and raspy from his interrupted sleep.

“I want you to adopt Max,” she said with a blooming smile.

He was still, looking at her dumbfounded. “Excuse me?”

“I want you to adopt Max,” Rey said again, her hand holding his.

Ben’s eyes shut then blinked opened rapidly as the request finally sunk into his mind. “Uh— _of course_. Of course I’d want to adopt him…” he squeezed his closed then, squinted at her, unable to see well in the dark without his glasses, “…but we kind of need to get married for that to happen—”

“Then let’s get married,” she said wholeheartedly, without reservation. “If you haven’t noticed, you’re _it_ for me. And I just want us to be a complete family,” she said feeling her eyes well up from her unaverred longing. She wanted a family—a real family—all her life, whatever form it maybe be. As child she wanted her parents to come find her, be with her and love her as she grew up. As an adult she somehow found a family with her friends and then Max born into her life…but _this_ …this was finally the family she always wanted and needed. She couldn’t let time continue to slip away.

“Hey,” he said low, voice rumbling comfortingly, “we are a family. We will always be a family,” he assured her, wiping away her tears with the pads of his thumb. “And if you want to make it official, let make it official,” he said between a swallow, unable to hide his own tears from her. “If you just waited a couple more weeks—” He pulled away and reached into his bedside drawer. Turning back to her, a small box was in his hand. “—I was planning on proposing.”

“ _Oh_ ,” she uttered, at a loss for words. All she could do was smile through her tears of joy and nod.

Ben then hesitated, tucking the box under his pillow. “But I can’t really give it to you yet because I promised to do this whole thing with the kids,” he explained, his mouth down-turning. “I don’t want to disappoint them.”

Leaning forward, she pressed a tender, simple kiss to his lips. “Then I’ll wait.”

He softly smiled at her, with an almost boyish charm, Rey’s chest filling with a flourish of warmth at the sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...did anyone figure out what this arc will be about? Because it actually isn't about the wedding...It's about adoption and family. It's going to be linear, kind of like the first one with Jyn's visit.
> 
> Expect some old faces and NEW faces. And a face I have been asked about numerous times that I guess I got to finally reveal *shrugs*.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	29. February & March 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY. 
> 
> Life has been a little crazy--had some awesome life things happen. 
> 
> BUT NOW A CHAPTER.
> 
> We meet some new people!
> 
> Also, I did some research on step-parent adoptions and all that, but I probably got some things wrong. So please be gentle on that front :)
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy :D

“Well, it will be a process,” Rose Tico explained, carefully eyeing Rey and Ben, “But it will be doable…just be patient. Some parents get a little flustered and frustrated as documents are passed around and the social services visits, but I don’t have any worries on those matters.”

Rey and Ben shared a glance, both relieved the adoption was possible.

When Finn recommended Rose Tico, a former pre-law classmate, as their family lawyer a year ago after their surprise visit from Jyn, both were a little hesitant. Neither wanted to cause waves legally with Jyn and the two never followed through with enforcing her limited rights as Thea’s biological mother. Not to mention Jyn had not attempted anymore untimely visits.

But now?

Now, they felt they had a reason—a real reason—to call the lawyer.

“And you two are planning to get married within this year,” Rose said, prompting the phrase like a question.

“Correct,” Ben supplied readily. They had a date set and had already started the process for their marriage license, a court date set in a couple of weeks. The two events wouldn’t coincide, meaning Rey and Ben would be legally married for a few months before their ceremony with family and friends, though neither were bothered by this fact.

“Just to cover all my bases, this is just for Max and _not_ for Thea?” Rose then asked, surprising the couple.

There was a hesitant pause. Neither thought…

“Is that possible?” Ben glanced over at Rey who was surprised at the lawyer’s comment. For some time, Thea had been debating about calling Rey ‘Mom;’ it been a conversation between father and daughter numerous times, the young teenager never quite coming to a consensus on the matter. But to make it official…it could calm the unnecessary guilt gnawing on Thea and actually make both the women in his life happy.

Rose smile gently, “Of course, it might be easier considering how little rights the birth mother currently has…,” Rose went through some files, pulling one from the lower half of the stack. “We’d just need her to sign a few forms to relinquish the rest.”

While Ben was all for the thought, he needed to know if Rey would agree. “Is this something you’d want to do?”

With unshed tears in her eyes, Rey smiled. She reached for his hand and nodded. “Yes, absolutely.”

“I’ll make sure the paper work settled for her as well,” Rose announced. “I just need to know Max’s biological father’s basic information and his terms of custody—”

“He’s not in Max’s life,” Rey interrupted.

“Did he purposely neglect and not provide support?”

Rey tensed for a moment, Ben already knowing the answer. Attempting to be supportive, Ben held her hand firmly, though he was sure Rey’s grip caused a lack of circulation in his hand.

“I…I never told him,” Rey admitted.

Rose stilled, her gaze filled with pity and  then asked. “Is his name on the birth certificate?”

“Yes,” Rey winced, chewing on her lower lip.

“We might have a problem.”

 

* * *

 

“Past me was a fucking idiot,” Rey declared that night, throwing off he duvet as she climbed into bed.

“Don’t say that,” Ben insisted, though with little enthusiasm. It was difficult to be supportive when he happened to also be upset with her previous choices. “You made a mistake, we all make mistakes.”

“No, I was. I thought I could keep this information to myself, that it would never bite me in the ass. But look—here we are, trying to be this happy little family and I screwed it up!”

“Rey—you didn’t screw it up,” Ben muttered, pressing his palms into his eyes, feeling a migraine emerging. “You did what you thought was right—you just need to find him and get him to consent.”

She huffed, flopping back on the pillows. “And what if he doesn’t?” Panic filled her eyes. “What if he takes me to court because I never told him, then I could lose Max!” Her breathing verged on erratic, Ben noticing the signs of an emerging panic attack.

“Sweetheart,” Ben leaned over, pulling Rey into his arms, “you need to breathe. Okay. Just breathe—you are not going to lose Max, and I will be there every step of the way. You are not doing this alone,” he reminded her gently. He rubbed soothing strokes up and down her shoulders and spine, Rey bracing herself into his comfort.

“Okay,” she inhaled deeply, “okay.”

Pressing a kiss on the top of her head, Ben tried his best to wish his own fears and worries away. For once, he needed to be the calm and collected one in the relationship.

 

* * *

 

Despite nearly a decade of not seeing each other, Christopher Revan, or the renowned Dr. Revan in some historian circles, had not aged a day.

Rey kind of fucking hated him for just that reason.

His unruly dark hair was cut neatly and he looked refined, his dark eyes catching to any passerby. He had a long face and large body, looking slightly out of place in little coffee shop where the main color scheme was pastels and browns. The only addition or marker of his age—he was nearing the end of his forties—were the glasses perched high on his nose.

It wasn’t difficult finding his email, claiming wanting to meet to catch up. It was on the Mandalorian University website, the private college only a couple of hours away from Chandrila. He surprisingly agreed, probably not really remembering her, but she could take what she could get. She recalled him to be a hot tempered man who never quite gave students the grades they deserved, some even dared to call him the spawn of Satan, he truly a rude and inconsiderate man. Once she even heard rumors he was an alcoholic with anger problems. And she believed them—it only took one conversation with the man to believe the rumors.

Naturally, Rey never wanted her son around him.

But she really wanted the consent forms signed.

“Hello Dr. Revan,” Rey started as a greeting, standing by the chair of the table. The coffee shop was a meeting point between the two cities, a neutral location as suggested.

Dr. Revan smiled politely, standing up to shake her hand. “Hi—Rey right?”

“Yes,” she said, hoping it did not sound gritted out. The damn bastard did not remember her— _figures_.

“It wasn’t clear and not to sound rude,” Rey refrained an eyeroll at the statement, “but were you a former student of mine…?”

“No,” Rey answered immediately, “Um, why don’t we sit back down?” she motioned to seats in front of them.

He nodded, his eyebrows furrowed. “Do you want me to get you a drink—”

“No, I’m fine,” she said firmly.

He sat down across from her, hesitantly.

She took this as her opportunity to explain. “I wasn’t a former student of yours, but I was a friend of Ben Solo’s—”

“Solo? Wonderful man—a bit of a hardass sometimes, but definitely a good man. How is he doing, by the way, if you two still keep in contact. He had a daughter right?”

Rey blinked in surprise, not expecting Dr. Revan to think so highly of Ben. Also considering Ben sort of despised the man during his undergrad, and subsequently grad years. Their circles rarely touched, but Chandrila University loved to conduct inter-subject seminars, the two men crossing paths more than they anticipated.

“Yes, he does have a daughter. And actually, he and I are engaged,” she clarified.

“Congratulations,” he offered, a genuine smile on his face.

Rey chewed on the inside of her cheek. This was not going how she thought at all.

Dr. Revan was supposed to be…awful. Mean and cruel, and just a jerk. He had been during the entire time she interacted with him pre-intercourse. And she’d been a bit of an emotional and drunk mess when she did sleep with him, and now he was… _nice_?

“Uh, thank you,” she uttered, “That’s actually part of the reason I came here.” She took a deep breath, pinching her thigh under the table. She could do this. “He wants to adopt my son, but I need the birth father’s consent.”

“I don’t under—”

“You’re my son’s birth father,” she said surely.

Dr. Revan’s eyebrows shot up.

“ _Excuse me_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GASP.
> 
> We met him. And he apparently does not remember Rey. Ekkkkkk.
> 
> AND ROSE. MY LOVELY ROSE. She is here and I love her :)
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	30. March 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go!
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> BY THE WAY-- Alcoholism is mentioned, along with sobriety. It's in the tags.
> 
> Enjoy :)

"I am confused."

Rey bristled. Her hands tightened on manila folder clutched in her hands. "You...you don't remember me?" 

Dr. Revan squinted at her, tilting his head to the side. His hair flopped a bit, reminding Rey of Max's odd little hairs flopping side to side. It unnerved her.

"You look familiar," he said apologetically. "But if this was before 2014," he appeared ashamed, bowing his head, "I might not remember. You see, I'm a recovering alcoholic" he explained. Rey hid her surprise, not expecting such blatant honesty. "I've been sober for a few years, but some parts of my life pre-sobriety are just a blur."

"Oh," she muttered, suddenly finding herself unsure of where to take this conversation. Considering his words, Rey realized she was better off explaining their encounter. "Well...in 2012 we had a drunk hook up after Dameron's farewell party, I got knocked up, and I have a son from said hook up."

Their brief encounter was not attractive in the slightest. Rey was upset with Jyn's recent visit, Ben becoming distant, and Dr. Christopher Revan was there, looking just as miserable at the bar. Her alcohol induced brain told her he was the best thing to distract her from the ugly and conflicting emotion stirring havoc in her. One thing led to another, and next thing she knew, Rey was attempting to sneak out of a gated apartment complex at three in the morning. Not the best moment in her life, arguably her lowest if she was being perfectly honest.

Dr. Revan blinked, astonished. However, he did not argue with her accusation. Instead, he appeared unbareably sad over the matter...

This was not good.

"I do remember going to Dameron's party...and waking up in my apartment, but nothing else." Hands clasped together under the table, Rey wanted to knock the memory back into the guy so she could stop recalling memories and feelings she didn't want to reencounter. "But that doesn't mean I don't believe you." He frowned, his slight wrinkles momentarily more prominent. "I simply feel awful I...I could not provide more, or be there for him--"

"He is provided for and has a very loving family," Rey interjected, "I knew what I was doing when I kept the pregnancy to myself."

Dr. Revan stared down at his cup of coffee, a series of emotions flittering across his face. "I think I understand why you kept this from me...I was an asshole, and from what I can tell the whole expereince was out of character for you--"

"Understatement of the century," she declared lowly.

"But I can't sign those papers."

Rey felt her heart stop and stomach drop. "What?" She sat up, jaw tightening. "Why? You don't even know him or have a connection to him--"

"Exactly, I don't because you didn't allow me to," Dr. Revan remained strong on his stance, eyeing her carefully. "I know it was with good reason, but I have changed and I have the right to at least meet my son. I am his dad."

She refrained from correcting him-- he may have been Max's biological father, but he wasn't his _dad._

"Excuse me, I...I need to call Ben," she announced, standing up from the table.

Without another glance, she walked out the coffee shop, blindly reaching for her phone in her purse. She quickly found him in her contacts, Ben picking up on the third ring.

"Hey, how'd--"

"He won't sign the papers and he wants to meet Max," Rey informed him, hoping she didn't sound as frantic as she felt. Fantic and anger mixed oddly in her, however Rey appeared calm and determined. After all, Dr. Revan could see her from the windows.

"What?" His voice dropped lower, "I thought he would have just signed them and moved on."

"Same, but apparently we were wrong." She huffed, shielding her eyes from the midday sun. "He had a change of heart," she said with an eyeroll, lips pinched tight. "Wants to do good...or something."

Ben's deep sigh sounded in her ear.

"Then tell him, you'll let him meet Max...but he has to sign the papers after."

Closing her eyes, Rey took a deep breath. "I don't think he'll agree to that."

"Just try," Ben encouraged. "He gets what he wants, we'll get what we want, and he'll see Max is fine."

It was a leap of faith. But he was right, she could try.

Saying quick goodbyes, Rey tucked her phone away and went back into the coffee shop.

She stood by her chair, but did not sit down, opting to have the higher ground.

Dr. Revan waited paitently, though raised a concerned brow at her fierce demeanour.

"Here is the deal--" her voice came out firm and sure, taking the role of authority she occasional needed to be. "You will meet him, but you need to sign the papers after."

"But what if I want to be in his life?"

 Rey bit the inside of her cheek, attempting to keep her composure. "We'll get to decide that, Ben and I. Alright?"

 

* * *

 

**Meanwhile...**

 

"No."

" _No_?" Ben blanched. "What do you mean, 'no'?"

"I said what I said." Jyn shrugged, before appearing at least a little apologetic.

She stirred her tea, taking a pause to admire the drink--as though he wasn't on a time constraint. He was closer to the kid's schools, Rey at least a couple of hours out of town. He'd have to pick them up, and chauffer them to their after school activities before heading back to campus to lecture his late afternoon class.

Jyn sipped her tea and then set it down daintily on its saucer. "It has nothing to do with Rey or losing parental rights-- she is Thea's mother, I have already accepted that."

"Really?" Ben quirked an eyebrow. "That's mature of you."

"I'm trying to be better," she admitted, though sarcastically. "My concern is what if something bad happens--"

"Jyn--"

"Who is going to take care of Thea? Or Max? I know he doesn't like me, but I still care for the kid." She crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back in the hardwood chair. "I know you guys have your heart in the right place, but I am trying to think of this from a logistical stand point." 

Ben...could not argue with her. Because oddly enough, she had a point. Once she signed her rights away, she had no connection to Thea legally. While Jyn wasn't the best mother, she did want the best for Thea, even if meant begrudgingly pushing away her own selfish desires.

Maybe she was finally growing up.

However, Thea was Rey's daughter in every other sense of the term and Ben wanted to acknowledge their relationship. Because if anything were to happen to him, he'd want Rey to be Thea's guardian. And she was named to be so in his will...

"You're concerned for Thea's wellbeing if anything were to happen to Rey and I?" Ben prompted, eyeing Jyn carefully. He didn't want her pulling a fast one on him, making it about her pride rather than Thea.

"Yes." She picked up her tea and sipped it, deep in contemplation. "I think it is an understandable concern."

"It is." Ben watched as she remain unwavering on her decision, waiting impaitently for this meeting to end. Going against his better judgement, he decided maybe it was best to make a compromise. "Would a reevaluation of my will and change in potential guardianship make you more keen to sign?"

She narrowed her eyes on him. "I don't want to have guardianship of her, at all. It would not be good for either of us, if that is what you are suggesting."

"That's not what I am saying," Ben cleared his throat, already feeling the tingle of the numerous floral scents invading his nostrils. Why'd he let Jyn picking the meeting place? It would be just like her to go to a tea garden spot where his allergies would flare up. "I'm saying the three of us can decide on a legal guardians in the case of an emergency. We'll decide together. Does that make you feel better about this situation?"

She sighed, before nodding in reluctant agreement. "I suppose." She then cringed. "Damn, I'm going to need to call the Erso family lawyer."

Ben frowned, confused by her reaction. "To go over the papers?"

"To change the wording in my will," she declared. She then sat up straighter, her blue eyes staring back at him with puzzlement. "Because you are aware Thea will become the sole recipient of the Erso estate, right?"

" _Estate_?" Ben repeated, his voice rising up. "What do you mean 'estate'?"

"She is my parents only grandchild. I have no plans, nor does my brother, to have any children. Therefore, Thea is the heir to my family's estate," she explained briskly. "She has a little over half a million to her name and will receive it once she's eighteen," she said nonchalantly. She picked up her tea and took a sip. She then grimaced. "Ew, it got cold."

Ben on the other hand, had a difficult time breathing, and it wasn't just because of the hydrangeas to the left of him. Thea--his sweet, reckless, absurd daughter--was going to have over half a million to her name. Thea was, to put simply, _awful_ with money. She was never a child to beg for things, nor did she ever ask for anything outside of their means, but she was still fourteen almost fifteen. Anyone that age could not be trusted with that type of knowledge about their future. But worst of all, Jyn was basically going to hand it over to her in less than three years. _Without even telling him_. Thea could not, in any way, be trusted with that much in her name. Not to mention it would increase once her grandparents passed away.

"Jyn, remember when we signed those custody papers, and I asked you to tell me anything vital-- _this qualifies as vital_."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did everyone forget Jyn's family was wealthy? Because I did for a hot second.
> 
> But yeah....problems for our fav little family. They'll get some of it sorted out...hopefully. I can only guarantee one of the kids will be adopted.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :)


	31. An Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This does not follow current arc, but I have writers block and this helped.
> 
> Also don't kill me after this, because remember, nothing in this fic is linear. CHECK THE TAGS.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy:)

2005

 

“Just hold her for a second.”

Poe’s words came jumbled out, his phone ringing insistently. Hastily, he handed the infant to Rey and dashed out of the room.

For a moment, Rey froze unsure of what to do with the warm buddle in her arms. Awkwardly, she adjusted her hold on little baby Thea and tried to copy how Poe held the child.

When Rey come over for a visit—mostly to steal some mac and cheese from Poe—she did not expect Ben’s tiny daughter to be there. As far as she knew, the new father and daughter were inseparable; she didn’t think the man would leave the infant in anyone else’s care. Ben was a paranoid man by nature, and the thought of leave his pride and joy with _anyone_ probably would give him an aneurism.

But apparently Poe made the cut of the privileged few allowed to babysit Thea.

In her arms, the three month old yawned largely. An involuntary coo escaped Rey at the sight.

While she’d never been one for babies—and she sure as hell didn’t want one—there was something sweet about Baby Thea. Maybe it was because she been lucky to get her dad’s dark eyes and dark hair, reminding Rey of the subtle parts of Ben. Or maybe because she was just tiny and warm, and caused the hormones to stir uncomfortably in Rey. She wasn’t too sure why…but she knew she’d become enraptured with the little girl.

A bright smile then graced the baby, curling more into Rey. Her dark eyes shined with innocence and wonder, a gentle gaze only seen in the eyes of someone so small.

“You’re not that bad,” she murmured to Thea, bopping her tiny button nose.

A giggle burst from Thea, a warmth filling Rey’s chest at the sound.

 

* * *

 

2012

 

“He looks perfect,” Ben muttered to Rey as the nurse handed the infant to her—her little Max.

Rey tired to snort, but it came out as a tired sigh. “No, he looks like an alien—no babies actually look cute when born.”

“Oh come on—”

“No—even Thea looked like an alien for a while.”

“And you know what aliens look like?” Ben prompted, his eyes still locked on little Max in her arms.

“I do,” Rey answered, earning a shake of the head from Ben.

Peering down at her son, Rey felt her heart get caught in her throat. His face was reddish, but fading to a natural color fast, and lips pursed grumpily, as though they disrupted his sleep and refused to wake up. His dark hair dusted his head, no doubt going to have a full head of hair within a few months. He did not open his eyes, but Rey saw little movements under his eyelids, the newborn getting acclimated to his body outside of the womb.

A shaky breath escaped her, tears find heat under her eyes.

Beside her, she felt Ben lean forward. His lips pressed firmly against her temple. “Welcome to the club—” he murmured against her damp hair, “there is a lot of crying, and exhaustion, and yeah the kid looks like an alien for a while but—”

“ _He’s perfect_ ,” Rey found herself mumbling in retaliation.

Ben smiled down at them, “Yeah. He is.”

 

* * *

 

2020

 

“Oh goodness, she is adorable!” Rey cried out at the sight of her new niece—Shara Rey Dameron. The two new father’s beamed proudly at her, their little late baby shower the first time most of their friends and family seeing their latest addition to the family. The adoption plans were later than expected, and it almost didn’t fall through, but the six month old _finally_ made it into the arms of her parents.

“You want to hold her?” Finn asked, begging with his eyes for his oldest and dearest friend to hold his daughter.

“Of course,” Rey said, taking the child in her arms. Shara’s bright almond colored eyes blinked curiously at Rey, her tiny hand reaching for her loose hair.

Rey chuckled, gently catching the infant’s hand with her own.

“Aw—there he is,” Poe announced, seeing Ben finally come back into the room with Max walking tiredly beside him. He let the boy run off to find his older sister, the two just coming back from picking up a late present from Baby Dameron, because naturally Rey and Ben forgot to pick up a gift for the baby shower. “Ben, come meet your niece!”

Her partner came over within moments, his gaze locked on the tiny human in Rey’s arms. “Hello, Little Miss Shara, how are you?” he cooed, Shara giggling at the sight of him.

Gently, Rey passed her niece over to Ben, the two happily staring and speaking to the baby. Shara caught Rey’s index finger and tried to chew on it, the couple chuckling at her little antics.

Finn and Poe glanced at each other curiously.

After a moment, Poe spoke up. “While I love that you guys love Shara, please give us our baby back and make your own if you want another one so bad.”

His words were cold water over the couple, the two frozen.

“What? Us? _Have another kid_?” Ben uttered, rocking on his feet. Shara yawned softly in his arms.

Rey scoffed loudly, scratching behind her ear. “We have two. We’re fine—"

Finn’s eyes blew wide. “Oh my god, are you two trying—”

“ _Shut the fuck up, Finn,”_ Rey hissed, glaring sharply at her friend. Beside her, Ben stilled, his mouth in a tight line. Inhaling deeply, she continued. “It…is something in discussion,” she settled on saying.

“Oh,” Poe smirked at his husband, “They are _so_ trying.”

“I need a drink,” Rey announced, leaving the group to the refreshment table.

The three men awkwardly glanced at each other, afraid to peek over their shoulder at her and see her mentally murdering them.

Shara’s gurgle broke the tense silence. “We are,” Ben sighed, “trying that is…it’s just a touchy subject right now.”

Poe quirked a sympathetic eyebrow. “Your swimmers not working, old man?”

“More like she can have complications,” Ben corrected. “Remember, Max wasn’t an easy pregnancy.”

The other men winced, recalling that time period of Rey’s life. While Finn and Poe didn’t live in the area, they had phone calls with Rey and visited as much as they could, taking the three hour car ride for weekend trips back to their hometown to aid their friend.

Glancing down at Shara, Ben carefully handed the child over to Finn. He felt a hallow echo in his chest as the infant left his arms.

“But, it’ll happen in time,” Ben said quietly. “I don’t have doubts about it.”

* * *

 

2021

 

“Jane looks like a gremlin—” Thea announced at the sight of her newborn sister.

“Thea!” Ben hissed, sitting on the chair beside his wife’s bed. Rey laid asleep, the labor taking far longer than either expected, and was understandably exhausted. “Don’t say that about Jane—”

“But it’s _true_ ,” the sixteen year old argued, before shoving Max further into the room. The girl had recently acquired her driver’s license and had become her younger brother’s chauffer. “Doesn’t she look like a gremlin, Max?”

“I dunno,” he said, not entirely entranced by the tiny human. He came over to Ben’s side, his head tilting to the side as he observed her. “She just looks squishy. She was in Mom’s body right? Then it makes sense she looks squishy.”

Ben nodded gratefully, before looking back at his eldest expectantly.

Thea rolled her eyes. “Fine—she looks cute in a squishy way.”

“Want to hold her?” Ben asked, standing up for Thea to take his seat.

Begrudgingly, she took the offer, sitting down with open arms. The only babies she ever held were Max and her cousin Shara, but Max didn’t count because Thea could only hold him when her dad or mom were sitting beside her the entire time. And she’d only seen baby Shara a handful of times before she was toddling about and didn’t want to be held by her older cousin anymore.

Carefully, Jane was placed in Thea’s arms—

And a cold shrill of panic yanked at her chest at the sight of the newborn. Small and defenseless, under the care of people she knew but didn’t _know_. Living inside a womb and causing _pain_ to her mother for months, and months, her parents believing at one point little Baby Jane was _never_ going to become part of the family. And knowing the labor her mother went through…

Thea needed to get this child out of her arms _now_.

“Um—you know what,” Thea said hurriedly, standing to hand Jane back to her father, “I didn’t wash my hands and I read once, you know wash hands when handling babies and I should really do that.”

With gentle haste, she handed Jane over to her father and bolted out of the room.

Standing with a unsuspecting Jane in his arms, Ben watch as Thea dashed out. He knew the look of pure terror when he saw one.

A heavy sigh escaped him. He wanted to run after his flighty daughter, yet the one in his arms kept him anchored down.

“Ehm—what’s going on?” Rey murmured, waking up. Max perked up and came to her side, Rey smiling tiredly at her son, patting his hair out of his eyes. She frowned once she realized one of her family members was missing. “Where’s—"

Ben turned back to his wife, cutting her off before they fell down a rabbit hole. “Jane Solo wants to meet her Mama,” he announced, taking a seat at the edge of the bed.

When Rey held Jane for the first time, a soft smile graced her lips. “Hello, Jane.”

From the entrance, Thea watched the scene quietly, coming to an unsettling realization about herself—

She might never want to have a child of her own. She _feared_ it.

 

* * *

 

2036

 

“My goodness, the twins look _just like you_ , Max,” Rey chuckled as she observed the little newborns in their basinets.

He smiled shyly at his mother’s comment, his wife Julia amused by his bashfulness.

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Ben muttered before making a funny face at Jacen. The baby blinked at him, but his lips curled. “Little Jacen does have Max’s smile though, so I’ll give that.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “They are beautiful,” she said again, loosing track of how many praises she could sing of her grandchildren. Julia then carefully picked up Millie, the younger twin, and passed her over to her. The baby reminded Rey of Max, dark hair and an emerging shy smile but—

“She has your eyes,” Ben muttered in Rey’s ear.

Tears prickled in her eyes, she smiling up at her husband.

“Yeah, she kind of does.”

 

* * *

 

2041

 

“I wish she was here—she’d know what to do—”

“Thea—” Ben said, brushing away his daughter’s hair, her heavy breathing settling ever so slight. “I’m going to be here the entire time, and so is Eugene,” he nodded to his daughter’s husband, the man’s eyes shining in gratitude for his presence, “and Jane is waiting outside with Max and Julia and the twins,” he took a deep breath, “We are _all_ going to be here for you, _okay_?”

She hiccupped, the wounds still fresh in her heart. “But Mom—”

“I _know_ , sweetheart,” Ben hushed, feeling tears forming in his eyes. “I know—I wish she was here too. We all do, but we are going to get through this, _okay_?”

“Okay,” she whispered, sounding like the child he held all those years ago and not a thirty-six year old woman about to have a child of her own. She inhaled deeply, squeezing her dad’s hand for dear life. “Okay.”

* * *

 

Labor was quick and painful, yet numb, Thea unable to recall what the experience felt like, almost delirious from the medication and surge of hormones.

But what she did feel was her tiny daughter placed in her arms.

She looked like a gremlin, or better yet, an alien. But _perfect_ all the same.

Her baby’s eyes then slowly blinked open, Thea’s heart thudding to the faint stop. Her dark eyes shined with innocence and wonder, a gentle gaze only seen in the eyes of someone so small.

“Hello,” she mumbled, “maybe you aren’t all that bad.”

She lightly bopped her baby’s nose, an uncontrollable yawn coming from her.

“What are you going to name her?” Ben asked, sitting in the far side of the room.

“I…I like Rachel,” she said slowly, “Or ‘Rey’ for short.”

Her dad’s watery smile did not fill her with grief, but _hope_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW BEFORE YOU YELL--
> 
> I always had planned on Rey going first. Yes. I know. I'm evil. But there are only like three chapters planned without her in the picture. If you want to know why, ask in a comments and I'll be happy to explain--somewhat.
> 
> ANYWAYS--This reveals some plot points the next fifteen chapters to hit and so yeah.
> 
> Let me know what you think-- and YEAH, GO AHEAD AND YELL AT ME IN THE COMMENTS, I'LL TAKE IT--comments and kudos are always appreciated.


	32. December 2006

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE YOU GO A HAPPY FLUFFY CHAPTER WITH A BABY THEA!  
> Typos fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy!

“What do you mean you’re not doing anything for the holiday?” Ben sputtered.

Sitting on the floor with Thea, Rey shrugged. The two were playing with building blocks while Ben graded essays. Technically, Rey didn’t _have_ to be there, but her last final was cancelled and she didn’t have much else to do that afternoon. Playing with a baby seemed the best option for her, especially when Ben said he’d order take-out, neither in the mood for cooking.

“I mean _, I’m not doing anything for the holiday_ ,” she repeated. “I have never really done anything for Christmas—”

“Now, that’s a lie,” Ben interjected, marking harshly on a paper with poor MLA citations. “I knew for a fact you did celebrate Christmas when we lived together.”

“Yeah, with Finn,” she said slowly, adding another blue block to her and Thea’s ever growing tower. “And I just kind of celebrated because everyone else was,” she admitted almost shyly embarrassed by the circumstance. “I never really had a real Christmas and I don’t really find the holiday all that exciting—it’s _extremely_ commercialized.” She rattled off the issues with the holiday easily, as though this were not the first time she’d been asked if she celebrated Christmas or any other winter holiday. An answered prepared and face steeled for the evitable pity anyone could give her.

“Every holiday is commercialized, Rey,” Ben argued with a tired sigh. “It’s getting past that—”

“And people spend the holiday with their families, as far as I know I am currently a family of one.”

A sharp frown flashed on Ben, clearly displeased with the comment.

“Then spend it with Thea and I,” Ben offered without much thought, a natural response to her. “You are her _Auntie_ Rey after all. That should count as family enough.”

“ _Wey_!” Thea cheered. Crawling over, she sat herself on Rey’s lap and pressed a loud ‘ _mwah’_ kiss to her chin. The young woman could not help but smile at the affection, pressing her own kiss on Thea’s chubby little cheeks. The one year old giggled happily, more content to be playing with the sleeve of Rey’s sweater than her blocks. Or better yet, steal away Rey’s attention.

The one and a half year old had been doing that more lately, vying for Rey’s attention when she and Ben were talking, going as far as pushing Ben away if he came too close.

Rey sighed. “I don’t know…”

“My parent would probably love it if you came. They haven’t gone all out for Christmas in the last few years, keeping it low key. There won’t even be a gift exchange, except for Thea.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Rey said quietly. Thea’s little hand then patted up at Rey’s face, tapping curiously at her nose. Just then, the baby smiled at her, melting both Rey and Ben’s hearts. “Fine. I’ll consider it. But only because I love Thea and maybe I want to see her in cute Christmas pajamas,” she agreed reluctantly.

Ben nodded, refraining a smile. “I’ll let my mom and dad know.”

 

* * *

 

“Does she drink? Does she like mulled wine? Because we will have plenty—”

Ben rolled his eyes, bouncing Thea in his arms as Han and Leia moved around the kitchen. Naturally, Han focused on making the food at least somewhat edible while Leia made it her mission to make the best mulled wine she could possibly concoct. Luckily, Ben called in take-out for Christmas Eve dinner a few days back, and the food was scheduled to arrive in less than hour. Sometimes calling in Italian take-out was the best way to save their stomachs and Christmas.

“Yes, she does drink, though not much so don’t make it your mission to make Rey your drinking buddy—”

Leia scoffed. “You make me sound like an alcoholic.”

Han and Ben shared a brief look, but neither commented on it.

“You two have met her before,” Ben explained, walking over to the freezer for Thea’s teething ring. She seemed to be in her last stretch of little fits, the horror of teething almost gone. She sucked and nibbled on the ring contently, though occasionally whacked Ben on the shoulder with it. “She came a few years back for spring break, she’s the one who babysits Thea—”

“Of course we know who she is,” Leia declared, “We’ve always known who Rey is—but this is different, Ben!”

“How is it—”

“You invited a woman over for Christmas,” Han interjected, moving to dump the partially charred side from the pan. “You’ve never invited a woman over for anything, let alone _Christmas_.”

Ben paled.

They _thought_ —

Oh no.

“No, no, no,” Ben hastily stuttered, “Rey and I? That’s not a thing, it would not be a thing in a million years.”

Han and Leia stopped, staring at their son, wide eye.

“Wait,” Han held a hand up, “You’re telling me, you invited a woman who you have been over the moon for since forever, and she is still pipsqueak’s babysitter and that’s it?”

“I have—I have not,” Ben shook his head, “I have not been ‘over the moon’—”

“My god, our son’s an idiot,” Leia muttered, stirring the pot of mulled wine.

“I could have told you that,” Han grumbled, dropping the pan in the sink.

Ben flinched, but hid his reaction behind Thea. “I don’t like Rey.”

“ _Wey_?” Thea uttered hearing her favorite person’s name. “ _Wey_!”

“She’ll be here later, Thea,” Ben shushed, the baby quelling back down. “She and I are friends. And we _like_ being friends.”

“Sure,” Leia deadpanned. “You are _fine_ with being friends with the pretty young things that takes care of your child on the daily—you are _completely_ fine—”

“Alright, Mother! I get it,” Ben stressed, adjusting Thea in his arms. “It can have…implications and whatnot, but she and I are really just friends and I ask that you treat her as such.”

The husband and wife shared a glance before begrudgingly nodding in agreement.

“Thank you,” Ben sighed with relief.

 

* * *

 

When Rey came, his parents miraculously listened to him. They didn’t do any nudging and winking like they would have done and instead welcomed Rey into the fold with open arms and a cookie, assuredly store bought. For a moment she appeared unsure, possibly recalling her first interactions with the Solos a few years back, both a little on edge and nosey during those times. However, Han and Leia had mellowed out in the sense of their work lives, seeking to spend more time with each other and their little family.

Food was eaten, the Italian coming through in the nick of time, and pleasant and unforced chatter filled the house. Offhandedly, Ben thought it was one of the better Christmases, seeing his parents actually making an effort to get along and watching his daughter be enamored with those around her.

Naturally, Thea was attached to Rey’s hip the entire night until the baby began to nod off on her shoulder. Leia then took Thea away to be settled in one of the guest rooms, a crib placed there for their granddaughter. They’d get to Thea’s presents in the morning, the baby too tuckered out to try to unwrap anything that night.

Sitting together in the living room, Rey and Ben watched amusedly as Han tried to get his old VCR player to work. He had a copy of _It’s a Wonderful Life_ he insisted they watch, Ben recalling Christmases of his youth where he’d sit and watch the film with his dad, his mother already dozing off in the background.

“Dad, I think you might just need to get a DVD copy—”

“This will work damnit,” Han mumbled, tapping buttons on the remote. “This VCR worked just the other day…” he then went around the television set and started unplugging and moving wires.

From the loveseat, Leia huffed, “Han, seriously?” She then stood up to assess the situation, the couple bickering along the way.

Rey snorted. “I…think I now understand why you are the way you are,” she jested, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. “I don’t remember them being like this from my last visit. It’s kind of nice.”

“They weren’t on the best terms during that break, but they were trying for my sake,” he explained with a shrug.

“That’s admirable I guess,” she muttered. The screen switched from blue to static. An aggravated groan came from Han at the white noise.

“They try for each other and that’s all I can ask for,” he said.

“I think if I get into a serious relationship that’s what I’ll want,” she mused. “I’d just want someone who’d _try_ with me even when I am awful, because it shows they at least care.”

“Yeah,” he uttered, smiling slightly as he watched his father unplug the VCR all together. “Sorry that this is happening,” he gestured to the television, “honestly, this is a first.”

She shrugged. “It’s alright. If all Christmases are like this…then I _guess_ I understand the appeal.” A grin them bloomed on her lips. “Plus, I got so many photos of Thea tonight, I can make a scrapbook, and enough to one day embarrass her at her own wedding,” she chuckled at the idea. “Oh god, I think I felt a pain in my chest at the thought of Thea getting married. She needs to stay little forever.”

“How do you think I feel?” Ben said, wide eye. “She’s my baby.”

Another chuckle escaped Rey, followed by a snort. A sense of glee from the woman Ben was becoming more and more accustom to witnessing.

“So next Christmas, I am definitely bringing along a DVD copy of _It’s a Wonderful Life_ …” Rey declared as Han and Leia struggled to get the VHS out of the slot.

Ben felt a swell in his chest—she said _‘next Christmas’_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Something sweet, mellow, and optimistic.
> 
> Now, I know many of you are upset about the previous chapter, but if one of them had to go (and I say one of them, because this fic is about ups and downs, and the unexpected twists of life) I'd have to pick Rey. Because Rey deserves, even in her last days, to have a complete family. If Ben died before her, she'd always be missing that vital part of her identity of her family because he was the first family she had, along with Finn and Poe. Ben, yes he will mourn and will never love anyone the way he loves Rey and he will stay single for the rest of his life. Sad, I know, especially when I put it into those terms. But I believe he'd be able to become strong for his children and grandchildren, because someone needs to be and Rey would expect him to do so. And if this soothes the soul: Ben was with Rey for her forever.
> 
> With that said, there is still plenty to cover and Rey is still very much alive for most of this fic. I plan on only a handful, maybe max three, chapters where she is not in them at all, but her presence is still genuinely felt. And we will learn what happens to her because it isn't a sudden death and it is something the family will have to cope with. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :)


	33. May 2007 & May 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is something quick! Some angst and some fluff and you will all get something you have been asking for since forever.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later. Tbh, I skimmed it so EXPECT typos.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

**May 2007**

 

Sitting impatiently, Thea watched exasperatedly as Miss Lylla laid out all the color crayons and construction paper on each of the group's tables. She didn’t understand why it took so long to give everyone the arts and crafts but if it meant she could color then it was worth the wait.

“Alright kiddos, were going to spend the rest of the afternoon making a card and presents for Mother’s Day,” her teacher announced as she set down the last tub of crayons on Thea’s group’s table. “Remember, write something nice—like how much you love your mom, or what you like about her. Let me know if you need help with words and we can sound it out together…”

Two kids at Thea’s table lunged for the paper and plastic toy scissors, arguing for the one pink color construction paper. Meanwhile Thea blinked at the white board, squinting at Miss Lylla’s handwriting— _Happy Mother’s Day_ —in perfect print.

Pursing her lips, Thea raised her hand.

Seeing her Miss Lylla came over to her side within moments, knowing Thea was quick to become impatient. She crouched beside Thea, a forced smile on her lips, preparing for the worst. “Yes, Thea?”

Dropping her hand on her lap, Thea turned to Miss Lylla with a large frown. The girl squirmed in her seat, glancing at the two boys at her table. She didn’t want them to hear what she needed to tell Miss Lylla, so she waved the teacher closer. Naturally, the woman complied. Cupping her hands to hide her mouth from eavesdroppers,  Thea whispered, “ _Miss Lylla, I don’t hav’ a  mommy_.”

Miss Lylla frowned for a moment, not expecting Thea to make such a blunt statement. “Oh sweetie…let’s um, here. ” Thinking quick on her feet, the teacher grabbed a piece of paper and a crayon. “Why don’t you make a card for someone else…like your grandma or aunt—”

“But they’re not my mommy,” Thea interrupted, arms crossed stubbornly over her chest. “How can I make a Mother’s Day card when I have no mommy?”

Miss Lylla blinked, a slow wince forming the longer she gazed at the four year old girl. “Then how about a card for your daddy—”

Thea’s nose scrunched up. “But he’s my daddy, not my mommy!”

“You don’t have a mommy?” One of the boys at her table, Matty, spoke up. He then laughed, “Everyone has a mommy,” he told her slowly, like she was stupid. His voice made Thea’s blood boil, her anger getting too much in her chest. “That means she doesn’t like you!”

“ _Shut up_!” Thea yelled, ready to lunge at the boy.

Luckily, Miss Lylla caught her before she could do any harm. “Enough, both of you,” the teacher ordered. The boy cowered slightly, turning back to his card without further warning. Miss Lylla then picked up a couple of papers and crayons and put them in front of Thea. “Why don’t you have some free draw time, hm?”

Thea nodded slowly, though that did not stop the stinging behind her eyes.

 

 

 

Rushing to the classroom, Rey slowed to a walk a few feet away. She was late picking up Thea— _again_ —but she was only about fifteen minutes late and it wasn’t as though the teacher didn’t already know this unfortunate fact about Rey. She couldn’t help that her supervisor loved to keep her longer than scheduled.

Opening the door, she found Thea sitting glumly at her chair, Miss Lylla beside her.

“Hey, Squirt, lets skedaddle,” Rey said stepping closer to the four year old. When Thea didn’t move, Rey glanced at the preschool teacher, earning pitiful glance.

“Thea, your Aunt Rey is here,” Miss Lylla tried.

Stubborn, Thea kept her head tucked down in her arms.

Pursing her lips, Rey pulled up the little seat on the other side of Thea and sat down. While it was more squatting than sitting, she tried to make the best of it. With a gentle hand, she brushed away Thea’s curls. The hair had fallen out from Ben’s carefully arranged braids, more of an unruly mess from all her running around.

“Thea, why don’t you tell your aunt about today?” Miss Lylla asked, earning a stubborn shake of the head from Thea.

Rey’s eyes narrowed, knowing something grave must have set the girl off if she was refusing to speak. Gathering Thea closer to her, the girl naturally curling up in her embrace, Rey held her closer. “What happened? She’s never quiet like this.”

Miss Lylla sighed. “Mother’s Day is this weekend,” Rey’s face immediately darkened, having her own tribulations about the holiday. “And the kids were making cards, well except for Thea—she refused, saying she didn’t have a mommy, and one of the other kids said her mother didn’t like her,” she explained tiredly, feeling for the little girl. “I tried to diffuse the situation and let her free draw, but I’m afraid she was more upset than she let on.”

Rey nodded, feeling Thea cling tighter to her jacket. “I see…” Soothingly, she rubbed a circle into Thea’s back. “I’ll talk to Ben about it.”

Carefully carrying the unusually silent little girl, Rey signed her out of class and walked with her back to the car. With some practiced maneuvering, she unlocked the car and opened the backseat, Thea’s car seat waiting. As Rey buckled Thea up, the girl sniffled.

She then sniffled again.

And then a third time, the water works raining down.

“Oh, Thea,” Rey sighed, reaching for the girl again. Instead, Thea shook her head and turned away, arms crossed over her chest.

Rey tried to reach for her one more time only to receive a harsh, little voiced, “ _No_.”

Knowing when she was not wanted, Rey double checked Thea’s seatbelt and closed the backseat door.

Taking a moment, Rey inhaled a shaky breath. She then walked around the car and went to the driver’s seat. Swallowing tightly at the sound of Thea’s muffled cries, Rey started the car. The low rumble of the engine and familiar streets lulled the four year old’s cries as they drove around the neighborhood for few minutes. Only little hiccups came from the girl as Rey started to take the normal route to her apartment.

“You know…not everyone has a mommy,” Rey said quietly, glancing at Thea’s red face in the rearview mirror. Her tiny nose shined bright with lingering snot and her eyelashes wet, Thea not great at wiping her tears away. “And you have a mommy, remember? You’re mum visited last July,” Rey reminded her gently.

“That was forever ago,” Thea mumbled, arms still crossed over her chest. “She’s not a mommy-mommy. A _real_ mommy.”

 “What is a real mommy?”

“Someone who loves you, and takes care of you, and gives you kisses and hugs,” she listed, lips pursed as she thought of more things mommy’s do. “Mommy’s are a lot like daddy’s I guess,” she finished with a shrug.

“Well, you can make a card or celebrate your grandma. She’s your daddy’s mommy.”

Thea’s face screwed up as she considered the suggestion. “That’s what Miss Lylla said.”

“Lots of people don’t have mommy’s,” Rey pulled into her complex’s parking lot, driving slow to her spot. “Some don’t even have daddy’s.”

“That’s sad.”

“I know.”

“Do you have a mommy or daddy, Auntie Rey?” her tiny voice asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer.

Rey paused, putting the car into park. “No, no I don’t.”

A pitiful, ‘oh’ was heard from the backseat.

“But that’s okay,” Rey announced, turning in her seat to look back at Thea, “Because I have people who love me like a mommy and daddy love their child, like your grandma and your grandpa, and that’s enough for me.” Leia and Han didn’t impose their love on Rey, but let their doors and care be open to her when ever she decided to take it. It took a few years, as she’d never received unconditionally love at such a unrelenting and unwavering capacity, however she eventually grew accustom to their welcoming warmth. Visiting Leia on Mother’s Day would not be a surprise or unusual, Rey and her with plans for brunch that Sunday.

For good measure, Rey smiled at Thea, the girl brightening a little at the sight.

“So…if someone loves me like a mommy or is a mommy to someone I love, then I can celebat—,” she frowned, and tried again, “ _celebrate_ them?”

For an instance, Rey did not know how to react to Thea’s words. The girl was seemingly confused and lost on the idea of Mother’s Day. She found this odd, considering how difficult it was for anyone of any age to run away from commercialized holidays unless… _Unless_ Ben actively hid the holiday from Thea.

Rey wouldn’t put it past that paranoid man to pull some shit like that.

“Of course.”

 

 

 

When Ben came by later that afternoon, Rey stopped him at the front door.

“Did you seriously try to hide _Mother’s Day_ from your daughter?”

He blanched, frozen at the question. “Uh—define hide?”

Rolling her eyes, Rey smacked his bicep. “You can’t do that!” She ignored how firm he felt and the casual yet attractive roll of his sleeves and loose tie. He just came from work, and went to get dinner if the plastic bag from _Luna’s_ were anything to go by. “You can’t hide a national holiday from your daughter.”

His dark eyes narrowed on her, Ben standing taller from his resting slouch. “I can if I think it will hurt her. Jyn never comes around and I don’t want Thea to hurt on Mother’s Day—”

“But what about your own mother?”

“She and I have an _agreement_ about Mother’s Day,” he responded acutely, “Plus she has you, and she _likes_ spending Mother’s Day with you, it lets her forget all the crap her own parents have.”

Rey didn’t argue on the stance of his mother anymore, dropping the topic. Ben and Leia had their ups and downs, occasionally going into months of silence due to petty disagreements. If they found a system, then so be it.

“Thea cried and said she didn’t have a mommy at school today.” Saying it felt like relieving the entire afternoon again.

“ _What_?”

“Yeah,” Rey shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest, “because kids sometimes say shitty things like ‘mum’s don’t like you if they are not around’, which it bullshit.”

Silently Ben fumed. “Well, is she okay? Can I see her?” Ben implored impatiently. Nevertheless his eyes shined with gratitude.

Moving aside, Rey let him into the apartment, taking the food before he could go any further. Ben spotted Thea in the living room, surrounded with craft paper and markers. Any signs of crying were gone and her hair was pulled into three little buns.

“Hey Thea-Bear,” he greeted, his daughter barely sparing him a glance. Taking a seat on the couch by the coffee table she was using as her desk, Ben peered over her. “Wha’cha working on?”

Thea’s eyes peeked up curiously at him. Pressing a finger to her lips and shushing, she waved him closer. Ben leaned forward, Thea’s tiny hand cupping together to whisper in his ear.

“ _I’m making Nana Leia and Auntie Rey Mother’s Day cards_.”

Giggles erupted from her as she wiggled away from Ben. She picked up the marker she left behind and went back to work.

He blinked. “Oh, okay—”

“But you can’t tell anyone! It’s a surprise,” Thea ordered sternly, her hands on her hips.

Ben crossed his heart, a smile forming on his lips. “I promise. I won’t say a word.”

Apparently, they were _now_ celebrating Mother’s Day. And maybe Ben could get on board, especially if his mother and Rey were the one’s Thea wanted to be with on that day.

 

* * *

 

**May 2020**

 

“Thank you so much, Maxie!” Rey kissed the top of her sons head, ruffling his hair after. He ducked out of her reach and ran off to ‘help’ Ben in the kitchen. He was probably going to try to steal some muffins, but Ben already tucked those away for the drive to his mother’s.

Mother’s Day brunch started in a couple of hours, the little family running around to get everything together and making sure they did not forget anything. Naturally, they were going to run late but at least they were trying to be on time this go around.

Glancing at the card her son made for her (a list of all the things he loved about her, one of which was about how she liked video games just as much as him) Rey went back upstairs to put it away in her room. As she passed Thea’s room, she paused.

She hadn’t seen the girl all morning and Ben mentioned something about Thea calling Jyn. The two were trying to be better about communicating and keeping up to date, since legally they still bound together as parent and child until Thea’s eighteenth birthday.

While the matter still brought a pang to Rey’s heart, she did her best to not dwell on it.

Hesitantly, she knocked on the door.

“Thea—I just wanted to check in, see where you are at getting ready…”

Shuffling was heard on the other side, the door opening within seconds. The fifteen year old gave a closed mouth smile as she held the phone up, showing she was put on hold with Jyn.

“It’s probably going to drop again,” the girl muttered. Shaking her head, she ended the phone call. “But I’m almost ready,” she assured her, already turning to go back into her room.

Rey nodded, knocking on the doorframe. “Alright, make sure to help your dad with—”

“Wait a second, I have a card for you—”

Rey waved her off. “Oh, Thea you don’t have to—”

Thea shook her head with a knowing grin, the envelope held out to Rey. “You say that every year, and very year I give you one. Here,” she insisted.

Rey took the card, despite her protests and opened it.

The usual printed message of Happy Mother’s Day decorated the inside, however Thea’s handwriting was right under.

_Thank you for being the mom I always needed. I can’t imagine being raised by anyone else, but you._

_Love,_

_Your Daughter_

Rey blinked, feeling tears prickling her eyes. “Thea, I—”

Thea lunged forward, wrapping Rey in a tight hug. Rey gently brushed Thea’s long curls and pressed a kiss to the girl’s temple.

“Happy Mother’s Day… _Mom_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHE CALLED HER MOM. *sobs*
> 
> Also got a little reveal about what happens on Thea and Ben's end with making Rey her legal guardian :(
> 
> Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mother's--biological, in spirit, at heart, and the mother's to furry babies too--you are all amazing and you deserve today :D
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :D


	34. February 2040

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter does discuss illness and death of a major character. Specifically a potentially terminal illness. 
> 
> On another note...
> 
> I am writing the next chapter of 'Holding On To You' but this has been sitting in my docs for over a month and I thought maybe it might be best to slowly drop bits of what is happening to Rey than long, sad and angsty chapters like I originally planned.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy.

The walk back to the car was in silence, the weight of the news weighing on the two. Rey refrained from reacting, only nodding at the specialist in understanding and planning for her next appointment and getting her prescription to help with the pain. Ben did not know what to say when they met with the doctor; he knew pulmonary fibrosis or pulmonary hypertension were a possibilities, but to hear the severity of her condition…well he didn’t expect to feel like he was drowning in a sea of waves.

About halfway through their silent drive, Ben cleared his throat. “I would donate my left lung for you.”

“Lungs aren’t like kidneys, Ben,” Rey muttered, staring straight ahead on the road. “You kind of need both of them to survive.”

“But we know what it is—”

“Yup.”

“—And you’re on the organ donor list—”

“Lower because of my age.”

“—And you are getting medication—”

“To lessen the pain that will _always_ be there.”

“—And you will be fine—”

Rey scoffed, her voice cracking. “You were _there_ —you _heard_ him. He said more or less a year left without the transplant.”

Ben swallowed tightly. “Rey…”

She sighed resignedly. “Ben, I’m probably going to die—”

“No—you don’t get to say that. You don’t get to fucking say that!”

Blinking rapidly, he pulled to the side of the road. Parking hastily, he squeezed his eyes shut, unable to will himself to look at the road, or the wheel, or at her.

“You..” he heaved a heavy breath, dropping his head to the steering wheel. “You don’t get to fucking say that,” he repeated quietly. “Because…because we are trying and we are going to find a way to make you feel better—”

“Ben—you don’t get it,” Rey interjected heatedly, “I will _always_ be in pain. Transplant or not, I will still have it and I will eventually need to be on a respiratory ventilator all the time, and won’t be able to do anything—”

He winced. Flashes of Rey sitting, constrained to a bed with a machine pumping air into her lungs, surged through his mind. She hated bedrest, she fucking loathe being restricted to a bed and chair for the rest of her days. Rey wanted to run after her grandchildren, she wanted to be able to go hiking with Jane, or take trips to the coast with him. She liked to be active and move; she preferred to be free. To be free and do what she wanted.

He licked his lips, pulling away from the wheel. “You will still be with us—”

“ _At what cost_?” she hissed, struggling to take a deep breath. Hot tears spilled from her eyes, Rey not bothering to wipe them away. “I can’t imagine a life like that. Do you want me to live like that?”

Silence fell over the two, the tension between the two pulsing.

_No, of course he didn’t want her to live like that._

But Ben was a selfish man.

“I don’t want to live my life without you in it,” he admitted, staring straight ahead. He couldn’t look at her, if he looked at her it’d be over. It’d be true, and he’d have to start facing a reality he didn’t want to welcome. “I don’t even remember what that is like,” he said, his breath stuttering. “You’re my best friend, you are my wife, you are the mother of my children—”

“ _Ben_ —”

“And it fucking hurts…to…to think,” he paused, his vision blurred from unshed tears. “To _know_ that I’m going to have to do that and not share it with you.”

A sob broke through him, reverberating through his chest. Strangled and raw, he wept, not caring they were parked not even a few miles from their house or cars were slowing down to see what happened, only to continue speeding by once they realized it was just a parked car. Not aware a man and woman’s life had the began the process to be forever altered.

He once said, off handedly, his worst fear was dying. Fearing he’d die without finishing business, without telling his loved ones how much he cared, without holding Rey in his arms one last time, or hugging his children close.

But now he knew the honest answer; he feared loosing his loved ones, not being able to help them, losing them to something he could not combat with his wit and protection.

Faintly, he felt her lay a hand upon his. Smaller and warmer, rubbing soothing circles on the back of his hand.

“Love…,” she began, threading her free hand through his hair, “I can’t bare the thought either,” she spoke quietly, a hush. “And I am upset, but…but I _can’t_ be upset because I am still here _right now_ , with you and I need to use my time wisely.”

He nodded slowly, twisting his hand palm up to hold hers. His thumb brushed over her pulse point, sure and steady.

“We need to tell the kids,” he mumbled, his voice horse and the tears still flowing. Ben wasn’t too sure if the crying would ever stop at this point.

Rey hesitated at the suggestion. “I…I don’t want them to worry,” she closed her eyes, smiling a tight-lip, forced smile. “Jane has her classes, Max the twins, and Thea—”

“Thea _should_ know,” Ben said, putting his foot down on the matter. “I understand, you don’t want to be a burden,” she flinched at the remark, though did not argue, “but Thea can help. Out of all the kids, she lives closest, and your license still needs to be reinstated,” he reminded her. “Not to mention, who knows with all the tests they run, if the DMV would even give you back your license at this point.”

Rey chewed on the inside of her cheek, thinking over the suggestion. “I suppose she can know…I just don’t want the kids to worry or fuss over me—I want things to be as normal as possible.”

“Alright,” Ben answered, pressing a kiss to her temple. “We can be normal.”

 

* * *

 

That night—and every night after—Ben held her close to his chest. His right hand resting to the left of her chest; willing, praying, banishing the pain in her lungs away despite knowing his efforts were futile. She was getting worse and her medication did little the wane the pain.

The pulmonary specialist prescribed her a mechanical ventilation machine a couple months after her diagnosis along with the request for her to be less active, manage her days based on how she felt, and getting rest.

She joked it was like one of those knight masks, Rey mocking deep breathing like some villain from a space opera.

Ben smiled, but did not feel joy at the sight of the machine.

Still, he held her, even if it meant scooting to her side of the bed and hearing the whirring of the machine up close.

 

* * *

 

“Idiopathic Pulmonary Hypertension,” Thea declared, scanning through her notes. “I had time between classes and researched all I could on the illness and there are options. Plenty of options. We just need to try them all—”

Rey’s face fell at her eldest daughter’s words.

“Thea—” Ben interjected.

“There are medications, and breathing respirators, and transplants, I mean Mom is in good health for most of her life—"

“ _Thea_ ,” Ben stated firmer, catching his daughter’s attention. She clamped her mouth shut, eyes darting between Rey and Ben who sat opposite her at the dinning table. “We know there are options, we’ve looked and have checked the probability of them working at this stage.”

“ _And_?” Thea prompted.

Husband and wife shared a tired and painful glance, Ben breaking away to face his daughter once more. “ _Sweetheart_ …”

“No, I won’t allow it,” Thea declared, sounding far younger than her thirty-three years. Loose strands of dark hair escaped her messy bun on the top of her head, she shaking her head vehemently.

Rey snorted, hiding it poorly behind her hand.

Recollecting himself, Ben sighed, yet remained calm. It was better to break the news this way, than let himself get caught up in the emotions with her. “Thea, we’re just biding time now.”

“You sound like you two are giving up before even trying—”

“Thea, it’s not like that,” Ben caught his daughter’s gaze, her deep and dark eyes, troubled as he explained the situation. “Idiopathic Pulmonary Hypertension is not something easily detected, we wouldn’t have even known unless your mother passed out. We went through so many specialists to narrow it down.”

“But she’s healthy—”

“Doesn’t matter how healthy you are,” Ben argued. Thea eyes slammed shut at his booming voice, feeling the frustration and pain in his words. “It is in vessels and arties by the lungs; you can have the best heart but if the lungs are struggling to get blood flowing…” He shook his head, sensing Thea wasn’t listening by the sharp downturn of her mouth.

From across the table, Rey took Thea’s hand. “Thea, I know you want a solution and a cause…but that’s the thing with idiopathic, they can’t find a cause. It just shows up.”

“So what?” Thea said, swallowing tightly and her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You are just going to wait it out until you die?”

Neither answered. Their lack of response was an answer in itself.

“I can’t believe this,” she breathed, “Does…does anyone else know? Max? Jane? Uncle Finn and Uncle Poe?”

Ben cleared his throat, “Uh, no. You are the first person we’ve told.”  

Pinching her lips together, Thea stared back at her parents.

“How long?” She inhaled, her breath getting caught in her throat. “How long until…”

“The doctor says about a year without the transplant.”

Thea closed her eyes, nodding once. “Okay… _okay_.”

It’d be a long year…but they’d some how make through it. At least that was the hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idiopathic Pulmonary Hypertension is usually found in women between the ages of 40 to mid 50s, who have been in perfectly good health and it starts with little to no reason. It is difficult to detect unless it is in its worst stages, as we are seeing in this fic, where it is simply biding time and coping until the inevitable, or it is caught early (though this is extremely rare) and medication and other methods (transplants and whatnot) are used to extend life expectancy. This is the rarest form of pulmonary hypertension.
> 
> If this chapter was difficult to swallow and hurts, just know I feel the same. However, there will be a happy chapter soon :)
> 
> Let me know what you think. Comments and kudos are always appreciated :)


	35. June 2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IS A HAPPY TWO PARTER BECAUSE WE DESERVE IT!
> 
> Also, this is a few months before Rey and Ben decide to move in together ala the original fic this entire series sprouted from. We'll finally see when Ben starts getting those feels for Rey again because ya know, they come and go for him.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy :)

“Are we there yet?” Thea mumbled as she leaned between the middle console of the car.

Ben peaked down at his daughter, quirking a less than amused brow. “Why don’t you look out the window Thea—does it look _like_ we are there yet?”

Both looked outside the window, still seeing the Los Angeles traffic at a standstill.

The twelve year old huffed at the sight, falling back in her seat.

“But I’m hungry and we have been in this car _forever_ ,” she stressed, slumping against the stack of pillows between her and Max’s seat. The pillows jostled to the left, nudging Max. The five year old beside her didn’t even flinch, his noise cancelling headphones firmly in place over his ears as he watched _Ratatouille_ on his tablet for the second time since they started their trip.

In the passenger seat, Rey twisted to face Thea.

“We bought snacks before we left—did you seriously eat them all?” she asked the preteen. “Because it was supposed to last a scenario like this.”

The girl sunk further into her seat, Rey shaking her head. Thea at least had the decency to appear guilty.

Shaking his head, Ben’s hands squeezed the steering wheel. “This is why I wanted to leave earlier. To avoid this,” he gestured to the backed up road.

“We left at noon and we still got the L.A. rush hour traffic,” Rey reminded him, fiddling with the A/C, “there was never going to be any winning for this situation.”

While they’d been on numerous family vacations together through the year, the two friends had never hit the _big one_ —Disneyland.

And for every reason under the sun. When Thea was younger, Ben avoid amusement parks like the plague. He didn’t like nor care for the kiddie rides Thea could ride on at that age. He also did not see the point of going to an amusement park when she was under the age of four when she’d be least likely to remember the experience. Of course this did not stop the questions from his daughter…and Ben caved to take a trip in the winter a few years back, except Max’s impending birth kind of put the trip on the backburner as Rey was going into labor the week of the Solo’s vacation.

With Max’s arrival, the cycle of avoiding amusement parks began again, but for an entirely different reason— _sensory overload_. Rey, unsurprisingly, adored amusement parks and would have no qualms of bring her son along. However, the waiting in lines and massive crowds sent the boy into a tizzy, causing massive meltdowns.

They had their 2015 Knott’s Berry Farm Christmas trip as evidence. Max throwing himself on the floor, almost resulting in a head injury while standing in line to meet Charlie Brown truly put fear in Rey. She didn’t want her son, who could not communicate to get lost or scream out when she did not have the ability to figure out what was wrong.

So amusement parks didn’t happen for a while.

Of course that was almost three years ago and Max has been in behavioral therapy for a couple of years, Ben bringing the idea of Disneyland up to Rey. They could go together, Rey getting on silly and obnoxious rides Ben had no desire to near with Thea while he handled Max when the kid needed to take a break from it all. Not to mention the amusement park had accommodations for guests on the spectrum and could provide assistance if need be.

After some research and careful planning, their little three day trip would go off without a hitch—if only they’d survive the Los Angeles traffic to get there.

“Mom,” Max’s little voice then chimed from the backseat.

“Yes, love?” Rey asked, glancing over at her son.

He squirmed in his seat.

Dread filled her gut.

“I have to go pee.”

Sighing, Ben dropped his head on the steering wheel. His head then popped back up half a second later, he looked up at Max through the rearview mirror. “How long do you think you can hold it, buddy?”

His little lips quirked to the side, thinking. Nodding to himself, he held up three fingers.

“Minutes?” Rey prompted.

Max nodded.

“I guess we _have_ to stop somewhere now,” Thea interjected, earning a scathing look from both Rey and Ben. “What? It’s true.”

“When you have kids one day, you will understand the pain of stopping anywhere, for any trip,” Ben told his daughter.

Thea rolled her eyes, but did not comment back.

Begrudgingly, Ben flicked his blinker on, waiting until he saw an opening to get off the highway. Which seemed unlikely, the traffic moving inch by inch.

“You’re going to need to hold it a little longer, buddy,” Ben muttered.

They weren’t even at the damn amusement park yet, and Ben was already regretting this decision just because of the travel.

 

* * *

 

Once Max used the restroom at a less than clean McDonalds off the 405 and the kids were bought chicken nuggets and fries to stop their hoopla, the rest of the drive to Anaheim was calm.

Well, calm for the kids.

“I am telling you to take the left,” Rey repeated for the third time, the GPS app open on her cell phone. They’d been arguing about the directions nonstop since struggling to get back on the highway.

“But I am in the right lane.”

“I _told_ you get into the far left lane.”

“Well, I can’t switch lanes now, it’s jammed packed.”

“You can switch lanes—”

“Yeah, illegally.”

Rey scoffed, frustrated with his stubborn driving skills. “Then let me drive.”

“No.” Ben ignored her glare. “If I let you drive we will end up with a ticket, speed demon. We’ll get there fine.”

She didn’t quite believe him, pursing her lips with a shake of her head.

 

* * *

 

“Can we listen to something else?” Thea asked in the fifth hour of the trip. “I’m getting really tired of listening to Morrissey sing sad songs. I get it-- he’s _sad_!”

Rey snorted, earning an eyeroll from Ben.

“What?” She chuckled. “Your daughter isn’t wrong. We have been listening to 80’s punk for almost the entire time we’ve been on the road.”

“No,” Ben said, shaking his shoulders to get a throbbing kink out. His back was going to be sore in the morning with all the sitting he was doing. “We are not going to change it. I am giving you the best gift— _culture_.” Rey scoffed at the claim. “And taste. Do you think other kids your age know the wonders of Joy Division and how The Smiths speak to the soul?”

Thea didn’t say anything, merely watching her father with tired exasperation.

“No, they don’t Thea. I am teaching you here—you should be taking notes on this. We’ll have a quiz later.” He sounded every bit serious on the matter. “Kids your age listen to all this pop shrivel, but not you. I am giving you a cornucopia of music to appreciate—"

“Auntie Rey, make him stop,” Thea groaned dramatically, staring despondently out the window.

“ _Oh my god_ ,” Rey mumbled as both Solo’s continued with their talking—Ben not shutting up about how he was going to teach Thea the importance of understanding his music (if only Ben realized how much he sounded like his own father in that moment), and Thea speaking louder complaints of her father.

“How about we let Thea listen to what she wants to listen”

“I’d rather listen to what Max listen to than what Thea listens to,” Ben interjected.

An indignant gasp came from Thea, yet everyone in the car opted to ignore her.

Hearing his name, Max perked up and handed off his tablet to Rey. Sighing gravely, she took the device and disconnect Ben’s phone from the AUX cord. Plugging in Max’s tablet the song he’d been playing on loop for the last few days came through the speaker—

_“Baby Shark do-do-do-doo…”_

“Fuck,” Ben muttered under his breath. “How about _no_ music?”

 

* * *

 

At some point, Rey dozed off during the ride. The car was quiet except for Ben humming a nonsensical tune under his breath. Peeking over her shoulder, she noticed Thea and Max had succumb to slumber as well. Lifting her head, her eyes scanned the GPS, seeing they were only an hour away.

In the driver’s seat, Ben remained stoic, his sunglasses pushed over his head as the sun began to set no longer needing to shield his eyes from the unrelenting sun.

Quietly, she observed him, finding she rarely had to opportunity to do so. They’d been friends for years, but it’s been a good while since she _looked_ at her best friend. To notice the moles and freckles on his face, or to see how he worried his lips together as he drove through the easing traffic. She knew his face well, could recite it perfectly from memory if asked to…but there was something different about noticing in this moment.

Because there was really nothing special about watching Ben drive.

“I can feel you staring at me.”

Rey quirked an eyebrow, sitting up. “Oh really now?”

“Yup.” His eyes roved to her before landing back on the road again. “What’s up? You got that look on your face, like you have something on your mind.”

“Oh,” Rey shook her head, some of her loose hair bouncing in her face, “it’s nothing.”

“You sure?” he implored innocently.

“Yeah,” she said, looking back out on the road. “Hey…you know you are my best friend and I love you right?” She said simply, not sure what was brought upon her to remind him.

Ben blinked dumbly, “ _Yeah_ …”

“Okay…I just wanted to let you know.”

He glanced at her, eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Okay, weirdo. No need to lay the compliments on thick—I’m already taking you to Disneyland.”

“You’re not taking _me_ to Disneyland,” she stressed with a growing grin, “We are taking the _kids_ to Disneyland.”

“Let’s be real,” Ben said as he merged into a new lane, “I am taking _you_ to Disneyland; you’ll be worse than both the kids combined.”

She couldn’t hold back her smirk.

 

* * *

 

After being on the road for nine hours, two of those hours purely traffic and stops, they arrived at their hotel. Thea bounded out of the car, singing praises of fresh air while Ben went about getting a sleepy Max out of his car seat. Checking in was easy, Rey going through the process a little bleary eyed. Packing and full day of traveling took a toll on her, she hoping to just crawl into bed and get enough sleep for a full day in the park.

Once getting to their room, Max was tucked into one of the double beds. Rey carefully removed his shoes and tugged on more comfortable clothing on him. His glasses were last to be moved, place on the bedside table immediately in the boy’s reach.

Quickly, Thea claimed the spot beside Max, smiling primly up at her father after he sent her a questioning glance.

“He’s small, more room to spread,” she declared, falling back into the pillows happily.

“Sure, kid,” he said before picking Thea up and depositing her unceremoniously on the identical double bed beside them, “I sleep here with Maxie and you sleep with Auntie Rey,” he told her sternly, acutely knowing how her little devious mind worked.

The rest of them got ready for an early bed time, Thea brushing her teeth and in pajamas by nine-thirty and Rey already claiming the bathroom after her. The television played quietly, Ben leaving it on TVLand, _Golden Girls_ playing in the background.

He was beginning to doze off to the sound of the shower running and upbeat tune of the _Golden Girl’s_ theme song when a sleepy eyed Max came crawling over to him, panic in his hazel eyes.

“Uncle Ben, Uncle Ben,” he shook Ben’s shoulder roughly, “We leave Porgy in the car.”

Rubbing his eyes, Ben sat up at the boy’s frantic words. “Oh, I’m sorry, buddy. I forgot to grab him when I brought you up here.” Feeling his tailbone ache for a moment as he moved to stand back up, Ben ignored it in favor of ushering Maz back to bed. “I’ll go get him right now, okay?”

Max nodded in understanding, climbing back under the covers.

Grabbing one of the room cards and his keys from the desk, Ben made his way back down to the couple of floors to the parking garage. On autopilot, he trekked to the car and found Porgy tucked safely beside Max’s car seat. Locking the door behind him, he came back to room in less than ten minutes.

Max was thankfully dozing back to sleep, his Porgy taken with relief and sleepy joy.

What caused Ben to halt was _Thea_ —the little demon switched beds while he was gone, and was in deep sleep beside Max.

Just as Ben was about to pick up his stubborn daughter and place back where she belonged, the bathroom door opened. Rey exited, fully dressed for bed, depositing her dirty clothes in an extra bag.

“What are you still doing up?” she said with a yawn, “I thought you’d already be asleep.”

“We forgot Porgy in the car. Had to go get him, plus I have to use to restroom.” He waved to the door behind her.

She yawned again as she nodded, moving to the free bed, not even acknowledging Thea pulled a fast one on them. “You like the left side right?” she asked, lifting the covers for the opposite side.

If sharing a bed wasn’t bothering Rey—after all it _shouldn’t_ , they’d shared a bed plenty of times and it never bothered her before—then it shouldn’t bother him. He was a fucking grown man.

But… it just seemed different. It wasn’t as though they intentionally shared a bed before in the past, always accidentally falling asleep or in the camping trip’s case, needing to keep warm from not freezing their asses off.

And not to mention he was once again feeling _things_ for her…

Her comment during their drive was playing on loop in his mind…which was confusing considering her usual comments of loving him never quiet got under his skin like they did this time.

Getting over himself, Ben went to get ready for bed—he’d deal with his Rey situation one day at a time. Like he always did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so they didn't technically go to the happiest place on earth yet, but they will next chapter!
> 
> This is also the second fic where I have complained about L.A. traffic XD I can't help it.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers! :D


	36. June 2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the previous chapter, but more snap-shotty. 
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

“We don’t need a stroller,” Ben declared, bypassing the rent-a-stroller station at the crowded park entrance. If there was one thing he was glad about his tween-age daughter, it was the lack of strollers in their lives. During the infant and toddler years, Ben loathed lugging a stroller around, no matter the occasion. Their morning walks and jogs were the only time when Thea was a baby did Ben actually grateful for the damn contraption.

“I beg to differ,” Rey said, already struggling to walk with Max beside her. “I am not going to be carrying him all day,” she nodded to the boy, whose noise cancelling headphones were firmly in place over his ears. “Are you going to be carrying him all day?”

Max blinked up at him, his hazel eyes magnified from his glasses.

As much as Ben loved the kid, carrying through out the park was getting less and less appealing by the second.

“I’m get a stroller,” he said, turning on his heel and heading to the station.

Stroller days were apparently not over for him.

 

* * *

 

“I fucking hate this ride,” Ben mumbled, Rey hearing him over Max’s head.

Without even bothering to glance at him, Rey pinched his arm— _hard_.

“There are _kids_ all around, Ben,” she hissed. “Do you think I actually _like_ this one?”

Ben rolled his eyes, humming along to the annoying song under his breath. _“It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears…”_

The boy sat between them, watching the happy animatronics sing ‘It’s A Small World’ with fascination. On the other side of Rey, Thea watched with a hint of fear and amusement, the boat rocking as they made their way through the show room.

“I don’t think I like this ride,” Thea whispered to Rey. “Why was there a long line for this one?”

“It’s a classic,” Ben said, leaning over to speak to his daughter. “No one actually likes this one—it’s terrifying when you think about it. A room full of little sing robots, acting like they are alive—”

“Excuse me,” a parent sitting in the row in front of them interrupted, “There are children here and I don’t appreciate—”

“Right, _children_ ,” Rey interjected before the man could continue, smiling tightly. “Wouldn’t want to make anyone upset, _right_?”

The man frowned, turning back to face forward, he visibly shaken by Rey.

Beside her Thea snickered, trying her best to hide it behind her hand.

 

* * *

 

“Dad, can you carry me?”

Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek, glad he was wearing sunglasses and his daughter could not see the fierce glare he was struggling to contain.

“Thea—you are twelve,” he reminded her sharply, “I am _not_ going to carry you.”

“But my legs hurt,” she grumbled, kicking a leg out for emphasis.

Ben ignored her whines, readjusting the straps of his backpack. Looking out to where the strollers were parked, he saw Rey walking towards them with a cheerfully refreshed Max. The boy fell asleep around noon, only four hours into their day in the park, Rey and Thea taking advantage of going on _The Haunted Mansion_ and _Splash Mountain_ during that time. Max had coward at the sight and screams coming from that side of park during their lunch at the _French Market_ , it ultimately decided he would not go on the rides and stick with Ben. Not that Ben complained—a good half hour or two to just sit and people watch near the _Rivers of America_ was not a bad time. Especially since he could see the slow construction of the newest land beyond the trees and fake mountain of _Frontierland_ in _New Orleans Square_.**

Realizing he wasn’t going to cave, she plopped herself on the ground in the middle of the line for _Pirates of the Caribbean_.

Ben huffed, glancing around to the others in line. Most weren’t paying attention, either talking with their own families or playing phone games with friends.

“Thea, get off the ground. It is only a fifteen minutes wait—”

“But I’m tired, Dad” she bemoaned, leaning her head on his calf.

The line started moving. “Fine. Enjoy the ground, I’m moving.”

With a grumble she got back up and moved along in the line with him. Soon, Rey and Max joined them, muttering apologies to others they passed.

Bumping into Ben’s legs, the line moving too quick for the boy, Max held his arms up. “Uncle Ben, can you carry me?”

“Of course, buddy.” He reached down to pick up Max, when an indignant scoff came from Thea.

“You said you couldn’t carry me, but you can carry Max?”

Ben rolled his eyes, moving past her as Max happily wrapped his arms around Ben’s neck.

“ _Thea_ —you’re twelve, Max is five and little,” he reminded her, catching Rey’s barely refrained chuckles from the corner of his eye. “If you ask me to carry you one more time, I am going to stick you in the stroller like a baby.”

“Fine,” the girl grumbled, as they made it up the stairs in to the slightly muggy entrance of the building. Music of the theme song blasted through the speaks, other patrons singing along jovially or less than enthusiastically, the day already waning on.

“Do pirates _really_ live in there?” Max asked quietly by Ben’s ear.

“Yes, they are the Disneyland Pirates. They have their own little homes in there,” Ben answered without batting an eyelash.

The boy frowned at the building surrounding them, as though doing the calculations in his mind. “But it looks small.”

“It’s smaller on the outside and bigger on the inside,” Ben said automatically, unable to hide his smirk.

“Don’t make him into a _Doctor Who_ fan,” Rey ordered, overhearing the conversation. “I cannot have all of you crying over the damn show all the time.”

Walking beside Rey, Thea shook her head. “One day you’ll understand, the _Doctor Who_ life is not simply chosen, it chooses you.” Getting into another line for their row on the boat, Thea smiled brightly at the sight of the end of the line. “Yes, we are almost there!”

“Thank god,” Ben mumbled as they stepped up to the boat.

“You’re just as bad as her you know,” Rey said getting the tail end of their little group.

“I exhibit patience,” he argued, earning a similar look of disbelief from both Rey and Thea. “I do!”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

 

* * *

 

After hitting _Indiana Jones_ with their fastpasses and going to the horrid _Enchanted_ _Tikki Room_ —Ben hoped the kids got the attraction out of their system and never wanted to go to it in the future—they were in line for _Jungle Cruise._ Apparently the wait time was less that twenty minutes, anything more and Rey would have vetoed. Anything longer than twenty minutes and then they’d be testing Max’s limits. However, they were getting close the original wait time and only halfway through the line, bunched together on the stairs. Useless stairs honestly, only there to move the line to a more compact space and bring them right back down to where the boats loaded up.

But of course, explaining that to kids was pointless.

Beside him Max shuffled about on two steps, Thea watching with little interest, all her whining and complaining ceasing after _Pirates of the Caribbean_. The Southern California afternoon humidity was already getting to her hair, the same as Ben’s, their wavy locks frizzing the longer they remained outside. She continued to shove and brush her hair away from her neck and face throughout the day; she was finally reaching her wits end about it.

“Here,” Rey motioned for Thea to come closer, the girl’s back to her. Carefully she tied up Thea’s hair in loose yet neat bun at the top of her head. “All better?”

Thea nodded, the line starting to move again. Quickly the girl grabbed Max’s hand, a habit she seemed to have formed whenever they started walking anywhere in the park. It was helpful, though Thea sometimes needed someone else to hold her hand to prevent her from wandering around in the park without them.

Making their way down the second set of stairs, Ben noticed an older woman a few paces behind them watching with a fond smile. Her own family surrounded her, all young adults and teenagers, playing a charades game on one of their phones.

Realizing she been caught, she chuckled lightly. “I am just admiring your family; your kids are adorable,” she complimented, her eyes darting to Thea and Max, the boy chatting rapidly about maybe seeing Mickey Mouse the following day. Naturally, Thea listened, humming and agreeing at all the right spots and correcting him on anything he got wrong.

“Thank you,” Rey supplied, when Ben did not speak immediately. “They are alright.”

“How old are they?”

“Twelve and five,” Rey continued the conversation, Ben walking a step ahead. He wasn’t keen to engage, though of course this did not stop Rey from socializing.

“You two were smart to have a large age difference,” the woman nodded towards Thea, “you get your own little helper. I had all my kids a year or two apart. When your husband asks if you want to stop at three, say yes. Don’t cave for the fourth or fifth,” she said teasingly, however Ben noticed a twinge of pain in her eyes at her words.

“Oh, I think we are good with the two,” Rey answered, her eyes wide at the thought of more kids in. She scanned over the woman’s group, deflating slightly. “Where is your husband? Sitting out for the ride?”

The woman shook her head with a sad smile, “He passed away a couple years back. Every summer we’d take the entire family to Disneyland for the weekend. We stopped for a bit after his death, but we decided to take it back up again this year.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Rey said, trailing after Ben and the kids as she walked along side the woman. “I can’t even imagine what it’d be to lose…” she shook her head, unable to wrap her head around the thought of losing Ben—even though he wasn’t her husband, he was her best friend. “That’s good that your family decided to pick back up the tradition.”

“Little things like that keep the memory of the person alive,” the woman said, “and you still need to live, I got my kids. Living is just a little different,” she explained simply. “Plus I know Ron would loose it if we didn’t all go on _Jungle Cruise_ together, he loved this ride despite all its ridiculousness,” she said with a chuckle.

They came up to the boats, cast members leading guests on. Ben lifted Max easily into the boat, looking back to where Rey stood.

“Go to your family, it was lovely chatting with you,” the woman said, her kids heading towards the boat coming up to the docks.

Rey waved her goodbye, climbing on the boat with the help of the cast member. She plopped down on the other side of Ben on the bench. The kids sat to his left, Max between him and Thea, the girl keeping a watchful eye on the boy.

As the skipper started his slew of puns and outlandish stories, Rey nudged Ben.

“Promise me you won’t die before me,” she ordered quietly.

Ben’s eyebrows shot up, he pushing his sunglasses over his head. “That’s…an oddly morbid request.”

“Just promise.”

“Okay…” he trailed off, “I promise to not die before you—are you okay?” he asked, genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she shrugged, “I just wanted to make sure we were clear on that. I’m the person who dies first in this friendship, because…” she shook her head. “Whatever,” she said lamely, turning to look out the boat.

“Mom, look the hippo,” Max giggled out, pointing the animatronic hippo in the water.

“I see!”

Ben frowned at her for a moment, before shaking off the weird conversation. Leave it to Rey to bring up something like _mortality_ at Disneyland.

 

* * *

 

“I told you the stroller would come in handy.”

“Yeah, for _Max_ ,” Ben adjusted said sleeping boy in his arms, “Not Thea.”

The twelve year old was awkwardly curled up in the stroller, asleep, unaware of the world passing by her.

Rey looked down at the girl, readjusting her Minnie Mouse sweater to cover her head. The cool night air was starting to settle over the park, the four sitting on a bench in the little alcove where   _Main Street_ , _Fantasyland_ , and _Tomorrowland_ converged. Ben recalled from his own childhood how it’s been an unofficial meet-and-greet spot for characters but had been moved sometime between the nineties and early two-thousands.

“Still useful,” Rey argued, watching as other families moved through the darkening park and finding spots to sit for the parade. The plan was for the kids to see the parade that night, but they somehow tuckered themselves out, falling asleep before the parade started. Not in the mood to necessarily walk back to the hotel carrying the kids, and still wanting to see the fireworks, Ben and Rey decided to stick around.

Which meant mostly watching as the park transitioned to its night life, a show in itself.

“I’m surprised Thea didn’t con you into buying more things. Just a hat I guess does it for her,” Rey commented. The girl was determined to get a Ears Hat the moment she stepped into the park, Rey and Ben nearly loosing her when she ran off to the nearest shop in the park.

“Oh no, I know her game,” Ben mumbled, his cheek resting on the top of Max’s head, “She is acting like she doesn’t want anything right now until she sees something she _really_ wants, that will undoubtedly be ridiculously expensive, and she’ll declare she hasn’t asked for anything but the hat since we got here.” His eyes narrowed at his daughter, she snoring softly. “She’s not going to pull a fast one on me.”

Rey hummed in agreement. Reaching over, she removed Max’s glasses and tuck them into her backpack. She didn’t want them falling off his face as he slept. Carefully, she placed his noise cancelling headphones over his ears, the boy unmoving at the gesture.

“But you’ll cave anyways.”

“No I won’t,” Ben said sternly, “I won’t because Thea needs to learn she can’t get everything—”

“Yes a wonderful lesson to teach while she is in fucking Disneyland,” she said sarcastically.

Silence lapsed between the two as they watched a couple try to calm down a crying toddler. Another family passed, the kids older and rushing towards _Tomorrowland_ , chatter about _Space Mountain_ consuming the four. A group of young adults then walked by, quieting down when they noticed Rey and Ben with their sleeping kids. A girl smiled at them, cooing a bit at the sight before getting dragged along by the rest of her friends.

“I’m liking this trip so far,” Rey admitted quietly. “We should try to go on more family trips.”

“Yeah…its not as bad as I thought it would be,” Ben said, glancing over at Rey. “Though I think we need to stagger Disneyland. No way am I doing this shit every year.”

“I agree wholeheartedly,” she chuckled, a smile on her lips, “But something every summer. I never went on trips growing up and I think the kids deserve it.”

Ben nodded, a yawn following. “I’d like that…I guess that is one thing I can thank my parents—they tried to have at least one family trip with all of us together every year. It was chaos and we ended up hating each other by the end seventy-five percent of the time but…but it was worth it.”

Rey yawned, letting herself slowly slide to the side, resting her head against Ben’s free shoulder. “Wake me up when the fireworks start.”

“I will,” he promised.

As his family fell asleep around him, Ben allowed himself to smile, realizing he’d be okay with it just being the four of them forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a little overview of the first day of their trip!
> 
> Got some foreshadowed things in this one, mostly things we already know, but fun little nods. Like Ben, buddy, your stroller days will not be over when Jane comes around in a few years.
> 
> **What Ben see's while sitting at the Rivers of America is the construction of Galaxy's Edge. During 2017 and 2018, you could see the construction at certain locations in Critter Country, New Orleans Square, and Frontierland. I am speaking from experience :D Also a lot of attractions connected to Rivers of America were cancelled at the time because Galaxy's Edge was right over the 'mountain'.
> 
> And before any says it in the comments (because for some reason this treat has a cult following) I didn't have them eat the Dole Whip treats at the Tikki Room because lo-and-behold, I don't think they are really all that great *shrugs*
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	37. October 2041

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...bring the tissues. This one hurts. A lot. I cried writing this about every other sentence.
> 
> WARNING: Character death discussed, suicide briefly mention (doesn't happen), pregnancy stuff, and grief. Lots of grief.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.

* * *

 

 

It’s a Sunday when it happens.

And Ben is completely despondent.

He simply nods when the cause of death is accounted, expecting the situation to be as such. He and Rey talked about it months before her last breath was taken, yet it did not stop the pain evident in his eyes.

The funeral was planned quickly, most of it arranged before her death because Rey wanted everything to be simple and easy for her family. No burdens.

Max takes the news easier than expected—easier than anyone anticipated. He cries, of course. They all cry—except for Ben. But Max gets himself together and is relieved his mother no longer had to suffer through pain. Always the sensitive one despite his blunt honesty, Max withered at the sight of his mother’s struggle. A death had more mercy than a life long disease of pain and limitations.

Jane was upset; she throws glasses and plates, fighting through any fits of sobs waiting to break through her chest. However she only lasted a day before she caved and mourned in tears and curses. Her boyfriend, Matthew, had been a godsend. He watched after her, cared for her, held her, spoke to her in ways no one else could. Somewhere between death and funeral, Jane accepted the reality of their family. Her mother was gone, her father was broken, yet her siblings remained standing.

Thea…she reacts similarly to her father.

She is silent, yet fierce. She cries, only in private. Eugene fears the stress would cause harm to the baby—the baby they struggled to conceive in the first place—and tries to coax her out of the turmoil stewing in her brain. She listens to him, not lost to her own thoughts for long. Out of all her siblings she had the most time to accept the news, yet she attempted to remain in denial for as long as she could. Soaking up the last remaining moments she had with her mother in forced ignorance.

Yet Ben remained closed off. He spoke little, ate little, and rarely slept. And if he did sleep, it was in the guest room.

The funeral was small, only family and close friends invited. Rey wouldn’t want it otherwise.

_“She was so young.”_

_“Gone too soon.”_

_“God always takes the good ones.”_

The words crowded the family, the adult children nodding and smiling in thanks despite the desire to sneer otherwise. They knew their mother was young—only in her fifties. They knew she was gone too soon—Jane was only in college, Max was barely married with kids, and Thea had one on the way. And they knew God always took the good ones—their mother was far too good for any of them to claim their own, and it took her being on her death bed to realize this.

“I don’t think Ben will ever be the same,” their grandmother, Leia, mutter quietly as the wake. “He loved that girl more than he ever loved anything. She captured his heart before he truly understood what love meant.”

Thea frowned at the comment. “I never doubted they loved each other…but…” she shook her head. “Nana Leia, he…as much as it hurts to say it…could live life without her if he tried.”

Leia shook her head. “Thea, my dear, you may not realize it but…your parent’s love was not simple romantic love. It was made of unconditional love, held together with the endurance of friendship. Their love was such stuff dreams were made of—a longing of faith and hope. If there were such an existence of soulmates, that is what they would be.” Her tired voice held conviction and honesty Thea felt in strong waves. “I fear for his heart,” she said, concerned etched on her face. “With nothing holding him back, he’d follow her straight to the grave.”

Thea’s heart stuttered at the thought. Her _father_ —committing suicide, intentionally or unintentionally? It seemed unlikely. Yet the loss of one parent put her on edge for the other.

 

* * *

 

“I’m surprised this is still standing,” Leia took a seat beside him out on the back porch swing, “your father built it before you were even born.”

Remaining silent, Ben quietly sipped his coffee, eyes focused on the rising sun over the backyard.

Somehow, over the course of a week, his entire family squeezed themselves into his house. Max had commandeered his and Jane’s old room, his wife and twins shuffling in their belongs one afternoon from their apartment downtown. Jane wasn’t too far to follow, all too happy to take the basement to allow Max the space upstairs. His eldest had already moved back in with Eugene a few months back to help around the house, taking his and Rey’s old room. It hadn’t _really_ been their room for years, opting to move downstairs into the former study as their kids grew older. Let them have their own privacy, making Thea’s old room a study while she’d been abroad so many years ago.

Now his mother was in his goddamn house, taking his study and making it her own little home too. Weird, considering he now lived in the room she had as her own for over thirty years, his parents giving him the house once they reached retirement and wanted to have the coastal air on their skin than the valley heat beating on their backs.

Ben had no other option but to sleep in _their_ room for the first time in two weeks.

Much sleeping did not happen, he staying awake and reading for most of the night. He might have dozed here and there, but he did not dare touch the bed covers.

“You know,” Leia said with a hum, “I want to say…’it gets easier,’ but son,” a shaky breath left her, “it really doesn’t sometimes.”

Ben’s jaw twitched.

“When you father passed, I couldn’t…I struggled to be content and I don’t think I will ever be content—”

“Dad died because he never heeded to warnings about driving during storms,” Ben interjected, “Not to mention he already lived a long life—he was in his fucking eighties.”

“ _Ben_ —”

“My wife died because for some fucking reason an artery decided to enlarge in her lung and completely crippled it. She had a perfect bill of health besides that.” He inhaled sharply. “She was fine…we were fine, the kids were great and this fucking shitted on our entire life.”

“Son, I know—”

“No you don’t,” he croaked out, unable to look at her, “You had Dad for _years_. You two got to grow old together despite his death.” He forced himself to swallow, unshed tears remaining on the brim. “I don’t get to have that. I don’t get to grow old with my best friend like we planned.” He picked up his coffee mug again, fiddling with the handle. “She was only fifty-three, Mom.”

Leia had no words to balm the wound within her son. All she could to was sit with him, cry with him, and hold his hand until he was strong enough to let go.

She felt like she was teaching him how to walk all over again.

 

* * *

 

Her dad didn’t like sitting with them at dinner.

Jane tried to not let it bother her more than it clearly did.

Her dad preferred to eat in his study. That’s all he did these days—read, read, read, read. Work in the study. Write. Sleep in there. He avoided several of the rooms unless absolutely necessary. His bedroom, the kitchen, the living room…it seemed the only room he did not look gutted at the sight with his study.

Apparently, he was returning back to work in the Spring semester. Thea claimed he needed more time off—their mother passed and the holidays were right around the corner. Their dad wouldn’t be able to handle all the emotions and events—he needed more time to adjust.

Unsurprisingly, Eugene disagreed with Thea.

“He needs a routine and to be doing something he loves,” he argued over dinner one night. More often than not the topic of ‘Dad’ came up at the table, and no one shied away from sharing their two cents. They were stuck in this situation together—they were a little village who needed to help their leader. Children suddenly, and firmly, thrust into the adult positions they had ignored for far too long. “You may not believe all the time, but Ben _thrives_ when teaching. Going back to work might get him back to normal—”

“My dad is never going to get back to normal,” Thea interjected sharply, “I’d really appreciate it if everyone stops saying ‘get him back to normal’.” Her dark eyes roved over everyone at the table, not even stuttering when she made eye contact with Nana Leia. “My dad’s normal was with my mom. He’s never going to get back to that normal.”

“So he finds a new one,” Max said from the other end of the table. “It’s not going to be easy, but Dad will find a way. He always does.” He turned back to his food, eating quietly. Beside him, his wife Julia, squeezed his hand but he barely registered her gesture. However, the woman did not mind, simply smiling lightly at him.

 _Max_ …their mother’s death hit him differently than the rest of the family. Understandably, Jane believed he’d react the worst out of them all. Mom was his _mom_ before all of them; Max was ‘the baby’ even if he’d been the middle child. He’d always been the apple of their mother’s eye and they held a relationship Jane could never quite understand.

To say she was jealous of Max…well that’s be an understatement.

Not that she didn’t love her brother—Jane adored him for a time in her youth—but as she grew older, she found herself longing for the closeness he somehow acquired from ever single person in the family. Even Thea and Max had a close relationship, closer than most siblings despite their age difference.

If the entire family was put on a spectrum of grief, Max took their mother’s death the best while their father was completely on the other side.

And it annoyed the hell out of Jane.

Their mother was dead, yet Max did not shed a tear at the funeral nor the wake. Even in the last two weeks, it was almost as though he was acting as if nothing happened at all. Which was the farthest thing from the truth.

So she took her opportunity to rip one into him when they cleaned up dinner, volunteering herself when he asked for help.

“I don’t get it,” she declared the moment they were alone.

Max frowned, staring to set the dishes to soak. “Don’t get what?”

“ _You_ ,” she said, waving to him with the dish towel. “You are acting like everything is fine, when it’s fucking not.”

Max blinked at her, before reaching up and cleaning his glasses with the edge of his shirt. “I know things are not fine.”

“Then…then why…why aren’t you mourning like the rest of us?” she accused. “You laugh and joke, and you have this ridiculous blind faith in Dad.” She scoffed at the thought of their father, coming to the point she felt it was becoming a poor title for the man these last few weeks. “Like he can do _anything_ —like fucking Superman. I hate to break it to you Max, but he’s not. He is broken and we are trying to put the pieces of him back together again without the manual—because—because Mom was the manual!”

He put his glasses back on, still blinking slowly at her. “I know Dad is broken.” Turning back to the sink, he turned off the water. “And he _can_ do anything.”

“No he _can’t_ ,” Jane muttered, rubbing her forehead. “If anything solidifies Dad is merely a man, this situation does.” She squeezed her eyes shut, taking a deep breath. “Why…why can’t you just be like the rest of us with this?”

“Because I made a promise to Mom.”

Jane’s eyes snapped open—she didn’t expect that answer.

“What?”

“I made a promise to Mom,” Max repeated, picking up the sponge and soap. He squeezed a perfect quarter size amount onto the sponge. Methodically, he slowly began scrubbing the dishes. “She asked me look out for Dad and to be myself. She and I talked a lot leading up to her death,” he said bluntly.

“Yeah, I know,” she grumbled. Every time she’d try to come in to talk, Max or Dad or Thea or Eugene were there. She got her time in, but her mother didn’t speak much, preferring to listen to Jane.

“She made me promise to not lose hope or become lost in the emotions,” he continued, still scrubbing one plate. “She also told me Dad would take it the hardest, along with you and Thea—” Jane rolled her eyes; of course her mother thought this. Her mom thought of everything. “But she knew I’d accept it even though it would be difficult.”

“And why would it be easy for you to accept it?”

“Because…” his hands stopped, the sponge gripped tightly in his hand, “Because while it hurts us that she is gone and it hurt her to see us see her that way…she regretted nothing in her life. She was happy because she got to have all of us with her until the end.” He reached up and removed his glasses again, wiping away silent tears. “How can I be upset when I know she died at her happiest? When I know she didn’t die alone, conquering her fear of abandonment? We never left her—Dad never left her.” He put his glasses back on, stepping towards her. “Jane we did our job as children for her, now we need to follow through with Dad. Like I promised Mom.”

As much as Jane felt jealousy and anger at Max’s simple and calm answer, she did not restrain herself from crumpling into tears against him.

It took a moment, but Max held her back.

“You say a lot of wise stuff like her,” she mumbled into his shirt as more tears followed.

“I know.”

She snorted, squeezing him closer.

 

* * *

 

Thea doesn’t really know what caused her to snap.

Eugene suggested hormones.

She pinched his arm at that remark.

It’d been a few weeks since her mom’s passing. Eugene had gone off for a conference a couple of days earlier, with a promise to be back on Sunday night. Julia took the twins to her parents for visit since they’d mostly be confined to the house beside work over the last couple of months. Nana Leia had brunch with some old friends, Thea knowing it would mostly be old biddies drinking mimosas and gossiping.

For the first time in months it was just them—her, Max, Jane, and Dad. In the house. The first time all together since Mom passed.

It takes Ben walking into the living room where they all sat watching _Tarzan_ (because it was the only program playing on T.V. they could all agree on), and him immediately walking right back out when he noticed it was _just_ them.

So maybe Thea knows exactly what caused her to snap because she saw his face. The heartbreak, pain, and anger meshed together in defiance. The neck breaking speed he turned back around and left the room, and she couldn’t contain it any more.

“Nice to know when we lose one parent, we lose the other! Didn’t know Mom’s death was a package deal,” she shouted towards his back, not sure where all this anger surged out of her nor where the words came from.

Beside her, Jane gapped and sunk further into the cushions.

They heard their father’s footsteps stop. And then pick up again until her dad was back in the room, his eyes ablaze.

Thea didn’t cower at the sight, merely watching him with matching eyes.

“Don’t speak like that—”

“I’m only telling you the truth,” she shot back, sitting up. “I haven’t seen you _six days_ , Dad. Six days!” Thea had tried to catch him in the afternoon, but he went to bed early. Then when she tried to find him in the morning, he wasn’t in the house—on a run or at his office on campus. Then when he was at the house, he was locked up in one of the rooms, ignoring the rest of the world. “I never see you and when I do happen to catch a glimpse of you, it is like the world ended—”

He moved further into the room, towering over them. “Because you know what, Thea? _My world did end_!” he bellowed, all eyes on him as he clenched and unclenched his hands. “Your mother—your mother—she meant _everything_ to me. She was my best friend, she was my family—”

“ _She was our family too_ ,” she remined him, her voice rising just as loud. “She was our Mom, Dad. She was the one we ran to for everything, and now she is gone! And yeah that fucking sucks, but we are still here—your children—”

“How would you like it if Eugene suddenly died?” he interrupted, pacing in front of the couch. “He went off on his conference and then never came back, huh?”

Her dad’s question struck too hard.

“Dad—”

“To have him ripped away from you when you promised each other you’d be together forever?” Her dad continued his rampage, tears betraying him and his voice croaking the longer he spoke. “To be told by fate a big fat ‘fuck you’? That you can’t be with that person you love and have always loved, to the point they are practically part of every fiber of your being.”

Like a trooper, Thea stood and took it, listening.

She was the oldest. She’d seen her dad upset, she’d seen her dad lose his shit.

Of course, this was different, but she was the oldest and if any of them could handle his yelling with some levelheadedness, it was Thea.

“I don’t fucking remember what life was like without her, Thea,” he cried out. “She’s been in my life before _all of you_ —before you were even a thought. To be frank, I would have probably accidentally killed you when you were a baby if it weren’t for her! She’s the one who pushed me and challenged me, and made me feel less lonely in this fucking shitty world,” he heaved, face blotchy and snort running down to his chin. “ _I am_ nothing _without her!”_

No one spoke for a moment. Only sniffles and their Dad’s ragged breaths. Jane sat on the furthest end of the couch, her eyes wide on her father. He’d always been the big loveable bear to the girl. On the loveseat, Max kept his eyes down, only listening to the conversation. He wasn’t one to engage; he’d leave the headstrong approach to Jane and Thea as he always did.

An ugly pain twisted inside Thea.

“Ah,” she wheezed, doubling over. Then the pain became ten times more unbearable, she attempting to catch herself on the edge of the couch.

“Thea,” she heard her dad stutter out, rushing toward her. “Thea, sweetheart—what’s wrong?” he asked, all former pretenses gone. His voice went from raging to soft and concerning father within moments.

“I think I need to go to the hospital,” she admitted, feeling another wave of pain.

She heard a flurry for moment as he siblings rushed around to get the car keys and her purse. Thea barely regarded them, focusing on her breathing and grip of her father’s hand in her own.

 

* * *

 

“I just got off the phone with Eugene,” Max announced taking a seat with Ben in the waiting room. “Told him it was a false alarm, no baby on the way, but Thea would need to be on bedrest.”

“She’ll hate bedrest,” Ben muttered, recalling how Rey despised bedrest while she’d been pregnant with both Max and Jane. “But I think we can make it a little more comfortable for Thea. Get her a hobby or something.”

Max nodded, fiddling with his phone.

Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek, his hands clasped over his abdomen.

Neither spoke, the relief over Thea’s condition and the sting of Ben’s yelling still in the air.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Max said quietly. “The doctor said it would have happened even if you weren’t yelling or caused Thea stress. She is just naturally a stressful person and didn’t heed well to previous warnings.”

Ben dropped his chin into his palm, rubbing his jaw. A scruff had grew, forming a close beard. Rey would have never let him grow it that long; she liked a little facial hair or nothing at all.

_“I don’t want you to hide your face. You also look creepier for some reason.”_

_“You think I’m creepy?”_

_“No…maybe a little?”_

_“Seriously?”_

_“Okay, maybe ‘creepy’ wasn’t the right word. ‘Mysterious’?”_

_“I think you are just trying to make me feel better. Flattery is not a virtue, Rey.”_

A low sigh escaped him, Ben closing his eyes to forget the room and world for a moment. “I shouldn’t have been yelling in the first place. I think I have only yelled at Thea maybe…” he paused, taking a mental count, “…maybe six times her entire life. Never yelled at her when she was an adult.”

“Grief makes us do things we normally wouldn’t do,” Max said glancing over at Ben. “It’s okay to be upset, Dad.”

Ben’s lips quirked to the side, refraining from having a few choice words. Over the years, Ben had argued with his son, the two having disagreements, but never anything major. With Max…he was simply easier to talk to because of his unfiltered honesty. Pretending with Max never got anywhere, the boy—well man—understanding more than he ever let on. Maybe that’s why Ben felt he could speak freely with him, not to mention his oddly controlled anger. There were still random outbursts, though rarely. The girls, on the other hand, had tempers Ben constantly contended with on the daily.

“I would have switched places with her if I could,” Ben said simply. “I can’t…I can’t do this whole thing—this _life_ thing without her.” He licked his lips, wiping a hand down his face. “Your mother was better than me. A better person, a better parent, a better child—I’m pretty sure Nana Leia loved her more than she could ever love me.” He shook his head, rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses. “You all would have better off it was me gone, than her.”

“ _No_.”

Ben cracked an eye open. Max stared at him straight on, sitting to his full height.

“No, you’re wrong.” His son’s jaw twitched, his hand gripping the armrest for dear life. “I thought you’d understand…Mom was the one who couldn’t live without you.”

Ben narrowed his eyes on Max. “I don’t—”

“She had no where to go until you and Poe let her move in,” Max said slowly. “No one really cared for her until you, Uncle Poe, and Uncle Finn. She was barely making ends meet until you asked her to be Thea’s babysitter. She didn’t have a family to celebrate holidays with until you dragged her along to Nana and Grandpa’s for Christmas and Easter.”

A tired huff left Ben’s lips. “Yeah because she was my best friend. I always cared her—"

“And if it wasn’t for you, I might not have been born.”

Ben frowned. “Max—”

“She told me how if it weren’t for you pushing her to take care of herself, she probably would have miscarried me.” The young man swallowed, hands twisting together. “She always told me you were the person in her corner, the one she could always go to. _Her_ best friend.”

 

 

_“Just hear me out,” he asked, taking a seat next to her on the sofa. He stared at her straight on, a stern lock in his jaw while his eyes continued to latch on to her with unbridled concern. “As your best friend—”_

_“Which is currently out for debate—”_

_He ignored her comment, accustom to the deflecting technique. She often did that, claim their friendship was out for the verdict when in actuality he was the person she was closest to. Undoubtedly, Ben could say the same about her._

_“As your best friend, I care about you, Rey and I care about the baby, and I want both of you to be okay.”_

 

_“We didn’t start a romantic relationship until a few months ago,” Rey corrected lightly, “But we had been friends for nearly two decades—best friends.”_

_“Sixteen years,” Ben said tiredly, scratching absentmindedly at his jaw. “We were friends for sixteen years.”_

 

_More snot and tears pooled out of her, she breaking down the moment she stepped into Ben’s office on the university campus. Wiping away her mess, her mascara smeared and face blotchy, she stared at him pleadingly._

_“I need my best friend to tell me what the hell I am supposed to do,” she stated through her constricting throat as more tears begged to be set free. “Because I am freaking out.”_

 

_“I don’t want to live my life without you in it,” he admitted, staring straight ahead. He couldn’t look at her, if he looked at her it’d be over. It’d be true, and he’d have to start facing a reality he didn’t want to welcome. “I don’t even remember what that is like,” he said, his breath stuttering. “You’re my best friend, you are my wife, you are the mother of my children—”_

 

_“And it’s frightening because everything is the same, but different,” Rey found herself chiming in, her voice cracking at the weight of her words. She stepped closer to the table, her little family watching her with bubbling curiosity. “And you make stupid decisions, like ignore someone who is your best friend and your person through everything because you’re afraid they will break your heart when you know—logically and deep down—they never would because they already held your heart with care for years.”_

 

_“Do you think I am moody brat?” he found himself asking quietly. He played with the little beads resting around his beanbag, too afraid to look at her._

_“No—I think you got a shit ton of issues—like a fucking moving box of issues,” she snorted, “And that’s what makes you moody, but I don’t think you are a brat.” She dropped her hands on her stomach, intertwining her fingers playfully. “I don’t know what shit went down between you and your family, and I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. And I kind of still do, but also…” she pursed her lips, looking away from him, “if you need someone on your side, you always have me.” She paused, a lighter chuckle escaping her. “Even if I might be fucking shit at it.”_

 

“Dad, you might not have forever with her…but you two were together for her forever…and I don’t think she ever took that for granted.”

Ben blinked, feeling fresh tears fall down his face. “ _Her ‘forever’_?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah.” His son’s hand rested on his shoulder. Firm and there.

“It’s a…it’s a nice perspective.” Ben wiped his face with his sleeve. “Where’d you learn that from?”

Max smiled, his hazel eyes shining like Rey’s use to when she found quiet joys. “Mom. I learned it from Mom.”

Ben felt his heart lift than sink at the revelation.

 

* * *

 

“I told you I am fine,” Thea hissed at Ben as he added another blanket on top of her every growing pile. “I don’t need you waiting on me hand and foot.”

Shaking his head, Ben lifted the pillow behind her and fluffed it.

“I promised Eugene I’d look after you until he came back, and I am doing just that,” Ben argued as he tucked her back into bed.

“First I get wheeled out of the hospital—”

Ben rolled his eyes; she’d been complaining non-stop about the incident. “It is mandated—”

“And now I have you acting like I am going to collapse at any moment,” she shoved a blanket away, “I said I’m fine.”

Holding his hands up in surrender, Ben took a seat on the other side of the bed. “Alright, alright—I hear you. No more blankets.”

“Thanks,” she muttered. She glanced over at him, eyes wide. “Why are you still here? Don’t you have a study to wallow in?”

Ben ignored the sting of her words, merely picking up the book he brought with him— _Jane Eyre_. It was Rey’s copy. “No, I am sitting here with you.”

She frowned, brows furrowing together. “Dad, I don’t want you here if you don’t want to be here.”

“I want to be here,” he said earnestly, resting a hand over hers. “And I want to read to you, like we use to.”

“You haven’t read to me since I was twelve,” she said quietly, a hand resting over her small bump, “And it was _Harry Potter_.”

“ _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_ ,” Ben recalled, playing with the fraying binding of the book in his hand. “We read all the books together. From beginning to end.”

“I remember Mom read to me once,” she started softly, “You were away on some trip—it was before Max was born—and she tried to pick up where you left off in the third book, and it was _awful_ ,” she said with a watery chuckle. “The voices were all wrong and she tried to imitate how’d you do it. I asked her afterwards to never read it to me again, that only you could do it. Luckily, she agreed with me.”

Ben wanted to smile at the memory, feeling the love in his daughter’s words. But he simply couldn’t—but he hoped one day he could.

“Thea,” Ben started, squeezing her hand in his, “I’m sorry.”

“Dad—”

“I’m sorry, for _everything_ ,” he said, throat tightening as he tried to speak without crying. “For closing myself off, for yelling, for not being there when you guys needed me. I’m _so_ sorry,” he stressed, lifting her hand and pressing a firm kiss on her knuckles. “I can’t imagine what it is like for you, to be going through all this while pregnant and not having your mom around to be here. She’d be able to tell you the horror and jokes about bedrest, make you smile through the pain.” He shook his head. “I can’t provide that…but I can be here. I _can_ be your Dad.”

Thea’s matching brown eyes watered, her nose brightening from her sniffles. “That’s all I want.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her free hand. “And I’m sorry for yelling too, and for saying those things. I don’t know what it’s like to be you, loosing Mom the way you did. It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not,” Ben agreed, “but I can’t think like that all the time. I’m shit person when I get moody and depressed. I can’t be like that for you guys.”

Thea nodded, no longer wanting to touch on the subject.

“What’cha going to read?”

“ _Jane Eyre_.”

“Perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you go back and check, Rey calls Ben her best friend/person the most. She is the one running to him when she is lost, she is the one who constantly relies on him even when it is not obvious. All the italics are lines from previous chapters in the fic.
> 
> Max is an unsung hero--I told you guys I had plans for him :)
> 
> I have no plans to show Rey dying, that's why we get the aftermath. I don't think we need to see it because she is resolute on many things concerning her death as we hear about in this chapter.
> 
> I will also comfort you guys in the comments if need be, I understand this one was a tough one and I hope it is okay.
> 
> Just an FYI, there are still more chapters to come in this universe. We still need to see what happened to Thea when she went away to college, there is a Rey and Ben storyline I have partially done, Cassian and Jyn still need to meet, and Max needs to meet Julia! However, I DO have the last chapter for this large fic written. It is bittersweet and satisfying and I consider it the perfect end to this universe. Just got like fifteen more chapter to go XD.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers.


	38. Father's Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So not an entirely fluffy chapter (we'll get it next time), but a little something before Father's Day ends.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> enjoy!

During his first year of fatherhood, Ben forgot about Father’s Day.

His baby girl, Thea, was only a month old. Sleepless nights, mixing baby formula, and changing diapers were his life and nothing else.

He hadn’t realized he missed the holiday until his mother and father came barreling into his apartment on the Sunday morning, determined to drag him and Thea out for brunch.

Numbly he let his mother take Thea and his dad helped him get decent to go out in public. No one said anything when he fell asleep while waiting for his food. Instead his breakfast sandwich was packed up to-go and his parents ate quietly as Thea slept in her carrier.

.

.

.

Ben never counted this Father’s Day in the scheme of his life mostly because he didn’t truly remember the day, only recalling the events his mother accounted from memory.

 

* * *

 

His forth Father’s Day might have been the most memorable of Thea’s early years.

She and Rey had deep dived into arts and crafts time, the two always coloring and doodling together whenever Ben came back from work. While he wasn’t fond of the glitter finding its way into all crevasses of the apartment, he liked hanging up Thea’s drawings around the living room and his office. Always silly little drawings of dogs and other familiar animals, sometimes a wobbly indiscernible doodle of a dragon, but that was the extent of her abilities. He didn’t expect anything more from her, not the type of kid to doddle little stick figures of their family of two—or five if he wanted to be generous and include extended family in the total.

That is until Thea woke him up early— _five in the morning early_ —on Father’s Day. She sat on his chest, her little hands honking his nose and poking the bags under his eyes.

“ _Daddy_ ,” she whispered loudly, patting his face. “ _Daddy wake up_.”

Ben woke up with a snort, attempting to breathe, as his daughter had unintentionally been suffocating him in her efforts to wake him up. “Thea...” he mumbled, catching her before she tumbled off the bed. “What’s wrong? What happened?” he asked, voice groggy.

“Happy Father’s Day!” she screeched, Ben shrinking back from his daughter.

A piece of craft paper was then shoved clumsily in his face.

Blinking, Ben squinted at the blurry drawing in front of him. He reached for his glasses, Thea helping him set the frames on his face. She left a tiny finger print mark on edge, Ben accustom to the occasional smudge caused by his daughter’s good intentions.

Sleep faded into the back of his mind as Ben realized what was before him.

A drawing of him and Thea, holding hands and at a park. She made him freakishly tall in her drawing, looking like a giant beside the tiny figure representing her. Then again, that’s how Ben probably appeared to her; her freakishly tall giant of a father. On the bottom on the page, in neat block letters ‘Happy Father’s Day’ was written. It took a moment, but Ben recognized it as Rey’s handwriting, she helping her favorite child out with spelling.

“I made a picture of us,” Thea explained, her voice quieter. “Do you like it?”

“Oh sweetheart, I love it,” Ben said, his voice cracking as a wave of emotions crashed over him. “It’s the best gift I have ever been given.”

“ _Really_?” she exclaimed, surprised yet proud of her accomplishment.

“Yes, really,” Ben assured her. Carefully, he picked her up off his chest and set her down in the open space beside him. “I’m going to put it in a frame and have it right there,” he pointed to the nightstand where his alarm clock sat, “so I can see it every day.”

His three year old beamed at him.

.

.

.

And Ben kept the drawing framed in his room— even after he and Rey married. After Thea had grown and left for college. And even after his daughter had married and had a child of her own. He kept the drawing there in his room until the end.

 

* * *

 

His eleventh Father’s Day was the beginning of what would become the normal for the majority of his thirties and forties.

On his eleventh Father’s Day Ben received _two_ Father’s Day cards.

One from Thea.

And one from Max.

“He picked the card and everything,” Rey told him quietly as they watched the kids run around his parent’s backyard. From the porch swing, Rey and Ben were a considerable distance away from the kids for them to eavesdrop on their conversation, but close enough to intervene if any accidents occurred.

Over by the grill, Han sang off key to an oldies station blasting through his radio. Always keeping busy, Leia meandered in and out of the house, setting the patio table or arguing with Han over how long the meat truly needed to be cooked.

To any outsider, they looked like an average family gathering for the holiday.

In a way, Ben supposed they were; just not by the conventional means.

“I know you’re not his dad, but you’re the closest thing he has to one,” she continued to explain, playing with the peeling label on her beer. “And I think it’s important he learns early on to respect the role you have in his life.”

Ben hummed in thought, pushing his sunglasses over his head. The sun was beginning to set, the brightness lowering over the fence. “I understand,” he said, “I was just surprised. Never thought Max would want to celebrate this day with good ol’ Uncle Ben.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “You know you are more than _just_ Uncle Ben to him.” She smiled softly, nudging his side playful. “You’re the big adult who understands him better than anyone. And that means the world to him, to _us_.”

.

.

.

Little did Ben know, in less than three years, he’d be more than Uncle Ben. He’d be ‘Dad’ to both Thea and Max, neither batting an eye at the switch.

 

* * *

 

His twenty-sixth Father’s Day was an odd one.

Within one year he lost his father and gained a son.

Well, a _son-in-law_.

Celebrating the holiday felt strange—to stand by the grill, taking over his father’s role. Ben was never great with the grill, but he’d seen his father’s work enough to know the right way to cook and roast. His wife tried to convince him not to try to barbeque, knowing his skills far better than anyone in their house. However Ben ignored her pleas and stood tall in the backyard in defiance.

“Ben,” a voice called out from behind him, “Rey said you needed company?”

Glancing over his shoulder, Ben saw Eugene standing awkwardly a few feet away. While he’d been a permanent fixture in their lives—more so when he and Thea were ‘just friends’—Ben was still getting accustom to the fact his daughter married his favorite student.

Or better yet, he was still attempting to reconcile with the fact his daughter was married overall. Didn’t matter if it was with his favorite student, the one he considered family no matter the context of his relationship with Thea.

At a safe distance, the young man eyed the grill warily.

“Uh, sure,” Ben nodded, gesturing to the empty patio chair near him. “Take a seat.”

Eugene sat down, eyes still watching the grill like a hawk.

Ben cleared his throat. “Do…do you know anything about grilling?”

“No,” Eugene answered, his leg jiggling up and down—a nervous tick, “to be perfectly honest, I think I’d burn the place down if I tried.”

“I feel the same.”

“About me?”

“About myself,” Ben confided, holding a pair of tongs aloft.

“Then why are you grilling?” Eugene asked in earnest. “Neither of us know how to, and I highly doubt Max knows anything…”

Ben blinked down at the simmering coals. He hadn’t set any meat or potatoes on the grill, waiting until it was an adequate temperature.

“My dad would grill on Father’s Day,” he said, feeling his chest constrict for a moment before exhaling. “I thought I could do it…but I don’t think I can.” He shook his head, setting down the tray and tongs in his hand on the patio table. “I have no fucking clue what I am doing—I’m trying to honor his memory by doing what he did…but I’d know he’s make sure I was on the other side of yard before he even fired up the grill because I am jack-shit at this.”

Eugene watched him apprehensively, biting on the inside of his cheek. “Maybe…maybe it’s time to find a new tradition?” he offered quietly. “Maybe that’s why Rey suggested not barbequing, for us to start something new.”

“She told you about it?”

“Everyone sort of heard you two arguing. You guys can get loud,” Eugene said with an apologetic wince.

“Right…”

“You…you do know it doesn’t make you a lesser son or father if you decide to do something different this year?” the young man said, watching Ben with understanding. “I don’t think your dad would want you to struggle with the grill if he knew how terrible you were at it,” he shrugged, “It’s your day too, Ben. You deserve to do what you want to do.”

Closing his eyes, Ben sighed. “Go inside and tell them we’re having a change in plans.”

“What are we going to do?” Eugene asked as he stood up.

“I have no fucking clue, but it’s not this,” Ben answered, feeling an odd mix of relief and regret. As Eugene went to break the news, and probably help figure what they were going to do that afternoon for dinner, Ben came to a startling realization—

He was now the patriarch of his family.

.

.

.

Ben did not like being the ‘patriarch’. He did not like it when eyes turned to him looking for answers, with far more intensity than in the past. No one ever treated his father as such. That was his mother…but a part of her shut down after Han’s death. So he silently filled the role he never wanted, for the sake of his family.

 

* * *

 

His thirty-sixth Father’s Day was quiet.

His kids spent that day with him.

He caught up on movies, Jane and Thea arguing over where they recognized certain actors before resorting to Google as their mediator.

Max came in the afternoon with the twins, he and Julia struggling to keep the four year olds in check as they ran havoc in the house.

Eugene spent the day with his infant tucked in his arms, sitting in the arm chair, wanting nothing more than to be with her.

His mother gave him a kiss on the check and a simple card. She went to the cemetery for a couple of hours, coming back in time for dinner.

.

.

.

Ben only remembered this one because it was the first without Rey.

 

* * *

 

His forty-second Father’s Day was simple. Lighter than it had been in years.

His kids came over, as they had been doing for the last six years. Soccer was played outside, his adult children arguing over teams while Ben and little Rachel worked as the referees and the twins kept score.

He received a record number of cards that year, and multiple copies of the same book he’d been mentioning of getting the last few weeks. Apparently, no one communicated on possible duplicate gifts. Ben didn’t mind, claiming he now had one for his office and one for the house.

Little Rachel followed him around like a lost puppy, giving him several drawings through out the day, Silly scribbles and doodles, some he couldn’t quite comprehend but took with a large smile.

However her last drawing made him pause.

“Rachel, who did you draw standing next to me?” A smaller, though not by much, figure stood next to the freakishly tall stick figure (like mother, like daughter he could not help but think). Brown scribbles for hair and white shirt set this character out amongst the rest of the family portrait she made for him.

“Nana Rey,” Rachel explained bright eyed. “Mama always talks about her, says you love her very much.”

“I do.”

“And that Nana Rey loves me very much too,” she said simply, not noticing the watering of his eyes. “Since I love her and she loves me, and you love her, she should be in in picture.”

Ben blinked, wiping the tears before they could fall any further. “You’re absolutely right, Rachel.”

She smiled back, Ben feeling… _okay_. A first in a while.

.

.

.

He had two family portraits, thirty-eight years apart, sitting framed in his room that night.

 

* * *

 

His favorite Father’s Day was the twentieth.

“But I wanna make pancakes!” Jane’s whine could be heard throughout the house. On the stairs, Ben halted, hearing the scuffle and clatter of dishes in the kitchen.

“Shut up, Jane!” Thea hissed, “You’re too little.”

“Thea, don’t talk to your sister like that,” Rey scolded tiredly, possibly not the first time that morning she attempted to prevent the girls from arguing. “Max, what are you doing? Getting down from the counter!”

“I’m getting cereal,” he answered, his tone indicating he did not see the problem.

Thea huffed. “We are making Dad a homemade breakfast—”

“He’s gonna want cereal,” Max argued, “He’s not going to want to eat…whatever that gross stuff is.”

“It’s pancake batter,” Rey told him, exasperated.

“It doesn’t look like pancake batter,” he replied bluntly.

Thea groaned. “Come on, let’s just hurry before—”

Ben entered the kitchen, finally seeing the chaos he’d anticipated since he heard Jane’s outcries.

His entire family stood in the kitchen, still dressed in pajamas, like a deer caught in headlights. Cracked eggs sat unused on the counter, along with a bowl of odd mush—the pancake mix—and measuring cups spread out on the counter, each dirtied in some way. Potatoes sat partially peeled, though it looked like someone gave up halfway through. Behind them, a pan sat sizzling on the stove, yet no one manned it.

“What’s going on?” he asked, cautiously stepping into the room.

His eldest dropped the wooden spoon on to the counter. “Looks like the jig is up—we have officially failed.”

“We were making you a Father Day’s breakfast,” Rey explained, pulling a grumpy Jane up on to her hip. His four year old curled into Rey, sucking on her thumb as she stared nervously at him.

“But I told them you’d want cereal instead,” Max interjected, “no one listened to me.”

Sucking in air, Ben smiled, reaching over and ruffling Max’s hair. “You guys should have listened to this kid. I would have been just fine with cereal.”

“Ugh,” Thea picked up all the dishes sitting around, “I guess I’ll clean this up.”

“Not that I don’t appreciate what you were doing,” he was quick to assure, “but I also know all of your cooking abilities. And I _maybe_ trust Jane the most to not burn the house down.”

Thea accepted his words, though not without mumbling and grumbling. She and Max went about cleaning the kitchen, Rey handing off Jane to Ben to aid them.

Wrapping her tiny arms around his neck, Jane pressed a loud kiss on his chin. “Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!” she said with a giggle, holding him close.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he murmured, petting away her curls from her face.

“Happy Father’s Day, Dad,” Thea then shouted over the running kitchen sink, still in her mood.

“Yeah, Happy Father’s Day!” Max called back cheerfully, already pulling out their collection of cereals from the cabinet.

Warm arms wrapped around his other side, a pair of soft and familiar lips pressing a kiss to his left cheek. “Happy Father’s Day,” Rey mumbled, pulling away with a grin. “You’re a pretty decent dad, Ben Solo,” she teased.

“It’s a tough job, but try,” he stated dramatically, ridiculous enough to rival Thea.

The entire family groaned, unamused by his theatrics. A dish towel or two were thrown his way, smacking him on the chest. Jane shrieked into giggles, wiggling out of his arms and back to the floor. She rushed to join her siblings, standing on her tip-toes to see what Thea and Max were doing, ready to help.

“Anything specific you want to do?” Rey asked.

Ben shook his head, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“I just want to spend the day with you and the kids.”

That’s all he ever wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awe, BEN. You are a sap. 
> 
> That's all I am going to say.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	39. June 2007

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is some cute toddler Thea, along with some family feels!
> 
> Typos will be fixed later! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey learned early on strangers would always assume Thea was her daughter.

It was natural.

People see a young woman carrying a toddler through the store, a toddler with a similar complexion and dark hair, it was natural to assume the child with her was her own.

While out and about, whether that be completing errands or going on little outings to the park, Rey simply accepted the ‘coos’ and ‘awes’ at the sight of her and Thea together. She’d mostly get showered with complements about how adorable her toddler was and how quickly Rey got the post-partum weight off. On the latter, Rey tried her very best to not retaliate at such comments.

When it was just her and Thea, Rey brushed the compliments and comments off, playing the part of polite stranger. She’d agree and smile, and then mutter under her breath to Thea about how ridiculous social and gender constructs about women could be in this contemporary age.

Thea would giggle, but never say a word.

Even at two, the kid understood there was a secret pact between Thea and ‘Wrey’.

The bond between Auntie and child could not be broken, and they wouldn’t mention to Ben the little wildness they got into. Like Rey giving Thea ice cream, or letting her play with the neighbor’s cats and dogs in the park. Or the worst offense—staying up past bedtime for one more story.

So other people thinking Thea was Rey’s daughter just went into the pile of things they wouldn’t tell Ben. Not to mention it was easier to just say, ‘This is Thea, my daughter’ than ‘This is Thea, my best friend’s daughter who I babysit.’ It didn’t roll off the tongue as well.

And it worked.

It worked _well_.

It worked well enough that the other moms in Thea’s playdate group thought it to be true.

Being Thea’s ‘Mom’ wasn’t too bad; everyone _loved_ Thea and by default Rey because Thea _adored_ Rey. So maybe she stretched her woes to the other moms, claiming to be a mother while finishing school and the baby’s father working all the time. Which the latter wasn’t a lie—Ben did work and study _all the time_ …though not to the point of neglecting Thea. _Never_.

And it wasn’t as though these other moms would find out the little white lie…

That was until someone from the dreaded playdate group Thea and Rey attended on Wednesday afternoons noticed them all _three_ out together at the movie theater.

Since Thea was three and proved herself more than capable in sitting through a movie, Ben decided she was ready to go to the movie theatre for the first time. Also Ben and Rey really wanted to see _Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix,_ no longer able to catch the midnight premiers of the last couple of films in the franchise. If Thea could sit through _Chamber of Secrets_ and _Goblet of Fire_ without problem at home, then she should have been fine.

“Rey, Thea!” Allie, one of the head moms of the group called out, walking briskly over to them with a large grin. Her child, Liam, was perched on her hip with her older son and husband trailing behind.

Eyes widening, Rey ducked her head down, hiding partially behind Ben. She felt Thea patting her head, squirming out of Ben’s arms towards Rey.

Meanwhile, Ben frowned, eyes darting between his best friend and the woman ambling over to them.

“Rey!” Allie greeted, the woman completely oblivious to the flash of terror in Rey’s eyes. “So funny to run into you here!”

Peaking from behind Ben, Rey shined a bright, fake, smile at the woman. “Allie, nice to see you!”

Ben could not hide his astonishment at the perkiness coming from Rey’s mouth.

The woman cooed at Thea. “Hi honey, are you being good for mommy and daddy at the movies?” she asked teasingly.

Thea blinked back, unamused.

Allie laughed at this. “One day I will make you giggle Miss Thea Solo.” Her eyes then landed on Ben, “Oh, she has a little smudge on her head—” The woman already licked her thumb ready to wipe it off.

“It’s a lightening bolt,” Ben stated, shifting away from the woman before she could reach his daughter with her germ-infested thumb. “She’s Baby Harry Potter.”

“Harry what?” Allie blinked at the two.

Rey’s forced smiled was becoming difficult to keep up. “It’s a book series—”

“It’s one of the greatest things to ever grace this Earth,” Ben said sternly, ignoring how Thea pulled on his ears. She always played with his ears, this was nothing new. “That’s what we are dressed like this,” Ben said, gesturing to himself and Rey. The two were dressed in their respective house robes; Slytherin for Rey and Ravenclaw for Ben.

Allie however remained befuddled by their attire.

As though bored of the conversation, Liam cried in his mother’s arms, his chubby face scrunching bright red.

Allie didn’t seemed phased by this outburst, merely swatting her poking son’s hand away whenever he was bothersome. “You must be Rey’s husband, Ben.”

“ _Husband_?” Ben muttered, at a complete loss.

“Yeah, Ben—my husband,” Rey said through gritted teeth, “finally got him out of the house.”

“Oh, I understand that problem,” Allie nodded over to her own husband. “Took enough to get this guy out.” She chuckled, clearly standing with them, intending for a longer chat.

“While we’ve loved chatting, we have a movie to catch,” Rey said in a blunder, pushing Ben ahead as she waved goodbye to the woman none the wiser.

Once they turned the corner, Rey stopped pushing Ben. “Thank god we got away,” she said, sagging with relief.

Switching Thea to his other arm, Ben peered down at with the utmost confusion. “Who was that, and why did she say I was your husband and _how_ does she know Thea?”

“Whoa, slow down,” she begged, rubbing her forehead. She paused—Thea was pulling on Ben’s Ravenclaw tie, twisting and tucking as though it were her new toy. Huffing, Rey preyed Thea’s hands off it. “Don’t choke your dad, Thea,” she muttered, finally getting the tie loose from Thea’s grip.

“Rey,” Ben implored, staring down at her. “Seriously, who was that? I’ve _never_ seen you act like that.”

She groaned dropping her face into her hands. “You know that play-date group Thea goes to?”

“Yeah…”

“I maybe lied and told them Thea was my daughter?” she admitted with a squeak. “It was honestly an accident—they kind of made the assumption on their own, thinking ‘oh, she must be a young mom.’ I just never contradicted it.”

“Oh,” Ben uttered. “That’s it?”

“Yeah…” Rey peeked from behind her hands. “You’re not upset are you?”

“No…” Ben said slowly, Thea pulling on his tie again. “I was just confused. I mean…I don’t care if you say Thea is your daughter—I just don’t want to be out of the loop or feel like an idiot,” he confessed. “Especially when someone is acting so familiar with her.”

“Ugh,” Rey rolled her eyes, “Allie is just like that with everyone’s kids. She acts like they are the best thing since slice bread—Thea hates her.”

At the mention of her name, the toddler dropped the tie and grinned at the two. Fake coke-bottle glasses sat on her face and her short curls bounced around her face. The little lightning scar Ben drew on her forehead with a washable marker was still intact, peeking between her curls.

“She almost wiped away Thea’s lightning mark,” Ben muttered.

“Well good thing she didn’t,” Rey assured him. “We can’t see _Harry Potter_ without our Harry Potter.”

Thea giggled before suddenly frowning at Rey and Ben, “Pop-pop?”

“Right _popcorn_ ,” Rey said, “You get the seats, I’ll get the snacks,” she declared, Ben agreeing with a nod.

As the two went off in separated directions, another woman walking by smiled at her direction. “That’s adorable your family decided to dress up for the movie,” she compliment before continuing on her way.

Watching the woman go, Rey shook her head. Thea would always be mistaken for her daughter and Ben her husband. And she was fine with that despite all the implications…because it meant, at least to others, they were a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Rey and Ben tease Thea about her Harry Potter outfit forever--especially when she decides to dress as Harry Potter when she is elementary school, several years in a row XD
> 
> So as some of you probably know via twitter, I have decided the fic will end with 50 chapters. Which is only 11 chapter left after this. It was a tough decision but one I have been thinking about for some time. While I love the characters, it is time for this segment of the story to end. Hard to believe but we have been through nearly everything with these characters, which still stuns me. And while I have some ideas, I want to leave ten chapters (as the last chapter is written) for prompts surrounding this universe! This little family is as much of mine as it is yours, and these last few chapters should be a fun swan song to a lovely universe!
> 
> Please drop your prompts/suggestions in the comments!
> 
> Thanks!


	40. March 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because everyone wanted answers, here is the conclusion to the adoption storyline.
> 
> WARNING: An anxiety attack occurs in this chapter.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

“He…he is an odd one,” was the first thing Revan said as he observed Max from a distance.

Rey bristled at the comment.

Neither Rey or Ben wanted to introduce Max to Revan, especially not as his biological father. Max did not need that confusion in his life, considering how he referred to Ben as his father and did not know any other man to hold the title for him. Begrudgingly, they agreed to a supervised ‘meeting’ under the pretenses Revan was a friend of Mom and Dad’s who wanted to catch up.

Unaware of their watchful gazes, Max played in the living room while Rey and Revan sat at the kitchen counter.

“Does he always talk to himself like that?” Revan asked.

Rey chewed hard on the inside of her cheek. Was this man _seriously_ questioning her son’s mannerisms? He did not have the room nor place to do so. However, she needed his signature

“Yes.” She idly stirred her coffee adding more sugar than necessary. “He does. Hyperactive imagination, all his energy needs to go somewhere.”

Revan’s face darkened, watching as Max obsessively ordered his puzzle pieces before setting out to put the picture together. “Have you ever sent him to a child physiologist—”

“He’s on the spectrum,” Rey interjected sharply.

Revan did not react, simply staring at Max with apprehension—a little human with some of his features, apparently related to him by blood, half his DNA, yet he was completely _unlike_ him.

“Autism?” he said, quirking an eyebrow. “Can’t you get that squared away with therapy?”

“He’s been to therapy—he is _in_ behavioral therapy,” Rey countered tersely. “And it is not something that goes away—”

“Plenty of children outgrow it.”

“He doesn’t need to outgrow anything.” She could not believe the words coming out of his mouth; Revan made Max’s disorder sound as though it were something to be fixed and pushed away. He viewed her son as _broken_.

And goddamn it, she was not going to stand for it.

“You’ve seen him, you know he exists and he is living well,” she picked up the pen and papers, “Just sign and be on your way.”

He eyed the pen carefully, not moving to grab it. “I have to think about this.” His focus landed on Max, mouth downturned. “I never wanted kids…but seeing him—”

“You don’t get to do that,” Rey said, not caring how callous she sounded. This was her son they were talking about, not some pet or piece of furniture. “You don’t get to make this into a second chance for you; there never was _any_ chances. He has a father, a wonderful man who has always been there for him.”

Revan shook his head, his face crumpling in disdain. “I just can’t make this decision without more time or thought.” He stood up, dusting off invisible lint from his jacket. “But I will come to a decision and I will let you know soon.”

Gritting her teeth, Rey led him out of the house.

She could be patient…if she damn well knew the outcome. However, this situation she did not know the end, and it bothered her relentlessly.

 

* * *

 

“This is new,” Thea motioned between her father and Jyn. “Didn’t know you two could even sit next to each other, let alone have lunch together.” She picked at her salad, spearing a crouton. “So what brings us all together? It’s nobodies birthday and the holidays are a ways away…”

Ben cleared his throat, glancing at Jyn. She did not look his way, merely smiling politely at Thea.

She wasn’t happy and for once it wasn’t about herself. It was for Thea.

Neither were fond of what they had to bring up to Thea, and Rey…well Rey opted out of attending lunch with them. She knew what they would ask and understood the decision, pressing for them to do what was best for Thea’s future. Even if it broke her heart in the process. Nevertheless, Ben wanted to know what his opinioned daughter thought because in the end he wanted Thea to be _happy_. That’s all he ever wanted for her.

“Um, as you probably know… Rey wants to adopt you,” Thea beamed at the mention of the plans—they tried their best to keep it from her, but their eldest was snooping and too clever for her own good, cornering them about the papers. Naturally, Ben crumbled under the pressure of his daughter’s puppy eyes. “But there are some complications and it is no one’s fault—”

“What kind of complications?” Thea asked, her eyes darting between her biological parents. “Doesn’t Jyn just need to sign off?” Her eyes hardened as steel at Jyn. “Why won’t you sign?”

“Thea,” Ben interjected, reprimanding, “Jyn would sign knowing how much this means to you but—”

“But I also want you to have a secure future in whatever you decide to do,” Jyn interrupted, taking the reins in the conversation. “And that means, not signing. After me, you are the last Erso. I can’t let that all go.”

“Does that mean Rey can’t be my mom…?”

“Just not legally,” Ben answered apologetically, “ _yet_ ,” he added for good measure. “We talked to both our legal consultants.”

“Once you are an adult and all of the Erso assets have been transferred over, you can go through the adult adoption process,” Jyn explained.

Thea’s face fell, eyes downcast.

“I know it is not ideal, Thea,” Ben said reaching for his daughter’s hand, “But it’s just us thinking about the future—we don’t know what can happen in a couple of years, let alone a decade or two.”

His daughter’s eyes darken, she snatching her hand away. “ _Whatever_ ,” she mumbled, looking at neither of them. “Can we get the food to go? I’m not feeling well.”

Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek, nodding in agreement.

His daughter wouldn’t look at him the rest of the day.

\--

“Thea hates me,” Ben announced in bed that night. “She….she _truly_ hates me right now.”

Propping her chin on his chest, Rey looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed. “She could never hate you,” she mumbled, pressing a kiss to his neck. Pulling away, she brushed his hair out of his eyes. “She’s just upset. I think it’s natural for her to be upset. I mean…” she drew small circles with her finger along his clavicle, “… _I’m_ upset. But I also know a piece of paper doesn’t change how I feel about her. And it’s just reminding myself that.”

“You were the one who suggested we do this,” Ben said exasperatedly, though not directed at her. “I didn’t think it would be this difficult.”

“I know what you mean,” Rey sighed, chewing on her lower lip. “I thought I’d get paper’s signed and be done with it. But now he wants to get to know Max and…” she shook her head, loose hair falling around her face, “…he doesn’t _get_ him. He wants to ‘fix’ Max, like he is broken,” her voice was caught in her throat, she ducking her head deeper into his chest.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Ben hushed, tucking her hair behind her ear, “he’s _not_ broken.”

“I know,” she grumbled, wiping away rogue tears with the meat of her hand. “I just hate the way he spoke of him, looked at him…like he was an alien or something. He’s _not_ ,” she declared heatedly, “he’s just a little boy who thinks a little differently and there is nothing wrong with that.”

“I know,” Ben mumbled, holding her close, “and maybe we can use how he reacts to Max as a benefit. You know let him…actually try to be around Max in a close proximity instead of just watching him from a distance.”

“I suppose,” she muttered. “I don’t want to lose my son, Ben.”

“You won’t,” he assured her, “I promise you—you won’t lose, Max.”

 

* * *

 

“Excuse me, who are you?” Thea not so politely announced when she came home from school. She raced to the front door, ignoring her father’s calls about not running. Only to find a man she’s never seen before

The man before her—tall, imposing, unnecessarily moody—narrowed his dark eyes on her.

“I’m Dr. Revan,” he answered, “A friend of Rey’s—”

“Rey doesn’t have friends,” Thea declared, arms crossed stubbornly over her chest. “Where is Rey anyway?”

“She’s—”

The front door opened, revealing the woman in question.

“Thea,” Rey said looking down at her, not bothering to greet the man, “You’re home—where’s your dad and Max?”

“Coming,” she answered smartly before turning back to the man standing awkwardly by their door, “Why is he here?”

The man forced a smile; Thea sneered at the sight. “Like I said I’m—”

“Mom!” Max cried out happily, running past everyone into his mother’s arms. Rey caught him, her concerned expression melting away.

Max’s floppy hair flipped to the right side and then—

Thea _saw_ it.

Max and this Revan-Guy had the same hair and nose, a tiny birthmark above the left eyebrow. Thea wasn’t an idiot and it took her less than a moment to connect the dots.

“Wait are you Max’s—”

A large hand—her Dad’s hand—cupped over her mouth. All sound was muffled, Thea frowning darkly at her dad standing above her.

“ _Thea_ , let’s go inside, sweetheart,” he ordered sternly yet kindly, as all eyes were focused on them. “You have homework to work on.” He removed his hand, his other firmly resting on her left shoulder. “Come on.” He ushered her into the house with little budge on his ruling. Petulantly, Thea looked back at Rey as she let the Revan-Guy inside, Max gripped tightly to her hip.

Her dad walked with her all the way back to her room, shutting the door behind them.

“Now, Thea—”

“Is that guy Max’s dad?” she asked, wasting no time. She dropped her backpack to the side.

When her dad didn’t answer, Thea felt her heart in her ears.

Her dad wiped his face, a tired groan sighing out of him. Taking a seat at the edge of her bed, he motioned of her to join him.

Stubbornly, she refused, keeping her eyes locked on him.

Pressing his lips together, he silently nodded. “Yeah… he is.”

“Is he going to take him away?” Even asking the question, Thea felt the air knocked out her. “Dad, he can’t take Max away. Max is ours—Max _belongs_ in our family—”

“Whoa, whoa,” Ben hushed, reaching over and pulling her closer to him. Holding her wrists in his hands, he met her gaze. “Thea, _you need to breathe_. You’re talking a thousand miles a minute, I can barely understand what you are saying.”

She released a shaky exhale, her chest pounding and a fresh sprout of tears coming from her eyes. She was shaking, but she mostly felt numb.

Her father blinked at her, floundering for a moment, before having her sit next to him. “Hey…he’s not going to take Max away. Rey and I are trying to make sure Max stays with us,” he assured her, wrapping her nice fluffy throw blanket around her. “He’s going to stay with us, you’re not going to lose him okay?”

Thea nodded, holding the blanket close. She watched as her dad reached for her laptop.

“Why don’t you watch some videos of kittens—”

“I like kittens.”

“I know you like kittens,” he said placentally. He found a playlist of kitten videos and handed the laptop off to her. “Here. Watch some, and I’ll be back in a little bit.”

As he stood up, Thea caught his arm, looking up at him with big, concerned eyes. “Dad, he’s my brother,” she said, hoping it meant enough.

“I know sweetheart, I know.”

\--

“Have you tried putting him in a special needs class—”

“He is advanced in academics and he is mainstream in classes, he doesn’t need to be separated from other kids. That will alienate him more,” Rey argued, her voice low.

The two stood in the kitchen area, while Max worked on his homework in the living room. Rey could see him clearly from her vantage point, though knew he wouldn’t need help with his homework. He usually finished within thirty minutes, handing over his work for Rey or Ben to look over when done.

Revan’s jaw tensed. “He’s alienated?”

“Do you _not_ know how children function?” she asked snippily. “Any kid who is slightly different, even if they like to fucking eat glue, are alienated. Kids are cruel sometimes.”

From the moment they stepped into the house, Revan cornered her into questions about Max’s progress and development. The plan was for him to sit with Max, talk with him and realize maybe the parent thing wasn’t for him and sign the papers. However, Revan all but avoid the suggestion each time Rey hinted at it, opting to spring more ‘concerns’ about Max’s condition.

Rey was prepared to snap at Revan and remove him from her home, consequences be damned, when Ben came back from upstairs. He shot a glanced at Rey; she pleaded for him to not interrupt with her eyes, hoping he understood she could handle this on her own. Listening to her, Ben gave a polite smile before deciding to head over to where Max sat in the living room.

“Hey Buddy,” Ben greeted the boy, taking a seat next to him. “How was your day? You didn’t talk much in the car.”

The boy hummed, chin propped in his palm. “I started a book,” he said slowly, working on a writing question. “ _Chronicles of Narnia_.”

“Oh, that’s a great book,” Ben said, “did you get it from the library?”

“Yup.”

“Did you bring it here to read?”

“Yup.”

Max dropped his pencil and reached into his backpack, pulling out his book. Carefully he climbed on to the couch, squeezing himself between a cushion and Ben’s lap.

The boy pointed to the book, handing it to Ben. “Read,” he said simply. “Please,” he tacked on a second later.

“Sure,” Ben flipped to the bookmarked page and cleared his throat.

“You weren’t kidding when you said he has a father.”

Rey’s head whipped to Revan, who stood stock-still, observing the moment between Max and Ben as she did.

“He does,” Rey insisted, “He’s been here through it all. It be unfair to us—me, Ben, Thea and Max to change that. It’s been the four of us for a long time, and I can’t let you change our lives like that…because it would affect us all.”

“I’d still feel guilty,” Revan muttered, unable to turn away from the father and son before him.

“I can’t help with you feeling guilty, especially when you have nothing to feel guilty about,” Rey said, bracing herself against the kitchen countered, keeping her voice even. “I was the one who choose to keep you out—you didn’t know about him until a few days ago. If he gets curious…I can send him your way,” Rey relented, hoping her offer was a happy medium. “If you sign the papers, I will let him know—when the time is right—that you exist and you’d like to somewhat know him.”

Revan contemplated the offer, his mouth in a thin line.

“But it will be his decision,” Rey reminded him, “I will not force him to comprehend this before he is ready, and…if he never wants to acknowledge it, that will be his choice and one he’d have to live with.”

“And you don’t want child support?”

Rey hoped she make a face, but she could not be sure. “ _No_. I don’t want it.”

“I’ll sign the papers.”

 

* * *

 

“Knock, knock,” Ben announced, nudging open Thea’s bedroom door.

Behind him, Rey rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Thea, are you awake?”

Before the girl could answer, Max came barreling into the room, bumping into Rey and Ben. The boy crawled up on to Thea’s bed, shaking and patting her face to wake her up.

“Thea, Thea, Thea, Thea—”

“Get off me!” the young teenager grumbled, her attempts to push Max away futile.

“Okay Maxie,” Rey declared, grabbing him by the waist. “Little man, you can’t be jumping on people when they sleep,” she scolded lightly, taking a seat beside Thea on the bed. Max wiggled into the space between them, tucking himself under the blanket with Thea.

The girl groaned, but didn’t shove him away this time. She even let him play with her hair, one of his favorite soothing pass times.

“How was your nap?” Ben asked, taking a seat on the other side of Thea.

She shrugged. “It was a nap.” Her eyes darted between Rey and Ben. “Why are you guys in here?”

“We got some news to share,” Rey began, “I know you were not happy about how things went with your mother and signing her rights over—”

“More than just ‘not happy’,” Thea corrected, snuggling deeper into her blankets. “More like…heartbroken.”

Rey smiled sadly, her hand reaching for Thea’s. The girl grasped it back lightly. “I know, your father and I were both upset, but we decided on what would be best.” She and Ben glanced at each other, a silent nod coming from him. “But we have some good news that I think we will all be happy about,” she assured her, “Ben’s going to be Max’s dad—officially.”

Thea blinked at the two, eyes wide. “What?”

“Max is going to be your brother, Thea. For real, in the legal sense,” Ben explained, his own quiet smile emerging.

A huge, gleeful smile came from the girl. “ _Really_?”

Max then launched himself at her, pressing a clumsy kiss to her cheek. She squirmed but held him, joyful giggles escaping her.

“Now you and Rey just need to get married,” Thea announced, sending the two of them an imploring glance. “And then we’ll all be Solo’s and everything will be _perfect_!”

Ben ruffled his daughter’s hair. “I think we were already there kiddo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWE WHAT A CUTE FAMILY!
> 
> NEWS!!!!! So I listened to the outpour of TheaGene love, and I gave them their own spin off fic with dashes of Rey and Ben on the side. It's called 'stuck on you' and it is the next part of this series.
> 
> ALSO...
> 
> I feel like I need to explain myself...especially concerning the major character death that occurred in this fic. When I decided to kill off Rey, it came from me coping with something going on in my own life. Because that's what writing does for me--it allows me to vent, it allows me to explore emotions I might refuse to acknowledge because it hurts and it's painful. My own mother went through an experience similar to Rey's and thankfully, all testing came out clear and she is well. However, when I decided to kill off Rey, it was under the belief my own mother may be dying.
> 
> Now killing off the character. It hurt, but I don’t regret it. I needed a way to cope and express with the fears I was experiencing and ‘it takes a village’ allowed me to do so. 
> 
> However I did think about how Rey's death would effect the story, and I still went with my decision. As you all know now, it wasn't to be cruel and it wasn't for shock value. It was to be honest about a family in a difficult situation.
> 
> Hopefully you all understand. Thanks.


	41. The End...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you probably noticed the chapter title.
> 
> This is the beginning of the end.
> 
> After some time and thought, I decided it is time to leave this fic. Give it the proper ending it deserves. This does not mean we won't see this combination of characters again, we will. Possibly in a oneshot or in the TheaGene fic, but it is now time to start saying goodbye. 
> 
> A reminder--this is the second to last chapter, so I do have something planned after this one.
> 
> WARNING: there is a main character death in this chapter.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!

* * *

 

 

 

**November 2048**

 

A tiny finger poked his face.

And then poked his face again. And again.

And—

“Pop-pop,” a tiny voice called out. “Pop-pop are you awake?” she asked.

Blinking through the dredges of sleep, Ben peeked his eyes open to see his granddaughter standing before him.

“Yes, sunshine?” he mumbled into the pillow.

“Can we make French toast?”

“Of course,” he smiled tiredly. “Just give Pop-pop a moment to get up.”

He glanced at his clock—six in the morning. Leave it to Little Rey to be an early riser like her grandmother.

Getting up from bed, his limbs protested at the movements, struggling to get up. His chest felt heavy, yet he though nothing of it. His chest always felt heavy these days.

Carefully, he followed his seven year old granddaughter down the stairs and into the kitchen. With practice he and Little Rey began to set out the ingredients for French toast. While setting the eggs down on the counter, Ben paused, feeling a shortness of breath.

Taking a moment, he closed his eyes and breathed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**December 2018**

 

 

A warm kiss was planted on his cheek, Rey pressed close to him.

Her cold nose brushed against his jaw, but Ben did not shoo her away like he normally did. Instead, he preened in her attention, turning to bump his nose against hers.

“We wasted so much time,” she muttered against his skin as she pressed another kiss under his jaw. “If I’d known…”

“If you’d know what?” he teased, glancing down at her. She was curled against his chest, her head nestled under her chin. He could feel the heat of her breath along his chest and neck, the curl of her hand on his shirt.

He could feel her nearness and openness, nothing reluctant in their touches. Just honest, giving, and searching for a new familiarity. The two were little giddy and silly, their kisses ranging from innocent and sweet to the deep rooted longing neither let themselves delve into in the past. At some point the urgency faded into soft looks and lips, the exhaustion of the day weighing down on them.

Simply holding each other was enough, simply being with the other was enough.

“If I’d know how you felt—” she spoke quietly, as though afraid of what she’d admit, or rather afraid to truly acknowledge how she felt over the loss of time. “If I’d known, maybe things would have been different.”

“No,” Ben murmured, “I think everything happened the way it was supposed to…I wouldn’t trade anything for the what ifs…our kids are mixed in those what ifs.”

“I wouldn’t trade anything for them either,” she said, honesty shining in her hazel eyes. “But I need to know…how long?”

“How long what?”

“How long have you…” she shrugged against him, “had feelings for me?”

“What are we, in fifth grade using the word ‘ _feelings’_?”

“Ben,” she whacked his chest lightly, “I’m being serious.”

He turned on his side, brown eyes drowning in her hazel gaze. “Always.”

“Now you’re being silly,” she rolled her eyes, tucking her hands under her head, “you hated me when you met me!”

“Did I?” he frowned attempting to recall. “Maybe I did…and then I didn’t. And don’t really understand how because you are…well you’re _you_.”

She scoffed, burring half her face into her pillow. “You really know how to charm a woman.”

“I’m being honest!” His eyes narrowed on her. “How about you? Since you made it confession hour.”

Her lips pursed, thinking. She sighed. “I guess…it was just in the back of mind,  but never real. I mean…I never acknowledged how I felt until recently.” She swallowed, suddenly embarrassed. “I think some of my choices and some of my actions stemmed from how I felt and pushing those feelings away.”

“Why’d you push them away?”

“I thought you could never love me,” she admitted, eyes downcast. “At least never in a romantic way, I don’t even think I let myself think in romantic terms about anyone…”

“I thought _you_ could never love _me_ ,” Ben said, their words reflecting. “I was terrible to you at times and I had so much shit going on all the time. And I was a single dad, no one would want to—”

“You are an amazing dad,” she interjected before he could ramble any further into a spiral. “The best one you could ever be for Thea and Max. You keep us all together, even during the rough times. That’s all you, not me.”

“I wouldn’t be who I am without you.”

She blinked back, stunned before a smile graced her lips.

In the dark, his hand found hers. Fingers interlocked, familiar and new, waiting for the next chapter of their lives.

And everything was alright.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**November 2048**

 

 

“Sweetheart, Pop-pop is going to go lie down,” he said, feeling a little lightheaded.

Little Rey hummed as she began to drown her meal in maple syrup.

Ben patted his granddaughter’s head. Her dark curls bounced, a spitting image of Thea. The mischief in her eyes reflect those of another woman she shared no blood relation to, yet seemed to embody every day with her antics.

“What about your French toast?” Little Rey asked, pointing to his awaiting plate, already smothered with syrup.

“I’m…” he exhaled shakily, “I’m not really hungry. You can have it.”

Her eyes lit up, reaching for the plate. “Thank you Pop-pop! Love you,” she called out, stuffing a piece of her French toast into her mouth.

“Love you too,” he muttered, sparing her one last glance before heading back up the stairs to his bedroom.

With heavy steps he climbed each stair, eyes catching the various photos and pictures lining the walls.

The grandkids.

The kids.

 _Rey_.

His heart weeps and stutters at the sight of her, as it always did.

He makes the final few steps, feeling heavier, leaning against the side of the wall for support. In a haze, he found himself back in his room, lying on his bed.

He wheezed a bit, something not feeling…right in his chest and he was too drained to understand it.  A faint, logical part of him yearned to scream for help. To find Thea or Eugene, ask them to take him to hospital, however those thoughts melted away when he saw _her_.

She sat on the edge of the bed, brushed his hair from his eyes. A firm yet gentle touch he knew well and missed most days.

She looked younger, healthier. A longing in her eyes.

_“…if you need someone on your side, you always have me…”_

She then had a ghost of smile…

                                                  …but it was gone in an instant.

And for a moment, Ben Solo felt the alarming urge to kiss her.

To hold her.

To make her smile like that over and over again.

To hear her loud and awkward chuckles and know he was the cause.

“Sweetheart,” he could hear himself mutter. “I’m scared,” he confessed.

“It’s okay,” her hand found his, intertwining, “you’re not alone.”

Fingers interlocked, familiar and new, waiting for the next chapter of their lives.

“Neither are you.”

And everything was alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *passes each and everyone of you tissues* I know. I KNOW. I know.
> 
> It hurt writing it. Originally, there was a scene after his death with Thea and Max...but I felt this might be the right way to end the chapter.
> 
> If you recall, the last bit is a call back to the time Ben realizes he loves Rey all the way back in Chapter 9.
> 
> REMEMBER THERE IS ANOTHER CHAPTER TO BE POSTED AFTER THIS CHAPTER!!! This is not the end despite the title XD


	42. ...and The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go...
> 
> (I updated last night as well, so if you haven't read chapter 41, go do it!)
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy :)

* * *

 

 

**….and The Beginning**

**August 2001**

 

 

“We can pay the first month’s rent,” the girl, Rey, insisted, her friend nodding along.

Interview after interview, Poe and Ben were consistently met with duds. Undergrad students who wanted to skirt on by with paying the bare minimum and had little sense of respect. A couple of older individuals, a new professor or two needing a place to crash until houses became available on the market. Then there were a couple of grad students who had more rules than Ben concerning their life style.

Poe and Ben were about to give up and go with the least terrible set of individuals and let them stay with them until the lease went up at the end of the year.

But then _they_ came—two young adults, practically kids, came in with an application hastily filled and a wad of cash.

Hesitantly Poe picked up the wad, starting to count it. “This is the first month’s rent?”

“Like it says on the listing,” the girl said, her chin held high. Holding herself as though she were older and more experienced than her baby face lend to offer. “And we can pay our part—we both work and go to school.”

“You and every other applicant,” Ben muttered, eyeing her carefully. He picked up the form, frowning at the names listed despite hearing the two introduce themselves moments ago.

Poe scowled at him. “It’s great that you know you can but—”

“We can also cook,” the boy, Finn, interjected. “We can totally cook during the week if you guys can’t and—”

The girl nudged her friend silent, sending him a glaring look.

“Our point is we are low maintenance, we will do our share, and we can provide our half of rent every month,” Rey told them. “We just want a place to live since school starts back up soon and well, we need somewhere to sleep.”

Ben and Poe shared a glance. These kids were desperate, but they had the money and were willing to cook. It seemed like a bad idea from one angle and a decent one from another.

“Uh, give us a moment,” Poe announced, yanking Ben further into the apartment.

“What the hell—”

“I think we should let them move in,” he said before Ben could get in another word.

“Excuse me?” Ben peaked his head out of the hall, watching as Rey and Finn spoke quietly to each other, hunched in a huddle. He turned back to Poe, aghast. “They barely look like they are out of high school—”

“All the more reason.”

“No,” Ben shook his head, “I am not going to have teenagers in here who will only cause trouble.”

“Ben, they look like they need the help,” Poe stressed, “I don’t know if I can go to sleep tonight knowing they have nowhere else to go.”

“They didn’t say that specifically.”

“But they said it in so many words,” Poe shot back, arms crossed anxiously over his chest. “We got to help them.”

Huffing, Ben shoved the application to Poe chest. “No. That is my answer. I don’t want to deal with what ever trouble they might bring. We’ll talk about this later, I have to go to a department meeting.”

Annoyed with Poe martyr nature, Ben went off to grab his backpack and keys. Marching past the two kids, he frowned and did not spare a glance.

He couldn’t be like Poe and let every sad fool live in their apartment. One of them needed to be the hard-ass and apparently that was Ben.

One thing Ben _didn’t_ account for was Poe pulling a fast one.

“They are already moved in,” Poe told him the moment Ben stepped back into the apartment that afternoon. “They are working on unpacking their room right now—”

“What the hell? We are supposed to decide together,” Ben hissed.

“Well it is my name on the lease—”

“And it is my family who has covered our utilities—”

“I just think it is best and I am not going to kick them out since they already gave me first month’s rent.”

The two stood off, glaring at one another as they silently came to terms with the situation—Ben was furious and Poe didn’t give a damn and would do whatever he pleased.

But also the man was Ben’s oldest friend and one who had a big heart despite his rather reckless and selfish tendencies. He wouldn’t say yes to anyone, and for some absurd reason he said yes to those kids.

“Fine, fuck it,” Ben grumbled, “but the moment something goes to shit, it’s on you. Not me.”

Poe was relieved at the news, however Ben did little else. He had work to do, a reading list to finish compiling, and make a call to him mother since he missed their usual call  time due to the roommate interviews. Instead, he went to his room, ignoring the chatter coming from the bedroom across the hall.

He didn’t notice the girl watching him, with weary eyes matching his own.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Somewhere between ten and eleven at night, Ben realized he needed to eat. He couldn’t avoid the rest if the apartment forever; he did live there after all.

So checking the hall—all the doors were closed and the lights were shut off—Ben decided to venture out and make himself a bowl of cereal.

He shuffled to the kitchen, rubbing the lingering sleep in his eyes. When he flicked on the kitchen light, he nearly stumbled at the sight of _her_.

The girl. _Rey_.

She was sitting at the breakfast nook, a small book lap attached to her novel and a cup of tea sitting beside her. Her hair was piled on her head and she was dressed in worn, oversized pajama pants and t-shirt.

“What the hell are you doing?” Ben breathed out, a yawn begging to come from his lips.

Rey blinked owlishly at him. “…um…reading.” She motioned to her book. “I have a hard time sleeping.”

“Me too,” he found himself agreeing.

Eyes darting between her and the cabinet, Ben realized he couldn’t necessarily kick her out of kitchen for some privacy when she was doing absolutely no harm. And Rey seemed harmless, sitting there reading and drinking tea, lost in her own world.

Setting aside his own aggravation—as it was with Poe and not her per say—Ben went about making himself a bowl of cereal. Pouring the Fruit Loops into a bowl, he felt Rey’s eyes on him. A quiet and curious pensiveness behind her bright hazel eyes.

“What?” he muttered as grabbed the milk.

“Nothing…” she said, only to continue staring.

“Do you…do you want a bowl?” he offered, still not understanding why she was just _looking_ at him.

“No, I’m good. Thank you,” she mumbled, finally ducking back into her book.

Her paperback was a ratty old thing, falling apart at the seam. From the stickers stuck on the back, Ben realized it must have been a thrift find, or multiple thrift finds, as several price tags were faded and worn. Gentle hands held the novel together, along with a few staples and paperclips, tended with care and love.

She adored the novel by the looks of it. A comfort.

Squinting, he finally caught the title— _Jane Eyre_.

He had more than one copy of the classic, even a collectors edition.

Yet here was this girl, reading a old copy on its last leg. Reading the novel as though it were the best scrap on this Earth.

“Um…I have a copy of that book,” he nodded to her, “if you’d like to borrow it.”

She lifted her eyebrows at his stutter over ‘borrow’. “I’m fine.”

Just then the page she was reading fell out.

She huffed, sticking it back in. “It’s no big deal. Happens all the time.”

“Is it your favorite?” Ben asked, having an affinity to the classis as well.

“Yes,” she said simply. “I’ve read it…I’ve read it so much I’ve lost count,” she confessed.

“Where are you at?”

“Chapter fifteen,” she answered, closing her book slowly. “Rochester just told Jane about his love for Celine.”

“Right before the bedroom fire?”

“Right,” she hummed, a subtle grin on her lips. “You know the story well then?”

“I have written numerous papers on _Jane Eyre_ ,” Ben admitted, “you can call me an enthusiast.”

“Ah, I see…” she clicked off the little reading light, sparing a small glance at Ben. “I wouldn’t call myself an enthusiast but…” Rey shrugged, “It’s a story I always find myself going back to.”

“You relate to Jane?” Ben asked, his curiosity piqued. He rarely met someone who adored the story with the same sensitivity as himself.

“Well, I don’t see myself falling in love with a grumpy man with an illegitimate daughter,” she replied, “but I’m an orphan and Jane’s an orphan…and she’s figuring out her life for herself and I can only hope I can do that. Come from nothing and make something, become someone to somebody…” A flush came up her neck, she looking away as though realizing maybe she said too much.

“That’s…that’s great,” Ben said, finding his voice. “I mean, that’s what stories are supposed to do. Relate to us on some emotional level…I’m glad you found it with _Jane_ ,” he said quietly, looking between her and the book in her hand. “Please let my just loan you my copy—that looks like it is about to fall apart, and you should keep it but—but keep in a safe place. It’s important.”

She snorted, covering her mouth half a second late. “Fine, okay—go get your copy I guess, since you are so adamant on it.”

Sighing with relief, Ben left the kitchen to his room. Once finding his copy, he came back to the kitchen area, handing her the hardcover copy. Cautious and grateful, she accepted the book.

“When do you want me to give it back to you?”

“Whenever you’re done with it.”

She gave a half smirk—not quite a smile but something hoping to be. “Then you might never get it back.”

“That’s okay,” Ben said, spoon stirring his soggy cereal. “I have enough copies of the book. Missing one won’t kill me.”

“Right,” she said tersely, standing to put her cold tea in the sink. Turning back to face him, she nodded once. “Then I guess I’ll see you in the morning, roomie.”

“In the morning,” Ben echoed back with a polite salute. “Good night, Rey.”

Rey paused, looking back up at him, her eyes having a way of holding him still. “Good night, Ben.”

Little did they know it would be the first of a lifetime of good nights—the beginning of the rest of their lives together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I cry writing this? Yes.
> 
> But I am leaving them at the beginning.
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who read this little story, who welcomed these characters into their lives and loved them dearly. So much was told and many was left untold, but I felt it was time to say goodbye to 'it takes a village'. We may see more from this universe in the future, with TheaGene, but as of now it is a farewell. 
> 
> Writing this fic was a gift and helped me get through some tough times. I wish I had more words of gratitude and appreciation to share, yet my emotional self cannot form them. So thank you again for simply loving this story and sticking with it through all it's ups and down :)


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